2020 Oscars Best Picture Recaps


This Sunday are the Oscars. Now I know that the Oscars are fairly problematic for well all of these reasons. But there is something magical about them. They’re fun. To see all those stars dressed up and honestly it’s better than watching this BS. Where as we speak a long tall
and very powerful wall is being built. So, in case you didn’t have time to see all
the Best Picture nominees, cuz you were, I don’t know, too busy seeing Endgame six times, or looking for the popeyes chicken sandwich or raging out on Twitter, I am here to help you out. Before you fill out your Vanity Fair printout ballot here are some quick recaps of all the Best Picture nominees. Two hot people yelling. Although it could have been The Two Popes. Either way. The hot priest, Mr. Darcy, and Dr. Strange enlist two kids to run across a
battlefield for two hours to defeat pre-Hitler. I did that one continuous take. Jojo rabbit is a polarizing political satire about Jojo Betzler, a ten-year-old
boy living in Nazi Germany when he finds out his single mom is
hiding a Jewish girl in his attic he must confront his blind nationalism and realize that love is stronger than hate you know the common phrase never work
with children or Nazis. Cars the live actually Pixar
remake. I have a minivan. A white male comedian gets very skinny starts murdering people because they don’t like his jokes did we really need
a movie about that? Just go be a Twitter troll like everybody else. Parasite for when you want to read a novel that keeps you on the edge of your seat but also
watch the movie adaptation at the same time. The Irishman. Men? Man? doesn’t matter. a Martin Scorsese film about a young man in the mob who works hard to advance himself through the ranks and enjoys his life of wealth and
luxury but a few mistakes and missteps ultimately unravel his rise to the top. starring Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci – (off camera) wait isn’t that Goodfellas? same thing. Brad Pitt still looking super hot lots of feet and somehow Charles Manson. I don’t know You know when you go to a museum with a friend that’s like super into art and they go up to the painting up like a Cezanne
or a Monet and they just stand there staring at it and you stand there
staring at it too even though you have no idea what’s going on so instead of
knowing what’s going on you just make up dialogue for whatever is happening in
the painting. No? Just me? Okay, well, anyway, Little Women is a painting come to life. Greta Gerwig should have been nominated! was not nominated for Best Picture. I’m very bitter about it. You saw the sweater. I saw the sweater. Everyone saw the sweater. How? Okay, that’s all of them. So enjoy the Oscars! Bye! (Dogs barking) Dogs, I have dogs. They’re very excited about it.

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