ABC CEO: “No More Racist Shows” | CH Shorts

ABC CEO: “No More Racist Shows” | CH Shorts

– Hi, America, my name is Brian
Hat and I’m the CEO of ABC. Our company has always always sought to produce wholesome, original content that brings people
together across the aisle, but recently, we’ve had
a couple big misses. Roseanne, Last Man Standing, these were attempts at
bringing us together, ultimately, couldn’t connect
with our core values. For that, we apologize. Moving forward, we wanna prove to you that we are redoubling our
efforts to create programming that speaks to the heartland while not attacking the
very core of human decency. So thanks for watching
and make sure to tune in for this fall’s newest
sitcom, Baby Immigrant, starring Adam Carolla, Ted
Nugent, and Jeff Dunham. This is a fucking time bomb, man. Give me a break. Adam Carolla? Can Ted Nugent act? ABC isn’t just for families either. Keep an eye out for this fall’s Divarsity, where two college athletes
will lose their scholarships unless they can trick
their friends and faculty into thinking they’re women of color. Oh, God. Who agreed to be in this show?! – Logan Paul?! – The sweaty guy from the Charlotte?! (sighs) ABC’s more than just comedy. Our new soap opera, Blue Lives to Live, tells the story of a police
precinct full of romance, betrayal, and the one woman brave enough to delete over 300 hours
of body cam footage. (laughs) We’re fucked! We’re fucked, man. We are fucked. (sobs) Tell me we have something
that will not cause a boycott. – A reboot? – Family Matters. It’s a blast from the past here at ABC ’cause we’re heading back to Chicago to catch up with the Winslow family and old Steve Urkel in
All Families Matter, an all-white reboot of the classic, no! No! Don’t move over to get the poster! Back on me! (groans) I took care of Roseanne! I took care of Tim Allen! How is this shit getting green lit? We cannot keep selling shows to Fox! For fans of Chicago Med and Chicago Fire, make sure to check out
Chicago EMT and Chicago Klan, coming to, okay. Chicago Klan? Who did this show test well with? Can I see the demo information, please? Thank you. Okay, so I’ve noticed something. This survey was conducted at a Klan rally. Do you think that there’s
a problem with that? Marking our first foray
into prestige journalism, we’re excited to bring our new hour-long in-depth investigative reporting program, News For White People with co-anchors Mel Gibson
and any blonde woman. – No Homo starring Kelsey
Grammer, green lit! The Handmaid’s Tale, But We
Frame It Like It’s A Good Thing starring Patricia Heaton. Other than the title, guys,
you know that’s green lit! School Shooter Shooter
starring a digitally reanimated Charlton Heston and Ted Nugent! The Nuge?! You know I gotta green lit the Nuge! I wanted to do something good. You know, bring the left
and the right together. We’re so divided, I just thought, and you guys hired all
these racist lunatics, and that’s not what I, look, Bridget, can we get
that poll information? You wanna know the number one thing that middle Americans wanted to see on TV? It was, uh, racist lunatics. They had to bubble in
Other and write that. That was obviously not one
of the options we put in. This country is fucked. Yeah, it’s bad. – We aired Baby Immigrant? What the fuck are you talking about? – First in the time slot? I mean, we can get Nugent
an acting coach, right? Hey, guys, it’s Brennan
from College Humor! Click here to subscribe,
click here for more fun stuff, and please keep watching
because if you stop watching, I start to vanish. You get it? I’m not really real. I’m just a thing on your screen. (yelps) Don’t forget me!

Only registered users can comment.

  1. Want to unite the right and the left?

    Don’t even mention anything identity politics.

    These pseudo issues of identity is what’s causing division.

  2. I didn’t know anyone knew ted Nugent his parents used to live right across the street and we would see him and his fancy cars roll by all the time

  3. 3:20 For the life of me I can't figure out how Brennan says "other than the title" so fast. Try it.

  4. So, how is Jeff Dunham racist? I mean Achmed makes fun of terrorists and extremists, not all muslims.

  5. What’s sad is that “Divarsity” movie is kinda actually a thing now. That “laqueesha” movie is exactly the same concept.

  6. This skit totally misses the mark and frames certain people as racist when they aren't. Adam Carolla? Patricia Heaton? I mean, come on.

  7. Keep on making fun of Middle America. Every time you do that you push them more and more to the right. I'm sure 2020 will be very happy for you. I mean talking s*** about Middle America works so well 2016 double down on that shit.

  8. Brennan asks, can Ted Nuggent even act?
    Yeah, like a total racist asshole that eats road kill and marries 16 yr olds.

  9. Man I wish new CH didn't suck so much. Like I'm really trying to like it, it just doesn't… it's… it's shit.

  10. Not sure if the “many Americans are racist” angle is angle is accurate, but the CEO coming around when it makes money is on point!

  11. Last Man Standing couldn't connect? Hahahahahaha, which dullard and his zero understanding of comedy thought that? It's one of the best shows.

  12. So uh… I think the pitch for that second show has actually been made as a movie except the motherfucker is a radio announcer?

  13. Or they can do a live "redo" of two classic TV shows that wouldn't see the light of day on today's "woke" TV stations. Oh wait, they actually DID this. And it drew far MORE viewers than the "woke" PC BS that ABC and other "woke" TV networks try to shove down everyone's throat. Now THAT'S some real funny shit!

  14. So many people would watch Baby Immigrant, that ABC would have to fund a whole other company to be a competitor so they could air these great idea shows.

  15. The truth is painful and funny at the same time…
    But definitely definitely sad
    ABC…. we gave you Blackish and The Lion King stop complaining we got it covered.

  16. That show diversity should have Logan Paul and Elizabeth Warren well especially Elizabeth Warren cuz she think she is a woman of color

  17. In reality though, I wish ABC would bring back Forever about an immortal dude who ends up in a body of water when he is killed and is coroner, with over 100 years of life lived (since colonial america)

  18. ABC: "At least we still have Agents of SHIELD. Quick, order another season!"
    Agents of SHIELD: "There's only so many times we can narrowly escape cancellation, we saw what happened to Agent Carter, and Most Wanted didn't even get picked up, so this time we'll just do what's best for everyone and deliver a definitive ending on our own terms."
    ABC: voice crack "Oh, sure, sounds uh, sounds like a, you know, a plan."

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