America’s Afghanistan Fiasco | The Daily Show

America’s Afghanistan Fiasco | The Daily Show

The war in Afghanistan. It’s basically
the Grey’s Anatomy of wars. We all thought
it ended years ago, but somehow,
it’s still going strong. And now, with the war
in its eighteenth year, we’re learning
for the first time how badly
Americans have been played. Tonight,
newly-released documents raised serious questions about whether
the American people were lied to about the progress
of the war in Afghanistan, the longest in our history. MAN: A massive new trove
of confidential documents obtained
by the Washington Post reveals U.S. officials systematically
lied to the American public about the Afghan war, virtually since the beginning,
18 years ago. The objective:
to conceal widespread fears that America was losing. The rosy picture
that’s been painted by our political
and military leadership, uh, is not the real picture
on the ground. Yes, for 18 years, the American government has been
painting a rosy picture, telling Americans everything has
been going great in Afghanistan, when, in reality,
it’s a total shit show. It’s basically the technique every failing couple uses
on Instagram, you know? It’s just like, “#datenight,
#couplegoals. Send.” It’s like, “Are you done
with your phone now?” “Well,
if you didn’t smile so shitty, I wouldn’t have to take so many
pictures, you dick. I hate you!” “I hate you more!” “Let’s do one more
in portrait mode! Ah!” (laughter) But, yes, we’re now learning from this bombshell
Washington Post exposé that the government manipulated
every detail about the war in Afghanistan. They used numbers
they couldn’t back up. They hyped small successes when they knew the big picture
was getting worse, and they even tried
to spin suicide bombings as a sign of success, which is
confidence, if nothing else. You know, it’s like making
a Tinder profile that says, “You know I’m a catch “because I have my own room
in my mommy’s basement. Swipe right.” Now, it’s not unusual for governments to try
and make things seem like they’re going well in a war
when they aren’t. But what makes the story
even more egregious was that they lied
about even having a plan. MAN:
It says, blunt as can be, “We didn’t know
what we were doing.” WOMAN: We didn’t know
exactly why we were there or how we could get out, and not a soul
could define victory. WOMAN 2:
Retired General Douglas Lute, the Afghan war czar,
saying in 2015, “What are we trying
to do here? “We didn’t have
the foggiest notion of what we were undertaking.” MAN 2:
We didn’t have a strategy. We didn’t even know
who the enemy was. Who were we there to fight? Wow. America sent its troops to Afghanistan for 18 years, and they didn’t even know
who they were going to fight? That’s not how you go to war. That’s-that’s a strategy
of a group of drunk dudes who are going out in Boston,
you know. Just like, “Someone’s getting
(bleep) up tonight, bro.” “Who?”
“I don’t know. Probably us.” (laughter) But basically,
part of the problem is that the people in charge
didn’t know how to define victory
in Afghanistan, right? Was it beating the Taliban,
or beating al-Qaeda, uh, making the country
a democracy? And if you don’t know
how to end it, then you should just wrap it up
and get out. You know, like they did
with Game of Thrones. She’s dead, he’s gone,
the bird kid is king. Roll the credits.
Roll the credits. Take the money, let’s go. But these people
stretched it out, and this report shows that America’s government
had little success and not much
of a strategy going in. But there was one thing
they had plenty of– money. The problem is,
as any rapper will tell you, more money,
more unnecessary expenditures. Aid workers in the field,
military officers, diplomats– they all said
this was more money than they could possibly spend. That they were ordered
by Congress and officials back in Washington to spend, spend, spend
as quickly as they could, as much as they could. Nearly a billion dollars on helicopters and planes
for the Afghans. Trouble is,
there is serious doubt that the Afghans can fly them. MAN 2: A half million
of your dollars wasted on a building that melted
four months after it was built. $34 million went
to a soybean-growing project, and soybeans don’t grow
in Afghanistan, and people in Afghanistan
don’t eat soybeans. MAN 3:
The Pentagon wasted millions on uniforms for the Afghan army. It was to buy
a forest camouflage pattern. Forests cover
only two percent of Afghanistan. Okay, that is just insane. $28 million
for forest camouflage in a country that’s all desert. The only way that
could have been a bigger waste is if it was
for Forest Whitaker camouflage. Yeah. At least that
would have confused the people. “Makhmoud! We’re being invaded
by the guy from Wakanda! “Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot!
I want his autograph! The strength
of the Black Panther!” So America spent
nearly $2 trillion on the war in Afghanistan with basically nothing
to show for it. And maybe that’s how
you get the U.S. Government to put money into things like
health care or teachers, right? That’s what Americans should do. Just tell them
the Taliban is there. Yeah. Then Congress
will be like, “The Taliban is attacking
schools and hospitals? “Give them more money! Give them
as much money as they need! “And send in three
Forest Whitakers just in case! -(cheering, applause)
-Do it!” Now… you might be thinking, “Who did this to us, Trevor? “Who can we be mad at?
Is it Trump? “Is it Bush? Is it Obama? “‘Cause I didn’t want
to say anything, (whispers):
but I think he’s black.” Well, actually, the answer is… all of the above. U.S. officials have misled
the American people about the conflict
across three administrations, with decades of upbeat
presidential pronouncements about the war. Our progress is a tribute to the
spirit of the Afghan people… and to the might
of the United States military. Here, in the predawn darkness
of Afghanistan, we can see the light
of a new day on the horizon. Great progress is being made. The spirit– and I’m hearing it
from everybody. Everybody that goes over
comes back and say… said, really,
it’s like a different place. Yeah. It turns out that Bush,
Obama and Trump all did their part to exaggerate
America’s success in Afghanistan. And I guess that’s
the silver lining in this story. In a country
increasingly divided every day, it’s nice to learn
that there’s one issue that brings
America’s leaders together: lying about war.

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  1. Even the MSM is now saying what Tulsi Gabbard has been saying for years: the regime change wars in Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq, etc are a scam. And that is why MSM spinners have been trying to ignore or smear her. They are all part of the DC/DNC/media/military industrial partnership. They never saw a war they didn't like. And whether it is Ron Paul or Tulsi Gabbard they do their duty and go after them.

    But fortunately, social media now offers more compelling alternatives to the war industry spinners.

  2. Why did Trump lie??? He pulled the forces from there!!! You people are stupid…

    Trump was talking about Afghanistan the place being better and safer, shit when he pulled the soldiers you had lots to say and now again, you are a puppet and pathetic human being Trevor Noah…

  3. This is what Tulsi Gabbard has been saying in her entire campaign and debates, while getting called out by Hillary Clinton who backs these same wars.

  4. “We didn’t know why we were there” wake up everyone.
    Winning is not the strategy. It’s attacking and keeping them confused as long as you can.
    This allows the US to take all the lithium they can for iPhone batteries since Afghan is the only place besides China to mine it.

  5. you could've had good infrastructure, free education, and free healthcare with all that money, but you decided to kill people with it and for what, you american morons.

  6. It's awesome that this South African piece of shit clown is the closest thing to a voice you liberal cunts have left…. Enjoy the election assholes

  7. That's the problem, isn't it, someone else telling you who your enemy is. All governments worldwide are doing it.

    I'm an anarchist. Not a libertarian though, I'm no fool.

  8. Here is some food for thought. Aaall that money and all those american lives wasted only to waste more innocent lives abroad and make terrorists. How easy is it to radicalize a 16yo whose family has just been bombed to smithereens for no apparent reason at all. And how many of those young men and women are there. The rise of for instance ISIS can be traced back to assholes taking advantage of people feeling betrayed by the US and it's allies. So in essence the wars agains terrorism created more terrorism.
    And then shit talk a whole group of people based on their religion or appearance, treat them like crap in your countries when they try to seek refuge somewhere where they won't be killed, and you have an ocean of betrayed, bitter people. Treat them as humans and help them and you wouldn't have to be afraid. This is a problem the west has created for itself. 😞

  9. Now, what do we do with this information? Memes? Take to Twitter? Cancel the government? Call on celebrities to speak up?

  10. How is it, that, anyone is surprised that the government lied about, everything was going fine or is fine in the war. What’s surprising that we spent that much money on another country, but yet, the government can’t do that for America, put that much money into something else, and instead put tax’s on everything we “own”.

  11. Just another reason to have term limits for these idiot politicians. Senators can run until they're dead. Eisenhower told the USA to be aware of the Industrial Complex. A lot of the rich just keep getting richer due to this and every war since WWII.

  12. The Soviets were in Afghanistan from 1979-1989, and we've been there since 2001. I think the Soviets did the smart thing: they left a sinking ship rather than wasting more and more soldiers' lives trying to keep it afloat.

  13. Isn't this the result of America's legalized system of corruption by allowing lobbying and donations to go unchecked? That money went to companies bidding/pitching for their products and services to be bought bought bought.

  14. War mongers say we cannot afford universal health care and public education. What we cannot afford is to continue this madness of perpetual war for profit, were our soldiers and innocent people are dying. #Bernie2020

  15. Didn't really find this to be a funny subject. Just kinda made me even more sad to be American. I hope we can solve our problems in the future.

  16. All wars are based on lies, whether those of a king or a group of rich men, Erich Maria Remarque told us in his book All Quiet in the Western Front.

  17. Joe Biden was a VP in one of those lying Presidents. Let's vote for him or that guy that made up black support for his campaign. Oh wait, Trumps still in office, I'm sure he'll keep this war going if we give him 4 more years 🤠

  18. The US: Wastes billions of taxpayer's dollars on a war they don't know why they're fighting.

    Also the US: bUt WHoSE gOnnA pAY foR UnIvErSaL HeALThCarE?

  19. This isn't news to anyone bothering to pay attention to reality instead of listening to government BS. Once bin Laden escaped Tora Bora that pretty much ended my support. I can't honestly blame any one individual, it was a group cluster fuck, with participation by Republicans and Democrats. And political leaders have the nerve to tell us we can't afford national healthcare? What a load of crap.

  20. Tell us something we don't know. The main objective of US is to keep the mess standing in Afghanistan for self profits.

  21. However trump has been more vocal about bringing back the troops and actually has brought back more troops though the taliban agreement did not happen

  22. This is ridiculous. Trillions of dollars thrown down the toilet, countless lives lost, and just a complete waste of tow decades. I sincerely apologize to all troops and families affected by this and shame on every one of these presidents for pedaling this bullshit (Especially shame on Trump, but you know, for other reasons on top of this).

  23. Stop recommending this unfunny shitter YouTube…. One of the most unfunny people on TV… Fuck… Downvote this one too…. Take the hint YouTube……..

  24. America is fueled by the military industrial complex since its inception. Raytheon, Boeing, Lockheed Martin, and now Microsoft all make billions off the cycle of perpetual war driven by the ruling classes while they make you hate fellow human beings thousands of miles away over cultural and ethnic differences. The sooner you realise your hate is misplaced and the world has enough resources for everyone's need, but not everyone's greed, the world can start to change.

  25. So many documentaries about how America is always laying to its own people. But the American people seem not to care or maybe they are just ok with all of that mass killing of innocent people who don't look like them and don't live near them…. American citizens are part of the problem as well..they never demanded investigation on any horrific crimes committed by their troops around the world..

  26. "we don't know what we do here" -obama announces to pull out in '09 – then they find rare earths worth at least a TRILLION $ – "oh hey lets send in addional 30k troops to secure the retreat lol"

    hmmmmmmmmm, sure you didn't know what you were doing there ….

  27. As an Afghan I can verify one thing in here America had a lot of fans before the attack of Afghanistan, but now on the opposite they have as many as almost half the country are their enemies and haters.

  28. If one more time I hear 'how will you pay for it' whenever a progressive rolls out a costed plan, I will show them this

  29. "how bad americans have been played"
    wait till you hear about what afghan people had to go through. the few that remain

  30. Holy bvtch! ! You mean to tell me, the obvious. . . WAS ACTUALLY, obvious? Wow. . . Next you'll be telling me ppl are responsible for climate change, Lol.😅

  31. I think it is time for the American government to sort out their priorities, and not take up financial decisions just for the sake of showing they are doing something. Since childhood I thought of the American military in Afghanistan as war heroes and now this news blows up.

  32. As a Mother of a two time Afghanistan Marine Veteran this has waylaid me. Why has it become so difficult to figure out our government and officials? Respectfully I hear vote for the right candidate yet aren't they also part of this process?

  33. Yes thank Republicans. From George W. Bush to Donald J. Trump. Because they're the ones who sent America there. And also plz thank Obama. Because he didn't manage to end this.

  34. 2 Trillion of our tax dollars went to the weapons corporations. What do you expect? That is the ONLY reason we were there, after all. This report is a true statement about how badly The DNC and the RNC are fucking us over.
    The "good" news is that we are a decaying former empire and none of this can last much longer (so the rats steal the cheese and skulk off into the night.)

  35. Hey! I thought you were good at winning wars America! That's like discovering that the guy who brags about being good at playing soccer is just shit and the trophies he got on the shelf were just consolation prices from kindergarten

  36. Afghanistan is how we test to see how effective futuristic fighter bombers are in annihilating third world peasants. Also Afghanistan has large deposits of lithium for electric car batteries.

  37. It started with Bush and his front admin. GOP and Bush seriously messed up and siphoned off our wealth into BS ME catastrophe. Meanwhile, our children go hungry and schools crumble 😡

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