You’ve been over, visited me. – Yes.
– I know your kids… Is this being passed on to… – Yes, Yes.
– ..your children? Our two year old right now,
I’ll say, “How old are you?” And she goes, “I’m four and a half.” Which is,
her older sister’s four and a half. And I go, “No, you’re not. “You’re not four and a half,”
and then she grabs my face and goes, “FOUR AND A HALF.” [Laughter] That was also kind of
a Schwarzenegger a little bit. [Schwarzenegger voice]
“I’m four and a half, father.” [Laughter] “We gotta get out of here!” [Laughter] “Get out of there,
there’s a bomb in there! Get out!” [Laughter]
“Dad, come on, get out! “We got to go!” “I need a pull-up on, now! “We’re going to watch Peppa Pig, now! I love Schwarzenegger as a baby,
so much fun. “I wanna watch Doc McStuffins.” [Laughter] “And then I need my yoghurt. Come on!” “I threw up, I need Pedialyte!” [Laughter] [Applause] That’s great. I can only think of him that way now. [Normal voice] He’s little, this baby
with his head, just running around. He’s gotta have the same head
that he has now but with a little baby’s body – and a diaper.
– Yeah. – But a cigar.
– Yeah, a cigar going… [Schwarzenegger voice]
“Get in here, come on. “Change this.” [Laughter] “We got to go.” [Conan does Schwarzenegger]
“We got to go.” “We got to go.” “State of California.” [Laughter] – “California.”
– “California.” [Bill laughs] What kind of… – [Laughter continues]
– What kind… I’m just curious, were…were you… I’m trying to pic… [Laughter, applause] Now you can’t stop. [Normal voice] Now I can’t stop, sorry! You gotta do something more
with him as a baby. I know, no, what am I going to do? I don’t know if it’s been done,
but it’s just so… No, I’m saying, like,
you’ve got to produce this. You’ve got to make a cartoon
where he’s a baby. ‘Cause that’s the only way
I want to see him from now on. You’re going to see that billboard
while you’re driving down Sunset, like, “Schwarzenegger Baby”. [Schwarzenegger voice] Come on! I would watch every second of that,
50 times. I was a PA
on an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie called Collateral Damage and, um… – [Solitary clap]
– Hey! – All right.
– [Laughter] One person’s like,
“Oh, hey… Hm.” Uh, no, and that was the big line
in that movie, was, [Schwarzenegger voice] “Open up the door,
there’s a bomb in there.” [Laughter] And the first time I met him… The first time I met him, I go… He comes up to me and he had his cigar
in his mouth and he goes, “Where is Jeff and Peter?”
That’s his hair and make-up guys. Yeah. And I go, uh, “I don’t know,
I’ll find them.” And he goes… [Schwarzenegger voice] “Find them.
Show me your leadership capabilities.” [Laughter, applause] I love… I love when you hear a story
and you know it’sexactlytrue. – Yeah!
– Yeah. [Normal voice] It’s like,
“Show me your leadership capabilities.” I was like, “They’re right there.” [Laughter] “There they are.” “They’re sitting
in little director chairs over there.” [Bill laughs] Oh, my God. Oh, I’d like to do this
for four more hours.