Bloomberg’s Belated 2020 Bid | The Daily Show

Bloomberg’s Belated 2020 Bid | The Daily Show


Right now the Democratic party
has an option for everyone. There’s moderates,
there’s progressives, there’s X-Men, and there’s even a guy who’s worth $1.6 billion. But what if $1.6 billion just isn’t rich enough
for some voters? Well, then,
those people might be in luck. The Democratic race
for president appears to be heating up
this morning. Former New York City mayor
and billionaire businessman Michael Bloomberg
filing paperwork on Friday to get on the ballot
for the Alabama primary. NEWSWOMAN: While he’s not
officially in the race yet, Bloomberg wants
to keep his options open, and now he wants to ensure President Trump
is defeated in 2020. His spokesman
telling NBC News… (reading): I have my reservations
about the people running and the way they’re campaigning and the-the promises they’re
making that they can’t fulfill and their unwillingness
to really, uh, admit what they– what is possible and what isn’t. Yes, Michael Bloomberg,
former New York City mayor and world’s richest house elf, is on the verge of jumping
into the Democratic primary because he doesn’t think any
of the current candidates can beat Trump.
And you have to admit, that’s such a billionaire thing
to do, right? No, because if a normal person
is worried about someone’s incompetence,
like, what do we do? We just hope for the best,
right? We just be like, “I don’t think
this pilot can land the plane. “Oh, I’m gonna pray
and text my family. “I hope they get the text
before Valentine’s Day. Oh, my God, I hope they get it
before Valentine’s Day.” We just have to hope. Meanwhile, a billionaire’s like, “I just bought the plane
and fired the pilot. Now I’ll land it myself.” It’s like, “Do you know
how to fly a plane?” “I can figure it out.
I’m very rich.” Like, why do billionaires
always do this? You know? It’s not just him.
Like, look at Bruce Wayne. Gotham’s crime
was out of control. Instead of complaining
about the cops, he was like, “Alfred, build me a car
that shoots grenades. I’ll do this myself.
I’ll just do it myself.” -(cheering and applause)
-So… billionaire Michael Bloomberg may be making
a fashionably late entrance into the presidential race, and his fellow Democrats aren’t exactly giving him
a warm welcome. I think that Mike is expressing
concern about this primary field and he should not have concern. This is a stark difference from
someone that can just come in and plop down checks
and buy a bunch of ads. Um, I think
people are gonna see through it. I think that our elections should not be something
that are bought by billionaires. So, tonight,
we say to Michael Bloomberg and other billionaires, sorry! You ain’t gonna buy
this election! -(laughing)
-(cheering and applause) Oh, man. I love Bernie Sanders. He does not mess around. You see that? Look,
he’s shutting down Bloomberg the way Popeyes employees
would be shutting down racists. Just like, “Sorry! “You ain’t gonna buy
this spicy sandwich if you say the N-word!” And I see what Bernie and
the other Democrats are saying. The only reason
it’s even possible for Bloomberg to jump
into the race so late isn’t because he has,
like, a groundswell of popular support behind him– it’s that he has $53 billion
to spend. Yeah. $53 billion. With that amount of money,
Bloomberg could, like, keep cloning
different versions of himself until he finds
the most electable one. He could be like,
“How about a tall Bloomberg? “Or how about a buff Bloomberg? “What about a black Bloomberg? Oh, no. Now I have to stop
and frisk myself!” And while the Democrats
are not thrilled that Bloomberg has thrown
his jockey cap into the ring, there’s a Republican billionaire
who seems very happy about this. There is nobody I’d rather
run against than Little Michael. Little Michael will fail. He’ll spend a lot of money. Uh, he’s got
some really big issues. He’s got some personal problems. And he’s got
a lot of other problems. But I know Michael Bloomberg
fairly well. Not too well. Fairly well.
Well enough. He will not do very well. “I know him not too well.
Fairly well. Not too well. Well enough.” -What? What are you doing?
-(cheering and applause) What are you doing? You know what, it almost feels
like Donald Trump tries to keep one foot out
of the door on every friendship, just in case that friend
turns out to be a pedophile. That’s what it feels
like he’s doing. “I know him well,
unless he’s touching kids. Then I’ve never met him.
Never met him.” Now, some people
may be wondering why Bloomberg is only joining
the race now. I mean, he told us back in March that he definitely
wasn’t running. So what changed his mind? Well, maybe all he needed
was a little push from another member of the point, zero, zero,
zero, zero one percent. WOMAN: Michael Bloomberg,
we know, taking steps to run for president. Another billionaire reportedly
giving him a little push, a little support. Recode is reporting
that Amazon’s Jeff Bezos called Bloomberg
to personally urge him to run. Wow. Jeff Bezos told Bloomberg
to run? You know you’re rich when the Amazon guy orders
something from you. (laughter) That’s money. (applause) Like… Whatever you think of Bloomberg,
you have to admit it’s not a great look
for him and Jeff Bezos to be teaming up
on this presidential run. I mean, can you even imagine
what it sounds like when two guys
with a combined net worth of $160 billion hatch a plan
together? Can you just imagine
what their phone call is like? Well, the good news is,
you don’t have to imagine, because we managed
to hack that call. (helicopter whirring) (tiger growling, dodo squawking) (audience groaning, laughing) (phone clicks off)

Only registered users can comment.

  1. The Billionnaires are panicking now that two of the three leading democratic candidates advocate policies that would make them a tiny bit less rich, to help the rest of the country. Oh what a tragedy if they only owned, say, 80 billion, rather than a 100 billion? How could they possibly survive?! 😱

  2. Warren reveals her plan for Medicare for all:
    Bezos: Bloomberg you gotta shut this shit down.
    Bloomberg: I know right, I can't downgrade from the Iranian Beluga caviar.
    Bezos: I know! What do they expect from us?! To eat Lumpfish?
    Bloomberg: Like we're on welfare! Now excuse me, my Ortolan is getting cold.
    Bezos: If Warren wins we'll be eating them from under polyester napkins.
    Bloomberg: I'm on it buddy.

  3. X men? And you show a solitary picture of a woman after two doubles and don't include Andrew Yang? For real, sadly Yang media blackout is still alive.

  4. We should create a public voting system along side the government machines provided for voting and see how the numbers change. We have one voting system with no fact checking and were just supposed to trust the numbers on who's elected president….. oh yah and don't get me started on the electoral college

  5. Trump , what an idiot . He is talking about bloomberg having problems , what ? is Bloomberg facing anything as serious as impeachment . Idiot Orange doesnt even know how well he knows Bloomberg . My bet is he scared to death , because he is used to buying things and People , Trump does not have the money to live in Bloombergs World .

  6. Trevor Noah , thank you . Guys like you , Seth meyers , Bill Maher , Stephan Colbert and SNL , make watching anything about Trump a little less painful.

  7. Oh I see you Amazon, you lost the elections here in Seattle so now you want to buy a presidential race so you can keep from paying taxes. #fuckyoubezos

  8. 3:57 I know Michael Bloomberg fairly well. Not too well. Fairly well. Well enough. He will not do very well?🤷‍♀️🤦‍♂️

  9. You called Tulsi Gabbard an "ex-man" as a joke? Then didn't mention Andrew Yang and gave 2 billionaires free advertising

  10. Lol. So last time it was “make America great again” and this time it’s “not the rich dudes”. Does anybody want to talk about policy!? I suppose Americans just vote for the person with the best hype train and not the best policy. Try again in another decade…..

  11. Charlemagne the god said it best. Anybody running for president should have a certain level of education and has been a public official or held some type of public office to be president.you can’t just be a entertainer or celebrity and get to be in the highest office in the land.

  12. Trevor ironically your airplane crisis scenario works in favor of Mike Bloomberg. He is licensed airplane pilot and could land the plane and save the day. Right stuff?

  13. Billionaires represent personal success, the last person who you want to represent a country, or community is someone who only knows how to horde wealth away from everyone else.

  14. TBH, none of the Dem candidates is able to unseat the POTUS. Is there anyone who can beat the Orange? I just have enough with the man.

  15. The billionaires running seem like the think the only problem is president trump and after he’s gone they’ll have nothing to do :/

  16. One more that will further split the vote letting Trump win. They have to stop attacking each other, focus on cutting the field down to 2 or 3 if they can't decide on just one, and start talking about how they will undo the damage done by Trump and how their ideas are better.

  17. EXACTLY this man flip flops and only wants to make a scene……just stay in your hedge hog hole and let these leaders run a new course in this country…..enough with the golf course life💪🏾💪🏾🇺🇸🇺🇸💪🏾💪🏾🇺🇸🇺🇸💪🏾💪🏾🇺🇸🇺🇸

  18. What a Strategy – Billionaires like Bezos and Gates need 2 billionaires to run against eachother, so they win either way against paying taxes to the American's that made them rich

  19. Ugh the ageism in this thread is annoying.Age doesn't make someone out of touch in politics. Ignorance does. Not examining the bigger picture. Refusing to see other points of view. Selling soundbites over realistic strategies. Lacking transparency on financial impact in policy strategies makes someone out of touch. And not critically reviewing your own candidate is out of touch. Ppl act like the president is a messiah. The president needs to put kickass ethical cabinets together who hire ethical ppl from all parties to carry out our democracy. Woosah. 🤦🏽‍♀️

  20. Bloomberg started stop and frisk in NYC I seriously doubt that Black and Hispanic people are going to vote for him so him joining was a waste of time.

  21. Bloomberg should have been there from the start. Best candidate to beat Trump. NYC would not be where its at without Bloomberg… #NotUpForDebate

  22. Bezos and Bloomberg were trying to start a health insurance company with Buffet. They're just trying to protect you their assets. Or Jeff has dirt on Mike. Take your pick

  23. Remember how Trump said that he would LOVE to run against Joe Biden? Yes, tomorrow we'll hear about that one — I mean the fear of Joe Biden — went in Ukraine. Next, Trump says that he would LOVE to run against Michael Bloomberg. Translation: Oy Vey! This is a disaster for me; so tell "Little Mike" NOT to run, PLEASE!!! I agree with Michael Bloomberg that we — Democrats — are making a fatal mistake with our current candidates. I seriously hope that Bloomberg can truly beat Donald Trump. Trump knows a real billionaire when he sees one, and it's NOT by looking at the mirror…. Michael Bloomberg actually scares Trump A LOT!

  24. Brilliant move by Trump,getting Bloomberg to run…he knows Bloomberg will beat the other candidates easily and then make it smoother for Trump to win.

  25. So his enabler wants to pull a Gerald Ford and pardon him? He can insert himself deeply inside himself.
    And just because he got a black woman to say she's obsessed with him? Come on!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *