Date/Epic & Disaster Movie – The WORST Trilogy of all Time

Date/Epic & Disaster Movie – The WORST Trilogy of all Time

It was pointed out to me that it’s been over six months since I uploaded a Search for the Worst video. You probably thought it was for an obvious reason, like I’d fallen into a deep depression, or got my hands on a very cute, time-consuming puppy, or simply didn’t want to submit myself to these kinds of movies for a bit. Let’s just say the poison needed time to wear off, but I’m back, I’m invigorated! So… Let’s talk about the worst godforsaken filmmakers ever put on planet Earth, shall we? I got some feedback saying that it’s been too long since I ventured into the hellhole that is the… IMDb Bottom 100, and I do admit it’s been too long. But I was immediately drawn to a pattern that I noticed within their entrails that I saw before me. Not only do five of the bottom 100 movies of all time have the word “movie” in the title, but more than three of them were directed by the same people! These of course are “Date Movie”, as the 25th lowest-rated film, “Epic Movie”, as the 12th lowest-rated, and “Disaster Movie”, as THE number one lowest-rated film of ALL time. The collection of these three films I’d like to call the “DED Trilogy”. D-E-D. Because that’s how it makes you feel after you watch any one of them. And yes, I know, that’s not even counting “Meet the Spartans” at number 22, which I won’t be covering here because I… Come on, I can only withstand so much of this right now. Now, I had seen these films before, a long, long time ago, but I couldn’t quite believe they were… that bad? As I was seeing in the reviews or how they sat in my memory, but no, they’re just as fucking cretinous as everyone said they were at the time. These- they are bad! Usually with these truly, truly awful films there is at least SOME glint of respect. I can wring out the assurance that these people tried their best or had a blast making it. But these fucking pieces of actual trash right here before me… I’ve no respect on an artistic level for these absolute comedy legends: Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, because they come across as the most unlikable, wannabe frat boy, beer-drinking misogynist, too insecure of their sexuality chads. They should be off on a beach somewhere, not spending up, what’s it, 20 million dollars as an excuse to have a party with models and get pissed! God, it makes me so genuinely angry. Let’s just start with Date Movie. DATE MOVIE! To my utter shock and dismay, Date Movie wasn’t quite as bad as I was anticipating. That’s not to say it’s good or anything, but this dumb shit managed to get a laugh out of me a worrying amount of times. “There’s this huge space between us… and it keeps getting bigger and bigger.” Do I genuinely have brain damage? You can tell this is when “Fried Bean” and Seltzer kind of cared… Sort of… A little bit? “Ladies, may I introduce the bachelor?” Instead of basically trying to pass off a YouTube shitpost as a product you should pay for. The dilemma is for me, for me at least, this film is responsible for allowing these cockroaches to find the success necessary to continue to make this cinematic diarrhea that astonishingly are still being produced to this day! There’s apparently a Star Wars one in development now. So it’s hard to find the will to complement anything about the movie because it’s still a largely nasty, blundering and offensive film to a lot of people. I have no issue with the concept of these parody movies. I think when a huge trend overtakes the world, that leaves a sizable market for people who wanna mock it for comedy’s sake and take whatever it is down a peg or two. Some of my very favorite movies are loving satires or parodies in and of themselves, but you know what makes them good? Compared to this? “To Grant and Julia.” “YEAH? WHAT? OKAY!” Because they don’t forget about the most bare-bones, crucial aspect! The part where you tell a story! The part where you convince the audience that this was worth the price of admission, the part where you PROVE that your voice is worthy of joining the ranks of the films that you’re poking fun at! The actual plot of Date Movie is that there’s an overweight woman who wants to find love, so she loses all of her weight over the course of a rushed, gross-out montage, and the rest of the film is dedicated to a tiring love triangle with a hottie British guy and a jealous ex. Then King Kong kills Carmen Electra and the movie ends. That’s actually how the movie ends. Comedy fucking gold. The directors don’t even commit to their own premises. They probably lack the energy to do so. They were handed a platform to actually mock the genre that is being milked to death with a hint of subtlety and cleverness, but instead, they went full retard and just made a simple, formulaic date movie exactly like the ones they’re spoofing. Except somehow with an even worse sense of humor, and also with the added spice of having nothing make any sense, constantly breaking the fourth wall… “I understand.” “Homeboy.” And just a general aura that nothing was taken very seriously, and it was much a joke to everyone involved that this shit was even being made in the first place. “A Q-tip, a Q-tip, a Q-tip. Throw it away, throw it away.” “You call that dance?!” My problem is that the film MAYBE could have worked! If they just had ONE single thing polished, ONE pillar of quality to stand on, perhaps some intelligent metaphors about how Hollywood constantly farts out the same garbage over and over again, or something like that. Like, it’s simple, but that would be something! “Is it too late to crash the fuck-your-daughter wedding?” But no, I cannot pinpoint a single aspect that justifies positive engagement. Just saying that a few off-the-wall, absurdist jokes caught me off-guard isn’t enough to salvage what we have left. Honestly, with the attempt at humor removed from the film, you really don’t have a movie left at all! You have a bunch of actors either chewing the scenery or being chewed BY the scenery because of how unbelievably bad they are. “Like a dirty sanchez, like a…” “THAT MAKES ME CRUMBLE!” Why even- why even bother? The presentation of the film is nothing special, it’s the most standard, American comedy way of shooting material like this. And by material, I mean the shears that are on the backs of “Freedboerg” and “Selzor”, who clearly just made this shit up as they went along and didn’t write a single word down. On a technical level, the film was mostly bland and uninteresting, besides the odd use of a joke in the background of a frame a la “Airplane!” or something. “Oh, I was just practicing CAPOEIRA!” “Capo what?” “CAPOEIRA!” I’m sure a few of you by now are wondering why I’m not particularly convinced just as to why this film is so not funny. Surely, that’s up for me to decide, and trying to describe why something isn’t funny will always be based on variables that are somewhat subjective, but that isn’t to say that there aren’t measurable factors that CAN indicate why a film like this falls flat on a comedic level for most people who have enough braincells to question what they’re watching. For example, one of the biggest issues I see is the repetition of the type of comedy in these movies, to the point where it’s so predictable that I’ve created the definitive formula! Every single scene in these movies will have a variation of the following options: Mock some generalized group of people and use them for humiliating comedy at their expense, e.g. gay people, overweight people, or people with dwarfism. “Elen and Ann. Yeah, I do them too.” Have a stereotypical hot woman, mug the screen for no other reason than to show off her nearly-new body. Hmm, porn! Gross-out jokes also come often and regularly. We’re talking the most childish stuff, like shit jokes, fart jokes, someone being sick… Anything that’s supposed to be disgusting for disgusting’s sake. Of course, it goes without saying that slapstick humor is prevalent as always. If in doubt, have someone fall over, or get squashed, or something equally hilarious. We all know exactly what kind of comedy we’re talking about here. And finally, if all those brilliant comedic moments didn’t work, they have their ultimate move, their Smash Attack, their super-weapon, their ultimate card trick… The pop culture reference. What Friedberg and Seltzer have effectively done is weaponize references in a leech-like way, whereby arguably abusing parody and satire laws, they can shove in any recognizable property from the time and have them do something gross or “show their adult side” kind of thing. I’ve more to say about the reference humor a bit later, when it will be more relevant, because to be fair, it is the least prevalent by far in Date Movie. There are still countless, now embarrassingly out of date references plastered throughout the film, but at least it’s weighted the other way, as opposed to the movies just BEING references and literally nothing else. That’s not to say that there still aren’t plenty of those awkward look-a-like actors just doing impressions of other movie characters for no reason. Anyway, but my point is, when THESE are the only possible options for what can happen in EVERY scene, every single scene, it’s just a mix of these jokes. Why should I give a shit about any of it when it’s so predictable, and has no greater effect on character, or narrative, or excitement, or even comedy! To the extreme point where everything feels completely disconnected because of the stilted way they wrote this film, like an awkward string of SNL skits or something! If comedy doesn’t subvert or surprise you in any way, then all you really have left is people shitting all over each other and laughing at fat people falling down. “Oh, sorry.” Which CAN be funny now and again, it can catch you off-guard a couple of times. Hence why parodies and jokes just like this have existed on YouTube since its very creation. But the difference is, YouTube at its best is just strangers uploading goofs with their friends. It’s what you’d expect from amateur kids and 20-somethings. When you’re paying for a movie ticket, you’re handing over your money in return for what you hope to be professional storytellers to entertain you in some way. Tell you a tall tale to show you something you’ve never seen before. And no, showing me the biggest piece of shit ever put on the silver screen doesn’t count. To explore other people’s perspectives, or simply to make you feel something one way or another. Comedies like this are vacant, infinite hallways that exist for no real artistic or expressive merit. I feel like if anyone defends some of the comedy in these movies, then it’s actually kind of an insult to the talented writers who ARE able to craft a genuine, earned love. Because as funny as a fart, belch, or shit can be, even the biggest fans of this humor have to admit that it’s fleeting. You rarely look back at a fart joke and think “Wow, that fart joke was fucking clever. Like, that right there was a genuinely intelligent and thoughtful piece of comedy.” For me, I see making your audience giggle with über-cheap laughs in a movie like this as basically the genre equivalent of horror movies fake-startling the audience with unearned, not properly built-up jumpscares. It’s like a trick. Fast food, absolutely nothing of nutritional value junk. There’s nothing to it at all. It’s primay school-level humor. Another thing that really hurts these movies is that if a comedy fails at being funny, then it’s just significantly more sad than a drama, or horror movie, or whatever. It’s gone wrong. They can’t win sympathy points by being charming because of how abrasive and edgy their comedy is! “Mama! Stop pumping!” One thing I will say is that I think you could probably, maybe edit this movie down into a 25-minute long TV short that maybe could be mildly funny, but they insist on wasting your time with filler scenes dedicated to one or many of the bullshit, unfunny things from the Seltzer and the Fried Bean formula we already talked about. A good example of what I mean about how simple and brain-dead the comedy is, is how the film comes to a conclusion. The two leads have just fallen out after the predictable falling action. The months pass and the woman gets a message from the man to meet on a rooftop to reconsider their love. There’s an elongated joke about how they just keep missing each other ’cause of one of them taking the stairs and one of them taking the elevator. I kinda would’ve liked it if the film just ended here, after they couldn’t find each other, as a kind of subversion of how these types of movies always end, but instead, some dumb shit happens, and they wind up getting married and have the fairytale ending. The only point of it being so that it can set up why they head over to Skull Island so King Kong could kill Carmen Electra. Like… okay, I guess… But that ending is so fucking bad! At least if you end it on something less moronic and annoying, I wouldn’t feel so sour about sitting through the entire thing. But that’s how you end your- that’s what you leave people thinking about. That. There isn’t much else to say about Date Movie. A completely terrible piece of shit of a directorial debut, which is made double terrible to me by the fact that people describe these films as “spoofs” or “parodies”, which they really aren’t. What is the point or the commentary that makes it a spoof or parody? I guess it’d be for humor sake, but what is the humor about just having Napoleon Dynamite at the start of the movie just being Napoleon Dynamite? “GOSH!” It’s not your movie, you’re not doing anything, you’re not saying anything! It’s just a reference! The only value it has is so you can recognize it, then point at it and say “I know that!” Look, let me try my hardest, I’ll be as fair as I can. I’ll list a couple of positives. Considering I need to set the stage as to why this is the better of the three movies covered in this video. So the lead supporting actor, Adam Campbell, is really giving it his all despite how ridiculous he clearly knows it is. The same could be said for Eddie Griffin, who’s consistently kinda funny. “MAMA!” And weirdly enough, he is just about the only character that goes through an arc and learns something by the end. One kind of interesting gag they do in the movie is using stunt doubles that clearly look NOTHING like the actor they’re supposed to be filling. Sometimes even changing races. It’s just completely absurd and caught me off guard in a good way. It’s just dumb. At points, they do kinda nail that weird, nonsensical humor when they attempt it properly, but for every good joke like this, they instantly ruin it by having a cat puppet shit on a toilet for five hours! Or tasteless, childish, edgelord humor, or a pointless reference, or something gross… But you know, it’s because of the minor positives I’ve just mentioned that I can’t quite put this move as all that low in the Search for the Worst ranking. At least I could say something positive, no matter how many caveats came with it. I did laugh a fair few times and it went by quickly, at least compared to their next movie… EPIC… Movie. Hang on, we’re not talking about Aquaman. Epic Movie is when shit just got outta control. The synopsis for the movie reads: “The twisted minds of two of the six writers of Scary Movie- Tackle the biggest mega-blockbusters of all time in Epic Movie. You’ll notice that the description really helps NO ONE understand what the hell is happening in this movie. What’s the story? “Tackle the biggest mega-blockbusters of all time.” What do you even mean by “tackle”? Stealing the plots from like, eight different blockbusters and shoving them all together is not a fucking take on anything, is it? Epic Movie admits its own defeat by setting its own movie within the stories of other movies that were out at the time. The entire plot is nothing more than a string of references, with properties such as Willy Wonka, Nacho fucking Libre, Snakes on a Plane, and so on. There is so little going on in this movie that I noticed that the notes I took while watching it actually perfectly summarizes the plot with the perfect amount of detail the filmmakers intended, along with the appropiate amount of commentary from my end. Here we go. Four Orphans. The Da Vinci Code. Nacho Libre. Doritos product placement. Snakes on a Plane. Paris Hilton. X-Men. Women mugging the camera. Willy Wonka. Shit joke. Laying with your wardrobe. Kribbs. Mission: Impossible. Superman. Punk’d. Harry Potter. Pirates of the Caribbean. James Bond. Star Wars. Borat. Mel Gibson. X-Men again. Davy Jones puts on hip-hop and then record scratches. Star Wars again. The remote from Click. Borat again. Film finishes one hour and 19 minutes in. That’s the whole movie. There is nothing more to glean. That’s seriously the plot of the movie, that- that’s what happens. I guess because Date Movie made over 80 million dollars worldwide from a 20 million budget, they were given the creative freedom to make what they really wanted, and this shit, this simpleton, barren, parasite of a movie is what they wasted 20 million dollars on putting together. These films must be the reason I’ve always been so picky about reference humor in movies and TV. I see the lazy fourth wall breaks that remind me of the Deadpool movies. “That’s pretty much the plot of Superman Returns.” “Pretty much, yeah…” I see the pointless references to other movies that are like those fucking awful YouTube animations people make of trace superhero artwork fighting each other. There’s this pit so many comedic properties fall into. Family Guy, Big Mouth, Deadpool, Teen Titans Go! The LEGO Movie 2 did it even. “Oooh, reference!” Where the writing can be so lazy that characters completely ruin your immersion, by either breaking the fourth wall for no reason, or sometimes addressing the audience in ways that really aren’t as clever as they act like they’re being. “There you, in your home on the electrical watching this…” Once upon a time it was new and fresh, but it ain’t smart or clever anymore! Everyone is doing it now! This shtick is getting old! I remember reading about the struggle Edgar Wright had getting Shaun of the Dead made, and through the hard work and success of the movie, they were then able to take the money and invest it into a project that they actually cared about and wanted to make. And then they made Hot Fuzz, which is a masterpiece. ‘Cause that was made by people who care about what they’re doing. Epic Movie is the opposite, the complete opposite in every single way. The best way I can describe how shitty Epic Movie is, is with a simple question. Would you be okay with watching a stretched-out hour and 20 minute long feature-length movie based on those awful “How It Should Have Ended” videos, but instead of traced pivot animation, they’re dickheads dressed up as the characters and they’re a bit more edgy and offensive. We’re talking about the most obvious Reddit front page throwaway comments that everyone has when they’re watching these stupid blockbusters. Wouldn’t it be funny if one of the kids in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe licked a post and got her tongue stuck? ‘Cause it’s cold and that’s what happens! LOL how about that scene from Superman where the bullet goes into his eye, but imagine if it actually went into his eye LOL! This is playground stuff that is barely funny to even joke about with your friends, let alone shamble into a script that’s supposed to be a movie for us to pay for! “Harry likes to get wasted, then show off his Sorcerer Stones.” I hate this fucking film! You can feel the contempt behind it, there’s no passion here! Besides some actors who are clearly having a good time while making it, but I’m afraid I didn’t have a good time watching it. But even then, seeing actors like Crispin Glover, basically every woman or man who has stripped for the camera, or Tony Cox or whoever… completely humiliate themselves for this! For this! It honestly makes me sad! Like… this is gonna be your legacy, man! Was the money worth it to completely degrade yourself and be a laughing stock to millions of people? “A ghetto booty. I… like a lot of junk in the trunk.” You can argue about that in the comments, I don’t have the answer to that one right now. And even after all that, the worst is yet to come… This is only the second batch of low-hanging fruit that these assholes crouched down to pick up. If you descend even lower, you’ll find a fruit so sour, that they say it’ll drive you mad if you interact with it. And that sour fruit is called… Diaster Movie. I guess the joke is that they know it’s… a disaster? Whatever… Here we go again! Out of every film I’ve ever covered on the show, this is the worst one! I mean it this time. I’m just saying it right now, and I’m sure this will come up yet again at some point in the future when I discover something even worse, god forbid. But for now, as I’m recording this, on the date that this was uploaded, this is the worst piece of shit film I’ve ever seen at the 60-plus movies I’ve made these videos on over the years. Even with how much I hate the shark movies, F the Prom and the Garbage Pail Kids Movie, this is the most deserving of the worst spot that I can think of. It’s like the directors looked at how fucking terrible they made Epic Movie, and how negative the response was, and they still looked at each other and decided to double down. “No, we didn’t make it shitty enough. That’s where we went wrong.” “We need to challenge ourselves to ensure that we have even less going on than in Epic Movie,” and fucking nothing happened in that one either. Some people get pissed at me when I have something like Suicide Squad, a huge, big-budget blockbuster as so low on my Search for the Worst list. Claiming that it’s somehow less fair because they have money so they’re in a different league. And yes, these multimillion-dollar budget movies are for sure in a different league, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be equally as shitty as the smaller stuff. If anything, these “PROFESSIONALS” making films this bad with the platform, funding and control they have is even worse to me than some cute fuck-up like Robot Monster could ever be. It shows a complete lack of respect for themselves as artists, or even for the audience. They knew they could get away with the laziest humor, the most obtuse, forced references… “God, you’re such a douche!” And horrendously edgy, offensive humor. “You’re a dude?!” “I’m a tranny. I thought you knew!” Everything that makes a movie bad is in Disaster Movie and more. I’m so glad that this is the film that is somewhat agreed upon as being one of the worst of all time. Out of all the bickering, gate-keeping and disagreements that happen in the online cinephile community, THIS is the one thing everyone can agree on. And in a way, that’s a beautiful thing. “Whatever…” If I’ll give Epic Movie and Date Movie any compliment over Disaster Movie, is that they don’t tend to linger around in one location for like 20-plus minute periods, where jokes are dragged on and on and nothing is allowed to continue until EVERY possible droplet of humor is sucked from the surroundings. They all still have gags that go on for far too long, but the entirety of Disaster Movie takes place in only a handful of locations, and it’s exhausting me seconds into starting it! It’s like their films have a deep-rooted reference comedy virus, that is been gradually infecting their work the longer they go on, making their movies more reference than movies at this point. “Oh my god! Hannah Montana’s dead!” It opens in that other film that came out around the time, 10,000 BC, where as you’ve probably come to expect by now, gradually, various different references are listed off one by one. These guys still haven’t gotten tired of this. This shit is so bad, it’s what I imagine the result would be if the incompetent, moronic, bumbling, buffoonish, man-children characters from Step Brothers would make if they were given the chance to make a movie. So effectively, the plot of the film is the result of googling “movies 2008”. You could genuinely write one of these films in an afternoon. Batman, Iron Man, The Hulk, Wanted, even my boy Po from Kung Fu Panda wasn’t safe. So just throw it in there. I noticed that in the trivia for this that a fair amount of the movies referenced were not even released at the time! So they literally used trailer footage to influence the creation of their own movie. This is what I mean about their leech-like creative process. It’s hard to argue that it’s truly transformative what they’re doing. Just steal someone else’s character and use it in marketing without any sort of work or commentary. It has the laziest pacing and progression. Scenes just go on and on and on. And this movie isn’t long, but my god, do you feel every second of footage. Whatever the cheapest possible gag is, based on the references, is what most scenes are dedicated to. Out of pure interest, I edited out every scene in the movie that was dedicated to nothing more than a reference, and the final runtime was an astonishing 31 minutes and 30 seconds! And that was with me being generous too. That leaves about one hour of the movie being completely dedicated to non-sequitur references, and 30 minutes being whatever else is left from that joke cycle that we talked about earlier! The longest time the film can go without making a new reference is four minutes, 20 seconds… You genuinely can’t make this up. Are they fucking with us? They must know how bad this is. “HEE HEE! OOOOW!” As is the rule at this point, not one of the references isn’t service of anything with some kind of relevance, so minutes are dedicated to headache-inducing sequences where irrelevant movie characters do whatever they’re known for, and then either die, are gross in some way, or behave in a cartoonish caricature that the directors thought was hilarious enough to dedicate screentime to. At the very least with something like Date Movie, the film has a basic structural backbone of a simple romantic comedy with the ups and downs that come with the genre to fall back on. I keep saying it’s not good, but it’s something! It shows a basic understanding of how to tell a story that is built up around characters and how they play off each other. Instead of here, where I guess the idea is that they’re supposed to be spoofing those overblown disaster movies? And even if they are, what do properties like Kung Fu Panda or Alvin and the Chipmunks have to do with disaster movies anyway? Oh, hang on, I forgot. …Reference? But for some reason, instead of commiting to their own premise that THEY chose, they just repeat the similar dynamic that the main characters in Date Movie have! Except here, we somehow have EVEN LESS development, or setups and punchlines, and a lead guy whose only character trait is that he can’t say “I love you” back to his girlfriend despite genuinely loving her. That’s it, that’s all- that’s all that’s happening. The film is more interested in crushing Kim Kardashian under a meteor, or having Alvin and the Chipmunks bite someone on the dick, or parading Tony Cox around yet again with the joke, is that he has dwarfism, and isn’t that different, so let’s point and laugh at him for being different. All of their humor is like that, it’s always at the expense of any kind of person that isn’t exactly like them! Even Seth MacFarlane would look at this shit and say they went too far. And “A Million Ways to Die in the West” is one of the worst comedies I’ve ever seen. No exaggeration. The problematic aspect of this blunt, edgy reference humor is that it’s not in reverence to the films they’re homaging. It really feels like the directors despise all the movies they’re spoofing. The worst example of this is when they have the nerve to mock the film “Juno” for having overly-written dialogue, which, whether you think it’s true or not, is so ironic and rich coming from THESE fucking guys. And it makes you wanna throw something sharp at the screen. “That’s because I speak in overly-written, clever for clever’s sake quips. Ugh.” You know what? At least Juno was an actual watchable movie with something to say. The cockiness and snide smugness radiates in all of these guys’ movies. It’s palpable! There’s no humility there. At this point in these films, and- and this backs up my theory about the reference virus spreading like a plague through anything these guys touch. They’re so far down the reference rabbit hole that one of the main characters is literally just Kim Kardashian! Because that’s a reference to something popular, who they show off like she’s a pet or something. It’s all very demeaning. And if I’m being honest, for the time in the movie that Kim K is present before she’s squashed, she’s the only slightly entertaining thing because her performance is so incredibly bad. So next-level terrible that her total incompetence is epic in scope to watch! “Oh my god, Hannah Montana is really Miley Cyrus!” If I was her, I’d be more scared about my kids finding out about this fucking movie, over the sex tape that made her famous. “That was a rump shaker…” One sad thing to note is that the editing and production deteriorates so much over this trilogy. Date Movie is relatively cinematic in comparison to Epic Movie, which is more cheap, TV level. But Disaster Movie? That’s just YouTube level. The editing particularly devolves along with the movies. So by the time you arrive at Disaster Movie, it feels like you’re watching a bad YouTuber who’s just started their channel! There’s even a scene that basically becomes an Epic Rap Battles of History video, if you needed any more evidence… Having to sit down and write about this shit, and try and describe it really highlights to me how juvenile this shit is. And trust me, I’m the first to enjoy a dumb piece of childish, absurdist humor, like Spongebob or the legendary Madagascar series. I guess what I’m trying to say is that this film has absolutely no point in existing, none at all. Beside from being this disgusting, chlorine product for people who genuinely don’t care to lap up, or, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was some kind of tax write-off. I’ve tried my best to explain why this film is so bad, and if you still don’t believe me, just get your hands on it and see for yourself. I challenge you to find something good about this film and tweet it at me. You won’t be able to. The lengths some people will go to make money in the movie business is so desperate and vapid that it makes this film hard to watch. They’re the bottom feeders of the film industry. They’re those little fish that eat your dead skin that’s coming off. That’s their equivalents as filmmakers. I feel intense second-hand embarrassment for every crew member involved in making these. Sure, a paycheck is a paycheck, but some of this stuff is too demeaning to be worth it. For me anyway, I’m sure some may differ. The ultimate issue though, is that there is simply nothing worse than a comedy that has nothing to laugh at. I genuinely feel dirty watching Disaster Movie. It feels like you’re watching a porno that’s a little bit too commited to the story. As of this video, Disaster Movie is now the lowest-rated film in the Search for the Worst ranking list. I hate this fucking movie. It’s insulting, and I can normally appreciate edgy or offensive humor when it’s done right. It’s not like that’s the part that’s bothering me. It just does a piss-poor job at executing any intent it might’ve once had. I’M DEAD. I can’t believe I did that, I actually covered THESE movies. It had to be done eventually, I suppose. I hope you found some worthwhile commentary within my ramblings and could see where I was coming from. Make sure you let me know your thoughts on the new ranking and how you feel about these movies in the comments or on my Reddit. I suppose now is the part where I used to have that randomized wheel to decide what the next movie in the series would be, but I kind of think it’ll be more fun to let YOU watching decide. If you press the colored button in the corner of the video, you can vote on what movie you want to see me cover next. My life is in your hands here, so… Make it count. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna gather my hilarious references, mock someone with dwarfism, gawk at a hot woman and do a big, fat shit in the toilet. I’ll see you next time, subscribe for more videos. BYEEE!

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  1. “That’s primary school level humor.” Hey that’s an insult to kids. At least they’re creative in their jokes even if they suck.

  2. The only good part of those movies are the Chipmunk bit and even that went on too long after they ended the death metal song.

    And hey! That stunt double gag was done in Space Balls!

  3. I actually liked Date Movie and Epic Movie when they came out. They are terrible but even as a kid I knew it and enjoyed them because shitty practical effects always make me laugh (and also those obviously incorrect stunt doubles) I saw Date Movie in theaters and rented Epic Movie and Disaster Movie from Blockbuster (RIP). But though I liked the first 2 EVEN I COULDN'T STAND DISASTER MOVIE! That felt so cheap.

  4. I liked the scary movie movies they made but they got worse with time. I used to like epic movie and disaster movie at first but they got awful the more I watched them and realized they were trash and dumb. When I was younger I found these movies funny but they are garbage. I thought meet the Spartans was okay but they were not great movies at all. They're mostly repetitive and uncreative at times. I tried vampires suck because I hated twilight. But sadly vampires suck wasn't all that funny either it was awkward and stupid at best and it was terrible. I tried to like these movies I really did. But I think only the scary movie movies were okay and only the first two. The rest of these films sucked.

  5. Thankfully, while these guys are SOMEHOW still working, they’re not as prevalent as before. Hell, their last three “movies” barely even got a release, and I’m willing to let their Star Wars “parody” is probably never going to see the light of day.

  6. i think it says a lot about these films when i didn't even notice when you stopped taking about Epic Movie and started talking about Disaster Movie

  7. these movies are basically a summary of the 2000's. if someone ever asked what it was like just show them these movies

  8. Watching the Date Movie bit, I was terrified for a moment because one of the actors looked for all the world like Chadwick Boseman.

  9. i feel like they have some non-artistic historical value sheerly as compilations of references to everything popular in a particular 6 month period. like if there was a movie like this that contained every popular reference from 1997 it might be interesting to go back and see what was going on in society at that point

  10. Oh jeeze these movies are so bad I drank alcohol the whole time to get through that slop of crap movies.
    And that aint no joke either. o.O

  11. You're not supposed to take these movies seriously, what makes them good is that they are so random., had a good laugh when i was 14 when they were released, very similiar to the Scary Movie films. If you want proper comedy, checkout How High, Harold and Kumar and a few others. It really depends on your age group, these movies were made for a younger audience in mind when this type of humour was widely popular. Everyone didn't have internet to enjoy youtube and such and had to enjoy memes and humour from movies like those instead. You don't watch movies like "Machine girl" seriously either, but you watch it for its random gore and fountains of blood.

  12. I cracked the code the only good part about the disaster movie is after you painfully watched it the relief of knowing it won't hurt anybody anymore because you burn it

  13. Hey now. You do not lump Deadpool in with Big Mouth and Teen Titans Go. That's an unsub worthy offense right there. You're on thin ice you accented git.

  14. Am I the only one who sort of wishes that these two failures would each swallow some razor wire and then proceed to floss themselves to death?

  15. A Million Ways to Die in the West was a good movie. Your taste in comedy is garbage, and your thin skin regarding groups that you aren't even a part of is so tiring I had to take a nap after watching this.

  16. I took a girl out on a date to see 'Epic Movie' and I laughed like an idiot at the bingo wings scene. It didn't last long.

  17. You should review the smosh movie. I once saw it on Netflix. I dont know how they made a movie that looked worse than YouTube but it was one of the worst movies i have ever seen…

  18. You SUCK! JK. Funny, and your lack of enthusiasm for fart jokes, shit jokes, or bodily humiliation?? I mean, c'mon. FARTS.

  19. Me: oh goodness Alex this can't possibly be the worst thing ever
    Movie: transphobic slur
    Me: I give up on humanity

  20. When are they gonna stop making "Scary Movie"-s without the Wayans, they suck!

    -Marlon Wayans in the "A Haunted House 2" xD

  21. Freidberg and Seltzer make Adam Sandler look like Lars Von Trier.

    They told us exactly why we should hate them when they described their 'brand' of comedy. Basically they used the example of remember in GOODFELLAS when Pesci is getting upset and he says "Am I a clown? Am I here to amuse you?", then you cut to him and he's dressed as a clown. That's their idea of comedy.

  22. Its like he tackled a bunch of movies that nobody went to see for the story and then did nothing but complain about the lack of story and his disdain for slapstick and edgy jokes. Honestly this video is annoying and condescending. Do better.

  23. I kinda actually like Scary Movie for some reason, it really made me laugh most of the movie. Doesn't apply to the rest of the "scary movies", though.

  24. You should make a video about HISHE. You threw a lot of shade at them in this video, and I’d like to see you elaborate on that

  25. I remember watching disaster movie at a 10th (or 11th I can't remember) birthday party after the presents were opened. I remember laughing a few times, but it wasn't that entertaining. So when my mum picked me up during the movie I wasnt that sad. Hadn't thought about it seriously since that day.
    Great vid Alex and I hope you didn't suffer too much watching this painful trilogy.

  26. I used to find these types of movies hilarious when I was in elementary & middle school. Sometime after starting high school & then college I realized how god awful they really are.

    I will say this about Disaster Movie though, the uncensored version of the ending made me laugh some of the hardest I ever had laughed when I was in 8th grade (1.5 years after it hit theaters), and when I found out the Sarah Silverman song it was referencing I was glad it existed for that very reason.

    Also, the fish that eat dead skin are doing you a favor and keeping your feet healthy, unlike the makers of these “movies”.

  27. Fun story: When I was young (around age 6 to 11) me and my mum went to the cinema at least three times a month and would watch something. I would always pick a kids film and because I didn't really mind what we saw and my mum would sometimes accompany me to see a 12A+ (You can see if you're under 12 if accompanied by an adult) as an excuse to go see the new rom com or something, which I didn't mind they were enjoyable. As I got older I wanted to lead the way and said I'd pick the older movie this time, so we saw Epic Movie when I was 11 and with my older brother (I may be wrong as Google says it was a 15, but I remember seeing it before I started secondary school so I must have been 11 tops). We talk about from time to time how bad a movie that was and how that stopped us going to the cinema together for a bit, but we rewatched it recently as a gag. Still a bad film (and I began taking my mum again, she loved Rocketman.)

  28. IHE: "No one ever goes back and says: Wow, that fart joke was clever, that right there was a genuinely thoughtful and intelligent piece of comedy"
    Me: Thinks back to Austin Powers 3. You know the one.

  29. 17:53 That's a really perfect comparison, especially since HISHE's quality has gone down the drain considerably.

  30. The only thing I disagree with is the criticism of fourth wall breaking in Deadpool, it's a solidified character trait he's been known for, for years. It's not something they did for cheap laughs though considering it's rampant overuse I don't blame you for the presumption. Love your vids man! <3

  31. I'm actually pretty proud to have never watched a single one of these. My rule is simple, if the trailer isn't funny, the movie won't be.

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