What a guy! What a personality! He looks fabulous! Yeah! But you’re so secretive!! You’ve met him twice and you’re telling me now when you’re going in your third date. I thought I was your best friend! I wasn’t sure, sweetheart. Frankly, I’m still not sure. But the first time we met the vibes were magical! He’s a very genuine guy! He takes interest in me and notices so much about me! Notices so much about you! Like? Like this time when we met he said the earrings I had worn the last time looked great on me! I was amazed that he remembered my earrings! But then I thought, maybe he’s lying So I asked him, ‘Which earrings?’ ‘I don’t remember!’ He described them in detail! Red in color, long! Wow! I was really impressed with the guy! Men don’t usually notice these things. Exactly. Could he be gay? How can he be gay? Why not? He notices earrings. Isn’t that odd? He’s on a matchmaking website, Richa. to marry a woman! Then how can he be gay? Aha! How are you so sure? If you have sex with him make sure you use protection. Shut up Richa! What? Better safe than sorry! OK. We’ve only met twice! I’m sure you’ve kissed though. No, we haven’t. You haven’t? Derek! Richa! Give me the phone! Tell me, tell me quick! Richa, give me the phone! Tell me quick. Did you kiss? We didn’t kiss, Richa! Give me the phone. Ok! Two dates and you didn’t kiss? They weren’t dates. Richa, give me the phone. I’ll take the call. No! I’ll spank you! I’ll take the call. Richa, I’ll spank you. No! I”ll take the call. No, Richa! No. Please! Richa, he’ll hang up. Hi Derek! Hi Tanya. Sorry. I was in the shower. It’s OK. Where have you reached? Should I leave? No, Tanya. I’m at work. It will take time. They are sending me to Bangalore for some work. There’s a briefing at six about that. And there’s my appraisal too. So, we are meeting today, right? Today seems difficult. We can meet a little later today. I’m OK with that. I have no clue what time they’ll let me leave today. Some other day? And yeah there’s one more thing, Tanya. Yeah Tanya you’re a nice girl You’re very beautiful, smart, intelligent. Thank you. I think you’re very sweet. I really like talking to you. I’m not sure how I should say this. Go on. I don’t see myself marrying you, Tanya. You said I’m beautiful, smart, intelligent and you like talking to me. Right? Yeah. If I’m all that, what’s the problem? Tanya, the problem is that I can’t see us getting married. For marriage and kids, you need to feel that strongly about someone. You know.. Wedding bells must go off in the heart! We’ve only met twice but don’t you think you’re deciding too soon? I’m being honest, Tanya. Is there someone else in your life? You can tell me. It’s OK. No, Tanya. I’m I’m single. Very much so. OK. Are you free tomorrow? Can we meet tomorrow? I don’t know. My team is waiting for me. I have to go. OK. Bye. Take care. You take care too. Let’s meet next week. OK? Let’s talk.. I think he’s scared of commitment. And when some guy says ‘Let’s talk later’ it really pisses me off. When is ‘later’? After a day, a week, a month? And who will call? Him or me? Why can’t guys be transparent?? And he said ‘Take care’. Who says ‘Take care’ unless you know there’s still some emotional involvement. Let it go, Tanya. Should I message him on Whatsapp? No. Wait till tomorrow. Maybe he’ll message you. OK. Tanya! Just checking his ‘last seen’ on Whatsapp. What happened? What the fuck! He blocked me on Whatsapp! Blocked you? and on Facebook too! What does he think? I’m going to stalk him? Check if his profile is visible to you. It’s visible. Let it go. You know, you’ll get a guy better than him. It’s all about luck. Of course, I’ll get a better guy than him. That’s what I said. No. You said ‘luck’. There’s no such thing as ‘luck’. We make our own luck! Hmm. I wish that was true. That is true. Now, watch what I do. You’re going to get him bumped off? He said I don’t ring his bell. I’m going to knock him off his high horse. Leave it, Tanya. Don’t needle him. I’m going to make his life miserable. Why are we waiting here? There’s no one here. Are you expecting someone? You remember that loser? Which one? You know so many. Ok. Derek! That guy from the matchmaking website. Yes! You’re still fixated on him. It’s been two weeks now. Move on, now! I made a fake profile on a dating app. Here he comes! Oh! So, that’s how you knock him off his high horse. Right. Let’s leave then. He’s going to here for a while. We have better things to do. So, it’s done. Done? Why, sweetheart? This is just the beginning. He’s there on every matchmaking website. Computer science grad, works for top IT firm, loves dogs, traveling, ambitious blah, blah, blah, blah He’s on a dating app too. wearing a tight tee shirt and sunglasses. Okay. So you.. Every profile is an opportunity. He falls for it every time! Every time! New profile, new number, hot picture. Guys are easy to fool. How long will we torture the poor guy? Let’s end this here. It could get us into trouble. And if he complains to the cops we’ll be in a soup. Relax! What will be tell the cops? That his date didn’t show up? The cops will say, ‘Big deal! Go home sonny boy!’ But let’s not take this too far. Let’s fool him once more. He’s on dating apps, trying to seduce women. We must help him get laid. I don’t know Tanya. Isn’t this going too far? C’mon. It’ll be fun. This is the last time. No more after this. I promise you. But he’ll fall for it again? We’ll have to work harder this time It’ll take a little longer but it’s the last time. so it has to be special. It’s so good to talk to you finally after all that chat, Zenslava. My name is Zvenislava. Not Zenslava. Zenislava? No! Can I call you Zen? No. If you cannot pronounce my name properly I don’t want to know you. Goodbye! Oh! I’m sorry! Wait wait wait wait wait! Zvenislava Right? Right! You’re a quick learner. And you’re very beautiful Zvenislava. Everyone tells me that. You’re beautiful. You’re hot. I’m bored of hearing it. I’m a model. What do you expect? A woman likes to be appreciated for her brains also. Not just for her body. Yes. Of course. So Can we meet today if you’re free? Sure. I would like that very much. Ok. Then, where do you stay? What is this place? Malad, they call it. Malad? It’s like three hours from here. Is it? It’s OK if we don’t meet. I don’t really care. I’ve very busy anyway. going to gym, giving auditions. Do you come to South Bombay? No. I don’t move out much. Only for work. It’s so hot! All the time I’m home I only wear a bikini because it’s too bloody hot to wear anything else. Maybe I can come there tomorrow. Tomorrow? Tomorrow I go to Goa. Shoot for music video. Come back next week or the week after that. We can meet today or after I come back. Today I have a meeting with my boss. You can still meet me. What do I tell my boss? Tell him to go and fuck himself. I would love to do that but I would lose my job. Tomorrow my flight is at 1 pm. We can meet in the morning. Okay. Good. Tomorrow. Where? Meet me at cafe. Make sure you are on time. I hate guys who make me wait. If you late, I leave. No, no, no, no! I’ll be on time! I’ll be on time. Good! Note down the address. 1441 Pizzeria, Malad west. You’re bleeding. OK. It’s just not my lucky day. Do you believe in luck? I do. You’re bleeding. OK. It’s just not my lucky day. Do you believe in luck? I do.