Diego the Tortoise Retires After Helping to Reproduce 2,000+ Baby Tortoises | The Daily Show


For the Galápagos tortoises,
numbers are an issue they won’t have to worry about
for a while, and it’s all thanks to one hero. A giant tortoise
credited with saving a species is being returned to its home
in the wild. Diego,
a Galápagos giant tortoise, is jokingly called a playboy,
because he spent 40 years helping
to repopulate his species. When he started in the program,
he was one of two males and 12 females left
on the island. Now there are more than 2,000. -WOMAN 2: Oh!
-WOMAN: Well done, Diego. WOMAN 2:
Yeah. WOMAN: Experts estimate
40% of those tortoises are related to him. Now he’s headed
to his native island of Espanola in March to retire, ’cause he’s exhausted! (laughter) (cheers and applause) Thank you for your service,
Diego. This is an amazing story. This hero turtle
turned the population of less than 20 tortoises
into 2,000! Just look at him
in the water there, huh? -Cooling his balls off.
-(laughter) You earned it, buddy! And let this be a lesson
to kids out there. If someone tells you to go out
and practice safe sex, you tell them, “No, I want to be
like Diego the (bleep) turtle!” (laughter) (applause) No, I’m joking.
Safe sex, safe sex. I’m joking. Come on. I’ve got to be honest. You know,
when I first heard this story, Diego reminded me of those uncles in the hood
that you’d hear about. You know, where people
would be chatting like, “You heard how many kids
Diego got? 2,000! -“For real?”
-“For real!” I heard he ran away to an island
to avoid child support. (laughter) Also, I love how Diego
is the hero of the story and not the females,
who actually gave birth -to 2,000 babies!
-(cheering, applause) Who’s running this,
the Oscar voters? Now, look, jokes aside, Diego
did help repopulate the species, but he wasn’t
the only turtle responsible for fathering the 2,000 kids. Yeah, there was another turtle
who helped Diego out, and he retired to the Senate.

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