Drive’n Movies reviews the new Men In Black International Movie

Drive’n Movies reviews the new Men In Black International Movie


Who remembers the theme song to Men in Black? Here comes the Men in Black!
[sung] Galaxy Defenders!
[sung] Take it away Sam! If there’s something strange, and it don’t look good,
[sung] Taking it back! No, I don’t remember the theme song at all. That was definitely Ghostbusters. That was a nice attempt. Welcome to Drive’n Movies. We’re gonna introduce ourselves because I always forget to do that and I’m remembering to do that right now. I’m Colton! I’m Molly! I’m Sam! And we’re going to go see Men in Black International. Do you think that Will Smith did a song for
this movie even though he’s not in it? I don’t know. You did say he did do a song in Aladdin, right? He did do a so- listen,
I think it’s in Will Smith’s like rider it’s in his contract that if he’s in a
movie he’s got to do a song for it. I don’t remember the first ones that well.
I remember like this third one because Jemaine was the villain. Boris the animal. He was “Just Boris.” “Just Boris.” An I love Jemaine, so much. I really loved the Men in Black movie when I was younger. I did too! It was the very first PG-13 movie that I ever saw. The first Men in Black movie. “More Water.” “More Sugar.” Give me, sugar. In water. Man, Vincent D’Onofrio in that
movie, I always forget that’s him. I was telling Molly earlier I did not know
that was him until like, 2 weeks ago. And then, what about the second one? Sir Tommy Lee Jones, works at the post office. And he lost his memories cause he quit the job after they hired J. Oh yeaht here’s a whole reveal. Then they have to go back and get him cause he’s the only one who can save the world and solve the mystery. Yeah, stopt he twin peaks woman from Yeah Donna from Twin Peaks she was like the sexy tentacle lady. Johnny Knoxville was like one of her tentacles? He had a head and then he had a second head who talked like this! You should get one of those Sam. Like a second appendage head. A second Sam head. I guess I could do this! If the Men in Black universe is real, who do we know that’s absolutely an alien? What do you mean.. F*&^. I I thought I had my sunglasses in here. What are those? These are my like old glasses. When you said “these are my old glasses” I thought you just meant these are for when I want to look like an old man. It’s for when I want to drive slowly on
the interstate. Alright then who who we know is definitely an alien? What if Alex Jones is an alien and everything he’s saying is actually true? What if the water IS turning the frogs gay? That’s fine, frogs can be gay. All of Portland Oregon. Geez Paul Rudd he’s just like too charming. Yeah he doesn’t age either. He doesn’t age, he’s too charming Keanu Reeves too. Jeff Goldblum! Jeff Goldblum’s like some alien Emperor who’s like come to slum it you know. he’s his Rumspringa on earth or something. I was really looking forward to America reprising his role as Awesome, but they’re leaving the country. Do aliens abroad do they have accents and stuff like that? Are we gonna have some french aliens? Well if you think about it the aliens in these movies have always had accents from their hometowns. Their home town, their home planets. I guess that’s like why I guess it’s
like why it was in New York it’s like this melting pot of like everybody else. They like represent your like “alien” So I think that, listen. I love Men in Black,
I think the chemistry’s there. I am ready for Men in Black 4. Men in
Black International. I think it’s going to return to form. I’m a litlle scared. We’re gonna have a great time. it’s gonna be awesome. I’m ready. I’m ready! It is going to be the best movie of the
summer! As of June 15th we call it right now, Men in Black international Movie OF THE SUMMER! All right Molly so would you rather have
dinner with Chris Hemsworth or Tessa Thompson? Tessa Thompson! Tessa Thompson? Hands down. With Chris Hemsworth I was looking at his face and all that I could think about is symmetry. Was it like, not symmetrical? No it was symetrical, like too symmetrical. Cause they say that’s what like makes Colton, that’s a pen. Colton that’s, that’s not gonna… Neuralyzers aren’t real Colton. It’s not real Colton. It’s just a movie. Oh, oh no. I JUST WANT TO FORGET! No nnononono! I just wanna forgeeeeeeetttttttt! ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG That was bad, I hated it. All right listen here this fucking movie, This sh- right here okay not
only was that the worst movie I’ve seen all year, That honest-to-goodness this is
not exaggerating for the show this is nothing that might be one of the worst movies I feel I’ve ever seen. Period. full stop. F Gary Gray is the director and we know he’s
not an incompetent filmmaker so why did this movie especially like in that
first half hour man, Why did this movie feel like a bad student
film If you take the part where you have Molly, The main character, And you have this character who saw the Men in Black when they were young and didn’t get neuralyzed and wants to find them, That’s a good movie. Yeah, could be interesting. That would have been a great movie. BUT That was 20 minutes of the movie. If that! They just, They just… What even happened? That’s why like I don’t know
why Colton was so determined to neuralyze himself because if you like
take like a 20 minute nap there’s no way you’re gonna remember that movie anyway. I don’t I don’t, It’s just not funny. It was not funny. There were no moments for like humor to get to breathe or anything distinctive or interesting You think about the first Men in Black was like how
kind of like you said like “More Sugar” “More Water” with all of the f-
the cockroach stuff how like like just like memorable that was an interesting
and how it was just him and the little dog that talks like all the sort
of stuff all things are really memorable about the franchise going down the doors, all that sort of stuff, NOTHING in that movie was memorable. It’s not the actresses fault but it’s just like
there’s no like remembering Will Smith like goofy bravado or any of that sort of stuff. There’s NOTHING there. It feels like they shot this movie over a weekend. And so like I mean cuz
that yeah cuz the initial thrust of the film is like this is like Molly said she
saw aliens she was young she did get neuralyzed she spent her entire life
since then trying to find her way into this organization of people who deal
with aliens she’s fascinated by it and then she finds it about five minutes in
and then she becomes an agent and that’s done! And now it’s the rest of the movie
is her and Chris Hemsworth going from location to location no idea what’s happening, they keep talking about the threat- they keep they keep talking
about the hive is this like threat and I guess there’s sort of a fake-out sort of
with that but like you don’t understand the rules of like What do these aliens
really do? Do like you know we never get to see or understand any of this stuff
that the characters are talking about throughout the film. Also and this is
WHERE WERE THE ALIENS? They’re like three aliens in this movie! They tried to do too much Like tell too much in a story. The old Men in Black movies the storyline to me is pretty simple, right? It’s not- There’s not
very much characters like their character stakes in terms of like, they would get hurt
but there’s very little like they weren’t trying to like overcome some like Daddy
issue or like something like personal issues about themselves it was just like
they were just kind of there. The actual plot line itself is fairly simple and not “a lot” happens actually. And this movie like, the plot was way too complicated and way too much was trying to happen… Yeah that was my reaction exactly
like the whole time. Just like “What?” The number of times I can just threw my
hands up just like what is happening? I would just pat his thigh.
Man oh man I was I was sighing a lot. I wanted that entire theater to know how upset I was. [deep sigh] My ultimate absolute cardinal sin of a movie is just being confusing. Or just being like who cares? Why is this happening? F- this. G- dammit. Moving from thing to thing without any reason why, Which this movie did. This movie also like despite packing in too much it was also at the same time nothing was happening ever. Like it was just boring and to me like boring movies suck but being boring is not the Cardinal
be-all-to-end-all scene but I knew leaving this movie I’m like “Colton’s gonna want to burn the theater down.” because this is THE most boring movie. Yeah I mean see to me a movie can be confusing a movie can be confusing and make no sense
it can be bad and all that jazz whatever See that’s MY cardinal sin if a
movie is boring that’s it game over. I mean and I think maybe I had one genuine
laugh at one point. I didn’t laugh once, I didn’t laugh at anything. And you know who else didn’t laugh? The
entire theater except for like for four moments. like that theater was quiet. I don;t think anyone liked this movie. I don’t know who this is for. Like comatose patients? You know what the problem is? What’s that? There was no America, There was no Americas! There was no Will Smith, There was no Tommy Lee Jones. and yeah. And until like the 45-minute mark in the
movie I was just like “Who is this movie about?” Because they don’t you know they
open with like Tessa they well actually they open on Chris Hemsworth. That was such a weird opening scene. It as a weird opening yeah. And just cutting away from it, i mean it makes sense in like the last 5 minutes. But still like “you opened with this?” There’s no stakes in that scene, it’s just boring. I looked at my watch like, 10 or 15 times. I kept looking over at Colton like “What time is it now?” The viewers- Don’t go see it., Please stay away. Don’t give it money. You know what we need. What? We need new movies. We need some people to make some fresh movies. We need some fresh movies. ah we need We need some fresh new franchises to make now so then we could remake THOSE in 20 years. There ya go! Holywood-that’s proofing Hollywood that’s what you gotta do. Well, lets go drink bleach. What? let’s never- That’s how I forget what happened. Let’s never see a movie again. Oh no! No! Show’s over. Aw dammit the door got ME this time! Ow! f- you door!

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