Edie Falco Has A Special Relationship With The Cops In Her New York Neighborhood


LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CHILDREN
OF ALL AGES, MY FIRST GUEST IS THE EMMY
AWARD-WINNING ACTRESS YOU KNOW FROM “THE SOPRANOS,” “NURSE
JACKIE,” AND “OZ.” PLEASE WELCOME TO “THE LATE
SHOW,” EDIE FALCO. ♪ OH, EDIE FALCO
EDIE FALCO ♪( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).>>Stephen: EDIE FALCO. NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.>>NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.>>Stephen: YOU KNOW, I AM A
FAN, I THINK AS I TOLD YOU SIX YEARS IN 2014 WHEN YOU WERE ON
THE OLD GIG–>>SO THAT HASN’T GONE AWAY.>>Stephen: HAS NOT GONE AWAY. STILL A FAN.>>THAT’S GOOD.>>Stephen: SIX YEARS. HOW HAVE THE LAST SIX YEARS BEEN
FOR YOU? WHAT’S GOING ON?>>OH, NOT MUCH.>>Stephen: THE WORLD JUST
GRINDS ON.>>YES, YOU KNOW, DAY AFTER DAY,
SAME OLD-SAME OLD.>>Stephen: DO YOU BECOME
ANXIOUS OVER THE CONDITION OF THE WORLD?>>YEAH, I SPEND A LITTLE TOO
MUCH TIME WATCHING CNN. I CAN’T HELP IT. I’M A LITTLE OBSESSED. THAT AND MSNBC, IF THEY GO TO A
DOG COMMERCIAL, I HAVE TO CHANGE TO MSNBC, BUT BACK AND FORTH.>>Stephen: SO MSNBC IS BETTER
THAN A DOG COMMERCIAL.>>YOU KNOW– YES, IT IS. I’M TERRIFIED OF MISSING
WHATEVER THE LATEST LITTLE PIECE OF NEWS IS.>>Stephen: IT WILL FIND YOU.>>ODDLY ENOUGH —
>>Stephen: IT WILL FIND YOU.>>I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT.>>Stephen: IT IS HEAT-SEEKING
NEWS.>>AND THAT IS MY FEAR, IT WILL
FIND ME BIFER KNOW.>>Stephen: HOW DO YOU CALM
DOWN THEN? WE ALL NEED EYE BAKE ON THE
WEEKENDS.>>I SEW.>>Stephen: YOU SEW?>>YES. MY GRANDMOTHER UOTHER ORIGINAL
EDIE FALCO –>>Stephen: YOU WERE NAMED
AFTER HER?>>I WAS. I WAS NAMED AFTER MY FATHER’S MOTHER. AND SHE WAS A SEAMSTRESS, WHICH
IS NEITHER HERE NOR THERE. I DISCOVERED SEWING ON MY OWN,
LITTLE TINY STITCHES. IT’S A LITTLE PSYCHOTIC.>>Stephen: WHAT DO YOU DO? ONE CANNOT JUST STITCH
SOMETHING?>>FABRIC, USUALLY TWO TOGETHER.>.>>Stephen: TWO PIECES
TOGETHER IS ONE OF THE THINGS I UNDERSTAND YOU STITCH WITH. CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC?>>I’M GETTING THERE, I’M
GETTING THERE. I MAKE LITTLE USELESS THINGS
THAT NOBODY NEEDS OR WANTS, BUT IT DOES NOT TAKE AWAY FROM THE
JOY I GET FROM PUTTING THEM TOGETHER WHEN THEY WEREN’T
ORIGINALLY.>>Stephen: YOU SHOULD OPEN A
SHOP. JUST CALL IT, “USELESS THINGS
THAT NOBODY NEED OR WANTS.”>>I’M GOING TO TRY TO RIDE OUT
THIS ACTING THING A LITTLE LONGER.>>Stephen: WHAT’S THE BIGGEST
PROJECT YOU HAVE TAKEN ON?>>I’VE UPHOLSTERED A NUMBER OF
COUCHES.>>Stephen: THAT IS HUGE. I UPHOLSTER MED THE SEAT OF A
WOODEN CHAIR ONCE. IT TOOK ME SEVERAL DAYS.>>I FIND THAT IMMENSELY —
>>Stephen: AND WHEN IT WAS DONE, MY WIFE TOLD ME I PUT THE
FABRIC ON INSIDE-OUT.>>I WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE THAT.>>Stephen: A COUCH IS A HUGE
PROJECT.>>IT’S A HUGE PROJECT.>>Stephen: DID YOU SEW A
COUCH?>>I SEWED A COUCH BUT I DID IT
TOTALLY WRONG. I DID IT A SPECIAL WAY. THERE WAS A LOT OF RUBBER
CEMENT, INVOLVED BUT IT’S NOT IMPORTANT.>>Stephen: THE ARE YOU
SUPPOSED TO USE RUBBER CEMENT WHEN YOU’RE SEWING?>>IT STAYED ON, IT’S FINE.>>Stephen: I WELDED A SWEATER
ONCE.>>HOW DID THAT WORK OUT FOR
YOU? I WENT TO CLEAN THIS COUCH THAT
I HAD, YOU KNOW, LITTLE TEENY STITCHED AND THERE WAS A LITTLE
THING ON IT. AND I WENT AND GOT A LITTLE
SPRAY BOTTLE– BLEACH.>>Stephen: OH, NO.>>YEAH, I SINGLE-HANDEDLY
DESTROYED THE COACH THEY UPHOLSTERED SO NOW I HAVE
ANOTHER PROJECT.>>Stephen: IT LOOKS LIKE LIKE
AN APLUCIA PONY. EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU AS A
TREMENDOUSLY SUCCESSFUL AND TALENTED ACTRESS, BUT I ASSUME
HUTO DO SOME JOBS TO GET BY WHEN YOU WERE STARTING OFF AS AN
ACTOR.>>OH, STEPHEN.>>Stephen: DID YOU DO THE
CLASSICS?>>THE JOBS I’VE DONE.>>Stephen: THE WAITER.>>I DID THAT FOR A VERY, VERY
LONG TIME.>>Stephen: FIVE YEARS.>>CLOSER TO 20. I WAS VERY GOOD. I COULD HANDLE MANY, MANY TABLE
AT ONCE.>>Stephen: DON’T GET IN THE
WEEDS.>>I COULD HANDLE A LOT OF STUFF
BUT DON’T TALK TO ME. I COULDN’T– IT WAS THE PEOPLE I
HATED. SO —
>>Stephen: FOOD.>>FOOD, I COULD DO ANYTHING.>>Stephen: FOOD WAS FINE.>>GIVE ME AN EMPTY ROOM WITH 40
TABLES THAT NEED FOOD, BUT YOU PEOPLE PEOPLE IN, AND THAT ARE
SCREWED.>>Stephen: WOW.>>I HAVE HAD MANY JOBS.>>Stephen: HOW WERE THE TIPS?>>NOT GREAT. I’VE HAD COINS THROWN AT ME. IT WAS ULTIMATELY A LITTLE
SELF-DEFEATING.>>Stephen: DID YOU MAKE A LOT
OF MONEY DOING THIS?>>NO, NO, NOT AT ALL. I DIDN’T. BUT THIS WAS IN THE EARLY DAYS
WHEN PEOPLE USED TO BE ABLE TO LIVE IN NEW YORK FOR NOT AS MUCH
MONEY.>>Stephen: SURE.>>THIS IS GOING BACK A WAYS. I DID THAT FOR A WHILE.>>Stephen: WHAT WAS YOUR BEST
TIP?>>MY BEST TIP? QUIT. I HAVE NO IDEA. WELL, THERE WAS ONE TIME WHEN
PEOPLE WERE DRINKING HEAVILY, AND I KEPT STROG BRING THEM OVER
THE PITCHERS OF BEER, AND THE GUY DROPPED THE $20 ON THE
FLOOR, AND I JUST PUT MY FOOT OVER IT AND CONTINUED– AND I
KIND OF WALKED AWAY LIKE THAT.( LAUGHTER ).>>Stephen: THAT’S FAIR.>>IT WAS NOT A GOOD MOMENT.>>Stephen: IT’S FAIR.>>IT WASN’T. I’M STILL WORKING ON GETTING
OVER THAT ONE.>>Stephen: ANY OTHER JOBS
PAYING THE BILLS?>>MANY, MANY JOBS. I ANSWERED PHONES AT A COSTUME
SHOP. THEY MADE A LOT OF BROADWAY
COSTUMES.>>Stephen: IS IT STILL THERE?>>I DON’T EVEN. I BET YOU IT IS. I BET YOU IT IS.>>Stephen: AND YOU ANSWERED
THE PHONE AND SAID, “HELLO, YES, WE HAVE THAT.>>”WE HAVE THAT. YOU CAN COME HERE AT 4:00 AND
MEET SO-AND-SO.” LIZA MINNELLI WAS GETTING
FITTEDLY IN THE ROOM NEXT TO ME, ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE. IT WAS A BIG DEAL FOR KIDS FROM
LONG ISLAND. NONETHELESS, LIZA GOES INTO THE
FITTING, WE GET A PHONE CALL, “IT’S JACK, I NEED TO TALK TO
LIZA.” “SHE’S IN A FITTING.” “I NEED HER NOW.” THIS GUY WAS GETTING HEATED AND
I KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND NOBODY ANSWERED AND I OPENED THE DOOR,
AND LIZA MINNELLI WAS NAKED.>>Stephen: WOW. HOW DID SHE TAKE THE INTRUSION?>>I BLACKED OUT. I’M NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED AFTER
THAT. I HAVE VERY LITTLE MEMORY WHAT
HAPPENED.>>Stephen: YOU HAVE MET HER
SINCE THEN.>>I HAVE MET HER SINCE THEN. I DID NOT BRING IT UP. DID NOT BRING IT UP.>>Stephen: YOU HAVE TO.>>NO.>>Stephen: SHE’LL BE FINE
WITH IT.>>I KNOW SHE WATCHES THE SHOW
ALL THE TIME.>>Stephen: SHE WATCHES THIS
SHOW OR YOUR SHOW?>>YOUR SHOW.>>Stephen: HELLO, LIZA. I’M SURE IT WAS GLORIOUS.>>AS AN ASIDE I WANT TO SAY
THAT YOU ARE SUCH A SMART, SMART MAN, AND I AM SO GRATEFUL YOU
ARE ON TV.>>Stephen: OH, YOU’RE NICE. I WORK WITH A LOT OF SMART,
SMART PEOPLE. I SOUND SMART BECAUSE OF THE
PEOPLE I WORK WITH.( APPLAUSE ).>>YOU SAY SMART THINGS AND YOU
MAKE ME CALMER, THAT’S ALL.>>Stephen: GOOD. THAT’S PART OF THE JOB. WE WANT TO MAKE YOU CALMER.>>I WATCH YOUR SHOW AND I CALM
DOWN. THANK YOU FOR THAT.>>Stephen: SEND ME A LITTLE
OUTFIT OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.>>NO.>>Stephen: SEW ME A COUCH. KNIT ME A CAR. YOU HAVE A NEW CBS SHOW. WE’RE ALL IN THE FAMILY NOW.>>I DO, YES.>>Stephen: IT’S CALLED
“TOMMY,” WHERE IF I’M NOT MISTAKEN YOU PLAY THE FIRST
FEMALE POLICE CHIEF OF LOS ANGELES.>>THAT’S RIGHT.>>Stephen: HAVE YOU– WHAT IS
YOUR EXPERIENCE, MADAM– AND I REMIND YOU, YOU’RE UNDER OATH.>>YES.>>Stephen: WHAT IS YOUR
EXPERIENCE WITH THE POLICE? HAVE YOU HAD YOUR OWN RUN-INS?>>MY REAL-LIFE EXPERIENCE? WELL, I TRY NOT TO USE THE
“WOMAN ON A TV SHOW” THING BUT I DO SOMETIMES. I’VE BEEN PULLED OVER, AND I
TURN MY HEAD A LITTLE MORE THAN UNDER OTHER SERIES, I’VE NEVER
PAID A TICKET. AND FROM THIS POINT ON I WILL
BECAUSE I JUST SAID THAT YOU.>>Stephen: DRIVE A CAR IN
NEW YORK CITY?>>I DRIVE A CAR, BUT I DRIVE A
VESPER.>>Stephen: YOU DRIVE A
VESPER.>>I DRIVE A VESPA. IT’S THE BEST THING EVER. I JUST GOT AN ELECTRIC ONE.>>Stephen: IT SOUNDS A LITTLE
DANGEROUS. IT’S NOT ROME.>>ROME IS DANGEROUS. THIS IS REALLY PRETTY CALM. I DRIVE IN AND OUT OF TRAFFIC,
AND SOMETIMES I GO A LITTLE FAST.>>Stephen: DO YOU GO UP ON
THE SIDEWALKS AND STUFF LIKE THAT?>>NO– ONE TIME.>>Stephen: THE COPS STOP YOU
ON YOUR VESPA?>>THERE ARE SOME VERY LOVELY
COPS IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD RIGHT IN THE WEST VILLAGE, AND THEY’VE
COME TO KNOW ME A LITTLE BIT. AND IT’S KIND OF EMBARRASSING. WHOOP! AND THEY GO, “EDIE!”
AND I GO, “I’M SORRY.” EVENTUALLY THEY WILL HAVE TO
GIVE ME A TICKET, BUT THUS FAR THEY HAVE BEEN VERY NICE.>>Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP
HERE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING IN
THIS CLIP?>>I’M THE CHIEF OF POLICE.( LAUGHTER ).>>Stephen: AND YOU’RE IN
LOS ANGELES.>>AND WE’RE IN LOS ANGELES.>>Stephen: BUT I THINK YOU’RE
A NEW YORKER, RIGHT?>>I AM, THAT’S RIGHT.>>Stephen: JAMES.>>I DON’T THINK IT’S SAFE FOR
YOU TO GO OUT THERE, CHIEF. I’LL TAKE THIS GUY. THE LAST THING I NEED SAY
SECURITY DETAIL WORRIED ABOUT HURTING HIS DRINKING HAND.>>I’M NOT BORDER NOTHING.>>NOT IN THAT SUIT.>>WHAT’S YOUR NAME?>>BRONX.>>HICKSVILLE.>>LONG ISLAND?>>HICKSVILLE IS NOT HICKSVILLE.>>HICKSVILLE IS NOT BEING ABLE
TO GET A BAGEL. HIXSVILLE IS NOT BEING ABLE TO
GET A SLICE.>>YOU CAN?>>HERE.>>I’VE GOT A GUY.>>A REAL NEW YORK SLICE? DIAZ, THESE ARE INVALUABLE
SKILLS.( APPLAUSE ).>>Stephen: LOVELY TO SEE YOU. YOU AS WELL.>>Stephen: “TOMMY” PREMIERES
NEXT THURSDAY AT 10:00 P.M. ON CBS. EDIE FALCO, EVERYBODY! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
COMEDIAN FORTUNE FEIMSTER.

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