EMU WAR : The Movie

EMU WAR : The Movie


“…after yet another French exchange student was eaten alive by a kangaroo-” “G’day mates! Big story today as peace talks between Prime Minister Isaac Martin, and Emu Emperor Quack the 3rd, have finally concluded in an accord. Emu officials have agreed to stop hostilities against Aussies in exchange for some land outback. Citizens living in districts 27 to 31 will now be considered illegal settlers and will be removed.” – Turn that thing off, sweetie… – Wait, isn’t this… where we live? *doorbell ringing* [music] “Emus shall fall, the final brawl Aussies stand tall and face ’em all, together State your name for the record, mate – And you, what’s your name? – Jack Ehm, so… is this the office for international students? – Yeah… Hey, you’re an exchange student too? where are you from? – Oh, I’m from Australia, what about y.. – Australia? Wait… aren’t you the guys who lost a war to a bunch of birds in 1932? – Wait, w-what… – Pfft, stay the hell away from me, you f*cking loser Private Jack Taylor, mate. – So, why’d ya chose to enlist? – The Emus… They took everything from me Mate, where the hell is Billy? – Dunno mate. Said he was stoppin’ by the post office or something shouldn’t take that long. Ah f*ck it, I’ll call him J-Jack, was this… No, no, no, no, NO BILLY, F*CKIN ANSWER ME, PLEASE! And what makes you think joining the Stralian Defence Force will change that? – Supreme leader Mason Johnson. He promised us we would get our revenge You keep talking about “moderate Emus” but I don’t see them. They all look the same to me! I’m sorry, but… you can’t say that! That’s… – That’s what? “speci-ist”? Ya been throwing this word around for so long, it doesn’t mean anything anymore! This Emu problem is all your fault! And now I’m 20 points ahead, and you have no one to blame but yourself! – Ha, I tell ya, when I’m elected, We’ll take care of these flamin’ Emus ONCE AND FOR ALL! And I believe in him *sigh* Good luck to ya mate Death to the Emus. Glory to Stralia. The Emus have regrouped in this area. This is where we will strike ’em. 1st and 2nd armored divisions will attack them from the south You will have full air support. 3rd division will paradrop to the north to prevent any escape attempt Harrass ’em. Hold on for as long as you can but most importantly, we must encircle ’em Only then, can we send in the cavalry and finish them once and for all This is our last chance. We won’t get another. If we fail today, all our children will ever know, will be slavery under Emu oppression. But we will not fail today! Today, we will retake what is ours Today, ‘Stralia will be free again Because we’re survivors We’re the ones who built the artificial gravity to make this hellhole inhabitable in the first place Those ungrateful Emu cunts can only survive off our labor! But today, we say NO MORE! *cheering* DEATH TO THE EMUS! GLORY TO STRALIA! You okay mate? – Yeah, nah… I don’t know I just… – Don’t overthink it We’re gonna make them pay for what they did to Billy Falcon 6-2, this is Sparrow 1-1, we’re approaching the drop zone – Roger 1-1, we’ll soften that LZ for ya Cheers mate, I owe ya a cold one when this is over – Yeah, I guess you’re right “what the… [explosion] I’m hit! Mayday, MAYDAY! Six-two are you still here? – HARRY! Right mates, we’ll be jumping in 2 minutes, so be sure to have y- Jack? – JACK! Mate can you hear me? We gotta get the f*ck out of here! Come on let’s go The bloody hell’s going on here!? – There’s too many of ’em! We can’t hold on much longer! – What about the cavalry? Where are they!? – Listen here cunt Those Emus are too fast and well-organized We have to retreat! – How?! We’re pinned down mate! – Mate, I ain’t retreating You go, I got you covered – James! – No worries. I’ll tell Billy up there you said he’s a sick cunt Now go! – No! GO! DIE YA F*CKIN EMU CUNTS!! Everybody listen! I know what you’re thinking This is the end of Stralia But if we are destined to die, we will go down with honor! We can’t retreat any further and those cunts will not pass this line Every minute we hold them is one more minute our families are free for those Emu pricks Fight to the last mate! – DEATH TO THE EMUS! GLORY TO STRAYA! Set up the machine guns Mate, you okay? – Yeah, nah… I’m going out there I don’t care anymore Just wanna take as many with me as I can Yeah nah mate. You stay here We must hold the line. – THEY’RE COMIIIIING! Mates, it’s been an honor serving with… – Crikey, IT’S THE CAVALRY! We can’t let those bastards get all the glory, come on! Oh forget it, LET’S GO! Mate, I didn’t think we could do this… But, f*ckin’… Taylor You earned my respect I’ll let you do the honors – Supreme leader! – Maaaate! We f*ckin did it sir! We suffered heavy casualties… But we won! We f*cking won! We’re awaiting evac – Evacuation? Why? – Sir? – The Emus… the Emus are defeated! We… – *laugh* Oh, you think so? – Oy… that’s f*ckin bullshit! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! – You humans never learn, do you? while you were busy taking the bait, We marched through your cities without any resistance WE have won. and now, all that’s left of the Australian Army, is exactly where I wanted it to be “Deactivating artificial gravity in Outback sector 3” – YOU F*CKIN CUUUUUNT!!!!!

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  1. This will be happen, If the two brave soldiers In 1930s lose in the war. Brave to those two soldiers who fought for Australia. They have just Lewis Machine Guns. But they defeated the 1000 emus. The Australia won.

  2. What in the bloody hell did I just watch, and why did I not see this 3 weeks ago! Cheers mate, you just earned a sub.

  3. Why is there colored tv
    And mobile cellphones

    Aaaand only three people attended in this war

    And this is just a unrealistic movie made by CGI

  4. they eat our crops and we fall back, they destroy entire communities, and we fall back, THE LINE MUST BE DRAWN HERE! THIS FAR NO FARTHER! AND I WILL MAKE THEM PAY FOR WHAT THEY HAVE DONE!

  5. Only from down under. This was funny as hell.that CH taking that hit in the ass and the WH fly by was a great effect. Then the Calvary charge! Priceless gem here.

  6. How to cook a emu , pull the feathers, jam it in a pot ,add water and a rock , cook for 5 hours, when ready throw the meat away and eat the rock ,,tastes like shit but you could live on it! Get them before they kick your dunny down !

  7. As a member of the Australian army I can officially say this is the most accurate documentary of the little known 2nd emu war. Lost some good mates in that

  8. Hahaha…… That was really embarrassing when she said "so you are the guys that lost from bunch of birds , stay away you fuckin' loser"
    Really after this embarrassment they even made me say loudly,
    "DEATH TO EMUS, GLORY TO AUSTRALIA" 😍😂😂

  9. aw yeah nah mate these fuckin' emu blokes they've got to go

    aw yeah I remember billy yeah he got shot down at the pub

    last thing he ever heard was "ALLAHU QUACKBAR"

  10. SUPER LATE UPDATE: We've finally made a full version of the Skyfall parody. It's now on the musician's channel, Bart Zeal. Link's in the description, and I do recommend it!
    (and this time around we knew to pronounce "Em-you" correctly)

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