Welcome to Dead Meat, the horror channel where you can get a big serving of your favorite films with a side order of snarky commentary I’m James A. Janisse and today I’m gonna be raking the seven Child’s Play/Chucky movies from worst to best Usual caveats apply here. Firstly, these are just my opinions, and it’s fine if you have different ones We don’t have to duke it out in the Thunderdome or anything Secondly, my criteria for judging these movies include: 1. How well it’s made. Like the writing, directing, acting, etc. 2. How much it tries to be something
3. How much it succeeds in what’s trying to be 4. How fun or entertaining it is to watch
5. And of course, those sweet little Chucky kills And as always, I’ll try to say what I like about all the movies. Even the ones I rank low. You’ve heard this all before, let’s get to the rankings Number 7 Ranking at the bottom of the Child’s Play movies for me is Child’s Play 3 by now you should know that I enjoy novelty I’d like to see different things And I’m more willing to forgive a movies fault if it at least tries to do something new child’s play 3 tries nothing new. It Takes the same exact format of the first two films and puts it in a military school setting which I find painfully Uninteresting I’ve seen all these beats before in a thousand war movies I don’t need to see them again in the Chucky film doesn’t help when every character There is just a total stereotype especially douchey drill instructor, Shelton Hell, they even quote the movie as caricatures lifted from this is my rifle. “This is my gun This is for shooting and this is for fun.” Yeah real cool, bro Sorry, but this 15 year looking jackass doesn’t exactly convey the same threatening manner as our R. Lee Ermey. This is also the movie where they really up the number of Chucky one liners “Don’t fuck with the Chuck. You know what they say he just can’t keep a good guy down.” But I feel like a lot of them are forced and not funny. “Tampering with the mail is a federal offense. Presto, you’re dead.” And while having Chucky accidently scare someone to death is a funny idea that I thoroughly enjoy, most of the other kills Don’t really do anything for me and definitely don’t stand out among the series. The movies not all bad, the opening scene where Chuck he Kills the toy company executive after scaring him with a bunch of toys It’s pretty good, the barber sergeant Botnick is an insane fucking character But actor Andrew Robinson friggin Larry cotton from Hellraiser sells the hell out of the performance he’s having a great time I’d like parry Reeves as Andy’s love interest to Silva and the final act in the carnival haunted house ride is somewhat interesting even though That thing’s unreasonably huge for a pop-up carnival overall this movie Just doesn’t bring anything new to the table And it feels like it was completely Phoned in which isn’t a surprise given that it went from concept to release in less than a year. Don’t rush your production folks Number six, at number six is seed of Chucky, which I’m sure most people would put dead last I don’t blame him after Bride of Chucky turned the series on to a more outwardly Comedic path Steve cut the brake line and floored the freaking panel in this the directorial debut of Don Mancini who wrote every Chucky movie There’s not a single moment that you can take seriously like hey maybe you can have some real sympathetic moments and Chucky’s confused offspring Glen because oh no way he’s business pants all over the place and Getting yelled at by a little British girl for doing so It might be okay, if the movie was actually hilarious, but so much of the humor doesn’t work Whether it’s injecting a frickin Britney Spears look like in the movie and having Chuckie kill her off while driving by the way like that makes any goddamn sense Or making Chucky the killer doll that gave so many people nightmares in the late 80s jerk off into a plastic cup so his doll Wife can use an oozing turkey baster to impregnate Jennifer Tilly with his sperm Oh and speaking of his doll wife, she shows her doll tits. What the fuck, man? I don’t care what you say the ending doesn’t make sense if Tiffany Successfully transferred her soul to Jennifer Tilly’s body before Chucky axed the doll in the head why does she why they’re giving Glenn words of comfort as she dies? is that Jennifer Tilly saying those things is Tiffany in both the Dying doll and Tilly’s body. There’s no satisfying way to explain it so don’t even try oh and also this movie is UGLY Why it don’t look like no good guy. It’s ugly. Yeah! Yeah! a lot of shots feature a fake, Los Angeles exterior That was added during post-production too shots filmed in Romania Which makes everything looks super fake and direct-to-dvd which is Unfortunate given that this was the last Chucky movie that did get out the at record And it’s a shame that the bad parts of this movie are so bad because there are a decent number of good things to it I actually do like Glenn maybe because of Billy Boyd sweet little innocent voice performance, and I like that this movie explores gender issues That’s a new and interesting thing to see in a horror movie Especially one made 14 years ago. Seeing Jennifer Tilly play a campy version of herself is great and the scenes and meta jokes about how? Her voice and Tiffany’s sound the same are pretty funny, “but that voice! She sounds just like an angel.” John Waters is fun to have around and at least the movie goes hardcore with the gore. Even if it’s debatable whether or not it looks good. Overall seed is a movie where in Don Mancini took a chance and it didn’t Pay off thankfully he didn’t let it stop him because the movies he made after this one were a lot better Number five, at number five is the Chucky film I watched the most as a kid, Bride of Chucky. This was Mancini’s reaction to the late 90s meta horror craze kicked off by “Scream”. Bride features both visual references to other popular horror franchises “Why does it look so familiar?” As well as outright self-awareness of its own. “It’s a long story, in fact If it was a movie it would take three or four Sequels just to do it justice.” It can be a little much sometimes But it’s a refreshing change of pace After the first three film stuff so closely to the same story and tone And I do think a lot of the humor works “Rude fucking doll.” It’s the first introduction of Jennifer Tilly to the series playing Chucky’s ex-girlfriend Tiffany Valentine and she is everything the franchise needs. She gets to be a total sex pod and super funny. Both things that Jennifer Tilly excels that even though I Would prefer more time with her as a human rather than just voicing the Tiffany doll. You even get a little splash of John Ritter in there, and I will never complain about having John Ritter on my screen. But holy shit does the story line featuring teenage lovers on the run, Jesse and Jade, sink this ship like an iceberg Jesse and Jade are probably the Most unlikable characters in the entire franchise which is really saying something when you think of the spiteful Family lurking around the mansion in curse, but at least that movie knows we don’t like those asshats. In bride We’re supposed to be rooting for these dumbass teens who are constantly accusing each other of straight-up murder. “I think you’re fucking crazy!”, and yet are still down to make up and get married these two don’t need counselling They need restraining orders. The Kills are all pretty solid I don’t have any complaints there really I could take or leave Chucky’s redesigned Which seems a bit like it’s trying too hard to make him scary and while I can appreciate The fact that this movie took a risk and had a doll sex scene, after watching it I’m not sure I really needed that image seared into my brain forever. Overall, bride is an uneven movie on the one hand a nice injection of life into a series that had grown stale and on the Other hand a film featuring kids, so stupid it should make anyone pause and rethink having children number four My number four child’s play is curse of chucky Released nine years after Sedd, the biggest gap between any two movies of the series. I guess Mancini had to really air out the franchise after that stink fest. I really like curse of chucky It’s a dark Gothic movie with an awesome score that returns the series to what made it good in the first place, a possessed doll sneaking around killing People and not revealing himself until a little later Then letting all hell break loose when he does I’m also a hundred percent okay with Chucky’s redesigned I think it’s a nice change from his stitched up look and hey they even show that he still has those scars underneath some cover Up. This movie is our introduction to Nika Pierce played by Brad Dourif daughter Fiona Dourif and she’s the best addition to the series since Jennifer Tilly. A strong and capable protagonist who was never defined only informed by the fact that she’s in a wheelchair. Sure the family members around her are despicable people who cheat and spy on one another for financial gain and custody battles, But that makes it all the more satisfying to watch them get killed and speaking of kills these are great. Curse is the goriest in the series up to this point. Just letting itself get nasty with the blood and dismemberment. And holy crap did Mancini’s Direction improve from “Seed”. Way to better yourself, dude. I also love that while It’s a complete tonal shift from “Seed” and “Bride” it still maintains the continuity of the series acknowledging Charles Lee Ray’s initiation incantation, the fact that Tiffany is still out there and Jennifer Tilly’s body, and of course bringing the OG Andy back with Alex Vincent in a Post-credits scene that perfectly sets up the next movie. “Play with this.” “Andy!” The only thing I really don’t like about this movie Is that the backstory it tells doesn’t jive completely with what we already know. Flashbacks show Charles Lee Ray is a creepy kidnapper instead of just your run-of-the-mill Serial killer. And apparently the police were raiding his house when he wound up in the chase scene that kicked off the first movie. That Doesn’t make sense because in the original he had Eddie Caputo waiting with a getaway car So like, what was he getting away from? Whatever, everything else works for me and overall I think “Curse” single handedly saved the franchise and gave me an all new respect for the artistic growth of Don Mancini number three Coming in at number 3 is last year’s “Cult of Chucky”, and I’m completely willing to admit that it’s high placement may be at least partially due to recency bias. But I found “Cult” to be a nice combination of everything this franchise has been so far. It brought together every character and storyline that the movies have featured, minus Glenn who had the misfortune of being in the one movie it looks like they’re trying to forget. And it also perfectly combines the Psychological horror of the first movie, since we don’t know what the deal is with all the different Chucky dolls, the gore of “Curse” presented In an even more explicit way, and the humor that’s been a growing presence throughout the franchise. Seriously try telling me the 3 Chuckys aren’t hilarious when they’re hanging out. I’ll call you a goddamn liar “I’ve never felt so alive!” “Yeah well you’ve been alive for like two minutes.” It’s also Aggressively confident in the aesthetic it wants to have. With blinding white walls everywhere in the hospital to make the viewer feel as clinically Constrained as the characters. While some people said they wanted more Andy Barclay I was happy that Nika and her captivity took up The lion’s share of screen time with Andy popping up every once in a while to set the stage for the film’s finale. Is the finale that leaves a little to be desired though. I understand wanting to set something up for the next movie, and I’m excited as all hell to see where this thing goes, but it does feel like a bit of cheating to have it end with so many cliffhangers and so little Resolution. It felt more like the first part to one really bangin movie instead of a completed film by itself. Still between the multiple Chuckys running around the goriest deaths in the entire series and getting to wash Fiona Dourif stretch her acting chops as both Nika and Nika possessed by Charles Lee Ray, I had an absolute blast watching this movie And I think Don Mancini can call it his strongest Directorial work yet. Overall, this was a hell of a good time at the movies Even if it didn’t feel completely cooked through in the end. number two in Second place is the original “Child’s Play” and boy was that a hard decision for me to make. I freaking love both the first two Films and which one I prefer bounces back and forth in my mind, but for this list I’m gonna give the original the silver. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this movie I really like it’s slow burn, mystery filled with Chucky not coming out as truly alive to the other characters until halfway through the movie And sure, only the first kill has even a smidge of ambiguity over whether the perpetrator was Chucky or Andy. But watching Karen and Mike Norris discover the truth for themselves is good stuff, Even if we know what’s going on the whole time. Mostly because Catherine Hicks Chris Sarandon are so good. That scene where Karen finds the batteries missing from Chucky’s back, So well done. And in the second half of the movie when the Chuck’s out of the bag,. We’re treated to astounding animatronics. “What do you think?” Watching this is still hard to believe how they made that bastard move and talk so realistically, especially back in 1988 That’s probably what made this movie so notorious. It didn’t cheat the audience by using only super close-up shots and cutting away anytime The doll was supposed to be moving it, showed you a doll moving around like it really was possessed all without using anything computer-generated And of course, we have the reigning champion of all professional cute kid competitions six-year-old. Alex Vincent, who spends the movie stuttering out his lines “He told me never to tell about him or he’d kill me!” And Just being all kinds of adorable. He’s the perfect mini protagonist for the audience to attach itself to and root for. Especially in that last act, when the kid is fighting for his life on his own. I do think the movie goes a bit overboard with all the times that Chucky appears to be dead But then comes back. But each one grows in how unsettling it is, ending with one hell of a creepy image as he’s finally put down for good. “I’m Chucky wanna play?” Overall the first child’s play is a perfect execution of an original idea that resonates with multiple generations of moviegoers. It is a classic movie in every sense of the word. Number one and yet my number one spot goes to the sequel, Child’s play 2. Again, they’re essentially tied for me, but the second film benefits from having Chucky get down to business right off the bat. There’s no waiting for that big reveal. We get to see him up to no good straight from the start. There’s more humor than the first movie, but they don’t go overboard with it. Chucky’s chill ass deliveries make me laugh. Way more than the campy stuff that would come later. “How’s it hanging Phil?” “What’s your name, buddy?” “Chucky.” I also love that this movie explores the foster system and the foster sibling relationship between Andy and Kyle, something I don’t think I’ve seen in any other movie Regardless of the genre. The animatronics for Chucky are even better than in the first movie and Andy continues to be a reliably resourceful protagonist even though he’s still just a little kid. Dude took a carving knife to the basement in the middle of the night because he wanted to take care of business. The kills in “Child’s Play 2” come at a steady pace and includes such iconic moments in the series As Chucky taking a yardstick, and yes, that’s a yardstick not a ruler you bunch of Blockheads, to the cruel Miss Kettlewell or xeroxing Grace the social worker in the middle of her death scene and it’s got my single most favorite kill of the franchise. Look, I love the gore in curse and call But I’m not sure any Chucky kill will ever top the factory worker whose eyes get some good guy upgrades. That image will stick with me forever from the opening credits where we watched Chucky get Reconstructed, to the toy factory final act, the greatest setting for any of these movies to end. Child’s play 2 is a funny, interesting and perfectly paced movie about everyone’s favorite killer doll. That’s why it’s my number 1 movie of the “Child’s Play”/”Chucky” franchise, and that’s my list Let me know if you agree or disagree or what your rankings are in the comments And if you missed any of the Chucky kill counts hit up the playlist link right over there Apologies to my canadian viewers for whatever reasons “Seed of Chucky” was blocked in your country. I don’t make the rules man, I’m just bound by him. I love making these franchise ranking videos so expect more of them in the future, but until next time I’m James A. Janisse this has been dead meat.