Have you ever really thought much about Han Solo’s rank in the rebellion? (Random person) General Solo What? General?! REALLY? The last time the Rebellion saw Han Solo before this, he was planning to BAIL on everyone. I thought you had decided to stay. Well the bounty hunter we ran into on Ord Mantell changed my mind. Then he gets frozen in carbonite for a year, gets forgiven and immediately gets promoted to GENERAL? WHAT? How does that even make any sort of sense? No wonder the Rebellion ends up with such tactical genius as his Vice Admiral Holdo. I wonder how long SHE spent in carbonite (ﾉﾟ0ﾟ)ﾉ~ *the best intro in existence*
( ˇωˇ) Hello Internet, Welcome to Film Theory! Last chance to hop into an escape pod if you want to avoid spoilers for “Solo” and, well, the entire “Star Wars” franchise Because not only are we heading straight into the asteroid field of movie plot points But this theory might actually spoil Han Solo for you as a character across the Star Wars universe. But hey You won’t be alone. As a fellow Star Wars fan over here I was as excited about Han Solo prequel as anyone and that was about like “Meh.” I’m kind of excited about this. But after watching it I was left with no choice I had to come to terms with the only conclusion you can about han Solo, the handsome hunky space cowboy we all once knew and had confusing feelings about is actually nothing, but an overhyped poser That’s right! The quote-unquote “best pilot” in the galaxy is nothing but a credit stealing Lackey whose success in the entire Star Wars franchise is a complete and total farce. Han Solo is a lie, period. End of story. He sucks and it’s all thanks to what we see in the prequel Aaaaare you still there? Okay, great. For the 12 of you who didn’t rage quit this video after me saying all of that: first off I’m gonna prove that everything I just said is true and secondly I’m gonna make a believer out of you, too. On with the theory! Since apparently none of you went to see solo in theaters I’ll catch you up on this completely predictable plot of this latest movie. Young Han Solo starts the movie by escaping his crappy home planet but OOPS! He leaves his Khaleesi — I mean girlfriend, Qi’ra, Nope, not that one either. “Qi’ra” behind. After debating whether to abandon her for less time than it took me to say this sentence He’s like “peace, I’m out of here.” Han first goes to the Imperial service. But as snooty highbrow thief he finds the work distasteful So he runs away and becomes a smuggler. After completely ruining his smuggler mates’ business prospects and killing off and killing a couple dozen of them in the process, he wins the Millennium Falcon from Lando in a card game. Lando and his… highly progressive droid L-337 go with Han on a mission to retrieve a MacGuffin I mean a hyper evolved energy source, and in the process, they complete the legendary Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs! (if you round down) So this all sounds like yet another fun and wacky Star Wars adventure So why am I going so hard on Han? well this movie is supposed to establish to us why Han has such an amazing reputation as a pilot and a smuggler by the time we Reach the original Star Wars trilogy, but if you actually look at the movie Then go back and even look at episodes 4 through 6 of the original trilogy You can see that Han Actually sucks at all those things roll the tape everything starts when you see him at the opening of solo Where by the way, he’s not a pilot yet and doesn’t have experience flying anything but some measly hovercraft They make that very clear in the opening moments and the early scenes of the movie show that he’s not even good at handling those not even good at handling those hovercraft The only thing we know he does Successfully is Hotwire a hover car which means that he’s skilled enough to have watched about two YouTube videos on how to hotwire something Yes those videos exist and no you shouldn’t watch them for anything. But educational purposes once we see him steal a vehicle he cruises away in a classic Star Wars style chase scene and this becomes the first And this becomes the moment where we see his great piloting skills put to the test he goes in for the classic thread the needle maneuver, he would later be known for and Completely fails he biffs it. He crashes the ship is ruined But okay, I hear you saying it already this movie is to show him growing He can’t start off being amazing at everything. The Karate Kid doesn’t wax off perfectly his first time either and I hear you I understand that I went into this movie expecting that but what if I told you that Han never Learns to fly that this level of piloting ineptitudes where Han starts and where he stays for all the rest of his time Alive don’t believe let’s keep going after we establish the humps exit flying at the beginning of the movie We watch him continue to suck the next time he gets a chance behind the wheel or I guess cleans don’t have wheels So the next time he takes the stick Doesn’t sound right either you gotta really come up with some better piloting metaphors Anyway, we see Han joined the imperial army expecting to learn to fly But we then fast forward three years and he’s a boots on the ground grunt. He’s not a pilot He was expelled from flight schools checked outside Academy We never actually get a sense of how much training he receives But based on what we see next it could have been much the next time we see Han fly is with his smuggler friend back In I’m putting together a crew you ran which if you seen the movie Can’t really be called a success while trying to steal hyper fuel from a train They’re attacked by summer otters on flying motorcycles. Their getaway driver is shot and killed leaving Han in the pilot’s seat And what’s our ace flyer to do he literally runs into the side of a mountain With two or three motorcycle riders to his left He doesn’t think to I don’t know turn right and instead runs himself headlong into the mountain dropping the hyper fuel leaving the mission a complete disaster With two people dead and literally nothing to show for it. Goodbye mission. Goodbye Smuggler money and thanks a lot Han Solo and just to reiterate we’re 45 minutes into the movie at this point and there is still no learning curve on Hans piloting abilities han hasn’t learned anything about being a pilot or a smuggler for that matter between the first scene and now in fact his piloting is just more deadly and more costly than it ever has been but I know you Star Wars fans are really persistent and you’re still making arguments here that none of these early scenes matter because by the end of the movie han is an Amazing pilot. He’s your man crush Monday, and there’s nothing I can say to change your mind well
Let’s just look at that supposedly amazing Kessel run from the end of the movie. And in the meantime Prepare for your man crush to be totally crushed man. Let’s look at how the Kessel run goes down in typical Han style He promises that he can retrieve raw completely unstable hyper fuel from Kessel Which is a planet that just so happens to be a hop skip and a jump through a maelstrom that’s unnavigable for most pilots But not for all ha or should I say not for Lando and l3 37 and here’s where Hans piloting really starts to unravel Let’s talk about l3 37 the robo justice warrior whose name alone is just Pure cringe since it’s a bunch of movie execs trying to be cool by naming their robot and leet-speak according to Lando one of the reasons l3 is so advanced and eccentric is the fact that she hasn’t had her memory wiped in years the advantage to this gives her is that now she has a Vast navigational record that serves as the most detailed and nuanced map in the galaxy such incredible records Not only allow l3 to travel efficiently But also let her to make maneuvers through dangerous poorly charted areas Like asteroid fields or in the case of our Kessel run the Maelstrom She’s in charge of overseeing the navigation of the Millennium Falcon safely through the Maelstrom on the way to Kessel Which she does without even flexing but then on Kessel something unexpected happen namely everyone on board becomes a social justice Warrior – well on Kessel l3 37 tries to free her fellow robots from an eternity of servitude But gets shot the process just when she’s about to go offline permanently Lando uploads her data into the Millennium Falcon to save her AI and bolster the ship’s navigational abilities in the process linking her Consciousness with the ship forever and this this is the linchpin in exposing Han Solo’s lies We now have a droids consciousness linked with the Millennium Falcon Specifically a piloting droid with what’s established as the most robust navigational knowledge in the galaxy It’s only after this point that we see han Solo actually perform Impressive piloting maneuvers and you’ll notice it’s only ever in the Millennium Falcon Don’t believe me. Look at this at the end of solo we see Han finally pull off his signature thread the needle maneuver will Ken’s his failure with the move earlier on in the movie with The hover cars and is meant to show the growth of his skills rights he then goes on to do it twice more throughout the series first and the Empire Strikes Back while he navigates the asteroid and then Again, even more famously to escape the cave But here’s the thing. It’s not him pulling off those maneuvers its l3 We know this not because we see him being a terrible pilot later but because we see plenty of other characters who are definitely not pilots suddenly becoming Amazing at flying as soon as you put him at the helm of the Millennium Falcon in Return of the Jedi Filming witch-hunt never pilots the Falcon on-screen Lando gets a hold of the Falcon and pulls off multiple close maneuvers including the same Thread the needle move getting through the core of the second Death Star and in case you think that Lando might have perfected the move In the time that he owned the ship. How about someone who has never flown before? Period when Rey flies the Falcon for the first time in her life she manages to pull off the same Exact move and then again a few weeks later on crate She does it one more time for good measure and we know it can’t be Ray’s parents passing on good piloting skills since you know Filthy junk traitors That’s one that’s gonna come back and bite him a couple times with my theories of anything to say about it Long story short the common thread through all of this. It’s not the pilot skills eats the ship the ship with L 337 the most advanced piloting droid in the galaxy built into its system Ray may not realize how much the Falcon is actually helping her out, but Han certainly knows. Have you ever stopped to notice? How Han is rarely the person flying when the ship is under attack in Episode four? He actively gives up piloting to Chewie So he could have more fun. I mean be more helpful by hopping into one of the turret In Episode five. Neither hot nor Chewie are in the cockpit with the Falcon is actively under Imperial fire But the shift somehow manages to come out unscathed and how about all those times that Han talks about his evasive maneuvers I know a few maneuvers Yeah, flying in a straight line real evasive there Han you’ll notice that he does this while the navigational system ie L3 is busy charting a hyperspace routes safe enough to make the jump to hyperspace. Let’s face it His name should be Han didn’t do it solo Honestly considering the origin of his name aim Solo wouldn’t be much dumber ladies and gentlemen of the internet I’m sorry to dash your dreams of hunky Han the great star pilot But hey, if you have your heart set on becoming a great pilot like Han Solo when you grow up now You know that even without stepping foot in a cockpit, you’ve probably already hit benchmarks since let’s face it The bar is pretty darn low the only question this theory leaves me with is what I’m gonna leave you with now – did the film makers know I mean I hate to say it but this theory is backed up with a lot of evidence across the movies so much so that I would actually Speculate that the makers of solo may have known what they were doing here I mean think about it the whole movie plays up this idea that l3 is a liberated droid and she’s a cocky pilot She’s too good for Lando’s advances and she takes it upon herself to liberate all droids in the Star Wars universe And that jams up literally buried in the wiring of the Millennium Falcon in the mean time Han Solo a human who never accomplishes anything without her help gets all of the credit for her work spending the next three Movies bragging about all his amazing flying abilities did Lucas and Disney intend to show how incredibly unfair the situation is? I don’t know, but if so, man, That makes me like this movie a whole lot more and with how much I really didn’t like the movie – that helps a lot. But hey, that’s just a theory… a Film Theory! Aaaaaand… Cut.