Film Theory: How To BEAT Michael Myers (Halloween)

Film Theory: How To BEAT Michael Myers (Halloween)

Hello Internet! Welcome to Film Theory: The show that was cursed by a cult to kill everyone’s childhood one theory at a time! Today though we get to strike at one of fictional history’s most prolific killers. No, not him again. He couldn’t even kill a bunch of hobbits. *stutters* What?! Oh. Yeah, I guess he did kill a bunch of people. Alright, so prolific might not be the right word. Today we’re gonna take a stab at one of cinema’s most famous killers: Michael Myers. Michael, Michael Myers, not Mike Myers. Michael’s insane, and inconsistent past has been covered in 10 Halloween movies. Technically, there are 11 movies in the Halloween franchise, but “Halloween III” had nothing to do with serial killers wearing a William Shatner masks. So, not really important for consideration today. And yet, despite it being the second longest-running horror franchise of all time, at 40 years, no one, in that huge stretch of time, has figured out how to finish off the [shape] once and for all. He is literally seemed to be unstoppable. Being brought back in film, after film, despite whatever damage he took previously. So, I got to wondering: if I were a babysitter on Halloween night in Haddonfield, Illinois, the primary setting of the Halloween films, what could I do to not only survive but be the one to finally stop Michael Myers’ reign of terror, once and for all. Now, if you’ve never seen Halloween or its army of sequels, then you’re probably unfamiliar with its convoluted story. And if you have seen the movies, well then you’re still probably unfamiliar with its convoluted story, since the whole thing gets retconned. every time there’s a new installment. Basically, “Halloween” is a bildungsroman: a coming-of-age story of a young man named named Michael Myers, who in 1963 opens the series by killing his older sister, Judith. He spends the next 15 years in mental asylum, under the care of the single worst mental health professional of all time, Dr. Loomis. “Behind that boy’s eyes was purely and simply, evil.” Good medical advice there, doc. On Halloween night on 1978, Michael escapes, and goes on a classic road trip adventure. Despite, it’s worth pointing out, never learning to drive since, again, he was locked in an insane asylum since the age of 6. Anyway, he does all your normal road trip stuff: stealing your murdered sisters gravestone, robbing hardware stores for Halloween masks, and teaching young teens the benefits of abstinence. And this kind remains his M.O. for the rest of time: occasionally showing up always on Halloween night to slowly walk from point A to point B, in order to murder some sexually promiscuous teenagers, long-lost members of his family, and the occasional hermit. “Hermit.” “Hermit” not “Kermit,” he’s not murdering Muppets. Halloween 6: “The Curse of Michael Myers,” provides a deep and often So some ancient gods a backstory that is immediately erased just one movie later in Halloween water wait What Halloween? Yeah, that’s what I said Halloween h20 Oh Halloween 20 years later h20 That’s stupid. That’s a stupid name And now the new 2018 installment takes it one step further by erasing Literally everything but the very first Halloween movie Thereby making the only currently Canon films and franchise to be Halloween and its new sequel Halloween so stupid it’s so stupid So we know a story or at least as much as we can know about his story But if we’re gonna beat him We need to know his power set and let me tell you what a power said it is he is Slow and he tends to use a knife when he’s presented with something like a gun He also uses it as just a knife top tier killer ladies and gentlemen some people seem to believe that he can teleport but technically that’s not true because when he’s arrested at the end of Halloween five he needs someone else to intervene and break him out of jail other people think that he’s a Cyborg because he bleeds yellow in Halloween six But again, that’s also not true because that yellow substance is just a chemical that had been injected with a few scenes earlier So what makes this guy a murderer? So threatening that I’m dedicating an episode to him well to put it simply he’s unstoppable Slap his face on a motivational poster because he is the embodiment of persistence We’ve seen him shot and it doesn’t work again again again Geez, guys, stop trying to shoot him. It clearly doesn’t work. He survives multiple stabbings long Falls He survives burning with minimal damage Beatings from lead pipes and even Busta Rhymes can’t get the job done when he tries to crotch shock Michael to death It is a high voltage wire right to the groin Oh Likes so we know that shooting stabbing exploding electrifying and beating. Michael won’t kill him But he is human who see that he eats dogs in the first Halloween and were able to hear him breathing throughout the series So when it comes down to it Michael has two things going for him super-strength I mean just look at that one-armed pull-up and a healing factor That is so strong that he’s able to get his eyes shot out at the end of Halloween, too But then have him back to full functioning during the next film So how would you defeat Michael Myers my first thought was acid just like cell and Dragon Ball Z You need to destroy every last particle of a regenerating creature So nothing can grow back and with acid it would just keep burning away No matter how much Michael regenerated however upon closer inspection in the series This isn’t the case at the end of the curse of michael myers.slc Doesn’t seem to be the way to go then I thought well maybe the most boring way possible old age, you know It’s lame, but cursor. No, he has clearly shown growing older and aging starting the series at age six in 1963 and then 15 years later proving himself to be a big strapping adult of age 21. Uh, uh, 23 did no one do the math here but again This is a no-go The term death by old age is actually just a blanket statement for the death brought about by the failure of an organ via old Dying cells, but Michael has these super healing cells So the organs technically would never get old enough to fail and it seems like the movies know this Considering Judith says right before Michaels carted off to prison National. God will take him to a maximum-security Facility, but he’ll stay till the day he dies never die so We need to attack the healing factor itself a healing factor that unlike what we see in Logan shows no real signs of failure But we also need to remember that cult or no. Michael is at his core human. He was a kid he grows up He’s referred to as a human in the movies. He gets knocked unconscious like every other scene We see him bleed so he can assume that at some level his body Functions via basic human biology and basic human biology is all that we’re gonna need to kill him You see all humans have the biologic potential to heal regrow and even in some cases regenerate parts of their body for instance if your liver gets injured or you lose part of it or you donate part of it the rest of it will grow back on its own back to Exactly the right size for your body So what grants us our own albeit much slower regenerative abilities stem cells and progenitor cells You’ve probably heard of stem cells the magic cells that start off as a blank slate But can evolve into any type of cell in your body They’re most commonly seen in the growth of babies before they’re born But all of us walking around have our own adult stem cells sitting in our body waiting for their potential to be unlocked now stem Cells have their cousins progenitor cells which are slightly more specific than stem cells But can still grow up to become several different kinds of cell depending on what kind of progenitor they are for instance Your endothelial progenitor cells are the ones found under your skin or near your blood vessels when you get a cut or scrape Those cells are the ones that are thought to Mobilize in order to heal that wound and if that kind of special wound healing ability starts to give you some ideas well It should because that’s where we come all the way back to our old pal, Michael Myers how we’re gonna finally clump him off for good This Halloween to do the kind of wound healing we’ve seen Michael pull off in the movies his stem and progenitor Cells have to be running out of control like sure we can all heal from some bumps and bruises But Michael is literally bouncing back from having his eyes shut out His stem cells are working over time that makes our job in killing him really tough because as long as he has those stem and progenitor Cells he can come back from literally any wound that we inflict on him Theoretically even something as Extreme as chopping him in half wouldn’t help because with the work of his stem cells He could just regrow the missing half of his body and keep on truckin No, there’s only one way to completely wipe out his healing ability And that’s by getting rid of every single one of those regenerating stem cells. So how the heck do we do it one word? irradiation specifically total body irradiation Or TBI TBI is a real medical procedure and it’s been used for over 40 years to help cure very difficult diseases like leukemia 40 years the exact amount of time that Michael Myers has been stalking babysitters in Haddonfield Coincidence. Yes, absolutely in leukemia A patient produces the wrong kinds of blood cells those bad blood cells are created by stem cells deep inside the person’s bone marrow Which in case you didn’t know is actually where all your new blood comes from to treat leukemia One option is to get rid of all the stem cells in the patient’s bone marrow so that there are no cells left to produce The bad blood doctors do this by exposing the patient to radiation high enough radiation to literally kill off all the stem cells Existing in the bone if it sounds scary it is and if you know someone who’s going through this give them tons of support because it is Basically the bravest thing you can do and yes that includes Facing down a goofy mask to serial killer now once there without their stem cells They can’t produce any new blood at all Which is why patients receive a bone marrow transplant in a bone marrow transplant Once the bad bone marrows been irradiated out new marrow from a donor is implanted So the patient has a whole new crop of stem cells Thereby ending the leukemia now in our case. We’re not trying to cure Michael Myers We’re trying to get him done. But the principle is the same if we wipe out michael’s stem cells We wipe out his healing ability. Thereby making it possible to kill him without him coming back but to do that we’re gonna need a lot of radiation a really lethal dose which would be much higher than what’s used in treatment for even the system cancers basically we gotta snap in with everything we’ve got Now lethal radiation doses are calculated based on the radiation level to which exposure would kill 50% of people within a week a lethal dose then is technically defined as one gray where gray is the unit for measuring radiation? to put that in perspective between flying on airplanes getting the occasional x-ray and exposing our skin to the UV rays of the Sun a typical person is exposed to point zero zero to Four gray of radiation per year’s super high doses for bone marrow transplant patients range from six to eight gray at the Absolute most but what we need for Michael is to be so affected by radiation poisoning that he starts experiencing symptoms Immediately to get that kind of effect. We need a total body irradiation dose of thirty gray so we need to crank the dial all the way up and hit him with the total maximum dose and it is Possible but to do it we have to be really really smart in order to expose Michael to radiation We’re first gonna need to lure him into a hospital easy. You simply kite him. Forgive me for using a gaming term But kiting is the process of getting an enemy’s attention and then running away as they chase You usually well attacking the enemy Michael Myers is one of the slowest moving killers in cinematic history So as long as your car is doing like one mile per hour you’re gonna be fine Maybe think about packing some books on tape next all that ammo once we’ve kite at him into the hospital It’s time to lure him into the radiation ring Hospitals in the US are required to build in special radiation shielding in the floors and walls of any rooms that contain a major Radiation producing machine. So as long as he’s in and you’re out which let’s face it You should be avoiding sharing a room with that guy in general You’ll avoid radiating yourself while Michaels busy cooking in his own personal microwave, which obviously leads the question How do you get a hospital to let you a babysitter into their radiation group? Well, the answer is simple Michael Myers as story is known in this universe There’s even a scene where people are watching the first Halloween movie the immortal classic followed by the big giveaway It’s not just a horror movie over there. It’s like a lifetime original feature based on a true story of heroism And in the new Halloween movie people are actively trying to do a podcast with Michael Myers. His story is out there anyway Laurie Strode at this point has had 40 years to prep for his eventual attack plenty of time to get some doctors or law enforcement Or both on her side. They even know what day is gonna attack spoiler alert. It’s always Halloween So if we managed to keep him in the room at max dose He should start to show signs of acute radiation poisoning in minutes Including nausea dizziness and shock and this is exactly where we want him because now it’s time to go in and finish the job That’s right. After all this trouble. It’s actually not gonna be the radiation that kills him Remember the whole point of a radiating Michael was to deplete his stem cells preventing him from healing himself from there we use any method available to shoot out his eyes again inject him with acid again chopping with an axe or for goodness sake just Decapitate the right guy this time because now he’s reeling with radiation poisoning and has no way to heal himself We can finally finally rid the world of the terror That is Michael Myers finishing off the Halloween movies once and for all or at least until they reboot them in another 10 years but hey, that’s just a theory a film theory and guts Hey, if you want more horror theories for this Halloween click the box to the left to see the true ghost stories behind the conjuring Movies or click the box to the right to find out why the Blair Witch was the least of the filmmakers problems when it came to the Blair Witch Project And finally, make sure you subscribe for more creepy theories that happen not just on Halloween But all year round. now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go answer the door. There’s some trick-or-treaters outside

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  1. I contest this. aging is a result of old cells dying, and they die because they've encountered a mutation that would be detrimental to the cell, and thus it is killed by the intrinsic pathway of apoptosis. radiation kills cells by damaging the DNA, in TBI the gamma radiation causes irreparable chromosomal breakage and the cells undergo apoptosis. if it is true that he will never die, his healing ability must involve advanced DNA repair ability, meaning either he will age, or TBI won't work. also, there is no evidence at all to suggest that adult stem cells are capable of regrowing limbs, so I feel like chopping his arms and legs off would actually be a good strat. idk though, haven't seen most of the movies. there's also the possibility that this is all due to magic, not science, rendering all speculation moot.

  2. if you're going to dose him to the point where he's showing symptoms, let me be clear, acute radiation poisoning WILL kill him at that point. there is very little a trained professional could do at that point, and without medical intervention, there is no chance of survival

  3. Can't you simply drown him, cut him into pieces to feed to the pigs, burn him down til only cinders ramains, starve and dehydrate him to death or wait that the abnormal reproduction rate of his cells finally make him gain cancer (I'm not sure if is right I'm not a doctor)

  4. I would make him “ pass out” / die then take a chainsaw and kill him!!!! That’s what I always say in my mind and think why the characters so stupid! But it’s Hollywood!

  5. They're steady putting this dude in a mental institution 🤦 How about dropping him off in the middle of the ocean to drown😂

  6. Any human needs energy to do stuff. And Michael did eat a dog, which could mean this basic human need apply to Michael too. If you would isolate him from air (oxygen), his body would lose the function of making energy and he would both suffocate and wouldn't be able to regenerate, right?

  7. Says everything is not Canon aside from the first film and 2018 then proceeds to show why he can't die in films aside from the first and sequel Reboot still enjoyed it though

  8. All you have to do is decapitate him and destroy the rest of his body and then destroy his brain because you need the brain to continue complex cell functions such as regeneration.
    Basically make him brain dead

  9. Or you could just decapitate him. See, how i understand it is, if you chop his big ol' noggin off, his brain will no longer be connected to his body, the brain is the one telling the body to do the regenerating, SO hypothetically, if you decapitated him, there would be no one telling the body to regenerate, and (PHEW!) he would die instantly, like any other human, or intelligent organism, for that matter.
    No one else is gonna like this comment, so i guess i will…

  10. when you were talking about the power of him and you put the powers at the bottom of the screen you used the powers from deablo i spelled that wrong but i have the game and those were some of the powers

  11. First you have to assume he is still alive. Do you know if he still alive? He is supernatural, so your theory wouldn't work. Only way to stop Michael Myers is by stopping time before Halloween.

  12. Matpat: humans experience about 0.0024 gray a year
    Me: hates everyone and only sees the sun in school make that 0.0001 gray a year for me

  13. Nuke the place and if it doesn’t work call your bro in Area 51 for a few railguns and laser guns
    All right where’s that anti matter gun krombopulus Michael bought and got took by morty?

  14. Easiest way to defeat him. Knock him unconscious, tie him down and fly him first class to the U.K. That knife ban will render him useless.

  15. I bet Michael Myers isnt a person but a conspiracy, a persona taken on by a group of people, that would explain how he keeps coming back. I know he was a person but what if people from the asylum place or elsewhere and took on the character after he died or something for a reason. But that just a theory, a comment theory! (I know it's a late comment but I was just recently allowed to watch one and wanted to watch this)

  16. This seems really extreme and over the top I mean if you`re going to go through the trouble of setting this all up why not, trap him in a reinforced steel room then just flood the place because like you said he is still human(and no human I know of super healing or otherwise can survive without oxygen) and I'm sure if you left him in there for a year or two(or thirty :/ whatever works) I reckon he would be pretty well dead by that point. legit Matt you all ways come up with way over the top methods of murder I mean jeez : … jk still love this video tho

  17. Or maybe actually cut off the real Michael Myers head or cremate him or cover him in cement or cement his feet and drop him to the bottom of the ocean, I mean really guys he's not that hard to kill.

  18. Ngl he's still scary af. He's slow, he doesn't use guns, he only comes around once a year but he can't die, so he's basically an annual terminator.

  19. Could the 2 year gap have been the time to completely prosecute him? Or am I just looking for a way around the plot hole

  20. There’s a good version of the Halloween theme on Spotify

  21. Anyone ever wonder why they left his mask on in the JAIL CELL after he was arrested in Halloween 5? I wondered that even when I was 11 when I first saw it back in 1989!!!

  22. "only movies that are canon are 1 and 20"

    proceeds to use all 20 movies

    jk i dont care just thought it was funny

  23. Answer: Explosive shell shotgun blast close range to the head. The brain controls all functions including nervous system if we destroy the brain it takes Micheal out for good as it destroys his healing factor.

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    وبـصـدق جــربــتــو كـم أسـبـوع وصـار لـي قـضـيـب رهـيـب تـتـمـنـاه أي زوجــة😍
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  25. Michael Myers: gets shot with a 30 grey of radiaton
    Also Myers: heavy breathing and stabs a bitch for trying to kill him

  26. I would decapitate him, and while he's down cut his entire being into small pieces, and put each piece into either separate locked boxes to throw into the Mariana trench or encase them in literally slabs of cement countries away from each other, and make sure all blood and dna is not anywhere in the open world

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