Garam Masala (HD) Full Movie | Hindi Comedy Movies | Akshay Kumar Movies | Latest Bollywood Movies
Charm My, my! The charm Stunning charm Maddening charm charm Fatal charm deadly charm It’s killing crazed souls, lost in the charm charm. My, my! The charm Stunning charm Maddening charm charm. Fatal charm deadly charm It’s killing crazed souls, lost in the charm I desire to kiss you on the lips.. .. to rock in your arms come to me From your tresses, let
me steal the fragrance Let me behold you in
my eyes, don’t go away My love, I fell for
you at first sight charm My, my! The charm Stunning charm Maddening charm charm. Fatal charm. Deadly charm It’s killing crazed souls, lost in the charm I’m restless, comfort me Feign love if you
want, at least look at me You won’t find
another golden opportunity come into my arms, my love don’t torment me I’m your lover, let me enjoy love charm My, my! The charm Stunning charm Maddening charm charm Fatal charm deadly charm’ It’s killing crazed souls, lost in the charm what are you doing?
– I’m sorry. Sorry.. Bloody assistant! Get out of here. Go! Get out of here. I
don’t want you here. Go! Out! Will you teach your teacher, eh? Idiot! Bloody junior! C’mon, girls. Don’t spoil your mood.
Put your smile up. And you please lose some weight.
– Mac! Call for you, sir.
– Who the hell is it? Your fiancée. Anjali junior Long-hair! I’m talking to you.
Answer the phone and say I’m not in. Tell her. Tell her. Put your smile on. Come on. Yes sister-in-law, he asked me
to tell you that he is not in Five hours for a minor task,
eh? Have you been playing around? Who will pay for this? My father?
– Right It takes time to do a good job.
Why don’t you be the face.. on the back cover?
It’ll sell like hot cakes Why do you come in?
Mind your own business I haven’t changed the models. Look I haven’t changed them. Go on.
-He finds reasons to touch the girls! They go sniffing
everywhere for girls what did you understand? Why are you shaking
your head? C’mon. Smile. Excuse me, sir.. is Mac inside? Why do you want him?
– She’s going to bear Mac’s baby what.. ?
– I mean, Mac’s fiancee. Anjali She wants to meet Mac.
– I see. So you are Mac’s fiancee Is he in at the moment? – Of
course. He’s been waiting for you come with me.
– That’s like it Stop following me! Are you a dog?
– I’m Mac’s best friend Out! This is not a zoo.
No animals allowed here Then what are you doing here? Don’t raise your hands.
– Out! Don’t raise your hands.
– Out! Dog Good. Perfect. Come.. he’s so hardworking. See Mac, look who’s here.
– Who is it? Listen Sanchita.. what.. ?
– Sorry.. Anjali, listen to me Start the car. I’m going to the
airport I don’t want to hear a thing what has happened?
– You said you will not be in office You could’ve told me if you didn’t
want to see me. Why did you lie? Who lied to you? I’m
telling you the truth I just came ten minutes back,
I swear. – You are lying You should be ashamed of yourself.
– Hush! Why should I be ashamed? Those semi-nude girls! How
could you touch them all over? That’s my business.
– Business? I mean, I have to show
them what pose to take You are an educated girl,
you should understand that I don’t know about that. I
can’t see you with other girls All right, listen to me.
You are my fiancée, trust me I’ll never lie to you,
trust me. Now.. go home, I’ll come over and
explain. Okay? I love you. Bye Bye. Your dress Swine! Why did you bring her here?
– She brought me here How’d I know that you were
having fun with those girls? I’ll hit you!
– Give it to me! Don’t keep debts You haven’t paid the car’s fare. It runs on gas,
you dig? Pay up, now! All right, I’ll pay you.
Don’t be angry, go now Take it easy. Drop her Bye, darling. Hurry up Garam Masala magazine. Sure. Garam Masala magazine. Yes. So? You promised a dinner
with me this Saturday where?
– A new Chinese restaurant.. china Town. I have booked the table I’ll wait for you outside
the Restaurant at 5:30 sharp Hi Mac. Let’s meet at 5:30 tomorrow.
We’ll have your favourite food.. at the new Chinese restaurant
china Town. What do you think? After dinner, we’ll
go for a movie. Okay? Programme fixed? – Ok. –
See you tomorrow! – Mac! Mac! Tell him.
– Sir, it’s time you gave us a raise Also give us a car and
a three-bedroom flat No way. I’m thinking of
giving a fivefold raise.. a bungalow and a Mercedes each You are joking, sir.
– Who started it? Morons! I’m planning
to halve your pay checks I spent 300,000 for the cover page,
and what do you guys give me? I can’t see a thing.
– Not me! He shot it And this?
– He shot it Aren’t you guys ashamed? I sent
you to the inaugural function.. because the chief
Minister was the chief guest. And the photos you got.. he is not to be seen here!
What’s this? Scissors and breasts! Legs
and a headless chief Minister Sir, it’s the camera. You must
give us sophisticated cameras cameras? Learn photography first Look, if this continues,
I’m going to fire you guys Sorry, we won’t repeat
this mistake. – Yes sir, sorry Something is approaching, know what? Yes sir, my birthday.
– Damn Not your birthday. International
press photography competition Get some photos that I can send
over and make our company famous Am I to send legs there? If you can’t give me pictures,
I’ll make peons out of you! Go away. Don’t make
my blood pressure rise who is she? Whose legs are these?
– keep the legs here and get lost The boss orders us to leave.
Let’s get to work Sorry, sir Leave Haven’t I told you to turn
off the tap after bathing? I always turn it off after
you bathe! – You should do that Because, I’m the boss here.
-Company gives me this accommodation Thank me for that. They
don’t care about you anyway Now stop chewing my brains,
I got to leave I’m leaving too. Where are you
going? – To the temple. Coming? No. I’m going to the zoo. Coming?
– Not after watching you! C’mon. Hurry up and get ready. Where’s my shirt? Shirt.. ? Sorry. Hi. – Hi. What are you doing here?
– What are you doing here? Maggie called me.
– Maggie called me! Easy, easy. I didn’t call you guys,
you guys called me here I called Maggie here.
– I too called her damn you! – No fights.
We’ll have dinner together All right, I’ll foot the bill.
– I’ll foot the bill. It’s my party pay yours, I’ll foot Maggie’s bill.
– Why don’t we eat first? Let’s decide it later.
– All right Let me go! God! Both of you, leave me Get lost! Are you blind?
– Bloody idiot Sorry.
– Go and hit him Let’s go, darling Hey – Sorry. Come on darling. Your food, sir. Maggie, I ordered this for you.
Especially, for your eyes Your eyes are perfect.
Eat what I ordered for you It’s good for your heart and mind.
– You need brains, you eat I have brains.
– So why don’t you bring it? Shut up!
– Cool don’t fight. I’ll
eat both. Let’s eat.. I’m very hungry.
– Okay, darling do it fast. Don’t waste
your time on one table Eat this, good for
you thighs.. eyes I said, I’ll pay.
– I’ll pay I pay!
– Not fair. It’s my party I’ll pay for myself and Maggie.
– It’s not tip, it’s a bill You carry on.. eat my share too. This dinner’s on me. Nobody pays. Forget it, Sam. Next time.
Let him pay this time If you say so. But I
don’t take favours come on Sam, don’t
fight now. Cool down Let me have something. Where’s my wallet? Where are you looking? Clean it quickly
and take it all away. Stupid! Shut up, you.. come with me The stupid is disturbing. Where
was I.. ? People ogle at you.. Friend.. I’m sorry, I broke your heart I shouldn’t be doing this.
Foot the bill, please There you are! Now you
know that Maggie is with me I should be paying the bill.
– Yes. Sorry. Good you didn’t
wear glasses. – Why? Your lenses.. great colour.
Looks good on you You like it?
– Yes – Are you going to eat those cherries?
– No. Do you want it? I like cherries very much. You mind it, don’t you?
– Mind what? I know you’re feeling bad.
Here, pay the bill Are you crazy?
– Go ahead You foot it.
– Not fair Forget it. Go dutch on it I’ll be back, I got to
go to the loo. – Okay Madam, bill.
– They are paying They left. They said, you will pay.
– What.. ? Greetings, sir.
– Yes, son? Can I help you? Perhaps you have no idea,
I’m a great fan of yours I want a photograph from you that
has never been published or seen And.. the negative too.
It’s for my personal collection I’m willing to pay any price, sir I don’t have photos right now.. .. but I got some
negatives that you can take Fine?
– Yes, sir Your father fixed your wedding,
with the consent of the two of you But ever since you were engaged,
I’ve only seen you brawling Your fathers were childhood
Friends, they were thick friends They came here and together
they joined the Indian Embassy Give him water. They retired
together and went back to India don’t fight and
break their friendship If you don’t want to marry,
decide it right now I never said I don’t want to marry Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll take you
out for movies twice a week.. I’ll take you out
thrice for dinner, and.. your birthday is on the 27th.
See, I remember, I didn’t forget On that day I’ll be with
you from morning to evening And I’ll only take
your pictures. Okay? If only you keep your promise!
– The day you become a doctor.. I’ll send the two of you to India and
get your married. Now don’t belch! Maggie didn’t come today congratulations.
– Congratulations congratulations!
– Congratulations Shyam, the award you have
won has made our company famous what award? -International
press photography award didn’t you see? All the newspapers
are carrying your picture You have been promoted too. – The
company gets 10 million in reward One million is for you.
– Thank you, sir And a free one-month
trip to America I want to give you something else.
– What else? Your pay is doubled right away.
– And you listen.. give him the motorcycle
key and the flat keys to him And from now on, he is your boss.
He’s senior, you are junior. Dig that? Shyam come, we got to talk.
– Thank you, sir Move it what crap! How can he get an award? Sir, you know that he’s a
bad shot, but you guys.. He holds a camera like
he’s holding a coconut I know you guys well. The two
of you hardly know photography But he gets an award!
– Sir, he’s a fraud! A cheat He steals
photographs for competitions I know where he stole
those photographs from But he’s made our
magazine Garam Masala famous Sir, I will fight. I
will not leave this This war has to be..
– Shut up! Silence, idiot This hunger has
heated up your brains Attend tonight’s party and stuff
yourself. It will cool your brains But I will fight Out you go! I will fight. He stole my heart on the sly Lord, he took my heart away He made me belong to him,
showed me beautiful dreams.. .. and took my heart away On the sly.. .. he stole my heart On the sly.. he stole my heart My love, you are handsome You fascinate me You are mine My love, you are handsome You fascinate me You are mine You have set my heart racing You have robbed me of my peace At the very first sight,
my heart writhed in agony On the sly.. you stole my heart On the sly.. you stole my heart My love, the
fragrance of your breath.. and the magic in your words.. make me lose my composure My love, the
fragrance of your breath.. and the magic in your words.. make me lose my composure I don’t know when I fell in love I don’t know when I gave in You looked into my eyes.. and said a thousand things On the sly.. you stole my heart On the sly.. you stole my heart You stole my heart on the sly Lord, she took my heart away On the sly.. you stole my heart On the sly you stole my heart Ladies and gentlemen, we
dedicate this evening to Shyam Friends, I’m happy that.. Shyam has brought glory to
our magazine Garam Masala Glory that makes it
hotter and spicier On behalf of the company,
we congratulate Shyam we also pray for the
success of his American trip So Shyam’s here’s to you..
a Bon Voyage. Thank you, sir. Bon voyage, my foot!
Bloody freeloader A free trip to America for
stealing photographs. Moron don’t you guys have self-respect?
Why are you clapping? Are you crazy? This friendship.. .. we shall never break Stop singing, will you? Stop it don’t sing on friendship,
please! Stop it Sing something else.
– Sing what? I’ll sing You are made neither for
the earth nor for the sky what makes you sing melancholy?
– Your identity is.. why pick a rotten song? Forget your friend. He stole pictures won an award and
flew off, didn’t he? So hear me. If you play the music
of honesty, you will go deaf someday Someone rightly said. Behind every
bit of luck there’s a horrible crime whose line was it?
– Not mine. Carry on whoever said that, he was right Money is truth. If you have money,
you have everything. Else, nothing You lost your house, your motorbike,
your girl.. they belong to him now Moreover, he is your boss now.
Don’t you want to defeat him? If I have my way.. .. I’ll build a villa opposite
the house he snatched from me I’ll have three imported cars
for the motorbike he took away I’ll snatch all his girlfriends
away for taking my girlfriend Maggie But how’s that possible? The
girls we like, never like us And the girls who like us,
who cares about them? Don’t worry about girls, moron.
I’ll introduce you to beauties But wait, I’m not
running a home of charity My help doesn’t come for free I know, freeloader How wide does your mouth open?
– The size of your pocket But look, today’s girls don’t
care for looks but for bank balance They look at the house, the car
and the credit cards you possess You dig, Romeo? Hi.
– Please sit He’s the one who waits outside the
airport for you. Been a year now just to meet you, just to say hello This is pooja.
Airhostess. She works for Fast Air Hi. I’m Makrand Hi. I’m Sweety from HiFi Airways You can call me Mac.
– I’m Deepti, from jet Speed Airways God spins the wheels
of fortune really well He turns a king into a
pauper and a pauper into a king It’s not God who spun
the wheels. It’s the fatso The chief editor. He helped me whatever. When Shyam returns,
he will boss you around And you’ll have to obey him
quietly. – That’s not worrying me But, Maggie kissed him before me!
Well, I got three chicks now Maggie looks like a noodle before
them. – Where did you find them? Why do you worry about that? You
were supposed to show me a house Yes, the house.. Stop droning. Tell me where it is.
– There is one. -Where? You’ll have to cheat I don’t want to be jailed. Don’t
get me into wrong things. Tell me where do I find a house?
– There’s no risk My ex-boss’ flat’s always empty.
He had bought it for his daughter She now lives in America.
The babe’s real hot! But she is not straight, you know.
She lives with a black guy.. hasn’t married yet. And her
father doesn’t even know about it Let me tell you the biggest risk Forget it.
– Tell me I won’t tell anyone, I swear.
– I mustn’t talk about the girl.. Not the girl! About the house!
– The flat is always empty He is looking for a caretaker. If you can turn him
around and get the job.. the flat will be yours.
– So take me to him If you take me, you’ll never get
the flat. Rather you’ll be thrashed why will he hit me?
– The man is ruthless, I say I had run up a debt at a liquor bar,
so I sold the tyres of his Mercedes I thought I’ll put the tyres
back when I have the money He fired me over such a minor
thing. The bloody sonofagun! All right, listen to me I’ll fix the old man. But I
need a car for those beauties don’t worry about the car.
I’ll give you a car.. prettier than the girls. But you won’t get the same
car daily. No guarantees Never mind. – Tell your
girls you got several cars Listen..
– Yes? No liquor, no cars.
Just steering wheels You are crazy! Name?
– Makrand Godbole. They call me Mac what work do you do?
– I’m looking for a job But I want to tell you
a sad story about me So you are a writer?
– No, sir parents, siblings, uncle and aunts..
they are all I have in this world I’m their only support So what can I do? What can you do? Give me work, sir know how to drive?
– I know. But I don’t drive My horoscope predicts a major
accident if I drive for someone do you cook? – I do, but I
always add too much salt what can you do then? Can you take care of a house?
– That I can do very well I don’t normally trust strangers But you seem to be
from a good family I’m always out of the country I got a flat at port Louis.
Collect the key from me tomorrow who?
– Open up who’s that? I told you about him didn’t I tell you? He’s Mambo call him here Uncle, he is Mr.
Makrand. People call him Mac Hello.
– Attitude problem did you tell him?
– Explained him everything Told him about me?
– Clearly I want a mixer, I
don’t make chutney.. .. I want a grinder, I
can’t knead dough.. I want a gas stove,
no outdated stoves. Washing machine.
Doesn’t wash clothes He wants a dishwasher.. .. and a huge fridge,
because he can’t cook everyday Television. – If cricket
is on, he’ll cook at night If it’s a day-night match,
you will order something I will go to the market, and
nobody questions me about accounts Sure. Anything else? That’s all? Can I talk now?
– Sure Actually.. we are young people we play around and have fun. So.. I don’t want any interference.
– I don’t care. Do as you like My demands have to be met and I
must get my pay check on the 1 st Fine. You are appointed when we first met, I was
wondering where I’ve seen you before Then I remembered where You are the girl I dreamt about know what this is?
– What? A ring. A ring that passed down.. .. from my great
grandmother to my grandmother From my grandmother to
my mother and then to me I was told to give it to my
life partner whenever I meet her And guess what? God heard my
prayers and He gave me a life partner Really? What are you doing?
Why did you take it off? You are my fiancee now. I’ll
give it to you the day we marry After that, this ring will
always shine on your finger So sweet Chhagan! Drive Babban! Stop come on Come. know what this is?
– A ring But it’s a very special ring A ring that was passed down from my
great grandmother to my grandmother From my grandmother to
my mother and then to me I was told to give it to my
life partner whenever I meet her That’s what I’m doing now what are you doing? Now that you are my fiancee,
I’ll give it to you the day we marry After that, this ring will
always shine on your finger I love you. Mac.
– Control.. c’mon! Your fingers looks so bare know what? This ring passed down.. .. from my great
grandmother to my grandmother From my grandmother to
my mother and then to me I was told to give it to my
life partner whenever I meet her And I found you. I’m so happy No.. not now.. why?
– You are my fiancée now I’ll give it to you the day we marry Let me go.
– Feeling shy, eh? Indian girls are great I see the sky.. I see the earth.. wherever I see.. I find you I see the sky.. I see the earth.. wherever I see..
I find you In every spectacle, I see you There’s no place..
where I don’t find you who lent elegance.. .. to this marblesque body.. ? To these dreamy eyes.. ? To this beautiful face? You are my destination You are my desire The Spring.. the marvels.. and the stars, without you.. I have never seen them I see the sky.. I see the earth.. wherever I see..
I find you You’re mine.. and only you.. You make my dreams come true.. I want only you.. girl, only you.. I love you.. Love you..
Love you.. only you.. From your eyes flows.. a strange intoxication dazes one and all It’s an incredible moment Your radiance captivates me You are my only obsession My love.. I shall.. never find.. a beauty like you I see the sky.. I see the earth.. wherever I see..
I find you Pooja..
– Honey, I’m here There! Hurry up, or we’ll be late I’m sorry, I started without you.
– Never mind. No formalities. Thank you. When are you coming
back? – The day after tomorrow The day after tomorrow
By which flight? – IA 9436 The Mumbai flight that flies back?
– Right when will you be leaving?
– Next day Next day. Okay Tell me something, honey.
What do you keep writing? Do you think you are a pilot? You
keep track of every minute of mine Business is stressing, and I’m
busy. I have to sort things out So that when you come home,
I can spend time with you we can be together. Water please Mambo! Make two cups of tea!
– Making tea is not that easy It’s a tough job. Look at me!
You got to light the gas stove.. boil water, put tea-leaves,
add sugar and milk to make tea prayers don’t grant you tea!
– Mambo! Don’t you talk about prayers!
Go and get some tea don’t you scream at me! I’m not deaf Hear that? He has scissors for a
tongue. I told you to fire him why don’t you kick him out?
– It’s no good The poor man is fickle-minded.
Just yesterday he was praising you Lies! He never praises me when I first came here,
he treated me like a guest But now he acts as if
he’s doing me a favour Listen, you are mistaken He is like an old man
fed up of his children You get me? He’s like your father.
His heart’s full of love So why does he hide it? Why
can’t he be like us, honey? How can he be like us?
He’s an old man.. about to hit the grave.
To hell with the old man who is an old man? Did
you call me an old man? Who called you old man? – I’m
not deaf. You called me old man Yes, he said that. So what are you
going to do? Will he call you a kid? Damn you! Your father
might be an old man! She’s going to down a plane
someday. Calls me an old man! Airplane, my foot! She
can’t even ride a bicycle I have told you!
Shut your ears. Please Say you will.
– Eyes shut, ears shut! Go and get the lady’s bag.
– My eyes are shut Open your eyes for five seconds.
– If I find her bag in time, fine Or she leaves without her bag.
– Don’t talk back Old man! I warned him. See, he
quietly went to get your bag Mambo, quick Honey, I’ll miss you a lot.
– Even I’ll miss you I don’t feel like going.
– Go on, you need to work Go now, come on. Don’t keep
standing for too long. Bye where’s she now? Mac! Mac! Did I keep you waiting?
– No. I came only a minute ago But that one minute
felt like a hundred years come, let’s go.
– My bag Okay lets go.
– Come. One leaves, another comes.
Bangkok departure, Singapore arrival Every time I come here, I see
that man in the same position don’t you keep him busy? You
are too lenient towards him what are you hiding?
– Nothing Then why are your hands behind you?
– It’s his style. Never mind why doesn’t he show it?
I want to see it I can’t show it.
– I want to see. – Take her away No whispering! I don’t want
to see it. keep it with you Let’s go to our room and chat.
Get into a nightgown.. No! I’m not leaving until
he shows what he is hiding If I show you, there’ll be a storm! Come what may, I’m going to see it You want to see it?
– Yes You want to see it? I’ll show it.
– Show My pants are torn, and
I’m not wearing underwear don’t tell me I didn’t
warn you. Want to see it? Want to see it?
– Damn Hold it I guess I deserve a raise In trying to save you.. .. my pants are really
going to be ripped off someday what are you cooking? I don’t
want sandwiches. Make malai-kofta what’s this?
– Call it anything you wish we call it mutton cutlet.
– What? For whom? Mac only eats what I eat.
– Ask him Mac! Yes, honey?
– Whom is the mutton cutlet for? Mutton cutlet – why did he make it?
I think he has his way around here How can you stand it?
– You are right Mamu! why did you make the mutton cutlet? Who did you ask before making it? You don’t know who ate it?
– Do you eat mutton, Mac? When did I eat mutton?
– Did I say you ate? Then who ate it?
– Someone who?
– Want me to remind you who did? Tell me.
– The one who had omelette.. Hang on! I remember. Just
tell me if I am right or not It was my friend Shyam.
– Shyam, who? Shyam, who? He’s my friend. He
came from America last night when did he come? This morning Oh yes, this morning.
The cutlet was made for him I swear. You don’t believe me? Thank God you remembered Mac, there’s an email for you From?
– Shyam He’s coming from America tomorrow.
– Shyam’s coming from America? You just said he had breakfast.
– Who told you? Yes, I told you. But
this Shyam is not that one who ate the mutton cutlet?
– That one’s different The Shyam who’s coming is my
friend. – Then who is this Shyam? Don’t you know? You brought the
email! – Who is that Shyam then? I have five friends named Shyam.
Do you know all of them? I have five Shyams as friends,
and he knows just one. He’s crazy. He’s very weird. Snake in the grass! You
know when to grab a bite I didn’t get this email, you dig?
I don’t want to talk to that ingrate He wants you to
receive him at the airport My dog will receive him!
– When did you get a dog? Is that a joke?
– Look, he is your boss. You must go can’t you tell a
lie for your brother? For a brother, yes. Of course,
with an open heart Happily Enough. I can’t stand more happiness Sweety. Mac. – Yes. My flight timings
are going to change. We’ll be flying only during daytime what time is the arrival?
– I’ll get to know today I’m dead. Got to
rework the adjustments what adjustments?
– No.. my work schedule I’ll have to adjust my schedule
according to your flight timings You take a bath Nageshwar! Yes? Tell me.
– Where’s Mac? I don’t know. He’s not
coming to the office either I’ve been looking for him.
He doesn’t even call me I left three
messages at his office.. .. but he didn’t call me.
Please tell me I got to attend an
urgent meeting. Bye where are you going? One second Listen to me.. You must tell me. Where’s Mac?
– How can I tell you? I don’t know You are lying. I
know you can tell me Say, how much is it worth? So you’d care to grease the palm? The work I do here.. don’t tell me
what people call this profession But if I have to continue this,
you will have to double my salary can we sit and discuss it?
– Mac! What happened? Anjali is coming.
– What.. ? Who the hell told.. ? Who the hell told
her about this place? – I don’t know. I
saw her coming here You were supposed to take me out for
a movie and dinner, what happened? And now you have moved in here!
You didn’t even care to call me If you don’t like me,
tell me Makrand! – Don’t call me Makrand. Call me Mac And stop screaming. I
command some respect here This house is not mine.
Belongs to my friend My office snatched away my house.
After I find a new house.. I’ll take you anywhere you want.
Restaurants, movies, anywhere Galan.. what happened?
– Babban Babban, see the lady off But..
– Go on Hurry up Hello? Mac here.
– Pooja here why are you puffing?
– I was running Running? What for?
– I mean, on the treadmill There’s a problem here. My
flight is delayed. I’m coming over don’t come here!
– Why are you yelling? I thought we’d spend some
time together, but you.. ! Try to understand. Why bother?
I’ll come to the airport No need. I’ve hired a cab already.
– To hell with the cab! I’m coming to the airport, pooja.. Hello, Mac, hello!
– Bye. Who was it? A.. relative Relative? Who? Close relative close relative, who?
– He’s like half-father to me what.. ?
– He is my uncle But you yelled pooja!
– I did who was she?
– It was a male How can a man’s name be pooja?
– Why not? He’s my uncle pooja. Get that?
His name is poojari kids used to tease him, so
he changed his name to pooja That’s uncle pooja!
– The biggest lie ever Mambo! why do you call him? He’s
always busy in the kitchen don’t you trust me?
– No! I swear by my father Is he your father?
– Yes You never told me. – You
never had interest in my family This is when he was young..
with my mother That’s the naughty me.
– How sweet! He even creates parents Uncle pooja is coming,
I’m going to the airport I got to talk business with him.
He’ll be leaving by the next flight I’ll be back. Get dressed
or you will catch a cold I’ll be back Mambo! Mambo! Mambo! Mambo! Listen carefully. The
Mumbai flight is delayed If it lands here by chance,
don’t let it meet the Bangkok flight I don’t want them both to collide Because if they crash,
I’ll die. Help me please Mumbai flight hasn’t taken off,
Bangkok flight is at home If the Mumbai flight lands,
the Bangkok flight will.. damn! Where’s she? Pooja. Damn! I’m dead Pooja. Excuse me. Pooja. Mac? You are here?
– Where were you going? I was going to the taxi stand.
I’m famished, let’s go home Mambo has taken the day off.
Let’s go to the airport canteen.. we’ll have chicken breasts. Come on Hello? Is it early? All right,
I’ll get to the airport Mambo, don’t cook
for me. I’m leaving May I say something?
– Tell me I think I must’ve done some
good deeds in my previous birth That’s why I get opportunities
to spend quality time with you Honey, you really flatter me.
– That’s the problem If only I could rent my heart!
But you’ll still think I’m lying Hi Mac! I’ve been looking for you. I
thought you came to receive me Give me a hug Go and sit there, we are busy.
– Hi Hi. I’m pooja.
– We are best friends we can even give up
our lives for each other Not that best friends, okay!
Go and sit there How can you say that?
– Join us Hi we used to work together. I got
the International photography award Then I went to America..
– She is my fiancée Fiancée?
– Yes If you don’t mind, we want
to discuss something private Find another table, please.
– Carry on You and I have no secrets
between us. She won’t mind it She knows the friendship we share.
– Such a pile on, you know I have to report to my office.
– Okay Because, I told them I’m
going home. – Okay, darling. Bye where did you find that bombshell?
– Got to be handsome for that. You.. what happened? – Mac. What happened, Mac? What are you doing down there? I had lost my ring How come you arrived early?
– I told you about change in timings They called me suddenly. Departure
is rescheduled three hours earlier Hi! I am Shyam from America.
– Hi! I am Sweaty. This is my..
– Fiancée? Yes.
– How do you know? We’ve been friends since childhood.
We know each other’s choices why don’t you sit?
– Move it Please. Here.. here, darling.
– Okay Easy Okay. Is he the Shyam for whom
you made the breakfast.. ? Yes.. the breakfast.. it’s him when are you coming back?
– Don’t know New schedule, new timings.
I’ll know only after I return I’m getting late, I got to go Bye, Mac.
– Bye, take care. You are indeed lucky. I
have seen fate look up But this is incredible!
You are very lucky Trust me..
– Mac, I got to leave It’s time for my flight.
Love you, honey Ok. Bye. Bye. _ Take care.
– Take care. Where do you think you are going?
– Incredible setup I can add spice to this setup There’s my stuff. Let’s
take that to your house Then we’ll fix half a dozen girls.
We’re brothers, after all Get lost. Don’t touch me.
– Well? One cold coffee Swine! You cheated for that award.
And then you forgot me Then you got promoted and
flew off to America, all alone You went blind, didn’t you? I
decided then, to end our friendship You go your way, I go mine Excuse me! My bill. Coffee, separate Listen.. listen.. Friend.. damn you! Babban! When did you come? I’ll explain later.
First tell me where Mac is His life’s totally changed.
He’s a high-flying guy nowadays! He has a posh flat,
exquisite, expensive furniture.. three hot babes at his
beck and call. What a blast! How times have changed for him!
– Lucky dog! So take me to him. Why don’t you? Haven’t you met him yet?
– How could I? I don’t even know where he lives.
– Walk into his office and meet him But how can I go to
his office in this state? I’ve just arrived from America Look, Babban. Mac is
a close buddy of mine Even if I’m his senior today,
he used to be my senior once! Look, I’ve got such a lot of
stuff for him from America I can’t sleep in the night,
wondering how he could be managing Stop worrying about him! He’s
doing just fine wherever he is come with me, Babban. I’ve
got some stuff for you too No, you must be lying.
– Lying? I’ve brought three
bottles of English liquor! What’ll I do with empty bottles?
It should have booze! Empty bottles? They’re
sealed bottles.. full of liquor! Really? Let me see! Actually, it’s under
all the stuff there. I’ll give it to you at Mac’s place You mean it?
– Oh yes. And some dough, too All right, let’s go.
– Okay Speak up! Mac. Who’s this mad dog? Uncle Mambo..
– That’s my name! What’s his? Who on earth is he?
– Uncle Mambo! The master key to this house! So you’re Uncle Mambo.. ? You’re just like he described you
in his mail. You haven’t changed The same nose,
eyes, vest and undies! I change my undies everyday!
Who the devil is he? Uncle, this is Shyam.
Everybody calls him Sam Mac’s friend. He has
just arrived from America But why’ve you come with bag and
baggage? – Hasn’t he told you? Who?
– My chum. I’m going to stay here No way.. no! My sofa.. ! He forgot to
receive me at the airport I was so angry.. sorry!
– Are you blind? Can’t you see anything?
– He can, it’s just a mistake I was actually so angry, I thought
I wouldn’t set foot in this house You haven’t unpacked yet.
Better you get going! If I go away, he’ll be
back to his old dramatics He’ll fall at my feet,
cry.. The forgetful idiot! Wrong! He never forgets! By the way, which room
did he ask you to take? But you haven’t even met him yet.
– Oh yes, I haven’t met him know what? Just give me a nice room Nice room? You want to buy it? Are you married?
– No. Not right yet But I’m looking out.
– What could be worse than this? No, not that one. That’s
the bedroom he works in And that is a
bedroom he does not work in He only sleeps in that bedroom.
Simply relaxes So many rooms! Is
this a house or a hotel? Even these rooms aren’t enough for
him. – So where am I going to stay? There is a room for you..
butt’s a bit too large That’s okay. It’ll do.
– Will do? No problem!
– Follow me then Go on.. beat it now.
– What? Empty-handed? Take all there is in
this pocket of mine Only 2 rupees.. ?
– Why? Is that too much? Never mind. keep it.
– Filthy miser! Here, keep the 2 bucks.
I’ll give you 50 paise more! Okay? And you said you got
something for me from America! It’s there for you. But I’m
not giving it to you right now I’ll give it at an
appropriate time. – Really? If that appropriate time does not
arrive, I’ll tell Mac everything.. and your bad times will begin.
Just you remember that! And listen! If I can fix a
car that has broken down.. I can also wreck a proper car! Thank you. Hello?
– Deepti Deepti, listen.. I can’t
go to the airport. I’m busy Go straight home, I’ll be there I love you. Bye who are you? How dare you kiss me? That could’ve been my question.
But I’m not heartless like you I hate debts. I repay every bit Shut up! Who are you? And
what are you doing in my house? That’s my question.
– This is my house! This is my best friend’s house.
– Who? Makrand deendayal chatpatiya.
– Are you Makrand’s friend? Yes. Now tell me,
how’s this your house? I’m Mac’s Fiancée I see. So you are the girl
who’s going to marry Mac Aren’t you ashamed
to kiss a stranger? I thought it was Mac. But you
knew it! Then why did you do it? Aren’t you ashamed to kiss
a girl you don’t even know? I thought it was Mac.
– And when I was screaming.. ? Can’t you recognize a girl’s voice?
– I thought it was Mac laughing All right, just forget it It was a mistake. Now that we
know each other, why don’t we do it? What.. ? Two negatives add up to a positive As a poet said, yesterday’s
mistake is today’s culture.. and tomorrow’s law.
– Did you really think I was Mac? If it’s true, I’ll forgive you Even if you forgive me,
I can’t forget your touch I’m a rich bachelor But I have never
consciously looked at a girl So?
– I love you I’m engaged. You dig? My feelings.. I was just telling her
how much Mac loved her You tell her you love her, and she’ll
know how much Mac loves her. Right I mean, Mac told me to tell her.. how much he loves her..
– Enough. Don’t try hard Uncle.. I’m not anybody’s uncle!
– Ass! What.. ?
– One who calls you uncle is an ass what style, what personality..
what must be your age? Thirty-five? Thirty.. ? A bit older But if you discount all the
holidays, it comes to that much You are young You don’t need to tell Mac
about what you just saw and heard Forget Mac, I don’t
even tell myself.. .. about what goes on
around here. So relax Thank you, uncle.
– Ass! You are an ass You called me uncle donkey Intruder!
– Here you are, my friend! Where were you? You kept me waiting Hands off! Are you crazy?
– Tell me, please Tell what? Hands off! See his style? He loves me so much what love? Have you done
anything worthwhile for me? Why must you hide it from uncle?
He knows everything Even I know you in
and out! I hate you Hands off! Get out of here Get out of here! Out No matter what you say, but
my love for you is growing It’s growing here too.
Not love but the itch Get out of here, or..
– Or what? Let go of my hand or
I’ll break your teeth what’s that?
– My cheeks what’s on your cheeks? Blood.
– How come? I had a shave this morning,
nicked myself and it bled In the morning! And
it’s grown already? Did you use a tonic for a cream? What the hell is that? – I
stopped shaving after I got the cut How come your blood is scented?
– Few good people have scented blood cut the crap! Get lost where’s the phone? Was deepti here? Where’s the phone? Hello.. Even after picking up.. Hello.. Anjali here.
– Anjali, who? What.. ? Anjali.. How are you?
– You’ve forgotten me I’m not a fool to forget you. –
Then tell me, what day is it today? Today? Today.. ? It’s Sunday.
– Did I ask you, swine? It’s Sunday! I know it’s Sunday.
But what’s special today? What’s special.. today.. ? Is it Gandhi’s birthday?
– No! It’s my birthday And you forget that! You
never remember my birthday, Mac don’t cry. I knew it!
Happy birthday to you Then why didn’t you come to
meet me? – You see, I got busy So I couldn’t come. You know,
I had been to the airport Airport? Why did you go to the
airport? Isn’t it Sunday today? Yes, today is Sunday
and your birthday too All the shops are closed, only the
duty free shop at the airport is open I went there to buy a beautiful,
strong and reliable gift for you I got.. damn!
– What happened? I’ll call back later! – What
happened, Mac? You’re coughing who was it?
– It was.. what happened to your voice?
– Sore throat Anyway, there’s good news for you.
– What? My flight timings are changing.
– When? You had a sore throat!
– It’s fine now. When? It will land at 7:30 from tomorrow. You mean you’ll
come 3 hours earlier? I mean, we’ll get 3 more hours Tell me something. Only your airlines
have changed timings? Or all? All the airlines.
– Thank God, I’m saved Saved? From what? What?
– You said, you are saved when did I say that?
– You just did No darling, I didn’t say that.
– You said! You said it! You did too! Why’d I say that I’m saved?
– You did say that. I heard it too Hear that?
– Are you crazy? I swear, I didn’t say that.
This guy is crazy when did I say it? I don’t
like your face! I’ll kill you I’ll shave your head! Who is Sweety? Sweety? Who? Wherefrom? Which one? Sweety Nair! This
letter is addressed to her I want to know who she is.
– Mailed to my address? Yes, your address.
– You are not Sweety Nair? How come someone else’s
letter is dropped here? Look here! What?
– Nothing It’s your address. Sweety Nair,
13th floor, flat no.1.. Balla Vista, port Louis, Mauritius.
– I don’t know who she is I forgot to tell you about it.
– Who is Sweety Nair? Wrong address. It came earlier too.
It’s for a guy downstairs Urmila’s younger sister kokila.. her son is Bakul. Bakul’s uncle.. was married to Rasila.. it’s
their daughter-in-law’s daughter The postman said no one
was answering the door I gave him a glass of water, he
told me to give them the letter I said, I will. So you see,
this is his daughter.. Sweety damn this day It’s so embarrassing. My
own Fiancée suspects me Sweety Nair! know
who Sweety Nair is? A 12-year old girl.
She’s played in my lap I’m so sorry.. come here.
– Don’t do it again. I’m so happy we’re back. The old fossil ruined it what’s your intention?
Had you been a Muslim.. I would read that
you can have four wives But which law offers
this facility for Hindus? Not wives. Fiancées do you know about
this Fiancée thing? Fiancée is a facility that provides
everything that a wife provides Except the nightmares Take good care of women, and
you’ll get the greatest intoxication what are you doing here? Didn’t I ask you to leave? You
are guzzling my liquor, freeloader Get out of here.
– How will you manage three women? How can I leave you alone
in this mess, my friend? You don’t need to worry. I’ve
been doing it since my childhood I’m really worried for you.
– Hands off! You are not worried! You are jealous Get out of here! Out!
– Where do I go? Where you kicked me out from!
– There’s no tap in the bathroom The roof is broken, no pipes.
It’s being fixed I’ll go there as soon as
it is fixed. Promise. Please promise?
– Promise Okay. what happened? You consider me a stranger,
it hurts, friend But buddy, you will
never find a friend like me Shake hands on that Shake hands. Shake hands. Fake, all of them! Local stuff
is better than the imported one Anyway, talk business Babban, tell you something. A
friend in need is a friend indeed Stop beating about the
bush and come to the point Imagine me in that
house instead of Mac How’s that possible?
– Just imagine All right, done.
– I take the girls what.. ?
– Just imagine done. What next?
– Now just imagine this I pay you more
than what Mac pays you That’s a really wild fantasy.
– Just imagine Only imagine? Done can you do for me
what you do for him? Gotcha! So you want to ruin his setups?
– Oh no Suppose he is transferred. The
ladies’ bar he has set up.. with much difficulty, it
has to be kept going, you see damn, you are my dearest friend! One wouldn’t need a foe if he has
a friend like you. You are enough Listen.. if I have my
share of liquor everyday.. then you don’t need to
worry about me. – Promise? Promise Shake!
– One minute First, tell me who gave
him that grand apartment? Money is not a problem.
Mac’s transfer is all I want If possible, to the
India-Pakistan border who do I talk to about this?
– I hate to praise myself I have high connections. My
word means more than the big boss’ You know that very well.
You get the dough You are the best person for such
crooked tasks. It shows on your face don’t worry about
the money. Do the job Forget the job, get the money.
– It’ll be done promise?
– Promise Hello Maggie.. connect me to Mac. Yes, Mac here. Your enemy is
bribing me to expose you He wants to be the captain
of your three-in-one-day All right. I’ll keep an eye on him.
– keep an eye on my pockets too I’m doing this for money. Get that? Strange. People hang up
at the mention of money No No.. Scotch? No.
– Imagine it’s medicine Medicine, yes with soda?
– Yes Good Tell me something what time do you get up?
At six? Five? Four? At four.
– Four? So you’ve been up since long.
You need some rest, right? How can I rest? I’m paid for my work I must work. My father was in
the army. I follow the discipline Even at this age, he
makes you slog like an ass what does he pay for it? Zilch! You are right, but I
don’t take it seriously I take it as a joke.
– That’s your problem In his place, I’d pay you more,
pay you more respect too damn you! You are here to screw me! I’ll hack you to pieces!
I’ll hang you up on the fan don’t you interfere, old fossil wait there, don’t you leave!
You are dead, Shyam! You want to kick me
out and stay here, eh? What are you doing?
– Damn you! You plan to have my Fiancée,
eh? Bloody lecher plotting, eh? Get out of here with your stuff! Pick up your stuff and get lost! Please don’t! Think again!
– Thought! Move it Is this your final decision?
– The ultimate Out!
– Goodbye what’s his name.. ? Padgaonkar He might have an
apartment like this. – What? Nothing what’s his address? Bungalow no.
3, Tulip citadel, Grobe Road.. yes! What? What did you say? – Nothing.
I too need a house to live what’s his name.. ?
– Padgaonkar Yes. Padgaonkar. If I
could get a house like this.. put your stuff down!
You are not an orphan You don’t need to tell others
when there’s a brawl in the family I need to talk to him. – Are
you his business partner? Silly Let go of me! Ma says, never retract your steps But retracting for a friend
proves friendship. Dad said that crap. If we spend more
time with each other.. we might end up killing each other.
– Can I even hit you? You can hit me.. go on.
Am I complaining? Just remember. You’ll never
find a true friend like me Really?
– Really Shake hands How about a Blue Label on the
occasion? – I don’t have Blue Label It’s there. I have
seen it down there Swine! Bloody snooper I’m leaving. Bye where are you leaving?
We’ve stopped fighting I can’t take it anymore. I quit!
– Did I tell you something? You are like daddy. – Daddy? Swine,
old fossil, senile.. is that what you call your father?
– Who is the master of the house? On my face You are.
– Correct. And who is the swine? Who is the swine here?
– Who do you call a swine? Who?
– It’s the wife’s brother That’s family. That makes you family we love you. Did you
think I was cursing you? How silly just a while ago he
hit me.. did I complain? No, because I love him. Such
things happen between friends Make a drink of Blue
Label for uncle, fast I’m not drinking.
– Why not? You will Get on with it!
– Sure Let go Hurry up One for me! Cheers! Cheers! My heart.. as vast as the sea Let me immerse you
in my heart, my love My heart.. as vast as the sea Let me immerse you
in my heart, my love There’s something I
have to tell you.. I wish to ride
these waves, my love lmmersed.. my heart’s immersed lmmersed.. the
heart’s immersed, sweetheart lmmersed.. my heart’s immersed lmmersed.. the
heart’s immersed, sweetheart In your mischievous eyes,
on your breath.. there’s the requital to love My desires, consumed by a storm.. there’s the desire to love In the depths of my craving.. I’m in a daze, my love Immersed.. my heart’s immersed Immersed.. the
heart’s immersed, sweetheart My heart.. as vast as the sea come, let me give
you all I possess If youth is fire.. Love is the water
that extinguishes it It’s true, my love,
better you understand that This restlessness
is like a tempest.. believe me, my love In your arms, I
want to be, my love Immersed.. my heart’s immersed Immersed.. the
heart’s immersed, sweetheart My heart.. as vast as the sea come, let me
immerse you in my heart All I have to say is that I
want to ride these waves.. O my love! Immersed.. my heart’s immersed Immersed.. the
heart’s immersed, sweetheart Brother Makrand! Yes, that’s it You’re screwed!
– What happened? Your fiancée’s
arriving with a rotten fly Looks like he’s related to you.
– Rotten-faced? Sucked-out mango? That’s my uncle what happened, Mac?
– Pooja, wear your clothes quickly My Uncle will arrive any moment,
I’m terribly scared of him He’s like a father to me.
He’s coming to meet you actually So get ready quickly.
– All right Listen.. don’t always rush.
Hear me out first! There’s a girl with him..
she’s like a sister to me So no misunderstandings, okay?
– Why would I misunderstand? Actually, it was only for your
information, okay? So go on.. hurry Let’s go! Quick! My respects, Uncle You ought to have called,
I’d have picked you up which flight did you take?
– From that traffic signal.. to this one, I need a flight?
– I told you! My Uncle never
gives a straight reply! Uncle, this is my friend Shyam.
Shyam, that’s Uncle. Say hello, son This house, Uncle.. it’s
my friend’s, it’s not rented And this guy..
– Babban Babban. He’s my driver.
– Driver? When did you buy a car? Actually, the car I have,
isn’t one I’ve bought The company I work for gave
it to me. – Very big company! Very big company. Come
on inside, Uncle. Please welcome, Uncle You must actually be wondering
what I’m doing here. My friend.. who? – The guy in the
red shirt, long hair Shyam. His sister has a brain
tumor. Any moment now, she could.. As if you’re treating her! I told you! My Uncle
never Gives a straight reply! The last time he cracked
a joke, I vomited blood! Uncle, you’re too much.
– Shut up! What have I said for you
guys to laugh so much? You really want to know?
– Yes! know what, Uncle? We never
laugh in this house.. we only cry His sister’s struggling
between life and death Any moment, she could.. you
know why I’m sticking around here? It’s to give my friend moral support what’s happening here? She’s got very few days to live.
So she goes for the elders’ feet She has a lot of respect for you. The way she looks,
it doesn’t seem.. A well-fed punjabi girl, you see!
– Did someone call me? Yes.. make some tea And guess who this is.. ?
– The one who’ll drink the tea He’s my Uncle! I’ve come to ask you
just one question. Are you serious about the marriage? Of course. – All right then,
I’ll make arrangements If anybody has anything to say..
say it right now. Am I right? I have nothing to say.
You can do as you wish It’s all arranged then! Get on
with the arrangements for the wedding we’re willing!
– Who’s we? All of us are ready!
– All right Are you happy?
– Yes All right. I’m leaving then At least have tea before you leave.
– Are you out of your mind? Tea for Uncle? Uncle
will straightaway.. .. sip champagne at my wedding party! Do not worry, my child.
Everything will be all right Everything will be all right!
Show him out.. my respects, Uncle! And what are you up to?
– Mac darling! This way, Uncle.. please come. I’ll give you a ride
in the company’s car I’m going in a taxi!
– No, not a taxi! You’ll get stuck in a jam, sir!
– Don’t teach me! If I can come, I can also leave
on my own! I don’t need your help! But I need your help, sir.
– I don’t want it! No! Think it over, sir.. sir! –
Stop picking on my brains! Lmbecile! Where did she spring from? Get back in that car,
there’s nobody at home! No problem. – Problems
begin when you go upstairs! Why?
– The door’s locked! I have the keys.
– But you can’t do that.. listen! There’s a different lock there!
At least listen to me! He couldn’t understand a thing! Bye. – Bye. How’ll you open the door when
you don’t even have the key? What’ll you do up there
when there’s nobody at home – Babban! When are you coming back?
– What.. ? She’s going to commit suicide. To
end her life.. she’s not coming back what’s that to you?
This guy’s such a pile on! At least listen to me!
– Shut up! You could climb all over us!
Let’s take the stairs.. come on He’s going to be butchered today! What happened?
– You saw.. ? What did I see? Did you see nothing?
– What’s there to see, kiddo? What? Get that car out, else you’re the
one I’ll see.. c’mon now, move it Hey.. Hello. Hi! Have you taken the day off today?
– Yes, this is my day off It’s great, isn’t it? My
flight timings have changed I can now come back home early.
-Sure, but that’s a problem for others How.. ?
– It changes our timings, too what timings? It was done for
the convenience of the passengers And they love the change.
– Maybe But I know people who have
a lot of problems with it who has problems?
– A friend of mine why? Your earlier timings
were just right for him The airline can’t
keep everybody happy what happened? What’s up.. ?
– I don’t know It happened once earlier when
I was getting off the flight If you wish, may I..
– what? Nothing.. forget it.
– What is it, Sam? You won’t misunderstand if I
say something, will you.. ? What?
– You’ll get me all wrong I won’t!
– You’re sure? My papa used to be an
expert at pulling legs what? Was he a thug?
– No! He was a masseur He used to relieve
pain by pulling the leg My fingers possess the same magic.
Want me to work on you? Do what it takes, Sam.
Just drive this pain away Go in there, change and lie down.
I’ll fetch some oil! What happened.. ?
Want me to carry you? Vanished!
– What’s vanished? The pain has vanished.
– Vanished.. ? Lmpossible! Do this! Do this! Try this! How did the pain vanish so easily?
– It has vanished Thank God. just why I hate this back-ache! Sir.. Mac, this is Deepti.
– Deepti who? From the airport.
– Airport.. ? Oh yes! Stay right there. I’m coming over Okay darling? Bye. Sir, the gate’s over there.
– Oh, damn my memory! You hit me.. ?!
– Let go of my collar! You’re pushing me.. ?
– Go ahead.. bump him off The Singapore flight has landed! There’s no timing for them The Singapore flight lands,
the Bangkok flight takes off! It’s like managing an airport..
– He just doesn’t understand.. Look, he’s still here. Sam, when did you come?
– I’ve been here a long time I’m really famished! Let
me see what’s there to eat we have a problem..
– what are you up to? Lay off! How often have I told you not
to bring mutton into the house? Mutton.. ? Meet my friend. Sam.
– I know him already why did you introduce me again?
– Because he’s the meat-eater! I’m sick of reasoning with him!
Why do you eat mutton.. ? No, that’s no big problem.
– How’s that possible? The stink has spread all over
the house. I can’t eat here anymore No problem, darling.
Let’s go out and eat Very good idea! Make
sure you go out to eat! Especially in dangerous
situations.. – dangerous? I mean, the stink of mutton has
spread all over the house, hasn’t it? It’s very bad for health! It could even cause nose-cancer.
– Really? Really! I swear it on everybody!
Myself, my dad, mom.. Your friend comes
up with lovely jokes I’m the one who’s
told him all these jokes But timing is of essence!
Must know when to say what! Hurry up.. you know how difficult
it is to find a table? Go on! I’ll just change my shirt.
This one is stinking First grab a bite.
Change that shirt later Lay off, will you?
– You don’t know.. don’t tell me. I know everything!
– Listen to me, Mac.. Are you going to
watch while I change? Quickly change! Else you’ll pay a heavy price! What’s this?
– What? Whose is this lady’s bag? Whose.. ? It’s mine!
– Yours? Actually, I have unusual tastes. It has my mobile,
watch, shaving cream.. brush, blush..
everything. Aren’t you getting ready? What for?
– For the dinner? I think I’m not going.
– Why not? Such a lovely evening.. don’t you like going out with Mac?
– I’m sick of eating out But how can you eat here?
– Why not? I mean, I’m not talking
about the usual roadside eateries lmagine a lovely restaurant,
eating a dinner in candlelight.. .. the soft music.. it’s all so
romantic. So you’re going, aren’t you? No! I’m eating right here.
– Like hell! I mean, how can you eat
in such a filthy setting? You must go out!
– Don’t force Deepti.. if she doesn’t want to go out!
Whatever Deepti wants will happen! We’ll go to the restaurant if
she wants to go. Else, we won’t! Don’t you know how to
behave with a friend’s fiancée? Aren’t you ashamed of?
– You must go to the restaurant! We’re not going! What
are you going to do? A friend’s true worth you’ll know..
– I know your two-penny worth! Whatever you say, you’re
not eating in this house! You’re going out! Even
if I have to lose my life! Why are you fighting over me?
Let’s go to a restaurant No, we’re not going!
We’re eating right here! Go! Are you guys eating here? – Yes,
we’ll stuff ourselves right here! The three of you,
you mean. Not everybody what do you mean by everybody?
There are just three of us here! What the hell! Why
are you hitting me? If somebody asks me to
make something else later.. I won’t be able to do it One moment. We’ll cook
what deepti wants today You want to eat cheese?
– Sure what if somebody else asks me
to make something else later? But who else is around?
– He knows And why don’t I know.. ?
What is the problem with you? Look, I don’t have the
strength anymore to.. forget it I can’t, you know.. ?
Better I cook and leave did he have something to say?
– I’ll explain! He can’t cook for all of us! Exactly why I’m saying the two
of you will not eat here! Go out! Forget it. Let’s go out and eat.
– Sure. Let’s go and eat All right. I’ll go and change No.. not in here! That room! Why?
– That’s a better room Shyam, don’t test my patience.
Else, I swear.. Exactly what I’m saying!
Trouble inside, trouble outside what? What trouble.. ?
– Calm down, darling.. I’m going out of my mind!
What are you getting at.. ? What? Can’t you still understand? – I
understand everything, you creep! Leave him alone,
Mac! What are you doing? He’s making obscene gestures.
Like this.. ! Why won’t you let me go in?
– You want to know? I’ll tell you! I have personal things in there.
– What personal things? Hairbrush, toothbrush,
towel.. a whole lot of things As if it’ll kill you
if she sees all that! That’s not all. I’ve put half
a dozen undies up for drying Two of them have holes! I won’t look at them.
– I don’t trust you. What if you do? Your goddamn undies..
– Leave him alone, Mac! Don’t get into a fight. I’ll
go into another room. Okay? Won’t you at least hear me out.. ?
– I don’t want to! I hate going to prison,
else I’d have killed you! I wanted to tell you..
– what.. ? What’s happening here? The mains were
switched off and I escaped! I was telling him that they took
off the main switch in the office.. and I escaped getting a shock.
But when did you come? Just now. I wondered
what was happening here You escaped this time.
But not forever! Good bye! Hey, listen.. where are you going?
– I want to live! And heart-attacks are
very common nowadays Mac, what’s happening here? He’s leaving us and
going away. Tell him to stay why are you going? I won’t go, if you say I didn’t know you’d
be coming so early. Must finish my work in the office You’ll leave me all alone?
– I’ll be here with you I’ll come back soon. We’ll
have a quiet dinner and.. The cheese-pakoda is ready cheese-pakoda? Who is it for?
– Cheese-pakoda.. ? It’s for Shyam.
– Me? Yes. – yes. For me He eats cheese four times a day!
Morning, afternoon, evening and night! You’ll bloat up like a buffalo! No big wonder! He even
looks like a pakoda! All right, throw it away!
We’ll have only what Sweety likes Throw it away! You
know how I hate pakodas do the dishes immediately and
make curry and rice for everyone Oh god. what soup have I landed in.. ? I’m always getting into this mess.. These fools play their own game
and I’m the one who gets hurt. I’m going for my work-outs. – Yes,
darling! You build good health I’ll take care of the office!
And we’ll have dinner together! Let me go!
– So sweet! Couldn’t you tell me Sweety’s here?
– As if you were listening! Well? Haven’t you guys
finished fighting yet? We’ve made peace! Let’s go and
eat dinner somewhere in peace what made you change your mind?
-But you said you wanted to eat out! Let’s go!
– But I said that.. only to stop you from fighting!
Forget it, darling. Please! No way! We’re eating out! But you said you’d do as I say!
– And that’s what we’ll really do All I want is..
– The rice and curry is ready Listen to me, will you? – Who
asked you to make rice and curry? We planned to go to
a restaurant and.. the curry and rice was his idea!
He keeps hogging on it! You’re going to bloat like a rhino!
How much are you going to eat? I’ll have only cheese-pakodas.
– I’ve thrown that away Threw it away? What for? Because of him! He asked him to! I said I don’t want
it.. throw it away! Our table is already booked.
So let’s go and eat. Please! Throw it all away All right. I’ll go and change Step aside what happened.. ?
– Gases! Smelly burps! Must be acidity! I’ll go
and fetch the medicine! Where are my clothes? And you.. ? You’re still standing here?
I’m not going inside! Idiot. – Stupid. Can’t you walk a bit faster? –
couldn’t wear the clothes, could I? Drink this. It’s a little bitter
but it’ll drive away the gases Thank you.
– I’ll take a shower You think you’re watching a
movie here? Get on with your work! No movie, it’s a farce! Why are you taking a medicine?
– For him. He has gas problems Hey no..
– drink it up! In one gulp! He’s going to lose all his gas.
– How’s this dress? Fantastic!
Mind-blowing. You’re looking sexy. Now go and call the elevator
up while I finish talking to him But you guys just don’t
seem to finish chatting! Please, please!
– Okay, I’ll get the lift up.. but I won’t wait another minute.
– Okay, okay! She’s looking so ravishing!
– Never mind! Before I return with deepti,
take Sweety out somewhere! Please. Will she go out with me?
– Think she’s your sister-in-law! My fiancée, after all!
She’ll surely go with you! Mac, you haven’t left yet?
Please go and come back soon! What will I do all alone.. ?
– My love! She’s back, she’s back..
take to your heels! Bye. Bye. I’ve had this lovely dream of
a house in the city of flowers I won the first prize for
this song! – Do you really sing? Of course! Do you like songs?
– Yes, I do So let’s go to a place
where they play great music we’ll have also dinner there.
What say you? But Mac will be coming back.
– I don’t think he’s coming back I haven’t seen a heartless
man like him in all my life! How could he go away to the office.. .. leaving behind
such a lovely fiancée? Had I been in his shoes and a
fire had broken out in my office.. I still wouldn’t leave
you and go anywhere! I don’t know whether what I’m
doing is right.. but do it, I must I want to take you out to dinner You’re taking such good care of me.
– So you’re coming, aren’t you? How can I refuse someone
who has such a large heart? Thank you.
– I’ll be ready in a moment Okay. Bye!
– Hey.. where are you off to? – Who
the hell are you to question me? But you said it was
child’s play for you! That the children are so
grown up, I had no idea Before this game becomes.. .. even more diabolic, I
must leave. Out of my way! Mac’s coming back. Please stay!
– Tell Mac that I have left! HI.- hi. What are you doing here?
– This is where I stay what’s there to be surprised about?
– Out of my way, I say don’t desert this ship! Lt’ll sink! Sunk or ripped apart, I don’t care! Get out of my way!
– Let him go, if he wants to There’s no use
having him here anyway! who the hell are
you to throw me out? You’re right!
– Who are you to order me around? Try doing it where it works!
Let me see who throws me out! She boards an aircraft a few
times and throws her weight around! Where’s Mac?
– I’ve no idea I told him my flight
– timing had changed. He must surely have forgotten wrong! Wrong of him to forget! Had I girlfriend like you,
I’d never have forgotten I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.
– No, I don’t have a girlfriend The doors to my heart
are still open for her Is there anything to eat? Did you say something?
I didn’t hear a word can I have something to eat?
– How about a boiled elephant’s egg? He’s out of his mind! know what?
Let’s go and eat at a restaurant As you wish. At least I won’t
have to see that old fossil’s face! Not in here! That room, over there!
– Why not.. ? This room’s in a mess.
Needs to be cleaned up Go and change in that room quickly. – Okay. – Hurry up.. quick! Sam, which restaurant are we
going to? – Wherever you say. Whose bag is this?
– This.. is my bag! I carry my stuff in this bag.
A comb, ear-buds, talcum powder.. In a lady’s bag?
– No, it’s not a lady’s bag It’s a lady’s and gents’ bag
which looks like a lady’s bag! It’s nice, isn’t it?
– Never mind. How’s my dress? You look amazing!
– What if I carried a scarf? No, you don’t need a scarf!
You’re looking great anyway! Just wait. I’ll show you Shall we.. ?
– I’m raring to go. Let’s get going why are you carrying my bag?
– This bag.. is it yours? I was admiring its beauty And whose bag is this.. ?
– This one? This is mine, too! I thought this bag was that
one and that one was this one.. so I picked that one up.
But this one is mine.. and that one is your bag! Let’s go! What confusion! I ask for the last time. Who
wants to eat and who doesn’t? What do you want to eat, or
what don’t you want to eat! I am ready. Come. Listen to me.. Sam! No cheap snacks here. Get lost!
– Hang on, will you? Sam..
– You can’t go in You take me for a beggar?
I have a car out there! I can’t let you in! Go! Stop troubling us or
I’ll call more security. Go! I wouldn’t even pee in your hotel! Do you have a mobile phone? I’ll have to call the
airport to tell them I’m here Sorry, I forgot to carry it.
– That’s okay Let’s call from the reception If I haven’t the right
to go into my own room.. .. I don’t want to live there! Why are you pushing me.. ? Okay,
do it on your feet Excuse me, can I make a
call please? – Wait please. Pooja! Let’s go to another hotel!
– But what for? Don’t you think this
place is stinking? I can’t smell anything.
– No? I knew you had caught a cold! Nothing’s wrong with me. Stay here,
I’ll make the call and return don’t you trust me? Me? Every time a plane flies
overhead I wonder when.. when my Sweety will arrive.
I mean, my deepti! Deepti! Hear me out, please! What the hell are you doing here?
– And what are you doing here? Of the thousands of restaurants in
town, is this where you had to come? Yes, of the thousands
of restaurants in town.. .. is this where you had to come? I’ll smash your face! You imitate
me? – What the hell are you doing? I’d have gone elsewhere if you
had told me you’re coming here! When’s this mess
going to come to an end! So where’s Sweety?
– Not Sweety. Pooja pooja! Where did she spring from?
– I was leaving the house.. and she just breezed in!
So I brought her here And where is Sweety?
– Sweety’s at home why did you leave her at home?
– As if I could bring them together! So where’s Sweety now?
– I told you, she’s at home! I mean, where’s pooja?
– Pooja’s making a phone call Making a phone call? Yeah okay. I get it. I’m done for.
My game is up How did I get myself into this? Okay fine. Hey! They don’t know each other Oh yes! Thank God! Here’s what we’ll do.
I’ll take deepti home Before I can get there, tell Mambo
to dump Sweety in some other room Okay.. but how?
– How would I know! Must I explain everything? Tell
the old man to think of a way! I don’t know! Ask him to
do it! He’ll find a way out! Excuse me. Where are they.. ? Where’s deepti? And where’s pooja?
– Look for her! I’ll go and find my curse!
And listen.. don’t let her go home.
– Okay Yes sir. Good evening mam. Sam. Taxi. what happened.. ?
– Sorry! Deepti! Deepti! Open the door! Deepti! He’s going to get butchered today! Chhotu, fetch the car! keep going! Step on it! Driver, follow that car. Quick! Pooja! Stop there! Move it, driver.
– Hey, wait there! Move it, I say!
– Hey wait.. Okay, pooja. I’m coming.
– C’mon in. Hurry up! What are you up to? Terribly insensitive of you
to dump me and go back home! I saw Mac there. – Pooja,
my heart craves your love.. and you’re running after Mac? A man who ignored you,
despite hearing your voice? That’s because..
– I understand! Oh yes, I do No one in the world values true love The one I always see, the
one closest to my heart.. if there is anyone..
it’s only you But that’s a song, isn’t it?
– Hmmm.. no! Is it really a song? Stop the car. Stop it! Stay here. I’ll be right back.
– But where are you going? Sam!
– One second! Mambo, give me a glass of water where can I find a phone?
– Over there Mambo, listen carefully. It’s me Sorry. Damn it! The Singapore flight
is soon landing there But fix the Bangkok flight, so
it doesn’t wake up before morning! You understand.. ? The Bombay
flight is right here with me Bomb.. ?! I mean, the
Mumbai flight is here with me It’s about to take off, but I’ll
make sure it doesn’t get there! So do just as I say! It’s a
question of life and death! From what he was saying,
he appears to be a terrorist He’s planning something big.
Like hijacking a plane Let’s stop him
till the cops get here Okay.. yes! Where to, smartass?
– Home You can’t leave,
until the police arrive police.. ? – We know everything!
Filthy terrorist! Mambo, have you ever fallen
in love? – With only my wife do you have a wife?
– I did, but not anymore She eloped with my younger brother But I’m very lucky in this respect. Sure. You don’t
have a younger sister I’m so lucky, Mac won’t
even look at a girl except me How’d you know how
many roving eyes Mac has? If you’re still listening,
let me tell you.. whatever I’m doing is
not of my own volition I’m helpless. They’re making
me do it. Do you understand? Since they’re paying me,
I’ll have to do their bidding Mac.. I’m Mambo! Mambo! Mambo! Mambo! Was that a sleeping
pill or an aphrodisiac? Mac. Mac. Uncle. Did you fix the girl?
– Fix? I only gave her a sedative,
I can do nothing else The next flight is arriving.
Before it lands, let’s move this one Sorry.. She’s become as heavy as a pumpkin.
– Shut up, jinx If something happens to her..
I’ll end up in jail. Do you want me
to rot in jail at this age? You.. ? How did
you arrive before me? – Used my brains.. I mean, body I didn’t want to see your
face red with anger. Come here Look! I have thrown
all the underwear away You can sleep in peace now.
– I don’t want your sympathy Not sympathy. You have a right
on me. This is what you call love Let alone underwear, for your
sake I’ll even throw myself out! You just want love, you are
not willing to return love don’t be so cruel, love. Time
will prove how much I love you Lies! You can never
understand a woman’s feelings Let alone one, I understand
many women.. I’ve read that book The Fundamental
principles of woman psychology Lies! All lies! I know you
are having other affairs too what are you saying?
This is preposterous You are being preposterous! Woman! Stay like a woman, and
behave like one. Not like a whore See? Your servant is
humiliating me! – One minute Old swine! How dare you
talk to a woman like that? I will kick you. I’ll break your jaw I’m in a bloody mess and you are
raving about women’s character Smartass, I’ll thrash you! Deepti, listen to me. My love.. my darling, listen
to me, open the door My honey, my baby, my sweetheart.. Bye. I’m leaving where to? I’m your boss, I pay you You can’t leave
without a month’s notice Notice? I serve you notice
everyday, but you take no notice You think you can swear
at me at will? Can you? I’m leaving!
– Listen to me, you can’t.. I don’t want to listen.
I have taken enough I’m leaving.
– You can’t leave pooja, I was just
thinking about you. Where you are, how you are! And here you are! Looks
like it’s my day. Ask him You don’t need to worry about me.
– Why? I need to talk to you, it’s urgent.
– Urgent, my foot! I want to talk to you in private It’s special what happened?
– I won’t speak much. We’re parting don’t even joke about it.
It’ll break my heart You don’t have a heart.
We can’t carry it further This relationship has no future.
– Pooja, what are you talking? I always believed
you will be my wife. I hadn’t met Shyam before, you see Hang on. How did you and Shyam.. ? He is not like you.
He doesn’t wear a mask If we part, fine. But
don’t get close to him You don’t know how cunning
and slimy he is. I’ll tell you I’ll expose him. You
mustn’t trust anyone so soon Spending time with me doesn’t prove that your love for me is true pooja, listen to me. I.. Mac, no need to be angry.
It’s all over between us Forget me. I’m leaving pooja, we are made for
each other. Listen to me.. pooja, don’t do this Hope all’s well?
– No. But it will be It’s a beautiful paradise. I
can’t see it turning into hell Bye. where’s he going?
– I’ll tell you. Wait, I’ll tell you Listen, Shyam.. I planted a sapling..
– when? Long time back,
before you even arrived I watered it, provided manure,
saved it from insects.. it grew big, bigger, huge Then it gave flowers and fruits One day, a swine plucked a
fruit and began eating it Now you tell me, what must I do? Why don’t you just thrash the
swine? – Trust me, you are right! You.. Mac. Where friends meet, there’s party Swine! May you rot.
– Hi! Hi! – I love you. I love you too. Sorry, I left you
alone and came here Never mind.
– I’ll have some water where are you going?
– Don’t you talk to me! I’m sorry, I blew up at you.
Please forgive me I need to apologise, love.
Why must you? Go and take some rest.
Take care of your skin Swine! You made my life miserable what’s going on? She’s come. What’s going on here?
– Nothing. I’m giving him a massage This is a special massage.
Stretch your hands Get up, Sam I need to talk to you,
it’s about our future – Okay. I’ll be back, darling. Okay? Want to hit me more? Go ahead Mambo quit. If you say,
I’ll leave too But if I leave, it’ll be
difficult for you to manage this game Think it over All right. From now on,
pooja is yours deepti and Sweety are mine.
– Okay we won’t interfere. Promise?
– Okay And listen.. when the girls
leave for work in the morning.. we’ll sit and design the
future plans of this game Okay.
– Done? Good night where are you going? Pooja is there Hurry up, deepti. It’s
time for your flight Sam darling, hurry up.
It’s time to leave.. Tone it down! You’ll wake everyone Everyone? We are
only three of us here. – I mean.. the neighbours They already have
complaints against me. Speak softly All right. Mac, I’m
sorry about yesterday I spoke too much.
I said that because I realised you are
a first rate fraud Forgive me.
– I forgave you last night itself I forgive women on the spot You look great in this dress.
– Thank you No time to romance. Leave,
it’s time for her flight Okay. Let’s go.
– Bye who is this?
– Who? Who is who? She.. ? She’s Sam’s fiancee Let’s go, deepti.
– Hang on, Mac You should also
introduce her, don’t you think? Don’t you know each other?
She is deepti c’mon, you are late. – No. The
introduction is not over yet Tell me, how did this girl
land here? – She took a cab what has she to do with this house? – What has she to
do with this house! Deepti is an airhostess,
and Sam’s fiancee pooja is also an airhostess Amazing! Both are airhostesses.
Same uniform too what a coincidence! Let’s go One minute! What were
you doing in this bedroom? Tell her.
– I was putting on my uniform putting on her uniform. She
is an airhostess, after all She’s not a banker deepti, time for your flight. Move Sam! Do you know her? Why is she here? Please tell me Tell me. One minute. You never
told me you had a fiancee Actually, we met just last night we fell in love just last
night and we decided to marry where did you meet her?
– Bella Vista, floor no. 13.. It’s this house!
– That’s right How is Mac related to her?
– Mac.. ? Did you hear her? She’s
asking about our relationship we’ll go mad, let’s go – Mac. I want an answer! You haven’t given a proper introduction of this girl He is my fiance when did he get engaged to you?
– Been a long time This fiance of yours was
my fiance until yesterday That’s right. She
was my ex-girlfriend But I was your boyfriend.
– One and the same thing I’m not denying it.
One and the same. But now she is his girlfriend But I met Sam just yesterday.
– She’s right And we fell in love!
– Hear that? You trust me now? All right, now I understand.
The two of you are hand in glove Stop raving. If you want,
you can marry him On the contrary, you
betrayed me. But I forgave you.. because you belong to a
decent family. Don’t forget that Shut up! You have
been playing games.. .. with the two of us all this while Quiet! Just keep quiet. It’s history!
Let bygones be bygones The two of you have
opened our eyes, put us on the right track,
that’s it Sam, from now on pooja
belongs to you and deepti is mine No other girl will
come into our lives again It’s a sin even to
think about it, remember put your hand forward.. do it! Give him your hand, pooja don’t think much, give him
your hand before you miss your bus Right Deepti. That’s like it. We’ll stay
together from now. Fine? We won’t ever cheat.
We’ll always stay together I love you. I love you. – I love you. Mac darling, who are these girls? Run! Run! Start the motorcycle Idiot. quick! Swine, start it! Giving you a motorcycle is
like feeding nuts to a dog Start it!
– You start it Brother Mac! What happened?
– You are ruined! How do you know that?
– Nageshwar.. The white spot?
– Yes. Anjali greased his palm.. and he told her
everything about your setups May he be ruined! He’s nailed me I have lost her, and the others
too. – The other girls too? How? Wait here, they will be coming
with brooms, knives and missiles Ask them, and they will tell you where do I go? Where do
I kill myself? – Listen! Before Anjali leaves for India,
go and apologise to her Else, you’ll lose her forever. Go! I’ll drive!
– Easy with the door Alright! Get inside. Get inside Shyam, I’m off! Get the
motorcycle over tomorrow, swine! Uncle, where’s Anjali? She left. And why not? She has
found out everything about you You were her greatest mistake You can’t belong to one girl For you, women are playthings!
And Anjali is not a plaything Go away. And keep the
game of musical chair on Go on, forget her. Go what time is her flight?
– 6:30 Thank you No, I’m not going!
– I just want to see the time Time, all right.
– 6:00! One minute. Air India flight?
– Took off when?
– Half-hour back Now stop this game of romance,
I’ve had enough! I don’t have the strength,
I can’t take it anymore! Anjali..
– No need to say anything I have told her everything,
and she has forgiven you This ring is the root cause
of all misery. Take it off And put it on my
sister-in-law’s finger. For good All’s well that end’s well!
From now on, focus only on family Run! Run! Give me the car key, Babban! “Come here, baby.” Baby.. baby.. Baby.. baby.. kiss my baby.. kiss my baby.. Your eyes are like Garam Masala.. Your beauty is like Garam Masala..
Your smile is like Garam Masala You’ve enchanted
my heart and soul.. kiss my baby.. kiss me baby..
your lips taste like wine.. kiss my baby.. kiss me baby..
you’re Garam Masala.. kiss my baby.. kiss me baby..
your lips taste like wine.. kiss my baby.. kiss me baby.. “Put your hands up, boys.. put
your hands up, girls.. Indians!” “Put your hands up, boys.. put
your hands up, girls.. Indians!” It’s so difficult.. so
difficult to control the heart.. whoever sees you.. goes crazy.. It’s so difficult.. so
difficult to control the heart.. whoever sees you.. goes crazy.. Your style is Garam Masala..
Your complexion is Garam Masala.. Your love is Garam Masala..
Your body is Garam Masala.. You’ve enchanted
my heart and soul.. kiss my baby.. kiss me baby..
your lips taste like wine.. kiss me baby.. kiss me baby..
you’re Garam Masala.. Your mesmerizing beauty..
your tempting youth.. One day you shall become the queen of my dreams.. Your mesmerizing beauty.. your tempting youth.. One day you shall become the queen of my dreams.. Your love is Garam Masala.. Your beauty is Garam Masala.. Your style is Garam Masala.. Your body is Garam Masala.. You’ve enchanted
my heart and soul.. kiss my baby.. kiss me baby..
your lips taste like wine.. kiss me baby.. kiss me baby.. you’re Garam Masala.. kiss me baby.. kiss me baby.. kiss.. kiss.. kiss me baby.. Your eyes.. – Garam Masala.. Your words.. – Garam Masala.. Your beauty.. – Garam Masala.. Your style..
– Garam Masala.. You’ve enchanted
my heart and soul.. kiss my baby.. kiss me baby.. your lips taste like wine.. kiss me baby.. kiss me baby..