Hamara Bajaj – Stand-Up Comedy By Yash Bajaj

Hamara Bajaj – Stand-Up Comedy By Yash Bajaj

Give it up for Yash Bajaj What comes first in your mind when I call my name as Yash? Any nice names that pop up in your head? Any nice names? See when I call my name as Yash right, people do this. They either think of Yash Oberoi or Yash Singhania or Yash Raj Like they imagine myself to drive a BMW or something That’s great until I tell my surname Because my surname is BAJAJ I know that BMW in your head became a Chetak Because if your surname is a company name, your childhood is gone Because where ever I went, all my friends use to tease me HAMAAAARA BAJAJ Mummy aap toh mat karo yaar My best friend used to come up to me and used to kick me and tell, Chal BAJAJ Scooter Have you heard of this platform called Quora? I think Indians have collectively ruined Quora The kind of questions they ask!! One guy asked a question What is the right time to propose to my girlfriend?? Log answer bhi kar rahe hain..DURGASHTAMI. Stupid Shit Man Because of all these reasons right, I am going to name my son as HAMARA I am going to introduce everybody like that only Han mein Yash hu, ye meri wife hai aur ye HAMARA bajaj hai Also, when I was a kid right, my school had started a trekking trip to Rohthang pass Have you guys heard of Rohthang Pass? So, me and my brother got extremely excited So, we went to our dad and this is what we told to our father Dekho, Papa saare friends ja rahe hain, it’s 5000 Rupees per person, we wanna go! My father just heard 5000 And his middle class mentality triggered So, My dad looks at my mom and makes up a reason My dad looks at my mom and he’s like suno ye toh bohot risky hai Rohthang Pass wagera Apni chachi gayi thi waha, her leg slipped off the cliff Ye toh bohot risky hai ! To which, my Mom says Acha, to fir ek hi ko bhejte hain Like till now, me and my brother were fighting if there’s a budget constraint who’ll stay back? Now, me and my brother are fighting if there’s a love constraint who’ll stay back? But Rohthang Pass was amazing guys, I absolutely loved it! 2 Things were clear that day 1. Rohthang Pass main Maggi bohot tasty milti hai 2. Aur mere ma baap mere se pyaar nahi karte And if you knew me as a kid, there was no reason to love me because I was a weird kid, I used to make assumptions and I used to preach to people I used to go to the mall with my father I used to see those signboards where SALE used to be written and I used to read that as साले bachcha tha mujhe kya pata But doubts the mereko genuine Papa ye log साले bol toh rahe hain Lekin ye log 50% साले kyu bol rahe hain? Sharam aa rahi hai kya inko? My dad used to be like Aaajkal bohot gaali de raha hai tu Kaha se seekh raha hai ye sab Bhosadike But, I studied in this college called IIT Kharagpur And I passed out in 2015 Kharagpur mein there are only two things famous. One is the IIT and second is the railway platform You guys know the fact about the platform? The platform is so long that there can be 3 trains on the same platform at the same time which means you don’t just have to know the platform number of your train you also have to know the section of your train there’s a section A, section B and section C So, if you just know your platform number and don’t know your section number you might end up in a wrong train toh mere sath bohot baat hua aise mein galat train mein chadh jata tha like once I had to go to Kolkata but the train started moving in the opposite direction So, I started panicking Shit! Fuck! Kya ho raha hai mere sath? But luckily, there was TTE beside me Sir dekho na, ye train udhar ja raha hai Udega kya nahi toh? Mujhe toh Kolkata jaana hai! Ye train toh Bhuwaneshwar ja raha hai OH SHIT, MEIN FIRSE GALAT TRAIN MEIN CHAD GAYA!! TT is like wo sab toh thik hai Malgaadi mein kaun chadhta hai? The fuck enters a goods train? I was like TT! Aap maalgaadi mein kiska ticket check kar rahe ho? OH SHIT, MEIN FIRSE GALAT TRAIN MEIN CHAD GAYA!! *blushes* I joined this amazing company, I won’t name it obviously it’s recording At the end of my first month, I had to buy a credit card To buy a credit card, you need a salary statement. I download my salary statement I don’t have the printer set up on my laptop So, I do the next logical thing I email my salary statement to my colleague Blank Email, Blank Subject, 1 Attachment My Salary Slip I had to send it to Pavan Singhal But, I had accidentally sent that to Pavan Sharma who happens to be a Senior VP at my company I’ll break it down for you guys What my Senior VP one day sees is One new hire at the end of his first month is sending a blank email blank subject, 1 attachment which is his SALARY SLIP!! Wo bhi khol ke dekh raha hoga, Kya KAM PAISE HAIN KYA??? ITNA DIRECTLY KAUN BOLTA HAI BADHANE KE LIYE???? FUCKING BLANK EMAIL!!!! I was about to write in the subject Sub : Bhai Print Out Nikal De!! Secret Santa Day hua hai kisi ke office mein? Kya mila aapko sir secret santa day mein? Audience : Pen TCS mein kaam karte ho kya aap? Secret Santa day happens during Christmas Aap log gifts de sakte ho to each other anonymously Mein jab kisi ke liye gift leta hu mein mehnat karta hu Inko pen pasand hai, mein inko pen dunga! Unko tshirt pasand hai, mein unko tshirt dunga! You know what I got? I GOT A TOY SCOOTER!!!! Scooter pe button tha, button dabane pe awaaz aati thi HAMARA BAJAJ!!!! Share karo isko!

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  1. Thank you for all the views. Here’s my Insta and Facebook page handle : yashbujazz

    Do follow me for more fun stories. 😬

  2. Thank-you Ma-sterπŸ™πŸ‘πŸ‘ŒπŸ¦‡πŸ€‘πŸ¦‡πŸ˜ŽπŸ€£πŸ¦‰πŸ£πŸ•ŠοΈπŸ’πŸ»πŸ₯‚πŸ’–πŸ’“πŸ•ΊπŸ’ƒπŸ˜˜πŸ˜πŸ•ŠοΈπŸ•ŠοΈπŸ•ŠοΈ

  3. These comedians (esp IIT alumnus) wasting taxpayers money..! You should have realised your potential much before joining IIT..!!!

  4. Yeh gayi Ek aur IIT ki seat. πŸ˜€. Isro drdo mein an LPU ke engineer jaa rahe hoonge . IITians toh saare Jokes Maarke channel subscribe kar rahe hain πŸ˜€. Entrance exam mein Mene bhi comedy ki par pata nahi Kyun admission nahi mila. Mein toh matlab Bhut hoshiyaar tha engg ke baad wali cheese muje aati thi , jokes ! Par exam mein poocha numerical πŸ˜…

  5. Hey yash . its 2019 and kgp has just a and b platforms.. So easy right? And any suggestions to go into IIT . im aspiring

  6. ask me about name problems…
    my birth name is Bezalel Dmello…
    school friends named me Buffalo Dumbfellow…
    Voter ID has it as Bilal Damle…

    so Bajaj bro…im only another victim of name-rape πŸ™„

  7. i know that you were working with amazon and i really miss bajaj uncle in chennai he use to come to our house almost every week and we use to have a lot fun by the way this is abhiram sudhakar uncle's son hope you remember me waiting for a reply

  8. Somehow yash tell us he is pass out from IIT.
    Umm may be he wanna tell us m bs lag he chutiya raha hu …Hu nhi.

  9. So how is proposing on Durgashmi is stupid, wah what a CIVILIZED, EDUCATED, WESTERN thinking…WAH. Yeh, now call be a Bhagat.

  10. Bc mera to first name hi 'Paras' hai.. Maa k lode chaati k niche bottle rakh dete the dost.. Laa duud nikal chai bana k piyenge.. Haramjaade saale

  11. Dude.. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚… Epicness of this standup is damn high… Maalgadi me kaun chadhata hain… Aapka maalgadi me kiska ticket check kar rahe ho… Shit me galat train me chaad GayaπŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

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