Would you like a free
handwriting analysis? It’s compliments of the mall,
it’s totally free. Free handwriting analysis? You guys down to do it?
-Yeah. Great. Have a seat. First sign your name. “I can tell
by your signature…” I can tell
by your signature… “…that you’re Jewish.” …that you are Jewish. Okay. No, I could tell
by your signature. That’s just backup proof. [ Laughter ] Let’s write a sentence now, Samuel. “I’m going to an interview.” “I am going
to an interview.” “Wish me diarrhea.” [ Laughs ] “Wish me” —
“wish me… diarrhea.” “Diarrhea”? Yes. And the reason we write that is because — No reason. No reason. [ Laughter ] Now, you see how you didn’t put a period at the end of the sentence? Q: “Do you know
what that means?” Do you know what that means?
It means that you, my friend… “Have recently…” …have recently… “…had intercourse.” …had… [ Laughter ] Oh, okay. [ Ding! ] Okay. Put your bag down. Relax. Okay. So, what I need you
to do — I need to you write
a sentence for me. “Do you know…” “Do you know…” “…where a fella…” “…where a fella…” “…can get his hands…” “…can get his hands…” “…on a tampon?” [ Laughter ] “…on a tampon?” [ Laughing ] Oh. What? [ Laughter ] Interestingly, your signature
is extremely strong. “Hold up
your pimp hands.” Uh… “Show me your pimp hand.” Let me see — Let me see your pimp hands. Let me see your pimp hand for a second. Yeah, let me see it. [ Laughs ] You don’t have
a pimp hand? There you go. Okay.
So, let me see it. “All right, just slap me gently across the face.” [ Laughter ] Okay, I need to see how strong your pimp hand is. Okay. So, if you could just slap me a little bit. What? I ain’t got your money. I ain’t got your money. Where’s my money at,
bitch? [ Ding! ] [ Laughter ]