-Welcome back to the show. -This is ridiculous.
-How you feeling? -Why would you do that?
[ Laughter ] -Why did we do that?
-Why would we do that? Why would we do that then this?
-I don’t know. I just figured we’d go
right into the interview. [ Laughter ] How are you —
How are you feeling right — -Not good, not good.
-We have bread. -I’m good.
-We have bread, we have milk. [ Laughter ] -I’m gonna be okay.
I’m gonna be okay. [ Laughter ]
I’m strong, I’m strong. Jerry from “Cheer” yesterday
told me I’m strong. -All right, good, yes.
All right, good. [ Cheers and applause ] -Whoo! -Since I’ve seen you last,
You’ve gotten eng– [ Laughs ] -Thank you, thank you,
thank you. I’m sorry.
-You got engaged — You got engaged.
-I did, I got engaged. Thank you.
-You got engaged. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Thank you, thank you. ♪♪ -You got engaged.
Tell me the story. [ Laughter ] -So, I got engaged in the
Bahamas, and I took my fiancée, and I had it all set up. I had a photographer,
everything. I set up —
Jesus Christ. [ Laughter ] I’m fine.
It was so beautiful. [ Laughter ] So we had, like, this
30-yard-long pier, and I tried to trick her
so she didn’t know, so it was a surprise. So she’s in high heels
walking down this 30-foot pier, and she’s like,
“Why are we walking 30 yards –” I said, “Babe, just come on.
Let’s go.” And so we’re walking down
this pier, and all of a sudden,
there’s a fire at the end of it. She’s like,
“Why is there a fire?” And I was like, “I don’t know. Maybe somebody’s
got something special going on. But not us, somebody else.”
[ Laughter ] And so we keep walking,
and then you hear this drone buzzing overhead — brbrbr. And she’s like,
“Why is there a drone overhead?” I said, “I don’t know, babe. Maybe somebody’s
got some big surprise going on. But not for us.”
[ Light laughter ] So I get down to the end,
I drop to a knee. I said,
“Babe, will you marry me?” She said yes.
Somebody took a picture. Guy came out of a bush,
he took the picture. There was a yacht
in the background. You have the picture.
[ Laughter ] I told her the yacht was ours. It’s not,
but it looks beautiful. -[ Laughs ]
That is the moment right there. [ Cheers and applause ] I saw her backstage.
She’s gorgeous. -Thank you.
-Congratulations. -Thank you.
-Does J.J. Watt care about the wedding planning,
the flower arrangements? -J.J. Watt doesn’t care about
anything right now, man. [ Laughter ] I don’t care about the flowers,
I don’t care about anything. I want the food.
I’m a big food guy, so I told them…
-Oh, really? -…”I’ve gone to
a lot of weddings. I’ve eaten chicken breasts.
I’ve eaten 4 ounces of steak.” I said, “I want —
My guests are from Wisconsin. We’re bigger people.
I want a buffet, so…” [ Laughter ] I mean, it’s —
Yeah, it’s not like a Chinese buffet, guys, okay?
[ Laughter ] -A real buffet.
-It’s, like, prime rib. Like, it’s a buffet.
-Yeah, you’re going for it. -I mean,
I want my guests to be full. -Full.
I heard there’s a rumor that Arnold Schwarzenegger offered to
be the minister — -Officiant, officiant.
-Officiant, yeah, sorry. -Officiant.
-Sorry. I’m just freaking out right now.
-I know. [ Laughter ]
Officiant. He wanted
to officiate your wedding, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
-He did. -Is he going to?
-No. [ Laughter ]
He did — He did offer,
and it was very generous. But then, I figured
he’s probably busy, but then I also started
picturing in my head… [ As Schwarzenegger ]
“Do you take this woman to be your wife?”
[ Laughter ] [ Normal voice ]
And I thought, for the video… -“You may kiss the bride.
You may kiss the bride now.” -“I’ll be back.
I’m going to get the rings.” [ Laughter ] And then, we’d get married.
He’s like, “Get to the chopper.” “Arnold,
we don’t have a chopper. -“We don’t have a chopper.
There’s no chopper.” We have a mutual friend,
Justin Timberlake. -We do, yeah.
-He’s a great guy. [ Cheers and applause ] I love that guy.
Where did you guys meet? -We met backstage at one of his
shows early in my career, and I actually asked him
for a sack da– or, a touchdown dance
because I was playing a little tight end then. And I was like, “Hey, man, can
you give me a touchdown dance?” I didn’t know what to ask him. I mean, I was excited.
-Yeah. -And he gave me like a 45-second
choreographed touchdown dance. [ Laughter ] It was incredible,
and he did it in front of me! And I’m like,
“You’re literally one of the best dancers on the planet. I’m a 290-pound defensive end. I also don’t have 45 seconds on the field
after the touchdown.” -A 45-second touchdown dance. -I don’t have any time for…
-Did you try it ever once? -I tried it right in front
of him right there, and then he was like,
“I don’t think that was it.” I was like,
“I don’t think that was it. I didn’t think it was it
when I was doing it.” -Do you remember
any of the moves right now? -No, I don’t remember any of it.
It was too long. [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] Oh, oh, my God! Uh-oh.
All right, all right. Okay.
-What the hell is it? -You could’ve done that.
They would’ve loved it. [ Cheers and applause ] They would’ve loved that. J.J., you’re hosting
“Saturday Night Live” this Saturday night. Luke Combs, musical guest. Everyone’s
so excited about that. Did you ever dream of being
on “Saturday Night Live”? -Yeah — Well, no.
My dreams never got that big. I’m not gonna lie to you.
-Oh, really? -I dreamed of playing
in the NFL, and I thought that that was as
big as I could possibly dream, and it’s been unbelievable. I never even imagined
being on “Saturday Night Live.” I grew up in Wisconsin,
so I was watching Chris Farley do Matt Foley and I just —
-Really? -Yes. Iconic.
-One of my favorite, too, Matt Foley.
-It was insane. I mean, it was unbelievable.
So, watching him, “…in a van down by the river,” with government cheese,
being from Wisconsin. -Yeah, that’s a good man.
So this one’s for Farley. -Yes, absolutely.
-Is there any relation — correlation from the NFL
to “SNL”? -This week has been crazy.
I think — as you know, obviously, I don’t think people
truly understand and appreciate how a “Saturday Night Live” show
is put on. I mean, I got there on Monday,
just like a football week. You get there on Monday,
you’re performing on Saturday. But the week of preparation,
they’re putting out new skits, they’re putting out
new costumes, new sets. It’s truly — I’ve never
seen anything like it. So the people at “SNL,” I have so much more respect
for already this week. -Yeah, well,
you’re gonna crush it. We’re looking forward
to watching it. I love you, buddy, you are a —
-I appreciate it, man. Thank you.
-You’re a hot one, buddy. -Yeah. Thank you.
-You are a hot one. -Thank you.
-J.J. Watt, everyone.