Key & Peele – Obama Shutdown

Key & Peele – Obama Shutdown


[jazz music starts playing] ♪ ♪ [clears throat] – OH, HONEY,
I AM TIRED. I AM GOING TO BED. GOOD NIGHT. – UH, WELL… [laughs] – IS EVERYTHING OKAY? – WELL, THAT’S, UH– IT’S–IT’S JUST
THAT I WAS HOPING THAT– WELL, THAT WE COULD– AND I-I WANNA MAKE
THIS CLEAR. I-I-I WANNA
BE STRAIGHTFORWARD. I WANT TO HAVE A– – OKAY.
UH, LUTHER? ARE YOU AVAILABLE
TO TRANSLATE? – YES, MA’AM. [clears throat] – I REALLY WAS HOPING WE COULD
SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER. – WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
WE HAD SEX, WOMAN? REELECTION NIGHT? WHAT DOES A BROTHER
NOT NAMED “BILL CLINTON” HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME [bleep]
IN THIS HOUSE? – WELL, YOU HAVE BEEN
VERY BUSY LATELY. – MM-HMM.
MM-HMM. YOU KNOW WHAT? IF I COULD J–CAN
WE GET YOUR TRANSLATOR? – OH, YES, CERTAINLY.
UH, CATENDRA? – YEAH, HONEY? – COULD YOU PLEASE TRANSLATE “WELL, YOU HAVE BEEN
VERY BUSY LATELY.” – SURE.
– HM. – MY [bleep] AIN’T
ONE OF YOUR LIMOUSINES THAT YOU CAN JUMP
IN AND OUT OF WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE. I DON’T SEE YOU
ALL DAY, THEN YOU WANT
A BOOTY CALL? I NEED AN EMOTIONAL
CONNECTION, [bleep]. – THOUGHT THIS WAS ROMANTIC. – I’M [bleep]IN’
TRYIN’, BITCH! CAN’T YOU SEE? I’M PLAYIN’
THE ROMANTIC MUSIC. I GOT THE PINOT
IN THE GLASSES. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
FROM ME? AN ENGRAVED INVITATION
FROM MY NUTS? – MAYBE WE SHOULD MAKE
A DATE. – WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO DO, JUMP OUT OF MY CLOTHES
EVERY TIME LITTLE BARRY STANDS
AT ATTENTION? YOU AIN’T MY COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF,
MOTHER-[bleep], AND MY VAGINA AIN’T SOME CAVE
IN THE MIDDLE EAST YOU CAN FLY
YOUR HEAT-SEEKING MISSILE INTO WHENEVER YOU FEEL
LIKE IT. – WELL, I-I DIDN’T MEAN
TO CALL YOU, BUT I-I HAD MEETINGS
ALL DAY LONG. – I’M DEALIN’ WITH THESE
MOTHER-[bleep] REPUBLICANS HEARIN’ “NO, NO, NO”
ALL DAY LONG. THEN I COME HOME,
AND YOU AIN’T GONNA LET ME GET MY JAM ON
UP IN HERE? – WELL, YOU KNOW,
I HAVE HAD A BUSY DAY TOO. – YOU ACT LIKE I AIN’T GOT
NOTHIN’ ELSE TO DO, [bleep]. I GOT
THESE OBESE MOTHER-[bleep] ON MY ASS 24/7. WHAT’S MORE IMPORTANT–
YOU GETTIN’ YOUR WICK DIPPED OR SOME EIGHT-YEAR-OLD FAT-ASS
COLLAPSIN’ IN HIS BUNK BED? – OKAY. – YOU SEEM TO BE FORGETTIN’
JOB NUMBER ONE. YOU ARE MY SECRETARY
OF [bleep], BITCH! GET TO WORK! – YOU.
[chuckles] [groaning and moaning] – LUTHER?
CATENDRA? – OH, YES, YES, SIR. – WE’LL–WE’LL TAKE IT
FROM HERE. – ABSOLUTELY–YES, SIR.
– YES, MA’AM. – GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT. – [laughs] [chuckles] – COME HERE.
– OH, THIS FEELS GOOD. – UM, MOM?
DAD? I KNOW YOU ALREADY SAID
THAT I CAN’T GO, BUT CAN I PLEASE GO
TO THE PARTY TONIGHT? – MALIA, USE YOUR TRANSLATOR. – IF YOU DON’T LET ME GO
TO THIS PARTY, I WILL GET A TATTOO ON MY FACE. – HAVE FUN.
– YEAH.

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  1. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿฅฐ

  2. Michelle was the first lady. That means that she should have been the first lady to get on her knees and give him some bottom lip service

  3. obama is boring, his regime was boring, his jokes are boring. he is a boring African American with a British like education

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