Life Sucks – Annoying People at the Movie Theaters.

Life Sucks – Annoying People at the Movie Theaters.


I’m Max. A decrepitly blighted film that entire teams of tirelessly diligent and hard-working masses, would be nothing without the fucking dude clamorously chopping his teeth up and down on the popcorn next to you. Thanks, man! This movie sucks without you here dearly smearing that carved up slush of butter in your mouth. That’s what I need when I watch a movie— your loud chewing noises. Thanks for also taking this time to unwrap your straws, your candy, and nacho bags during quiet moments of dialogue in the movie. It’s usually not distracting at all, and when it is, I very much consider it a good distraction! And it’d be kind of like if someone was bleeding out in front of me while I’m trying to stop it and then you come up next to me, rubbing your dick on my nose. Thank you for that! That’s a very good distraction right there that is. I needed that. You guys know what I’m saying? And then there’s this thing—OH WOW! What is that?! Is that what I think it is? Is that what the movie theater and several advertisements spent up to 10 minutes telling us to silence, turn off, and put away? Is that what that thing is? Wow! [chainsaw and screaming] Good on you! Good on you! Not being able to spend 2 hours away from your fucking phone. And choosing to sit at the very front of the theater. You fucking god damn moron! I mean… You smart self-less, self-restrained, and self-controlled individual. That’s what I meant to say! I also appreciate that the brightness on your phone is on FULL BLAST! You’re so cool choosing to sit in the front of the theater, aren’t ya? You really don’t care if you’re risking everyone in the vicinity hating you, and looking at you like the little dumbass you are. Fantasizing of all the ways we can disembowel your hands from your wrists so you’ll never be able to hold up that phone again. You are so badass for doing that! Not stupid! Not idiotic! Not moronic! You’re a badass. By all means keep doing what you are doing. I just really hope for your sake that no one in this theater is psychopathic and mentally unstable. And children are just the greatest. Who was the dude who thought bringing their screaming one-year-old to the theater was a good idea? Great on you, parent! Who needs babysitters when you can just let your infant child violently screech in a small room filled with paying customers who came to see a movie? You are really an intuitive parent, aren’t you? I bet you come up with lots of good ideas, don’t you? Like if a baby won’t eat food, you just shove it down its mouth, don’t you? And then there’s the people that walk across the screen. Usually, those people who walk by, I don’t have a problem with. It lasts like a second and they are gone. What I do have to question, though, is why someone decided to buy ten things of food, And lay it out all over the floor for where people are supposed to walk. How the fuck do you think I’m supposed to get through you? And you look at me like, “You better not step on my food.” Like it’s my fault that you decided to get a titanic plethora of meals and ass-blasting yourself to oblivion. And then you still have your yet-to-be eaten hot-dogs, popcorn, and pickles all over the floor like no one is gonna have trouble going to the bathroom in a narrow platform. Then again, it’s not your fault that I drink water and stayed hydrated. So fuck me, right? (Talking Noises) Oh, oh, what’s that? Is that something you want to share with the whole class? No, it’s okay, it’s not like I’m trying to pay attention to the story-line of this movie that we are watching. You don’t have to be silent or quietly whisper—PLEASE keep talking in your outside voice. Keep proving yourself to be unfit for modern civilization. It’s not like you’re causing agitation to people who don’t want to be agitated. OH! Is—Is that a laser pointer? Who the—Who the fu—Okay. Tootles

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  1. i rather watch bluray…the big screen quality sucks anyways…hope theatres become obsolete…porn used to be on the big screen b4 vhs video stores took over

  2. I had my volume all the way up so when you started murdering the cell phone I screamed and threw my phone across the room. Now has 3 fresh new cracks on it. 👍🏼

  3. I saw someone on their phone I walked up grabbed their phone and THREW IT ON THE FUCKING FLOOR then I went to the bathroom to not get recognized

  4. I was at a planatorirum, and the bitch next to me, intentionally shone her phone up at the screen to be a bitch. I would love to enjoy the show, but your bitch ass can't fo 45 minutes without going on your phone, and love to inconvience others.

  5. Your brilliant Max! I literally laughed all way through the video coz i can sooo relate. Your great dude. It's amazing how you can make me laugh with videos like this and cry with your serious videos 🙂 🙁
    LUV YA.. Keep going for we support you..

  6. Dude, some people who go to movie theaters are retarded as fuck, if you work in a movie theater you know how it is. Sometimes one person, just one can ruin your entire day.

  7. Haha..um.. hey max dont hate me but.. when i was in second grade i just shouted the ending to a movie cause i already watched it.

  8. You forgot to mention the rude interruption caused by a psychopath bursting in the fire exit with an automatic weapon, shooting the twelve people, returning outside and have a shootout with the police. That really interrupts the flow of my day.

  9. When you're that one kid who's entire family goes to the movies (baby included) and the baby starts crying, it is incredibly embarrassing for you.

  10. 3:32 Seriously, what kind if a dumbass would lay their food all over the floor, God gave them arms and hands, so they can hold it themselves!

  11. Reminds me of the time me and a couple mates were watching a movie, and this guy a few seats behind us was booing and shouting. I wanted to get out of my seat, walk over to him and bitch slap him.

  12. One day i went to cinema to see big hero 6 and a motherfucker 6 year old kid spilled the coke on me and yelled " HEEY WHAT HAPPENED TO HIRO ROBOT?! " then he yelled so much his mom covered his mouse and he bited her moms hand and the mom yelled ._. Idk if i should laugh or cry..

  13. This one time me and my uncle went to a movie theater, and when I went to get buttered popcorn it literally tasted like oil. So we immediately left. The End

  14. at somepoint, they have no problem with that, doing their own business, why'd they give a f*ck what others think

  15. Yeah please do bring your eight kids to a rated r movie and let them loudly comment on the suggestive scenes.

  16. im typing this while sitting in the last row of a movie theater with fairy less people, because i see motherfuckers pointing laser pointers everywhere.

  17. There was this ugly chick in the movies that kept taking selfies so at the end of the movie she took a selfie and I yelled at her to get off her phone and these 2 guys laughed so hard

  18. *Incoming Rant About How Avengers: Infinity War was ruined for me*
    Okay. I had to sit in this small, crowded theatre, there was barely any leg room, the seats in front of my were too high up so I had a hard time seeing, A GROWN MAN WAS KICKING THE BACK OF MY SEAT FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE, A GROWN FUCKING MAN, AND HE KNEW I WAS THERE. I told him to stop about 7 times. My brother was constantly asking my step dad for a drink, so they kept passing the drink over me, he also kept asking for some of my Skittles, like if you wanted some why didn't you fucking get any? About 25% of the people watching seemed to be unwrapping their snacks and it seemed to happen for the whole movie.

    sorry, it's been three months and I'm still pissed off about it 🙂

  19. once next to me were to women who did almost all of this things they ate popcorn very loudly they turned on their phone like every 10 minutes and they had maxim bightness on and other things I wanted to punch them or call some theater employee or something it was soo annoying

  20. God I fucking hate it when a parent brings in a fucking baby. Oh yeah sure it won’t yell or shout at the fucking top of its lungs. Or when a fucking kid starts to kick your chair. Please keep on annoying the fucking hell out of me. God I think I just hate children. Even though I was one. Oh boy I’m gonna get a lot of hate

  21. advice: go to a movie that isn’t super popular and isn’t rated pg or (god forbid) g. that way, no ones in the theater. no annoying ass kids, no idiots who can’t stay away from their phones for 2 seconds without looking at it, no loud eaters, just normal ass people

  22. "Do you people not see the giant movie over here?! Were all the sit-down-and-suck-out-loud places closed?!?!" ~ Strong Bad

  23. Every film. Crying baby.
    Every flight. Crying baby
    Every meal at a nice restaurant. Crying fucking baby.

  24. my dad always wants me to watch movies with him but when i do he chews ice during the whole movie. Couple days ago i turned and asked him if he was going to chew ice during the whole movie and he apologized and said he didn't know it bothered me. Then a few days later it's constant ice chewing. He's been drinking for the past 8 hours and i guess he likes chewing ice but it's really distracting and makes it difficult for me to appreciate the movie. I don't know if he realizes i could just go to my room and watch the same thing in peace with headphones. Trying to chill out but i don't know if i have the patience for this stuff.

  25. one time i went to go see endgame in the theater and this one person would ALWAYS cough during the quiet parts it was annoying

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