Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2013 Gala – Kitty Flanagan

Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2013 Gala – Kitty Flanagan

MC: And next, she’s brilliant, she is Kitty Flanagan. Thank you. Ladies and gentleman thank you for coming out and supporting Oxfam this evening, and thank you for supporting comedians as well. We’ve been losing a lot lately to other art forms. Noone wants the comedian anymore, they want the quirky thing. They want things like burlesque, cabaret. Had to host
a burlesque show the other day that was the only gig I could get. When I say I’m the host that means you get to keep everything on, by the way. It’s not like, you know how a
lot of people always say things to you like oh yeah, I was the receptionist at a
brothel. *crowd laughs* If I did the stats it’s like every brothel’s
had about 10 receptionists and just one really hard-working hooker out the back. *crowd laughs* Like hey, can you receptionists stop taking bookings and get out here and give me a hand. But anyway, I hadn’t seen any burlesque before and now I’ve seen heaps of it and I don’t want to be rude… but I don’t get it. I’m just saying, with all the nudity you can see these days, I don’t know if you’ve heard of the internet. But by all accounts there’s naked ladies
on that thing, twenty-four seven if you want to see it. So you know I’m watching these burlesque dancers out there giving it, ooooh, do you
want to see my nipples? You can’t because they’re covered in tassels. Oooh feathers, feathers, bush, feathers. And I’m watching this thinking what is this? It’s like special needs stripping. They’re out there with their beads and feathers and glitter and sticky on star shapes and sequins. It’s like nudity plus craft equals Burlesque. *crowd laughs* If your first thought is I want to be a
burlesque dancer. Your next thought is, I better get to Spotlight. *crowd laughs* And they go to such elaborate lengths, you know they’ve all got to be different, like one girl covered herself with fruit and
then ate her way to nudity. You know, I just honestly don’t
know why they’re bothering, you know. I don’t know a lot about men so this is
just a guess but I reckon you can probably come out in an old dressing gown. And you could go, I’ve got an old dressing gown on. Now I’m nude, and men would go, alright. Nice nudeness, good stuff. You know I’ve never heard of a man being at a strip club and heckling going boooo, where was the journey? *crowd laughs* I want a narrative, more craft, come on, put some feathers on your fanny, you brazened sl*t. *crowd laughs* My favorite act of the night, was the lady who covered herself in balloons right and she was backstage and she was getting very testy and fair enough no one told us she was on last. So she had ballooned up way too early right. She’s been back there for an hour she can’t sit down. Finally it’s her time to shine. I introduced her, I said ladies and gentlemen I don’t know whatever her name was, Fun bags McGee, and out she came, and this was her act… *hums sultry music* *pops balloon* *hums music* *pops balloons* *crowd laughs* Sure, you can applaud that, but I don’t reckon she thought it through, because at the end of that act she had to walk off stage
looking like she was covered in a bunch of used condoms. Thank you very much. MC: Give it up for Kitty Flanagan.

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  1. Ahaha, the "Boo! Where's the narrative?" bit was from a Sketch Show skit from before she was on the show. Beg, borrow and steal. Onya, Kitty.

  2. Not quite. It was a line from a sketch on the sketch show from series two when I was on the show. And I wrote the sketch. Backatya, David.

  3. Kitty , give me your number, LET ME take you to dinner, YOU are a legend and trully as funny as all hell 🙂

  4. On Netflix you can watch her full show and its exactly the same even though it's a different show still love her though…

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