Mike Pence’s Ignorance Defense | The Daily Show

Mike Pence’s Ignorance Defense | The Daily Show


Impeachment. It’s the “Thank U, Next”
of politics. And today was yet another day
of major development in the unfolding
Ukraine scandal. So, let’s catch up
on all the latest news in our ongoing segment, The Fantastic, Absolutely
Tremendous Road to Impeachment. The only thing
they could impeach me for is for having created
the best economy. No other president should
ever have to go through this. It’s probably
presidential harassment. (cheering and applause) Things went into another gear
on Capitol Hill today as Congress heard
from the first witness in its impeachment inquiry,
Kurt Volker. He’s the former envoy to Ukraine
who resigned last week after it came out
that he had been texting with Trump lawyer
and haunted egg Rudy Giuliani. Now, Volker’s testimony
took place behind closed doors, so we don’t know
exactly what he said. But while he was talking
in private, Donald Trump was letting loose
on the White House lawn. NEWSWOMAN:
This is just breaking. President Trump
leaving the White House, calling on two
different foreign governments to investigate
his political rival Joe Biden. So, I would say
that President Zelensky… If it were me, I would recommend that they start an investigation
into the Bidens. China should start an
investigation into the Bidens, because what happened in China
is just about as bad as what happened with…
uh, with Ukraine. (laughter) This guy is unbelievable. He’s already facing impeachment for asking Ukraine
to investigate Joe Biden, and now he’s like,
“You know what, China? Get in on it, too.
You jump in, as well.” Trump may be
the only person on Earth who thinks two wrong
do make a right. Yeah, in his mind,
he’s probably like, “Yeah, it makes sense. Don Jr.
and Eric cancel each other out. “That means I only have Ivanka. “It works, people. It works. Totally works.” Now, as the scandal develops,
more and more people in Trump’s orbit
are getting sucked in. First, it was Trump’s
personal lawyer. Then it was
his Secretary of State. Like, I wouldn’t be shocked
if next week, we find out Sean Spicer
is also somehow a part of this. You know, it’ll be like,
yeah, he’s been sending secret messages to Ukraine
on Dancing with the Stars. Because that’s…
that’s not dancing. We can all agree, right?
That’s… That’s full-body Morse code,
that’s what that is. (imitating Morse code) But now yet another member
of the Trump cabinet is getting pulled
into Ukrainegate. NEWSWOMAN: This morning,
The Washington Post reporting President Trump
repeatedly enlisted Vice President Mike Pence
to join in his pressure campaign
on Ukraine, the president
reportedly instructing Pence to skip the inauguration of Ukraine’s new leader,
Volodymyr Zelensky. The paper also says
President Trump used Pence to inform Zelensky that U.S. military aid
was being withheld. NEWSWOMAN 2:
White House officials say Pence likely would have received
detailed notes of the president’s call
with Zelensky in his daily briefing book
on July 26. NEWSMAN: The vice president
might be tainted by all of this. If the vice president knew
about that and was involved in that,
to me, that not only taints him, but it makes him ineligible,
as well, for the presidency. Wow. So Mike Pence likely knew
about the phone call, had access to the transcript and personally told Zelensky that he wasn’t getting
his military aid. Pence was so deep in this thing, I bet Mother
considers it cheating. And I’m-I’m not shocked. I’m honestly not shocked
that Pence was involved, because he does
whatever Trump tells him. You realize that, right? Like, you see, Trump is– he’s-he’s Homer Simpson,
all right? And he basically picked
Ned Flanders as his VP. Yeah. If Trump says
jump into that volcano, Pence would be like,
“Okily-dokily, sir. I’ll do it.” But what’s interesting is that Mike Pence doesn’t deny
that he got tough with Ukraine. What he claims is that
it was all totally innocent. REPORTER: Questions swirling
about what Pence knew and when. REPORTER 2: Officials close
to Pence say he was unaware the president
had also pressured Zelensky for damaging information
on political rival Joe Biden. His aides insist
he was in the dark. Okay, I’m not gonna lie.
This is… this is a weird excuse, right? Pence says
he was pressuring Ukraine but he didn’t know it had
anything to do with Joe Biden? That-that makes no sense. So why was he pressuring them?
He didn’t know why? That would be like
a Mob enforcer not knowing what he’s enforcing. Yeah? Just, like,
the guy showing up, like, “I don’t think you understand,
Tommy. My boss wants you
to do that thing.” It’d be like, “What do you want?
What do you want me to do?” “I don’t know. The thing. “I thought you would know.
I just show up “and I go like this
with my hands. “Then people do a thing. I don’t even know what it is!” So, Mike Pence’s excuse
seems to be that he was blissfully unaware, blissfully unaware
of what Trump was really up to. But what’s interesting
is that it seems like this is his excuse
for a lot of things that happen in this White House. REPORTER: Seven people close
to the vice president tell CNN Pence was unaware Flynn spoke to the Russian
ambassador about sanctions. REPORTER 2: He was unaware
of Flynn’s ties to Turkey. Let me say,
hearing that story today was the first I heard of it. REPORTER 3:
Pence was not aware of communications
with WikiLeaks. REPORTER 4: He was unaware
of this controversial meeting. I-I learned
as I awoke this morning of those developments. “Oh, I learned
as I awoke this morning. Yes. #IAwokeLikeThis.” Yeah, apparently, whenever
there’s a Trump scandal, Mike Pence never seems to know
what’s going on. Never. He just has no clue. He’s like every mom
watching a movie. Just like,
“Is that the bad guy?” “No, Mom,
that’s-that’s the Pixar lamp. The movie hasn’t started yet.” “But why did it kill the ‘I’?” “Mom, it’s just a thing.
Just, like, calm– The movie hasn’t started.” My mom used to do that
all the time, by the way. I don’t know if yours did. We’d
be watching a movie together. We’d just started. And you know
how, like, somebody gets killed in the beginning? And then
my mom would be like… (gasps) “Trevor, why did they kill him?”
I’m like, “I don’t– The movie
just started. I don’t know. “I’m-I’m here with you. We just
started watching this together. I’ll tell you at the end.” Because the way,
the way he tells it, Mike Pence doesn’t know about
any of the bad things happening in the Trump administration, which is most
of the things happening. And, I mean, if that’s true, that’s actually not good
for America. Because you realize,
if Trump gets kicked out, Pence becomes president. But, clearly, he has no idea
what’s going on. Right. Which means
he’s just gonna be at the State of the Union, like, “My fellow Americans, “the state of the union is,
uh… “like this? You know? The thing.”

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  1. So the left is being 4 years on the opposition
    and they are going for their 2th impeachment attempt.
    Trump is going to win again.

  2. Someone needs to quietly and carefully change the codes to all nuclear weapons. Trump and Pence aren't going to like seeing their careers implode. They are the type to want to take everyone with them. Better keep an eye on Miller and Mitch Daniels also. Those who live by the sword, die by the word.

  3. Democrats can't beat Trump…so I guess this is the other option. I f they are sucessful I have no doubt they will try to do the same thing to Pence . I hope it fails and Democrats Win fair and square in the election , otherwise this will just cause us to continue to be divided even more .
    Honestly if you are looking for politicians to make changes in your life for the better YOU ARE A FOOL. , Make your life better yourself, not some Dem or Rep that doesn't know you exist. Remember politics is a buisness . I have no doubt I will get all kinds of negative comments and bad language (hope not ) but the extent of our tribalism is destroying our country from within, its not China,Iran,North Korea or Russia . I hope one day we could get a imdependant elected . Makes me sad . Ok go ahead a rip me…

  4. The big difference between Ned Flanders and Mike Pence, aside from one being fictitious and the other not, is that Flanders is actually genuine in his Christianity and not a self-serving, power-hungry hack.

  5. Don’t bother with the impeachment… Trump knows he will get away with all of it … he is taunting the Democrats because they don’t have anything to run on… it’s noise to coverup with what the Saudis are doing and the Kurds getting wiped out .. they don’t want you to notice what’s going on in the background … wake the fuck up it’s a shell game he is playing all of you !!! Trump is a master of deception! What a piece of caca !

  6. Impeach that steaming orange pile of shit and put Pence, Barr, Pompano, McConnell, McCarthy, Graham, Miller, Nunes, Jordan, Gates, and the rest of those idiot minions on trial, and if found guilty sentence them to the fullest extent of the law

  7. ISNT IT FUNNY THAT FOREIGNERS COME HERE BECOUSE THERE COUNTRY DONT LET THEM TALK SO BOLDLY ABOUT THEIR LEADERS. THEY COME HERE AND CRITISIZE AMERICAN POLITICS AND PEOPLE WHEN WE GIVE THEM THE FREEDOMS THEY DESERVE . BUT THEN THEY GO AHEAD AND VOTE FOR PEOPLE TRYING TO STRIP THE PEOPLE OF THE SAME FREEDOMS THEY CAME HERE FOR  . MAKES NO SENSE.

  8. I see a lot of hateful Democrats on here . I thought the Democrats love everyone, but I guess not . I'm sure you guys are beating Trump voters up since you can't win a presidential election

  9. It is simple to "investigate Biden"..All business transductions are clearly available.  I spent 4 days reading the reports.Trump.is blinded.with jealously Hunter and his ultra wealthy partners plus Bank of China made 30 billion in 5 years. Remember Trump has LOST more in business deals than ANY  American..LOST A BILLION.  There is nothing to investigate as it is and has been out there for all to read./ Trump on the other hand hides everything.. What I can't understand is why do people believe Trump and his unfounded theories?

  10. That Trump style. He likes to throw his people under the bus once he is in trouble. Well if Pence is not available then we can vote for a actual qualify candidate.

  11. Among his other …fine… qualities, Pence must also have a severe case of confirmation bias. Pence simply ignores the things that contradicts his belief that trump is the messiah.
    What a piece of garbage person, jhc

  12. FUCK Pence he is nearly worse then Trump as unlike Trump he touts "i am a christian first" and he is no better then he is….to see them BOTH OUT would be so awesome.

  13. Considering both Pence's and Trump's mentality having been graphically illustrated to be limited, I have no trouble at all assuming neither of them were fully aware of the significance or the ramifications of this Biden plot; and that goes for the Russian election '16 meddling as well.
    With him, the less detail the better. Remember he's not the one who really wants to win this next election. He hates being President , despite the huge personal financial haul; but the giant Conservative Machine pushing this train, the ones whose taxes he cut in half, will be very disappointed if he loses. If Pence proves to be inextricably involved, Nancy Pelosi will be President! My guess is the Biden element is Trump's caveat, because Biden was the tip of a very big Corruption Iceberg, and Trump KNEW THEY HAD NOTHING ON BIDEN, so there couldn't have been a "quid pro quo", unless you count the bad publicity for his rival.

  14. Finally Pence gets caught doing something he should not have done! Finally that Christian Hypocrite gets to be on the Raider for his crimes. 🤗😃

  15. Mike Pence, he, conversion therapy proponent, JUST ROLLED OVER IN TURKEY AND TOOK IT LIKE A BIG OL' BOTTOM!! KISSES!!

  16. Actually Mike Is telling the truth…America should really do their research on Narcissistic behavior…Trump moves are all calculated…and everyone even his children are just objects to his agenda..
    For example My Narc ex slept next to me every night hugged and kiss me all day, showing nothing but affection…Yet once I left the house he would get on a fake fb page and threaten his ex acting like he is me…
    First I was served with a restraining order, and then the Police showed up a lot to check my phone logs all types of craziness…
    And my Ex just sat there observing, looking concerned…saying he don’t understand why she is doing this…
    I put an app on his phone that showed his dealings and found out…it was him…and the things he was doing to her, really had her scared of me….
    All this while I had just given birth, breast feeding and main objection was sleep…
    He had two mask and he used her as a flying monkey to carry out his agenda to hurt me because his son was getting all of the attention…
    And she had no idea she was being used…
    Yet she was the one that got slammed when we went to court!!!!and he didn’t show up…left her out there hanging to dry and take the judicial beating!!!!
    Narcissist are smart liars, tactical manipulators and lack human empathy and our President is an old one..,which is even more dangerous..
    United States better wake up before he seeks his revenge on us for exposing and destroying his plan to set himself up financially as the riches man in the world…

  17. It is so disturbing to think that our next gay president (there were 1 or 2 more in the past) might be this deeply closeted homosexual. I couldn't care less about anyone's sexual preference in general but Pence's hypocrisy can do no good whatsoever toward the progress that our society at large has been making toward acceptance of, in this case, LGBT individuals. Shakespear's famous line, "the lady doth protest too much," seems quite apt regarding Pence. He should just grow a beard and set his beleaguered wife free.

  18. I sincerely believe Trevor Noah must have a statue of Jon Stewart's ass he kisses every night. If he doesn't, he should because he'd have no career without JS. He's not 10% as funny as Jon Stewart on his worst day and how he's still got this gig is quite beyond me. DUDE AIN'T FUNNY.

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