Projection: A Narcissistic Tool for Deception — Evening TV

Projection: A Narcissistic Tool for Deception — Evening TV

Hi everyone
Welcome to Evening TV. I’m Evening Ransom and the first thing that I wanted to do
today before anything else is I wanted to thank everyone who’s offered me
their support, such nice comments and encouragement and all that because it is
a rough road. The second thing I wanted to do is I really want to
apologize on behalf of just just for the unfortunate circumstance of the whole
thing. It’s just so unfortunate and so awful that it’s happening but the
thing of it is is that it was kind of destined to happen because we are
talking about narcissistic abuse. We are attracting narcissists here and it was destined to happen. There’s no reason to get upset about it because
we know what this disorder is like we know that everything that we know about
about this disorder is presenting itself for us here so what I want to suggest is
I want to suggest that since it’s happening since it’s here and we and
we’re all dealing with it all having to face it let’s turn it into something
good let’s turn it into a learning an opportunity to learn and grow okay so
the first thing I want to say about it is when we see how how is that it
perpetuates we see how because because there is a big piece of it a big part of
why it perpetuates is that there is an anchor in each and every one of us that
we want to believe the lie we want to believe the lie first of all if you’re a
very conscientious person and you’re a very empathic person it’s hard for you
to even imagine that this would be happening the truth is so strange to ask
so much stranger than fiction they’re fiction makes so much more sense to us
than what is really going on that and it’s what we want to believe we
already we wanted to leave that they are the person that we you know thought they
were and so when they tell us that it’s a lie we want to believe but and it was
it’s just so fascinating to watch because this poor woman was so overtly
and obviously so abused threatening this poor woman there needs to be some
minimum thing because when you have subscribers and this is the this is a
theme of your channel you are almost automatically put into the role of being
their therapist even if you’re not offering really you’re not even offering
counseling services I don’t know it sounds like Kim things that like she’s
always offering other kinds of services to like other creator like business you
kind of things to business making schemes but doesn’t seem like she’s not
like writing books or programs or selling courses or you know things that
pertain to what her alleged expertise is supposed to be and I think that that is
probably appropriate and fitting I think that she really doesn’t have expertise
in that field so she the things that she does she does these videos and then she
does business he kinds of things because she certainly is she is definitely my
mindful in the turn the way in like an entrepreneurial sense he’s definitely
entrepreneurial and thinking about ways to make money and so I give her that but
it’s not you not taking you’ll notice like like I have a heaviness about but I
haven’t before I even started this but I have you know programs and books but
I’ve written there a baton you know based on those names have I talked about
and there’s a lot of other channels that have the same thing and that’s that’s
usually kind of the way that it goes you know you have because that’s what you
talk well time so you’re putting it in text or you know so you can I make your
content so you have consistency across across all your stuff so it’s unusual
that a person would have videos where they talk about one thing and then all
the stuff that they do outside of that is completely something else so I think that’s you know it might be a
lot more fitting for her to have a channel about entrepreneurs or an
entrepreneurship or something because then she wouldn’t have vulnerable people
coming to her needing her to have empathy and eating her be nurturing and
even her to be protective of them when she’s completely unwilling ill-equipped
to do that and you can hear it in the interview there you hear it in the
emails she you know acts like that’s what she was gonna offer it sounded like
that certainly sounded like that before the thing but then once they’re there
and once the abuses already happen she’s saying I never promised to protect
anybody who promised it you know so she’d say you know responsibility for
the peg that she invited a predator there and then a person got abused I
never took any responsibility for that anyway I was just really fuming when you
know when this woman calls me up and she’s so upset and I find out that they
have been they’re bullying her and trying to coerce her into retracting her
story and you know I don’t know I don’t know
what to say about that I don’t know you know the you know her whole mo their
whole and oh and also you know that they’re threatening to sue me and of
course of course but you know never at any point was there ever and you know
ever apology every and humbling you know taking yourselves building that no
normal neurotypical healthy behaviors have shown up here and and and so the
way that he gets perpetuated is because there is it is so clear but there’s a
resistance to believing what was happening right in front of our eyes and
that’s with us so a big reason a big part of why and it’s perpetuated why
it’s so hot why why they get away with it is because we want to believe that we
want to believe their lies and their source chippies
– that actually we want to believe them want to live their life and it’s way
more plausible to us because we can’t imagine doing the things that they’re
doing it’s unreal to us to think that anyone especially someone who would say
that they are a coach for people in recovery from narcissistic abuse would
be doing what she’s doing or what he’s doing or has done but guys I’m just
telling you that you know it’s really important when people show you who they
are believe them believe them the first time because it will only get worse
it’ll just wrap it up and it already has since this is broken just the floodgates
have opened and there’s just you know victim after victim after victim showing
up you know this this wasn’t the first time something happens and people stay
silent and they don’t say anything because because the in other words some
reason others gonna get away with it is because there are dealing with
traumatized people who just wanted to go away they just don’t want any more
trauma and they know that so they know they can bully people who won’t press
them on it and truly the only reason that this is even going through is
because I was there I saw it and I could and I it because if it was just only the
victim they easily would have happened they would easily would squash this
story by now it never would have come out never would have come out because
but I I could not deny that conscious live with it you know and so you know
with and the other thing is – is it she this woman would have been scared
forever if they had done that if they had successfully done that to her they
she would have stayed scared forever and now because she’s you know she’s gonna
walk through this and be brave and I walk through it with her she will not
have to be scared forever she will be she will be shocked and amazed at what
she can do she’ll be something amazing she can do
but when you are your newly you’ve just been through a terrible trauma she’s
just been through a terrible trauma just months ago you know life’s in shambles
trying to put her life back together and then she gets retry Mathai z’d by
her therapist or her you know supposing coach or whatever I you know and I meet
up and then it doesn’t even stop there they continue to abuse and harass her it
is just outrageous and I only don’t feel terrible for you know for this person
but I feel terrible for everyone who’s gonna ever shoot this video I feel
terrible for everyone but I feel even more terrible for all the other people
that would get hurt if I didn’t do this video I mean this enough to do this it
is what it is so let’s find something good that we can make this I’m learning
we can make this so that it moves us past into a new area to a new behavior a
new experience okay let’s just try and do that so I had a live show I gotta get
back to doing it but had a live show called embracing reality with evening
ransom embracing reality really was my mantra because that was the thing that
got me say it was the thing the reality was what I held onto for dear life when
I was trying to recover from narcissistic abuse years ago because my
world was so crazy I had no idea what was real you know who I was what I liked
what you know I everything was so upside down backwards
who I believed I was was based on other what other people like told me I didn’t
even know what I you know what my favorite restaurant I didn’t know
anything because I I never I never said spoke up everything was always related
to what made someone else happy I was completely other centered and so
the thing I had to do to get well it had to start asking myself what I knew for
sure you know and that was really a challenge and it was really baby steps
for a while you know so it goes something like this you know parent
though my parents love me dance they don’t really say it too much but I only
love me because I understand they’re all right there I mean I didn’t have to say
them throws right there to see but it’s the willingness to see and the you know
fact that this happened is upsetting to the entire to me
why am I even here watching any Channel right and that’s of course the fear and
of course that would be just wonderful because those kinds of people know they
don’t mind you know if they can’t have it
everyone should lose it you know that would be fine with them so there was no
risk for them there you know go go ahead to stir things up and if everyone loses
you know everyone leaves isn’t meaning all the viewers and all this and all the
traders if everyone loses then that’s just fine because if they’re gonna lose
it everyone needs to lose it you know they’ll come screwed up and I want
everyone to lose it you know something fine from them but that would be a shame
that would be letting them win I hope that doesn’t happen
I hope that doesn’t happen but at the same time I believe that you guys are
strong enough and you’re you’re you’re able to hear the truth separate the
truth you don’t have to be kept in the dark you know which is what apparently
is is what is what other creators think needs to happen is but if they don’t
talk about it they don’t get involved in it then you know maybe people get abused
me this poor woman thought it’d be is maybe future people looking abuse but
you know they’re not involved you know then that’s that’s a good thing somehow
I find that disheartening you know I found that really pretty disheartening
and interestingly I I was depart the first thing that surprised me the kind
of the lack of support unite you unity between Charles was or supporting us was
when little Charlotte was wrongly taken down channel was wrongly removed and you
know such an excellent Channel and you know look at this now it’s just so
completely ironic and terrible and you know hit this great channel that was
throwing really fast and helping a lot of people and just did quality stuff and
somehow something happens in her channel thought we MOOC that she got shut down
then we’ve got these two people who are abusing people clearly and they’re still
operating and it’s just what is the sense what is going on and I you know
really really want it I’m just any way that we can get some isn’t nobody safe
until we get some kind of structure in place that protects good creators and
create and protects the viewers you know we got and we gotta have something in
place and so you know because that should to happen it’s equally bad that
she was taken off as it is equally bad but these guys are still here and you
know so you know we need something in place to fix that and I I was just a
little bit disappointed that there was there wasn’t more support for this
victim or protect protectiveness over future victims and um and you know I
don’t know I just I you know but you know so I I also I also created a video
when will summarize remove see what happened a little shaman she should you
know but she shouldn’t be shut down that’s the only one I thought I thought
I would be like the first of many and and I was the only one so that seems to
be the thing is that you know I I get that people that are here looking for
help with narcissistic abuse are dealing with trauma I don’t want to come here
and get conflict I get that I do it is life it is what tap and you know it just
is one of those things where it’s like the unfortunate thing I I happened to be
there happen to be the one that’s you know was there and so I you know didn’t
have a choice about it and I just don’t my only regret I wish that the person
that was there had a really gigantic channel you know that’s what I you know
because then it would be a lot a lot easier to get hurt and to how truthful
are we being about the people that were putting our lives when people are select
it’s a very good lesson because we do this with a lot of it we do this a lot
of relationships especially intimate relationships
we do this when we first meet people friends that we really like we do this
was definitely doing this with lovers and you know people like that and but
you know we definitely do it also with people that are in these kinds of roles
that we want to we want them to be who we need them to be and so they when they
tell us if they are that we want to believe it and we want to go on
believing it even when their actions are showing us something don’t really need
to be dramatic but it is how really terrible things happen
it’s how terrible things like the Holocaust happen it really is if you
look at this you boil it down to you know just you boil it down as a small
little thing here but we’ve got we’ve got people asking really pathologically
and we’ve got people following it but a lot of people looking away a lot of
people looking away like they don’t see and all those pieces all three of those
pieces are are necessary for it to go on that’s how it goes on that’s how it gets
perpetuated so the narcissist and the pathological behavior if that is only
one small piece of it I mean it’s a narcissistic behavior is my one small
piece of it there’s pathology all around and part of it is healing the
self-defeating patterns in in victims you know so as you heal as these victims
as the people are like the subscribers at her channel statement right now as
they heal they will become less and less vulnerable doing you not calling someone
on this kind of piece of behavior it was so clear today because when she
really abused this person she was so traumatized that she wanted
responsibility for it and didn’t see how how really bad it was and when she heals
she will see it’s just she won’t be able to believe that that she put up with it
she won’t be able to believe it but right now she doesn’t she doesn’t know
how bad it is because she’s really used to minimizing things she’s really used
to accepting way lower treatment from people than she deserves and you know
her expectations of other people’s behavior towards her is really really
low and so you know and usually usually targets through abuse are really high in
agreeableness you don’t want to rock the boat they don’t want to cause conflicts
they don’t want to be in the middle of a conflict they just want to keep the
peace all of that stuff that sounds really familiar to all of us I’m sure
none of us you know we you know we you know we don’t want it we don’t want to
be in the middle of a conflict at all and so of course that’s another thing
that they can use really threaten her because they know she’s missing the
drama she doesn’t want to be in the middle of something so that’s why they
pull all the stops were threatening that that’s exactly what they’re gonna do and
you know I had a lot of embracing reality kind of conversations with her
when we really break down all these threats and you see that they’re just
idle threat you know it was still scary and and and that’s what they intended
they intended for it to be scary and I just since I started down this rabbit
hole I started telling you what’s been going on I figured there was no reason
to hit that I should stop now so you decide for yourself so that you know you
have effects you have a little story about what happened there and now now
today the latest is that first of all those two are definitely still working
together train giving people and doing all that stuff and and then she got
through to talk to the the victim and used that opportunity as an opportunity
to try and bully her into recanting her story and that
that was and I just and this you know we talked about that projection because and
Larkin’s we misuse the term projection as well because here’s the thing that
projection projection is always unconscious and so alarming is what we
will call projection is when an abuser just offloads all their stuff onto us
that’s not projection that’s just line even though they even though they are
saying that you know we did exactly what their what they did their conscious of
that you know the only time that is truly projection is when they’re not
even conscious they’re doing and this does happen to this also does happen but
when they are when they know that they’re lying about you that’s not
projection that’s just that projection plays a big role and I would so I would
venture to say really that in a lot of these relationships the majority of
projection is actually us projecting our positive qualities onto them so I’m
doing my very best to protect this person and share and use what’s going on
to incorporate it into lessons that we can use that’s the best that I can do so
it’s not you know I don’t get any pleasure out of reporting with reporting
the misdeeds of the day but as soon as I need you know we’re creating content
anyway so I’m gonna use what’s going on to you know to create the lessons for
the day and will have little illustrations and examples ready-made
for us and that way you know we can make it productive we can make what’s
happening productive and that way we don’t have to stick our heads in the
sand we can have to pretend it doesn’t happen we can use what’s happening as a
lesson because it’s a shame not to you know at least if it’s here let’s take a
look at it because this is the thing we need to start recognizing you know we
used to recognizing it before we’re abused you know so we need to lip it
make sure that where we went wrong here where you know how could we have noticed
how could we have a red flags if you missed you know what reflects did we
miss and you know so we don’t miss him again that’s the whole beauty of it you
know here was a lesson that’s presented itself is turning into a lesson and make
it anyway the work for us that’s the best thing I can think of to do
so that’s the approach I’m gonna take because this isn’t you can’t escape it
and they don’t seem to be unique you’re getting the message and they’re still
here so as long as they’re here they’re gonna be doing things that give us an
opportunity to take a look at it so we’ll examine what they do all right you
guys thanks so much for being here and again I you know I wish that it could be
just all about recovery and all that but there’s a reason that this is happening
is it you know the universe minute for our good so let’s go ahead and make the
most of it all right thanks so much I’ll talk with you later bye-bye

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  1. With shocking actions yesterday, there is more evidence than ever to the buyer beware. There is a lot of evidence of harm these two have caused their clients, other youtubers, and I know that it is true for me personally. Take care and make sure you are learning the lesson available here. Stay safe. 💞

  2. Hi Evening, I just took off Kim and Kill Jezebel's channels for enabling Dave, congrats.I knew there were reasons I had my reservations, now you've confirmed why plus the fact that Kill Jezebel listens to another sexual predator preacher enabler yucky, yikes, icky, eww and ugh! I went into a nose dive and it sucks, yes I've learned my lesson!!Take care and thanks!

  3. What? They are trying to coerce her into retracting her statement? Unconscionable on every level.
    And exactly what malignant narcissists do.
    They may try to spin it to look like she was possibly disordered and unbalanced enough to invent this incident.. to claim it never happened, they are the victims here (says every narc ) … but even then the stink of narcissism still surrounds them.
    Because genuine empathic fellow survivors and "coaches" would approach this with care, delicacy and support, and at the very least offer to get her some real help!
    No matter how they spin this, they have exposed themselves for what they are. David showed himself to be a malignant predator and Kim showed herself to be an enabling opportunist.
    Neither show a conscience or empathy. Their masks dropped to reveal their true character and this cannot be unseen.
    You're right on for using this as a lesson for protecting oneself and furthering recovery. We must focus on the healing.
    XX ♡

  4. It’s interesting that I’ve been thinking a lot about class lately. Not status but old fashioned class. Sometimes as victims of N abuse we tend to accept anyone who doesn’t seem like an N. I think we need to be more discerning. Like even not being a N is not always enough. Class of course should be defined by each of us for ourselves. For me it’s a tone, an intent, a look, a feeling, humility, modesty etc.I’ve been using this lately to even pick Dr.’s, YouTube personalities to watch, friends etc. it’s ok to want smart, classy, calm, funny, humble people in your life. I put you in that category. I hope this makes sense. And I hope I’m making a point 😉

  5. This whole situation is flabbergasting. First of all, what I am hearing on Kim's video that she posted today is "that during the meet-up we had here (in Mexico), there was a group of incredible women. We had a great time. We went out dancing. We went to fabulous restaurants. We laughed. It was great."
    I try to maintain a certain stance of cautioned neutrality until I get all the facts, but that statement is painting a picture of Shangri La. I wonder how often she "Shangri La's" reality? Then she goes on to describe the beautiful surroundings, and suddenly realizing that she's sitting with beautiful women, " it hits me suddenly that I'm sitting here with Girlfriends!" Like I said…I'm flabbergasted. I'm almost ready to book my ticket in advance for next years event if it's going to be Shangri La.

  6. Evening, I've emailed via your contact form as suggested. I just wanted to make sure the emails were received ok as I've had first time communication passed to spam boxes before. There's a timeliness to my email which you'll see when you read it. Just thought I'd pop on here so there's another channel of comms if emails aren't arriving. Thanks K

  7. I hope L does not change story and she wants to report these two to u tube and David to police. That would wipe the slimey smirk off his face.

  8. He lost a bit of followers already and he had replied to one of his Q & A questions and he had claimed this entire deal is a smear campaign. It took him an entire week to answer his questions when he was usually on it the same day or later the next. He is an egotistical snake in the grass for sure. I feel deeply for the lady and having to be pressured to change her story. Thank you for not giving up on her. She needs to be heard. ❤

  9. One more thing, just not to forget about this… In the video where David DeMars changed the name of his channel, He states that he was a child which has been adopted by a family where the woman-mother is a paranoid schizophrenic… In all countries in this world, the child is always separated from such a family, how he could been adopted by that kind of family ?!? Strange ? Or just a sad story 😢

  10. You are right about predators and how difficult it is to recover from abuse. I think Kim's ranting video should be kept up for all to learn from. It is difficult to discern our own biases and perhaps Kim's old brainwashing and conditioning to defer to the old nonsensical notion of male privilege and superiority to females sucked her in and got the best of her. Part of this ingrained deferment to males behaviour includes covering up for the guys abusive behaviour and protecting him from being outed. Most of us have done this in one form or another like when we didn't tell on him and stayed for more abuse. Kim did go after her ex abusers former partner in court based on his convincing lies to her. I think she might be repeating a dangerous pattern. We are all guilty of repeating self sabotaging behaviours which society in part has conditioned into women. Remember it wasn't that long ago when women weren't even allowed to vote. I believe it was at least the mid 1940s in some parts of Canada. We've come a long way baby and we gotta longer way to go. That includes our own self imposed glass ceilings and making too many excuses for abusive men. Me too is on the journey. I am so glad more men are standing up and speaking up for us.

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