Pumpkin 2: The Pie  (SHORT FILM)

Pumpkin 2: The Pie (SHORT FILM)


Fucking salt! Hey dude! Yeah? It’s ready! Oh! Luke: Oh it’s… …It’s, er, it’s magnificent! We’ve made a baby! Luke: Hey dude, don’t get too emotional! Luke: Hey dude… Let’s get wild. Ronnie: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! Dude, this is amazing! So delicious! Can you feel anything yet? No! Nothing! I’m feeling too normal! Its boring! Oh man, I don’t think the pie is working! Goddamnit, I’ve failed! Oi Luke, you’re not a failure. I love you more than you mother does! What? I can see that you’re special and unique. Don’t let anything stop you an- (GASPS) Wa-ha! It’s working! It’s actuall- (GASPS) (Happy music) Luke: Dude… …we can make so much money. Ronnie: Yeah. Ronnie: Yeah Pumpkins are safe and effective. They can change peoples’ lives. It changed mine. Yeah. Ronnie: Yeah. Man, we can changed the world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But we need to find a drug dealer. I mean, a professional one! Yeah, oh…? (Turns up the volume) Bonjour, my name is Pierre but you can call me… …la Tresor I’m a money magnet, baby. Non money lovers are stupid. Like vegans… who don’t like animals. On Earth, there’s no heaven. Only money. Think about it. You have a drug. But can’t sell it. You need me. La Tresor. Best drug dealer in the west. Bonjour! This is la Tresor. Of course I can make you rich! Call now! I think we should maybe call… Is he talking to the pie? This pie is fucking crazy! J’adore to be part of your business. Want a coffee? I can make the best coffee! A lot of coffee- Shhhhhhhhh Now, sing to me. ♫ J’aime mon tresor ♫ ♫ tu es mon tresor ♫ ♫ J’aime mon… tresor ♫ ♫ J’aime mon- ♫ Non! ♫ J’aime mon tresor ♫ ♫ J’aime mon tresor ♫ Pierre: ♫ tu es mon tresor ♫ ♫ tu es mon tresor ♫ Luke: Here you go, bud. Gentlemen, the pie is going to be popular. But we’ll make some enemies. Can I count on you both to say not a single word about pumpkin or pie? Understood? Oui! That was the single worst use of “qui” i’ve ever heard in my whole entire life! It was even worse than my cat. Vincent. Don’t you ever speak my language again! Gentlemen, au revoir. Hey dude, you’re alright? I love him! 100 pies? One-zero-zero pies? Oui, for tomorrow. 100 pies? We need a big kitchen with a big oven! Who has time for that? 100 pies or no 50 grand. Yes! We can make 100 pies! Yes, yes, yes! We can. No problem! Well then, gentlemen. Gentlemen, I’ll see you tomorrow. Au revoir! Oh shut the fuck up, you’re plug headed twit! Right, let’s make 100 pies! No sleeping! Roger…that! Hey Ronnie… I want to say that I’m proud of you. Aw thanks! No one said that since Naomi. Naomi? You remember her? Naomi? You just said “Naomi”! Did I? No, I didn’t. Who is she? She. She… She was a wonderful girl. What’s up, pussies. Right, well. Good luck out there! Non, you’re taking me there. Me? Why can’t you drive? Wait, you can’t drive? No, I can’t drive! I’ve got a phobia of driving. So… How did you deliver all those pies this week? Ok? Come on, Luke. Let’s go. Oh, hey Ronnie. Uhh.. Yeah? Ah I forgot! Sorry. I’ll see you in a bit! Ronnie: Bye! Bye bye, Frenchman! Ronnie: Bye French- hey… Oh yeah, I remember now! I forgot to tell Ronnie to turn the oven off. Why is it so fucking hot! Hey Wendy. Ahh okay. Come in… I’m sorry. Wendy? Are you okay? Woman’s voice: She’s perfectly fine, Pierre. Vanessa? Long time no see, my poodle. What are you doing here? You left me in Paris. I had no choice. I waited for you in the restaurant. I waited. Why, my poodle. Why did you leave me? I wanted a new life. Well. I didn’t. You were the perfect man I could have ever asked for. You broke my heart. Why are you really here, Vanessa? I want to know about the pies. Do pumpkins really exist? I don’t know what you’re talking about. They’re just ordinary pies. Oh Pierre… I miss you. I know you’re lying! Silly poodle. So tell me… My poodle, who made these delicious pies? No one touches this mustache except my lovely mother! Tell me who! Guilty! (Suspenseful music) Uhh guilty for…not making the pies! I mean, I wish I know how to make those awesome pies. I’m er, I’m just, I’m just a pasty maker, right? He makes pasties. I make pasties. You know, just down the street. Erm, you know Warrens? Erm, just around the corner. Yeah, that’s where I work. Isn’t that right? Oui. Oh well, oh! Erm I better go. And Vanessa, It was lovely meeting you. And I’ll see you later, ok? Whoa! Shit. Vanessa: Pierre! There’s £50,000 in here. And what about him? He’ll come with me, to start a new life. Like you did, when you left me. Vanessa, I had to leave. Not because of you. Because of what you did. The killings. Killings? Hah! Shut up! You loved at every kill we ever made. Remember my 600 meters headshot? We celebrated that? That was actually quite impressive. But we were monsters. We hurt people. So you think I’m a monster now? No, I don’t. Let’s settle thi- Don’t do this, not again. This brings back memories, my poodle. (Fight music) Sorry, sorry! Mamacita! No.. No, no, no, no! OOOoooooooooooo! White mask. Arghhhh! Vanessa: Pierre! Vanessa: Let him go! Come on Vanessa. It’s not worth it. You don’t care about him, you care about money! Isn’t that right, la tresor? You don’t care about anyone but yourself! Now I know why you left cos you don’t have a heart. Money is your heart! Vanessa, you’re crazy Pierre! Pierre! Pierre! Where are they? They’ve already gone. Shall I call the police? No, Wendy. Take care. Huh? Bonjour my man, my man! You want some coffee? Where’s Luke? Luke! (Sad music) I want to say that I’m proud of you. Ronnie… Here’s your 80% of the cut. I’m sorry about it. I’m going now. I don’t care about the money! I want my friend back! You don’t care about him. All you care about is money! You don’t give a shit. You don’t give a fucking shit about anyone! (ANGRY INTELLIGIBLE) Have your money. Take your fucking money and get out of my house! I did everything I can to save your friend! You have to help me to get him back! He was your friend too. He trusted you. Maybe, I’ll help you to get your friend back. Maybe. Yeeeeaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *