QUIZ SHOW or… “No, no, I mean the
actual words on the page, see…?”
NonStampCollector OK Welcome back. Both our contestants are giving it
a red hot go tonight as we test
their knowledge of the infallible, inerrant and non-contradictory
word of god. And a couple of quality contestants
we have tonight: Craig and Ken Craig in the lead so far, but let’s
see what happens In this next round I’ll be asking a question and giving
both of you a chance to respond, to see if you come up with
the same answer. Ready Ken? You bet And Craig? Let’s go OK, so turning to Yahweh’s anger,
for question 1. For ten points, How long does Yahweh’s anger last? Yes, Ken Forever OK, it’s a forever from Ken,
Craig what do you think? I’m gonna go with not forever. Well you’re both correct. 10 Points
each. Yahweh’s anger lasts both
Not forever: Micah 7:18/Forever: Jer 17:4 forever and NOT forever.
Not forever: Micah 7:18/Forever: Jer 17:4 Next question:
Does Yahweh tempt people? Yes, Craig. No. He would never do that. OK, Ken? Do you agree with Craig? Well, Yahweh tempted Abraham, so
it definitely is something he’d do. Well Ken you’re right about that,
so 10 points for you,
(Genesis 22:1) and 10 points for you also Craig,
(Genesis 22:1) because God cannot be tempted
with evil, nor tempteth he
any man (James 1:13). Question 3: Can salvation be attained by works? Yes Craig, No. A man is not justified
by the works of the law,
(Gal 2:16) but by the faith of Jesus Christ
(Gal 2:16) OK, and Ken? Well I’m afraid Craig’s correct,
and I’m going to differ
with him on this one, and instead go with what Jesus said,
namely if you want to enter into life,
(Matt 19:17, Luke 10:26-8) keep the commandments
(Matt 25:41-46 and 16:27)
(Matt 19:17, Luke 10:26-8) Yes, but a man is justified by
faith without the deeds of the law
(Romans 3:28) You see then that a man is
justified by works, and not
by faith alone (James 2:24 ) Both correct once again,
somehow or other, and now for our final
question for this round… What are the consequences
of seeing Yahweh’s face? Yes, Ken. death! Hmmm – Ken saying death,
do you agree, Craig? I’m saying the preservation
of life. (Gen 32:30) But there shall no man see
me and live (Ex 33:20) And that’s correct! But hang on, Jacob saw god
face to face (Gen 32:30) And Abraham (Gen 12:7) Yes, and so did Moses (Ex 33:11) But no man hath seen god
at any time (John 1:18) Except the seventy elders
of Israel (Ex 24:9-11) And all the others too, and
of course none of them did because no man hath seen nor
can see god (1 Tim 6:16) 10 points for everyone there,
including me, I think, on that one. OK, onto the next round of questions. and it’s our first speed
round for the evening. No need to buzz in, just call
out your answer as soon as I
finish asking each question. 30 seconds on the clock…. your time starts – – NOW Does Yahweh delight in burnt offerings? YES/NO
(Jer 7:22, Ex 20:24) Correct.
(Jer 7:22, Ex 20:24) Is God the author of evil? YES/NO
(Is. 45:7, 1 John 4:8) Correct
(Is. 45:7, 1 John 4:8) According to Genesis, were humans
created BEFORE the animals? YES/NO
(Gen 2:18-9; Gen 1:25-7) Correct.
(Gen 2:18-9; Gen 1:25-7) On the road to Damascus, did
Paul’s traveling companions hear
the voice that spoke to Paul? YES/NO
(Acts 22:9 , Acts 9:7) Correct.
(Acts 22:9 , Acts 9:7) Will the Earth last forever? YES/NO
(2 Peter 3:10 Ecc 1:4) Correct
(2 Peter 3:10 Ecc 1:4) Is Jesus the only man to
have ascended into heaven? YES/NO
(2 Kings 2:11, John 3:13) Correct.
(2 Kings 2:11, John 3:13) In old testament law, were
children to be punished for
the sins of their fathers? YES/NO
(Deut 24:16 , Deut 5:9) Correct!
(Deut 24:16 , Deut 5:9) OK, that’s the end
of our speed round Ken you must be exhausted after that. Oh, no, no, no. Just like our
heavenly father, I never tire,
and I never rest. (Is. 40:28) Oh, in that case, would you
like to rest a minute? OK, sure, just like our heavenly father,
that’s what I always do when I
get tired. (Is. 1:14 and 43:24) OK, in that case let’s take a short
break and well be back right after
this message from our sponsors: And the writings do not
contradict each other! No, there are no contradictions. All of these authors over such
a long period of time… No, there’s no contradiction here. They merely supplement each other. …are all saying the same thing. Ha, ha! So fancy that!.
(Jer 52:12-13, 2 Kings 25:8-9) And now onto the next round,
which is all about numbers. Not the old testament book, no no, we’re going to test your
understanding of the actual numerical values of integers
in the bible. First to buzz in, and
here’s Question 1: How many valiant men drew
the sword for Israel,
as counted by Joab? Ken? 800,000?
(2 Sam 24:9) Correct,
(2 Sam 24:9) and 1.1 million would also have
been correct there (1 Chron 21:5) Question 2:
How many horseman did David
take with him when… Ken? 700? (2 Sam 8:4) 700 is correct and so is 7,000,
either way (1 Chron 18:4) a much of a muchness really,
(1 Chron 18:4) question 3: How much did David pay for
the threshing floor? Yes, Craig? I think, 500 shekels of gold? Oooh, no, sorry Craig,
it was 600 shekels,
(1 Chron 21:25) Ken what would you have said?
(1 Chron 21:25) Hmmm, I was leaning towards just
50 shekels but that (-) seems… Well you would have been correct,
(2 Sam 24:24) it was 50 shekels AND 600 shekels. Now, question 8: The chief of King David’s captains
killed 800 men in one encounter.
(2 Sam 23:8) This figure, 800, is
also equal to How many? Ken? 700? Ooohhh, sorry Ken,
The correct answer is 300.
(1 Chron 11:11) You’ll be kicking yourself
for a week, won’t you? I knew it! OK, next question. When is a thief, two thieves? Yes, Craig, Ooh, well there were two
theives crucified with Jesus,… Yes, you’re on the right track… Did… did they both revile
Jesus or did only one of them? Well, both are correct depending
on which gospel you’re reading!
(Luke 23:39-42, Mark 15:32, Matt 27:44) It’s just like how many blind
men Jesus healed near Jericho
(Mark 10:46, Matthew 20:30). it was two AND it was one.
(Mark 10:46, Matthew 20:30
and Luke 18:35). So let’s move onto the final question
in this round. It’s multiple choice,
so listen carefully. Think of a single historical event
that featured two men standing,
Matt 28:2, Mark 16:5, Luke 24:4, John 20:12 that were actually two men sitting,
which was in fact one man sitting,
Matt 28:2, Mark 16:5, Luke 24:4, John 20:12 and in actual fact was one angel descending
from heaven and causing an earthquake.
Matt 28:2, Mark 16:5, Luke 24:4, John 20:12 Was this non-contradictory
singular event witnessed by a) one woman, (John 20:1) b) two women, (Matthew 28:1) c) three women, (Mark 16:1) or d) an unknown number of women numbering
at least five (Luke 24:10)? Ken? All of the above! CORRECT!
(John 20:1; Matthew 28:1;
Mark 16:1; Luke 24:10) Ha, ha! Congratulations Ken,
(John 20:1; Matthew 28:1;
Mark 16:1; Luke 24:10) an excellent answer given that
all of the historically accurate accounts of the day of Jesus
resurrection agree with
each other perfectly, and would CERTAINLY stand up in
court as being reliable testimony. It’s time for our second
speed round now, looking to see who’ll be going
home and who’ll be advancing good luck both of you, In this round I’m going to name
a crime, and you need to be the first to buzz in with the punishment
as originally demanded by The LORD God,
(Exodus 34:6) merciful and gracious, longsuffering,
and abundant in goodness and truth.
(Exodus 34:6) Ready, players? 60 seconds
on the clock this time.
Hands on buzzers…. What was Yahweh’s originally
designated punishment for…… Fortune telling? Ken? Death. (Lev 20:27) Correct.
Hitting a parent? Ken? Death (Ex 21:15) Correct. Cursing a parent? Craig? Death (Lev 20:9) Yes. Not listening to a priest? Ken? Death. ( Deut 17:12) Correct. Following another religion? Craig? Death. (Ex 22:20) Yes. Adultery? Craig? Death (Lev 20:10) Correct. Not seeking the
lord god of Israel? Ken? Death (2 Chron 15:12-13). Correct. Fornication? Ken? Prison? No, sorry the correct
answer is Death (Lev 21:9) Dammit Prophesying falsely? Craig? Death (Zech 13:3) Correct, bonus points if
you can tell us who has
to kill the false prophet? His or her parents. Very good.
Homosexuality? Craig? Death (Lev 20:13) Yes. Blasphemy? Ken? Death. (Lev 24:10-16) Correct. Working on the sabbath? Craig? Death (Ex 31:12-15) Yes. Having a few people in
your town worship another god? Craig? Death More information… Death for the entire town …. a little more…. and the livestock…. err.. and put the entire town to
the torch so that the town
is a ruin forever Correct
(Deut 13:13-16) and just in time too, very
nearly running out of time
(Deut 13:13-16) there with both of our contestants
showing an admirable familiarity
with scripture so far tonight, OK making a final check of
our scores here now,…. OK, but look, rather than trust
logic or the immoral practice
of basing decisions solely upon verifiable evidence, I’m just going to pray for
a minute and ask the Lord
who our winner is tonight… Yes, look – I’m getting a
strong inner conviction and
taking it on faith that… KEN is our winner!! which means that we’ll say
goodbye to Craig here. Any thoughts on that decision Craig? Oh, look, it’s an
excellent choice, Bill, I’ve always trusted faith over
objective reasoning because without faith, logic is
just a fallible human
construct or something. Yes, but you don’t
leave empty handed. What earthly treasures have we got
stored up for our runner-up, Frank? Well, for our runner up today
it’s a huge house upon the rock! Oh NO!!! I’m rich! Woe unto me?
(Luke 6:24) Hey, come on, riches are a
blessing! (Psalm 12:1-3) Either way, Craig, you be sure to
sell that new possession of yours
(Luke 18:22, 12:33 and 14:33). and give to the poor
(Luke 18:22, 12:33 and 14:33). Or perhaps you could take
the example of the early
christian church, who got together as a community,
(Acts 2:44-5, Acts 4:34-7) sold what they owned,
(Acts 2:44-5, Acts 4:34-7) and shared the proceeds
amongst themselves communally.
(Acts 2:44-5, Acts 4:34-7) How do you feel about
communism now, teabaggers? Oh – yes Craig? It’s an immoral atheist plot
invented by Barack Obama and Josef
Stalin to take over our country? Correct. Ha, ha! Time for a quick break, and
we’ll be right back with Ken
in our solo challenge round There’s another
supossed contradiction supossed contradictions
in the bible supossed contradiction this is one of those
alleged contradictions not a contradiction at all the harmony among the gospels so called factual discrepancy no contradiction supposed contradictions
in the bible lends historical credibility
to the accounts Now solo challenge round,
there are 8 questions, and you
have to get them ALL correct. Here we go, question 1. Did the temple curtain rip
before or after Jesus died?
(Mark 15:37-8, Luke 23:45-6) Ummm… yes.
(Mark 15:37-8, Luke 23:45-6,
Matt 27:50-51) Correct.
(Mark 15:37-8, Luke 23:45-6,
Matt 27:50-51) Who put the gorgeous
purple robe on Jesus, Herod’s soldiers or
Pilate’s soldiers? Yes, they did.(Luke 23:11,
Matt 27:27-8, John 19:1-2) Correct.(Luke 23:11,
Matt 27:27-8, John 19:1-2) Did Jesus curse the
fig tree before or after driving the
merchants from the temple? Ummm… before or after?
(Matt 21:12, 17-19 , Mark 11:12-17) Correct,
(Matt 21:12, 17-19 , Mark 11:12-17) either one will do,
so good answer there. Should homosexuals be
killed or exiled?
(1 Kings 15:11-12, Lev 20:13) Definitely. Correct. Given that Quirinius became the
governor of Syria nine years
after King Herod’s death, was Jesus born during
the reign of Herod, or during the governorship
of Quirinius? Uhmm… Uhmm… Both?
(Luke 2:1, Matt 2:1, Wikipedia) Miraculously, yes.
(Luke 2:1, Matt 2:1, Wikipedia) You’re doing very well. When the women arrived at Jesus
tomb, was the tomb opened or closed?
(Matt 28:2 , Luke 24:2) Yes, it was. Correct. Did Judas die by hanging himself,
or by falling over in a field and having his midsection burst open
spilling his guts everywhere? Yes, that’s right.
(Acts 1:18 , Matt 27:5) Correct, and our final question
(Acts 1:18 , Matt 27:5) Is God the author of confusion?
(1 Cor 14:33) No!!
(1 Cor 14:33) Correct!
(1 Cor 14:33) The authors of confusion are
the people who misrepresent the bible and try to make it
appear as though parts of it
contradict each other!!! I know, right? Don’t those people have
anything better to do? They must hate god so much! Oh, congratulations,
Ken, well done, an excelent achievement, and now, your prize.
Are you ready? You’ve won… a lifetime of believing a
promise of something for
which there’s no evidence and that you won’t actually
get until after you’re dead! In fact,… there’s pretty
much no good reason at all to
expect it’s even remotely real but please, just take our word for it
and live the rest of your life
imaging it and feeling happy and by the way, you don’t actually deserve
it anyways so make sure you
feel a bit unworthy too. How about that? Isn’t that the sort of
thing that we all want? So congratulations
once again, Ken. Thanks for watching everybody. And we’ll see you again next time. Bye, bye. Video made by NonStampCollector
Subtitled by HuanManwe