Ramesh Mehta Comedy Scenes – રમેશ મેહતા – Superhit Gujarati Comedy Scenes – Raj Rajwan Movie
Devotees, the man who
gets involved with women.. ..becomes the most miserable. Woman is the root cause
of all the sorrows in the world. Therefore,
take a vow of lifetime celibacy.. ..to live a happy life, and take a vow.. ..not to ever look at
a woman’s face in your life. (Laughs) Guru, I have a doubt. A small doubt. Haven’t you seen your mother’s face? Haven’t you seen
even your sister’s face? Dhaga, you Idiot!
– Oh, Guru roared. You should not see the faces of other
women other than your mother and sister. Anyway, other than mother’s
and sister’s faces.. ..why do we need to see
the faces of other women? Guru, I promise you that henceforth.. ..other than mother’s and sister’s faces
I won’t see any other woman’s face. Dhaga, I bless you. Consider that your
current life is fruitful. Guru, your visit will
also not be in vain. You can sit down for meditation. Hail Guru Khakhad Dhajanand!
– Hail! Hail Guru Khakhad Dhajanand!
– Hail! Hail Guru Khakhad Dhajanand! Oh, the devotees left. Let me too move towards celibacy. “Hail Lord Hanuman,
the ocean of knowledge.” Heeral. O Heeral.
– Oh, a woman. Brother Giga, listen. Look at me. Champa, he won’t look at you.
He will look only at me. Right, brother Giga?
– Yes. Why?
– (Chuckles) Brother has taken a vow
of not looking at any woman.. ..other than mother and sister. Yes. Guru Khakhad Dhajanand
made me take a vow. It is a very difficult vow. What will happen when he gets married? We will worry about it at that time.
Come upstairs. Other woman, have you left? Hail Lord Hanuman. Again another woman. I cover it up so many times
but I don’t know who uncovers it. Remain under cover. “Hail Lord Hanuman,
the ocean of knowledge.” Now go to the Village
Headman’s house and inform him. Okay.
– We have to.. Hello, Veeramdev. Oh, hello, Village Headman. Hello.
Welcome. Welcome. You lost your way to
come here with your family. Yes, the whole family has come.
– Hey. Quiet! I have not lost my way. I have come to make special
arrangement between our families. Arrangement? But aren’t you going out? Village Headman,
what can be more important than you? My son Malde will do my work.
– Yes, father. You can sit with uncle and
I will go to Ranjharka village. Come in, come in.
– Come. Mother, let me hold your hand.
– What happened? What if there is another
woman over there? You are an idiot. Brother, get the button stitched on.
They have fallen off. Come on. It will look bad.
– You are meddling in other’s affairs. Dear, are you listening? He is eating like a glutton. Wow, father.
It seems that Rajwan is an expert cook. So keep on eating.
Keep on eating sweet porridge. But keep in mind that
the sweet porridge is theirs.. ..while the tummy belongs to you. The sweet porridge is delicious. Dear, serve to me also. Wow. Wow. Rajwan has cooked
delicious sweet porridge. (Laughs) Father, all these years
my mother cooked sweet porridge.. ..but you have never
praised her this way. You love sweet porridge
cooked by other only. Village Headman, now tell me in detail. The point is that my son Lakha.. Just now he was sitting here. Yes, but just now he
got up to go to the toilet. He ate like a glutton. Shut up.
– Earlier he was sitting here. Now he is sitting in the toilet. Eat.
– Eat. Eat the sweet porridge. Wow. Sweet porridge. Wow. Sweet porridge. Eat the sweet porridge
as if you are facing famine. No problem. Tell me what you wanted to say. The thing is, my son Lakha..
– Yes, yes. Okay, but what about it?
– Forget it. I will tell you later. Right now let me go. But Village Headman,
where are you going? I will tell you later.
Right now let me go. Let me go. Where did he go? He has gone to the toilet. It is the custom in our family. They eat and then go to the toilet. They eat and then go to the toilet. Just wait and see.
After a while I too will go. But the sweet porridge is excellent. I hope I don’t soil my clothes. Who is in there?
– ‘Father, it is I, Lakha.’ Lakha, come out, I need to go urgently. ‘I am coming out, father.’
– Hurry up. Father.
– Yes? Your bucket seems to be empty.
– Oh. Fill it up again. Fill up from the ditch.
It is usable for this purpose.. Fill it up.
– Okay. Fill it up from this ditch. Good. Brother,
I was in urgent need to go. It is the custom in our family.
We eat and then go to the toilet. But the sweet porridge is excellent. The sweet porridge has caused trouble.
Lakha, come out quickly. ‘I am Gaga.’
– Gaga, why did you go in? Come out quickly.
I am in urgent need to go. Come out. Come out. Father, you are in great hurry. I need to go.
– I had to leave it halfway. I have to go.
– Should you be in such hurry? I am in urgent need to go. Shouldn’t you let the
other person finish in peace? I am in urgent need to go.
– The custom in our family.. What is the custom in our family? Give a push..
– I pushed you. Let me go. Who is in there?
– ‘Father, I am Lakha.’ Oh, no, I am still waiting. This bucket is troubling me.
It is leaking. Let me go. Let me go.
– I say let me go. Go and fill the bucket. Quickly go and fill the bucket.
– Yes, I will. Oh, God. Come out, brother Lakha. But the sweet porridge is excellent. Oh, Lakha, come out quickly.
I can’t control any longer. – (Laughs) One, two, three! (Laughs) Oh, where did the other women push me? Here too is the other woman? I am not the other woman.
– What? I am your wife. You are wife but you are a woman, right? Guru Khakhad Dhajanand has said.. ..that I should not look at the face of
anybody other than my mother and sister. Therefore,
I am your husband and you are my wife.. ..but without seeing
each other’s faces.. ..I am completely celibate. O celibate man, my life is ruined. My life is wasted. Shame on you. Shame on your parents. And shame on your Guru. (Crying) You may curse me and my parents.. ..but if you curse
my Guru Khakhad Dhajanand.. ..I will slap you. You idiot.
– Did you speak? No. your mother said it. Idiot, she cursed you.
– Yes. She cursed your parents.
– Yes. She cursed your Guru as well.
– That is what I objected. Still you don’t feel any rage? Idiot, you have shamed your mother. Come on open her veil with your hands. No, my celibacy will get corrupted. Ditch your celibacy. Open it quickly. My celibacy will get corrupted. Are you going to open it or not?
– No, no. Are you going to open it or not?
– I won’t open it. Open it quickly. If you force me to open the
veil I will complain to my father. You idiot. Open it. I say open it. Where are you going? I say open it. I won’t. Let me go. Let me go.
– Open it. Where are you going? I will complain to my father.
– Where are you running off? Father, my mother is forcing
me to give up my celibacy. Father, she is beating me.
-(Crying) Mother. (Crying)
– Don’t cry, dear. Don’t cry. Fruits of patience are very sweet.
– (Crying) “Sita and Rama dwell
in the whole world.” A lizard fell on me. A woman’s blouse while
reciting Hanuman Chalisa.. Hail Lord Hanuman,
the repository of knowledge. Hail Lord Hanuman,
the Lord of the three worlds. An insect fell on me. A woman’s skirt. Lord Hanuman, please save me. Hail Lord Hanuman,
the repository of knowledge. (Anklets tinkling) The sound of anklets.. Lord Hanuman, since when
did you start wearing anklets? Please tie the strings of my blouse.
I am unable to tie them. (Chuckles) Ask mother to do it.
– I can’t ask mother. Then ask my father. He is used to it.
– I can’t ask father. I cannot touch you. If I tie the strings of blouse today.. ..then tomorrow I may
feel like doing your hairstyle. Wow, that would be great. My long hair plaited by celibate man. (Laughs) O Lord Hanuman. Keep away. Keep away.
Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. I won’t touch on one condition. You have to tie the
strings of my blouse. It is not possible. Where are you, O Lord Hanuman,
the repository of knowledge? If you don’t tie it I will
put you under your father’s oath. My father won’t die if
you put me under his oath.. ..for the sake of the
strings of your blouse. You are under your mother’s oath. Your oath is not powerful.. ..and due to your weak oath,
my hefty mother won’t die. You are under the oath
of your Guru Khakhad Dhajanand. You too know the name
of my Guru Khakhad Dhajanand? Oh, God. Respected Guru,
you are so powerful. She put me under your oath. Guru Khakhad Dhajanand,
to protect your honour.. ..to protect the
honour of your oath, I.. ..I will have to touch
the strings of her blouse. Yes.
– Mercy, Guru Khakhad Dhajanand. Turn your back.
– I have turned. Do not turn to face me, okay? It is okay. Tie it. (Crying) Tie it quickly.
– Wait. I am sweating. (Laughs) (Shivering) Guru Khakhad Dhajanand,
why do my hands tremble.. ..while tying the strings of her blouse? Why do I start sweating? Guru Khakhad Dhajanand,
please protect me. No! No! No! No! Help! No!
Why are your eyes becoming seductive? Help! Help! (Laughs) I am feeling ticklish. (Thunder crashing) (Thunder crashing) (Shivering) (Thunder crashing) (Sighs) There is so much joy in this world.. ..but you kept me away from
this joy for such a long time. Curse on you, Guru Khakhad Dhajanand. Even if my father and mother scold me..
– (Anklets tinkling) ..I will help my wife.
– (Anklets tinkling) (Anklets tinkling) Oh, daughter.
No, no, your father’s daughter. You will collapse under
the weight of this water pot. Let me help you. You want to help me but
if your mother comes here.. ..I will be in great trouble. Mother.
– Gaga, this doesn’t suit you. Daughter-in-law, hurry up.
Fill up water. Lots of work is pending. Come on. You still have to
hang clothes for drying. Come on. What are
you waiting for? Come on. You are taking her to
hang clothes for drying.. ..but I am suffering over here. Married life is so interesting. Curse on you, Guru Khakhad Dhajanand. Why are you pacing? Someone has to pace when a woman
in the house is having labour pains. Keep your hands on your back.
– Okay, I did it. Keep on pacing. God knows what will happen.
– Everything will be fine. Has anything bad happened till now? But something has to happen.
– It will happen. Listen, daughter-in-law
is having severe pain. What?
– Yes, childbirth is not taking place. Ask your son. But I had told you
to let me remain celibate. You didn’t listen.
– Listen. Do one thing. Call some experienced
midwives from the village. I have called two
midwives from the village. No midwife is available within
12 miles around the village. (Laughs)
– It depends on our luck. This is delivery of Gaga’s wife. 2 midwives are not enough. You will have to call 10 or 15.
– Keep quiet. Call the entire village. Call them.
– We need midwives. Call them. Hey, lady, say something. Say something.
– She is not saying anything. She has gone home.
– Old lady, tell me. What happened? She didn’t say anything.
– She went home. Come. Let us go and check.
– Okay. These two also went.
I too will go and check what it is. (Gasps) What is this? Mother and father fainted
on seeing the new born baby. Let me see what has been born. Wow. Wow. A son has been born. You have blessed our
family by being born here. Father, married life is very enjoyable.
– Yes. I didn’t know. Curse on you, Guru Khakhad Dhajanand. You have learnt all
the wisdom of the world.. ..right inside the womb. You are like Abhimanyu. You have been born in my image. Before addressing you as child-god.. ..let me check under your loin cloth. Wow. Child-god,
you have blessed us by incarnating. Now Rajwan will be in our control. But father, how did you kill Malde? That day there was a
tussle between Raj and Malde. I took advantage of that opportunity. (Gunshot) (Laughs) Do you understand how I killed him? Hats off to you. Brain. My father is very smart. Wonderful. Son, your father is very smart. This kind of father?
Such a mean father? Sister, did you see? Sister, did you see
our father’s black deeds? Won’t we have to bear
the burden of his sins? Yes, brother,
whatever happened was very wrong. It was wrong. This kind of father should
be killed in public square. There is still time
to expose his black deeds.. ..and to unite Raj and Rajwan. We must do something
before Rajwan marries Lakha. Keep a watch with alertness
and do not go anywhere. Gaga, what will we do about him? I have something he would like.
– What? Gaga, what are you doing? Cigarette.
Ladder to heaven. A cigarette. (Laughs) Hey, why are you going in? Get out. I am going in to get
something to light this. I have got a cigarette
but nothing to light it. We are in the same boat. I have got match box but no cigarette. Oh. God works in mysterious ways. He gives one thing but not the other. Now that we have got both,
cigarette and match box.. ..would you all like to smoke?
– Yes, yes, we will smoke it. Sit down you idiots. Here, light it. You too light one.
– Okay. You too light one.
And smoke as if it is your own. Constable, before becoming a constable.. ..did you use to work in folk theatre? Enjoy smoking.
Enjoy. Your mind should be in heaven. (Chuckles) How many can you see now? I see two of everything. And you?
– I too see two of everything. You see two of everything? And you?
– I see three of everything. Oh. You see three because
you are a constable. Now you will see four of everything. Now you will see eight of everything. You too will see eight of everything. Then you will see 16. Then you will see 32. And you will stop seeing anything. Can you see anything?
– I cannot see anything. Then go to sleep. Can you see?
– I too cannot see anything. You too go to sleep. Wow. Mister, can you see anything? I too cannot see anything.
– You too go to sleep. Sleep peacefully. Go. All of them are drugged.
None of them will wake up till morning. Heeral. He moved. Don’t move.