REJS cały film

REJS cały film


CRUISE NO TICKETS Screenplay Starring “Citizen…” “a black flag today…” “signifies total ban on swimming.” “In case of a sudden cramp…” “apply the first aid regulations.” Music Don’t struggle with current…
Keep strong and stay calm. Try to stay on the surface. Inform the lifeguard… carrying a cap
with a letter “B” on it. Don’t swim near unguarded beaches, as nobody will see you drowning. “Attention, attention.”
“Water is a dangerous element.” “Lifeguard Karas Kazimierz…” is requested
to return to his post immediately. Director of Photography Directed by – Do you have a ticket?
– Of course not. – And you?
– I don’t have it either. – So let’s enter anyway.
– Of course. Sorry, but I’m not from here
and I got lost. To the city centre straight?
And to the right? – Or to the left.
– OK. – Thank you very much.
– Excuse me, sir! To the city, I should go
across the river, right? I’m sorry,
I’m not from here. – Phew…
– What? One more control. Not good. Not good. – Wait, wait… No! Good!
– Why good? We’ll board like the man with the box,
officially. “With a box?” Let’s pretend
we have some business here! Excuse me! Excuse me! – Officially.
– What do you mean? On the ship. John, these two men
want to see the captain! Officially! Take care of them or…
Something of this kind. You know what? They’re taking us for someone who was
to come here with some business. Any criminal record? Nope. Any foreign languages? – Do you know any?
– Which one? Never mind which one. Just foreign. – No, I don’t know any.
– I don’t know. Even a little bit? Well a bit… the one,
how is it called… – French.
– Education? Maybe here, you know…
here on the cheek. Profession performed, learnt? – I graduated from high school.
– Very well. All right. You know, we had one student… You know, a student. Studied
geography. So what? Even nice… Yeah, in fact he was very nice.
But you know, on water… You need to be… you know… Marital status – YES.
Material status – YES. Citizenship – YES. Nationality… It’s wonderful here.
Wonderful. Wonderful. Thank you. Forest… forest… Fields, pasture…
It’s being mowed with a tractor. Excuse me, is it yours? Excuse me, is it yours? – Yes. Why?
– I’m so sorry. He behaved very badly.
He deprived me of my meal. – It’s impossible.
– I’m very sorry. – I’m engineer Mamon.
– I’m very sorry, Sidorowski. Have a look… Come here… Look, how beautiful it is. My wife, Christine. – Ms Mamon.
– I’m very sorry, Sidorowski. What have you done, Wojtek? Yeah… Yes. Wonderful… It’s wonderful here. Bundles of hay… Cows are eating… Houses with eaves. Oh! A tethered dog… Yeah… Yeah. In these circumstances, admiring the
beauty of the nature… Unique… Did you close all the windows
in our apartment? Damn deckchair. Drought wrought great havoc. Raspberries are over. What do you see there? A horse… a cow, a hen, a duck… A hen, a duck, poultry… In these circumstances, admiring the
beauty of the nature… And uhm… And unique… If you let me… And you as well… I’ll go and pick up my wife. Oh! That’s it! I see it! A road, probably to Ostroleka. What was that guy’s name?
It started with Si”…” Si… No! Impossible it started with Si… It’s wonderful here…
Really wonderful. I’m very sorry… but my wife is
very sorry because she’s sleeping. She fell ill, poor thing. In general
she tends to have these things: Colic, liver, spleen… Her leg… What operettas have I played in?
“The Haunted Manor”, “Halka” – “Jadzia the Widow”
– Where are you hanging around? – You got better, my poor thing.
– The key, I’m hungry. – I’ll introduce you.
– I’m pleased. Sidorowska. Mamon. – I’m Sidorowska, sir.
– Mamon! And this is our son… Romek! Well, me, for example,
I don’t go to the theatre at all. We go everywhere, sir.
Theatre, cinema, shows… Recently together with my wife, sir,
we went to… shopping mall… And I had
my camera ZORKA 5 with me… So I took some photos… I don’t like going to the cinema. Especially I don’t like watching
Polish movies. I’m simply bored. Foreign movies, yes, I gladly watch. Because foreign movies are ok.
You know? Somehow watching it, you know…
I don’t know… You can feel it.
Feel it simply. You know… Feel it. And Polish movie, sir,
is simply… boring… Nothing’s going on, sir.
Nothing. That’s true, sir… Bad dialogues…
Very bad dialogues in Polish films. Sir… No plot at all.
Nothing’s going on. It’s surprising
they don’t follow the foreign model. You know, after all… Take for example, sir,
a foreign actor… So this foreign actor,
his face, you know, shows something… It’s difficult for me now to say,
you know… It shows something… You know, sir, what I’m talking about.
And Polish actor, sir… It’s some void, sir…
Nothing! Absolutely nothing. Let’s say that Polish actor,
sir… Let’s say he plays, yeah? I saw once such a scene…
For example, well, I don’t know… For example, he starts his cigarette. He starts a cigarette… And, sir, he looks like this:
First into the right”…” Then he into left… And straight… And nothing… It drags on and on… Simply it drags on, sir
and there’s no end to it. I’m sitting in the cinema, sir…
Do you understand? And I’m looking at it…
sitting and looking, sir… as usual… So I’m looking and looking… And, sir, I feel like leaving…
the cinema… And I’m leaving… And, sir, who pays for this?
You, sir… You, madam… We pay…
It’s our money, sir… – Society.
– The entire society pay, sir… Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
I’d like to introduce our new friend, who will cruise together with us. I think… He’ll be in charge of:
Entertainment, culture and art. If you cooperate with him
you’ll be satisfied. Good luck. We know each other very little… So maybe I’d say
something about myself, first. I was born… I was born in Malkinia…
in 1937… in July… Well, I mean, in the middle of July…
In fact in the second half of July… 17th of July exactly. Yeah… So that’ll be all about myself
at the beginning… Do you have any questions? At every meeting
it’s always the same, somebody has to start. – Excuse me, may I?
– Of course. I have a certain question. – We’re listening.
– But I don’t know if I may? Yes, you may, you may.
Absolutely, go ahead. I’d like to swap beds.
I have such a situation… You know, sir, I’m surprised you
come up with such a problem. I only wanted to ask. And with whom, sir,
would you like to swap your bed? With nobody.
There’s an empty bed beside mine… Much better and wider… – How do you know that?
– I tried it. Well, yes. So… As a matter of fact,
I can tell you that… In fact you can swap.
I mean… You cannot. I think so. So I’m to sleep on the one…
that has been given to me. No. I mean…
Which one are you sleeping on now? The one that is… That is on the left
when I enter the cabin. OK. Mine is on the right. I’d like to introduce myself…
I’m engineer Mamon. Ladies and gentlemen. I’m not against meetings,
on the contrary, I hide no grudge against them but… Ladies and gentlemen, I’m Miss Mamon. Nobody is forcing us to sit here,
on the contrary, I’m sitting here
of pure pleasure. Ladies and gentlemen,
I’d like to say something about poetry precisely
which is what I do. I’d like to say
that poetry is some kind of… We can’t understand anything. Go to the centre
and speak louder. Go to the centre! Good morning. Well, I’d like to say something
about myself and arouse your interest in my… In my poetry,
which in fact is like a… Is a factor
which simply allows me to… Allows me to meet people,
enter their lives, their worries… Speak to the gentleman maybe… And this is why
I’d like to tell you how… how and under which conditions
my poems come to this world. It’s a strange thing in fact.
As strange… as I am. I have my own private world
in which I live. And you lack all this that I have:
Sorrow and… and nostalgia. – Sorrow and nostalgia.
– Sorrow and nostalgia! – We can’t hear.
– Sorrow and nostalgia! It’s not easy for me to write, let’s say
on a suggested subject. – What subject?
– Suggested subject. It’s difficult for him to write
on a suggested subject. And this is why… my subject… Let’s say, the subject
I keep working on… – Excuse me?
– Subject I keep working on. The subject I keep working on
is beauty of the nature… – Unexpressable.
– Undressable? Unexpressable. Wild nature. Uncontrollable. Let’s say with all these…
most artistic aspects. He’s speaking now…
speaking about the nature. It’s difficult for me
to speak like that… To you at this moment
as we’ve just met a while ago… But already… from your faces…
I can read the truth – about your past.
– About future. – About past.
– About our past. – If I were a clairvoyant…
– If he were a clairvoyant. – I could tell you more.
– He could tell us more. – But I’m not so…
– But he’s not so… Never mind. I can tell now,
I can even point with my finger. He can point with his finger. The faces that… Faces that
I could read the most. He can point with his finger
faces that he can… read the most. So maybe we’ll ask you to do it.
If you don’t mind… I wouldn’t like to do it…
You’ll find it in my poems… You’ll find it in his poems… During every lecture… Whenever
I do it among people I know… I choose one victim who… After a while
is completely devastated… They even might reach some kind of… – Nervous ecstasy.
– What ecstasy? Nervous ecstasy. – Where?
– During my lecture. During my lecture.
It causes me a lot of worry. It causes him a lot of worry. – I got used to it.
– He got used to it. I want to enter people’s lives,
I want to know their worries. I’d like to prevent… somehow… Let’s say… with my own writing,
I’d like to prevent… Some cataclysms, let’s say.
Or… Or even prevent some…
Moral decline. He wants to prevent moral decline. But these matters are… – Excuse me?
– I’m sorry. These matters are…
And everybody would agree… Especially for such people
who are here with us… I’d like us to initiate for passengers present on board… A soirée. As a part of this evening…
I’d like to do something that has never been done before. Something
that has never been done before. Talking about
the correct idea of an enter… I had it right. Talking about the correct idea
of an entertaining programme, I’d like to point out one flaw. Emphasis is placed
on the intellectual and spiritual side, And we pass over the physical site. I’d suggest
following sports disciplines: – I’d like to take the floor.
– Swimming, wrestling, boxing. Everyone can criticise.
But I have a feeling, sir, that criticising the others
doesn’t do any good to anyone. Therefore taking into consideration, the fact that we may be criticised,
we must arrange things in such a way not to be criticised.
General approval and acclaim only. Approval for the decisions
we will take. I think what you are talking about
is quite reasonable… And… I think we simply need it. In this case, we should start
and create something. Organize things. I agree.
Let’s stop talking but start acting. I want to say few words. I suggest choosing the gentleman,
who is running this meeting. To be a candidate for a Cruise Council.
Anybody against? No? Thank you. Thanks. In this case
now I would like to propose the second candidate for this Council.
I suggest choosing this gentleman, who announced my candidacy.
Any objections? The voting taking place here, would be considered invalid
in some important institutions. There are three ways of voting.
First one by applauding. Everybody applauds. Second way… Using balls. Everyone entitled to vote receives
black and red balls… Excuse me, not black and red
but black and white… We use black one to vote for or
the opposite… The black ball is against and
the white one is for, or the opposite. There’s also a third way,
by raising hands. And this way is the best. But what method should we apply
to choose the method of voting? Gentlemen. Let’s not forget, that it is to be a surprise
for the captain. A total surprise. The thing is that we don’t want
the captain to know about it. I have an idea. Gentlemen, listen. I think we should do something
and keep it secret. It has to be a secret
captain can’t guess. There’s another thing
I need to tell you. The anniversary is on Tuesday. So we have to decide here and now
how we are going to celebrate it. Are we going to celebrate it
singing or… maybe reciting poems, gentlemen,
or… Shall we dance
and do some gymnastic show? Now,
this is the most important issue. We do it this way,
that way or the other? An idea of a show,
that has never been seen before, emerges from this discussion. Idea of something completely new. A new value may emerge
only by merging two different conflicting values.
If we want to get a new value, we have to clash
physical elements with the spiritual values. If nature,
in other words, something physical, is primary, it is a thesis.
Then culture is an antithesis of it. And a synthesis
is what we want to get. When one of us exercises, it represents nature – thesis. When another person sings,
it represents culture – antithesis. If we want to create art
answering our standards, we must put more emphasis
on the physical element, without forgetting
about spiritual side. This is the new strategy of synthesis. This is the new conception of art. And? I must say I like it. Yes. I’m of the same opinion
because it’s sad. – Yeah.
– Formally, it’s very interesting. I like the melody.
I’ve never heard it before. I like it that you’re saying
you like it. The beginning looks promising,
I think. Especially this part: “When I have you by my side!” Yes. This is good. I imagine it with some ballet. Why would you like to combine it? Simply because the melody here
doesn’t have any specific… well… no specific lyrics. We could suggest a subject
by dancing. You’re talking about lyrics but
you have in mind the content, which is missing here.
If it’s a form without any content, then the objectivity value is missing
so it’s pure formalism. And this is dangerous but
formalism is dangerous also because when there’s no content,
then a different sense can be given, to music, even such a sense,
which we wouldn’t like it to have. If it was the other way round…
I don’t know… – After all you liked it, didn’t you?
– Me? Well, yes. Sir, I have analytical mind.
I like melodies, which I have already heard.
It’s as simple as this. You know… reminiscences. How can I like a song,
which I hear for the first time? But… in fact…
What did you want to express? – Well… my heart…
– Your heart with whose heart? With her heart. – So you’re singing to a woman?
– Yes. But we are preparing it…
We’re to sing for the captain. Well, for the captain
it’s probably not the best. – It doesn’t really match.
– What can we do now? After all, maybe it’s a good idea
to combine it with dancing. Create a whole story.
It wouldn’t be that bad. We can try.
Go ahead and sing. Don’t stress. You’re not a child. “Nobody wants us…” “God, save the Tsar…” Excuse me. Stop it. We’re not alone on this ship,
so it’s better, you know… We decided
to prepare it for the captain. Sing, please, but rather quiet. Could you hold it, please?
Yes, go ahead. Good. “Goodbye, beautiful girl”. “Goodbye, beautiful girl,
Our country needs me. I’m leaving for war,
To fight like other lads. And although I know,
What will probably happen, Don’t cry, beautiful girl,
We’ll meet in heaven”. Well, it’s even not bad, but… I’m not completely sure…
In fact, I don’t like it at all that they are to meet in heaven,
as you sang it… If you just think
where else they could meet… Everywhere but heaven. “And although I know…”
Change from here. I forgot the lyrics. “Don’t cry, beautiful girl…”
What did you say… – “And although I know…”
– “What will probably happen “Don’t cry, beautiful girl
We’ll meet in a GRAVE. – Instead of heaven. In a grave?
– What is this rhyme? In my opinion if anybody
can be interested in it… If there is someone who likes it, then it means,
he doesn’t love his mother. Sir,
I also go to see fashion shows, but I am not saying
I do it because I love my mom. Twaddle. Preying on youth and exploiting it
is more practical, but it’s not art. In old days, painters
painted old and gnarled people. And this is the most beautiful…
The best paintings show old people. Sir, there is a saying,
you know… So there is such a saying,
that youth must have its fling. If it’s really like that, then, when it comes to old age,
sir, then what? Sir, I personally think that,
the truth and the beauty are absolute values
combined by dialectics. There can be an awful truth
and a beautiful lie. Right? However, art
is an independent value. Right? It was the truth, the artistic truth
about an old man. But about a young man too.
Young man who will become old. Right? “Nobody wants us…” – I’ve something to tell you.
– I’m listening to you. In ladies toilet somebody wrote
“The leader is stupid”. What? In ladies toilet somebody wrote
“The leader is stupid”. – And you have noticed that?
– Yes, Sir. That’s the evidence. Very well. Keep it. And thank you very much. Keep all the time your eyes and ears
open on all the matters… In general be aware
what’s going on… In general. What were you doing
in a ladies toilet? – Me?
– You, not me. When a men’s room is busy,
I go to the first, which is free. – What were you doing there?
– The usual. – But in a ladies toilet?
– I do the same as in the one for men. With some things you shouldn’t
exaggerate. Remember that. You have never been
to a ladies toilet? We have to react. Obligatory. Let people know they won’t
get away with such things. We could make a trial.
You are an expert in these matters. I can’t suggest who did it. We have to investigate,
how it happened, who took part in it,
or who is suspected. We must conduct a normal
investigation, but a tiny one… And we must apply
some punishment. It must approved
by the body of judges in order to scare off the others and prevent
such acts of wild vandalism. – Maybe not the death penalty…
– No, when it comes to such acts… That’s what we all say,
but they must be punished… “It was May, lilac started to bloom… We looked together at the full moon…” I’m deeply moved. It touched my emotions. It’s somehow exciting. What about you? What about you? – Eh!
– What? What do you think? – About what?
– What do you mean “about what”? – I don’t understand.
– What do you think about the song? What song?
I’m very sorry, I wasn’t listening as I was deep in my thoughts. Don’t sing one more time.
What was it about? Could you sum up in few words.
I’ll listen and think about it. It’s short.
You can put it in three sentences. He’s alone. He doesn’t have
a girlfriend. And he’s not doing well. There’s so much hopeless sorrow
in this song, so much of nameless longing and hopes which have never been
fulfilled… that it grabs my heart. This song? Yes. I don’t know because, frankly speaking,
I haven’t heard the song, and I wanted to say few words
about it because I think, gentlemen,
you are misinterpreting what you have heard.
If someone here, at this moment, at present, in very specific circumstances,
as we all are here of sound body and mind… So if someone sings,
that he’s not doing well, that he doesn’t have any goal in life, nowadays, when the world around us
is full of goals. We can see the number of goals
increasing day by day, People are working
shoulder to shoulder, they are everywhere together,
feel attached one to another and suddenly someone is singing that he’s alone, has hard time adapting,
doesn’t have anybody, that he longs for something
hardly definable, since we all know that we have
very clear goals, defined aspirations, and we long
for something clearly defined. If someone signs like that,
he can’t be singing seriously. That’s the problem. Don’t interrupt me.
He can’t be singing seriously. You are misinterpreting
this song. He’s ironic, playful and humorous, about the subject of his song. Therefore I believe
this song is not sad, pessimistic and, as you claim,
grabs your heart, it’s not tearful. In my opinion, this song is optimistic, cheerful,
with many humorous elements. We need such cheerful,
optimistic and sound songs. We even need sometimes
humorous and ironic songs. So I would interpret it like this. But where do the tears in his eyes
come from? I move that the singer
should be assign to a sports section. First, he won’t be alone. Second, he will learn
how to be more optimistic in life. Even more optimistic than he is now. Right. Third and the most important,
he will stop singing. Dutch painters painted
old and gnarled people. They didn’t hide the ugliness of their
models but showed their beauty, as they kept distance
to their material. In our show, we are both,
the material and the artists. So if someone was physically
imperfect, he wouldn’t know where his ugliness starts
and where it ends. So he wouldn’t be able to have an appropriate distance
towards himself. And for this reason, I think, I’m personally unable to further
take part in this gymnastic show. I can’t find the distance. Why? I can’t be an artist
and a material at the same time. I believe I have the right to choose. Obviously. Please. – It was you, sir.
– Yes. Please. You, sir. No, please. It was me. Excuse me? If it wasn’t you,
it must have been me. Not at all. Please. Sir, please, go ahead. Please, sir. We are very glad. First question.
Can you hear me? – Me?
– Yes, you. – I can hear you. Next question. What is the name
of the city by the Vistula River? I can add that it’s the same
as the name of one of Polish kings. – But what city is it?
– I’m asking you what city it is. Then I don’t know. Kazimierz!
Do you have our key? Please, don’t suggest the answers. The answer is Keyberg. – Wrong answer. It’s Kazimierz.
– Roman. Next question, please. Domestic animal, living on a farm,
near the Vistula River. Give us the sound it usually makes. Could you repeat the question? Domestic animal, living on a farm, near the Vistula River,
give its sound. I’m Piotr Pietrzyk from Rzeszow. You misunderstood.
I don’t need your name. Answer the question.
The sound of this animal. How much time do I have to answer? Be precise.
Do you know the answer, or you don’t? Of course… it’s a cow. What will the jury say? A cow is ok. But we meant… – A horse.
– A horse and the sound it makes. Stop. Time is over. What will the jury say? The answer isn’t correct.
We meant the sound made by a muzzle. Bumpety-bump… bumpety-bump… This was what we meant. Questions are tendentious. How come you found yourself
locked in ladies toilet? I’m asking you for your own good. You will have to justify yourself
in front of me and in front of this gentleman,
who conducts the investigation. Why did you come late
for the rehearsal, why didn’t you go out on time,
why didn’t you shout You simply
didn’t show up at rehearsal. I was shouting
but nobody heard me! – Why didn’t you go out?
– I was banging the door with my fist! Don’t raise your voice at me.
I’M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!!! “Swoosh of surf, trilling birds,
Golden sand among the trees. All these things at summer time
Make me always think of you. Make me always think of you. Sha-ba-da-ba”…”” But wait, wait, wait…
This song… You were to sing a song
which would be more engagé. And I let myself get involved
in such a… But this is an engagé song. – It is.
– How come? It must be preceded
by some introduction… For example, it’s happening
in Greece or Portugal where unfortunately love can’t bloom.
There’s no place for love now. Yes. If we make this introduction
it’s obvious. So we need this introduction.
All right. Very well. Sha-ba-da-ba… “Swoosh of surf, trilling birds,
Golden sand among the trees. All these things at summer time
Make me always think of you. Make me always think of you. Any new proofs?
Maybe some new evidence… Engineer Mamon
went to ladies toilet. We must fight for justice.
I’m absolutely determined to do it. You are an expert in these matters,
so you know how to do it. I don’t want to butt in. Engineer Mamon must be punished.
We must sentence him. We must really prove he’s guilty! Exactly, so go and find it. Find, Mister Waclaw. I need time to work this case out.
I must find the proof. Do it today until lunchtime… Take care of it.
We don’t have time for such things… It’s getting out of our hands. Dear friends. I think the situation
got to the point when we should clearly and openly
express certain opinions… I think… we should expel one person
from the Cruise Council. I hope,
everyone will agree with me. We have to formulate charges,
which we already have, and after having them formulated,
we must find a person, who would match our idea
and these charges… And after we must simply expel
this person. That’s it. On board of this ship there is a person,
who… during the office hours abuses beer. Therefore it should be
obvious to everybody… – Do you have someone in mind?
– Yes, I do. – Then we shall formulate the charges.
– Shall we? – We shall.
– It’s engineer Mamon… Engineer Mamon. Apparently, gentlemen,
we all agree when it comes… to engineer Mamon… – Mamon.
– Mamon. Yes. So… Do we…
Do we still need to… In your opinion,
do we still need to… pass a resolution?
No we have already past it. And we will inform… Of course, the interested party.
Mister Mamon. Shouldn’t he be one of the
signatories to this resolution? No! In my opinion… We will see…
If he insists… maybe we can… No, we will get into a debate, and we will stray from the subject,
which we have just raised. He may bring counter arguments…
and will try to defend himself… I’ll be damned, gentlemen! I spent ages in line in this bar, just to get 4 beers.
Maybe some of you fancy… Here you go. “Full light”. Here you have. – Bloody good, isn’t it?
– No… not really… Mister Mamon… You came
slightly late to our meeting, and in consequence
you aren’t fully aware of issues we mentioned here
just few moments ago. Not to mention the fact that we are all obliged to
appear at meetings on time… I’m very sorry
for being late this time… I understand, I really do.
Of course… But the things are… that this gentleman here has
a very precise thing to tell you. It’s quite unpleasant
but he decided that he would tell you about it.
Go ahead. It has been noticed… that you… Let’s not talk about what
has been noticed. We know it already. It’s not really about the beer
but… about using these words. But what have we
finally decided and agreed to? We have decided that you would be
expelled from the Cruise Council. We have a feeling,
it will be better for you… as you seem to have very little time
and don’t have free moments to devote to matters
connected with the Cruise Council. – It’s a little bit…
– You’ll have time to drink beer. – Let’s not be spiteful.
– Thank you very much. Engineer, I wanted to thank you
very much for your cooperation… We used to get on very well,
It was nice an pleasant. – It’s a pity…
– Goodbye, gentlemen. Happy Birthday to you! Live a hundred years! Happy Birthday to you! Live a hundred years! Stop, stop, stop! I’m telling you, it should be
a cheerful, optimistic song. You were a member of the gymnastic
section so you should be more positive. You were active there…
you were among people… – Josef, more lively…
– Your “Happy” is so empty. The song you sang to us, the one we analysed,
was happy and optimistic. – “Happy”!
– Stop smiling to me! Smiling doesn’t help,
sing happily and cheerfully. When you sing in a non-optimistic way,
nothing good comes out. Not singing happily, makes it
pessimistic, rotten and gloomy. And it is to be an optimistic event.
Full of real optimism. This is, sir, some disgusting,
perverse pessimism, because you are not only smiling
but also singing grimly! So, I won’t repeat, sing in a
optimistic way! Right now! Happy! “Happy birthday”! – He got so nervous.
– Yes, he’s shouting at me… “Happy birthday”!
No, it doesn’t work! “Happy birthday to you!
Live a hundred years”! – It’s really awful…
– “Happy birthday, happy birthday”! Haaaaaaappy! Haaaaaaaappy! In this case
we won’t sing anything. “Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Live a hundred years! Happy birthday, happy birthday! Live a hundred years! And one more time, Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday! Live a hundred years!
Happy birthday to you! Live a hundred years!
Happy birthday to you! And one more time,
Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you”!

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  1. ciekawe ,ze zrobil ten film czlowiek który wspolpracował z SB ,donosił na kolegów.TZW TW. Film nie mial montażu [z różnych wzgledów] Jerzy Dobrowolski został ztego filmu …wykreslony. Jest ciekawy ale pomyscie ilu filmowców,aktorow ktorzy nie chcieli byc Tw mogloby moze lepszy nakręcic…a nie mieli ku temu mozliwości. SB robilo filmy przeciw sobie? hmm. dziene ..ale prawdziwe. Otwierali wentyle,spuszczali pare i w pewnym momencie za duzo tej pary poszlo.Wszystko bylo pod kontrola. Ja rzadze ,ty jestes w opozycji, ciebie opluwamy,ty opluwasz nas….no i przyszedl rozkaz Z moskwy .No i zrobili przewrót, no i rzadza do dzisiaj z Komunistycznej inaczej brukseli.Już"demokratycznie" legalnie, pelna wolnosc państw UE …tylko banan musi byc taki i taki, zarowki takie i takie, nleka ma byc tyle i tyle, mięsa tyle i tyle, boga ma juz zupełnie nie byc. a ludzie niech sie gzą niech beda skindleni.niech sie pie …ola nawzajem. Zlodzieji będa wybierac. Polityką sie nie zajmoac. wreszcie bedzie nowy porzadek swiata. A ten rejs to zaczal.potem czolwiel z marmuru ciąg dalszy,potem człowiek z żelazy zakończenie. a potem bolek prezydentem. a Gwiazda jak biedak dożywający dni. Światli czerwoni europejczyzy spod znaku Czerwonych Brygad [Joszka fischer] i bojówek komunistycznych fdJ przybudówki Stasi [Merkel. rządza do dzisiaj

  2. Czy ktoś z Państwa zauważył brak na statku Jerzego Dobrowolskiego który z Tymem przybywa na nabrzeże ? ( –2:40 )

  3. Oglądam to już chyba setny raz, no kurwa, chyba jak inwokacji Pana Tadeusza, dialogów tych będę uczył się na pamięć, każda scena warta jest OSCARA…

  4. Piekny Film.. Pokazuje cala komune Marksizm w pigilce… Czyli kult jednostki, upadek moralnosci i terror komuszy jak ktos sie nie podporzadkuje…

  5. Typowy polski film – nuda, nic się nie dzieje, dialogi niedobre, bardzo niedobre dialogi, w ogóle brak akcji. Nic, pustka.

  6. Ale komentarze ,sami krytycy filmowi,he he he ,prawda jest taką że większość aktorów tam chlało ,przychodzili na plan nawaleni albo na kacu i plotło co im ślina na język przyniesie nie trzymając się scenariusza jedna wielka masakra .

  7. Często spotyka się opinie(również tu w komentarzach)że film ponadczasowy pokazujący czasy PRL…Moim zdaniem ponadczasowość polega na tym że film jest aktualny dzisiaj,wyprzedził swoją epokę.

  8. Rejs po prostu trzeba polubić.
    Jest to ten rodzaj humoru i aluzji politycznych, które nie muszą trafiać do wszystkich. Według gustu przecież czy postrzegania tamtych lat,. Komuś pasuje kabaret nowaki, komuś dudek. Nie ma się co żreć o pietruszkę. Na pewno genialność ponadczasowa rejsu tkwi w jego nietypowym z pozoru nudnym klimacie. Ciągnie się, ciągnie i niby nic się nie dzieje. To nie dwunastu gniewnych ludzi – pełnego ekspresji. A jednak oba filmy łączy inteligencja podania tematu. rejs kocham od lat. Tak samo jak seksmisję, obcego czy władcę pierścieni. Dużo by wymieniać bo przecież każdy film na inną pogodę. Jak komu pasuje, to niech się żre. Niech prowokuje, robi za błazna. Rybki złapane na pusty haczyk też. Nie pozdrawiam. To przegadane 🙂 Oglądać i tyle 🙂

  9. polska kinematografia byla w pewnym sensie dla mnie szkola zycia i strasznie duzo jej zawdzieczam w zyciu.

  10. PAMIETAM TE STARE PAROSTATKI WISLANE Z POCZATKU LAT SZESDZESIATYCH I SAM RAZ ODBYLEM JEDEN REJS JAKO 18 STO LATEK. POZNIEJ MOZNA BYLO OGLADAC ICH WRAKI W REJONIE CZERNIAKOWA JESLI SIE NIE MYLE.

  11. Ciekawe skąd Bareja wziol ludzi do tego filmu. Patrząc z perspektywy czasu są naprawdę bardzo dobrzy inaczej ten film nigdy nie wszedł by na ekrany. A podobno to był spontan.

  12. This soo totally incredible. I have watched Rejs for the FIRST TIME in my life today. I left Poland 20 years ago after my studies and I studied flim & media knowledge. For some unbelievable reason I've never watched rejs! Last 20 years I've had very little to do with polish culture. This movie today, this unexpectedly being transported back to the roots , laughing my ass of, this specificity of polishness present in every fiber of the movie and many, many layers this masterpiece has in – it's quite a ride for me today! I wish there was a way of translating the specifics into other languages, unfortunately I don't think it is ever possible. Polishness is untranslatable, but still sooo enjoable. Dziekuje serdecznie za mozliwosc obejrzenia. Tez uwazam, ze film zasluguje na Oskara.

  13. Poza smutną refleksją pare razy wybucha się serdecznym śmiechem! A skoro tamten czas nas nie zabił tzn ,ze nas tylko wzmocnił.Czy myśmy to rzeczywiście przeżyli?

  14. ten film jest kinomatograficznym dzielem !!! – na wysokim szczeblu 👍 . To logiczne podejscie ,do ludzkiej glupoty ,wspaniala gra aktorow – Satyra polskiego zycia w P.R.L – AT IT BEST , BRAWO 👏 Pozdrowienia z Montrealu 💌

  15. co jest do diabla z tymi zebami u tych ludzi ??? Lol . pamietam dobrze ,gdy jako dziecko,zylam w Polsce ,dentysci byli w szkolach i to darmowi .Do tej pory mam piekne zeby ,a juz mam 64 lata ha,ha.

  16. Ponadczasowy to ten film jest absolutnie cały. Szczególnie dzisiaj, jak sobie myślę o belgijskich feministkach paplających coś tam sobie o udziale kobiet w procesach pokojowych w Somalii na tych zjazdach międzynarodówki w Mosk.. ekhem w Strasburgu. Jak słucham o bananowych regulacjach, parytetach w siłach zbrojnych, niemieckich oficerach transwestytach, brytyjskich bokserach po zmianie płci co pannice obijają na ringu, procesach w sądach o "mowę nienawiści", interwencjach policji po "niepoprawnych" tweetach, dziennikarzach nie wpuszczanych do krajów, kasowanych kont na portalach społecznościowych, teńczowych flagach na wieżach kościołów, meczetach pełnych wiernych i marksistowskich kafejkach w kościołach w Berlinie. Wszystko w imieniu wielkiego postępu! Obywatele Europy! Łączcie się w walce o nowy wspaniały świat!
    Eeeh, dla kumatego Polaka to stare baśnie, lepiej uśiąść wygodnie z boku, otworzyć piwo i delektować się komedią. Ciekaw jestem kiedy im na zachodzie od tego wszystkiego wykształci się taka wrażliwość ironiczna i zmysł omijania cenzury.

  17. u asshole u so funny,rozwalasz ,mnie tym filmem za każdym razem ,jak ktoś tego nie rozumie to jego problem,wyrafinowany żart aby nie nazwać tego sarkazmem,rocznik 1972 ale kultowy w moim środowisku, dzieki!!! wybacz ale mieszkam w USA od 1991 nawet nie staram sie nikomu tłumaczyć,obywatelu zachowaj siły i spokój….nikt nie zauważy twojego utonięcia,służbowo na statek hahaha i to jest 1-sza minuta filmu

  18. trzy razy obejrzałem i uwazam ze film jest genialny
    jednocześnie prosty i błyskotliwy.
    i muzyka…. ta z wstepu i ta z gimnastyki, coś jest w niej zajebiście ujmujacego.
    sam nie wiem dlaczego sie tak jakby zakochałem w tym filmie…przeciez nie zyłem w PRLu.

  19. ISKRA – wyszła z Polski.
    A teraz – Płomień – zaczyna wracać – z zewnątrz". Katharina B.

    " Ten się cieszy,kto sie cieszy ostatni" .To tak dla pokrzepienia serc po tych przedziwnych w skalo Europy wyborach,Przedziwnych,bo nagły skok frekwencji i to po 17. (po południu!) świadczy o ogromnym strachu ….przed Konfederacją.
    1/ No cóz,rośnijmy w siłę i nie dajmy sie wywabić na ulicę inaczej,jak w pokojowych ,zorganizowanych marszach.Zeby mlodych nie rozstrzelali jacyś "przebierańcy" w polskich mundurach i z polskiej broni;
    2/wiadomo,o co chodziło- o 447.Dla 300mld można wiele zrobić,wiele zlego tez.Mam zamiar dożyć pokojowego zwyciąstwa Konfederacji.A jak nie,będę z chmurki popatrywac i podstakiwać z radości 😉
    3/tylko sie nie zalamywać, już i 120 lat byliśmy w niewoli,teraz leci 80 rok. Czyli – okupanci oraz chętni na okupantów: niewiele juz wam zostało!

  20. ponoć maklakiewicz i himilsbach nie dali rady nagrać wszystkich scen bo leżeli najebani pod pokładem 😀

  21. Postać grana przez Dobrowolskiego znika kompletnie po wejściu na statek. Czytałem, że sceny z jego udziałem zostały wycięte. Czy ktoś wie coś na temat ewentualnej wersji reżyserskiej, albo rozszerzonej?

  22. W czasie zebrania, w scenie z poetą Tym się zgotowal.Sam kiedyś w wywiadzie do tego się przyznal😉😂

  23. " A w polskim kinie jest tak.. nuda… nic się nie dzieje proszę pana. Dialogi nie dobre są" Maklakiewicz przewidział współczesne kino polskie 😛

  24. to jest komedia satyryczna; pokazuje absurdy w jakich ludzie sami sie umieszczaja; z wielu powodow; to nie tyle satyra na panstwo socjalistyczne co na ludzi z tegoz panstwa; dosc dobrze pamietam lata w PRL-u i powiem: tak wlasnie bylo; i, co wazniejsze – ludzie sie wcale nie zmienili; zmienily sie tematy, dzis mamy idiotow z lgbt, walczacych z kosciolem, "europejczykow" bardziej europejskich niz sami europejczycy; itd. chcialabym, zeby znalazl sie jakis zdolny rezyser i nakrecil film- pastisz; satyre na dzisiejsze czasy; ale czy tacy jeszcze sa? to co teraz kreca to jeszcze gorsze niz to co krecili w PRL-u; wtedy to byl przymus i jak ktos nie byl wystarczajaco inteligentny to nic ciekawego nie nakrecil, ale dzis?!

  25. "..Były maje , były bzy. Byłaś też dziewczyno Ty.."" ……….Proponuję przesunięcie kolegi śpiewaka do sekcji gimanastycznej . Nabierze optymizmu życiowego, jeszcze więcej opytmizmu życiowego . Nie bedzie sam tylko w kolektywie . Po trzecie , co jest też ważne, przestanie śpiewać!!! hahaha, jedna ze scen . profesor i poeta tez wymiatają ,Riposta profesorka do tego Pana nierozgarnietego przy kosci :
    pan: ltkolwiek moze bawic sie , podoba mu sie to tzn nigdy w zyciu nie kochal swojej matki
    profesorek : Psze Pana ja tez chodze na pokazy mody, ale nie znaczy to ze robie to zmiłosci do własnej matki

  26. Komuna rozwalała mózgi. A najgorsze to rozwalenie trzyma nas do dzisiaj. U niektórych trzyma bardziej.

  27. Pozdrowienia dla wszystkich, którzy nie są w stanie zrozumieć tego filmu. A rozumieją różne Avangery, X-many, Transformersy i Kapitana Amerykę…… Że o Klanie czy Barwach Szczęścia nie wspomnę……

  28. Może nie cały film mnie zachwyca, ale są momenty kapitalne. Oczywiście, że jest to satyra na polską rzeczywistość, ale jednocześnie komedia najczystszej postaci z doskonałymi dialogami, wspaniałą grą aktorską, komizmem postaci oraz gagami. Przy okazji świetna rozrywka, która wyzwala wzmożoną produkcję endorfin.

  29. Za każdym razem jak oglądam widzę coś nowego czego nie zauważyłam wcześniej. Tym razem były to dwa zegarki na ręce śpiewaczki 🙂
    Każda sekunda tego filmu ma coś w sobie, nic nie dzieje się przypadkiem. A gra aktorska super. To wcale nie jest łatwe żeby zachować kamienną twarz przy tych absurdach.

  30. Co za chory kraj wtedy to był i powrównajcie teraz z ludzmi żyjącymi na Hawajach czy Karaibach. Ta szarość zimno i syf.

  31. Dobrze że już ten film widziałem, bo w innym przypadku by mi się nie podobał. Mnie się podobają filmy które już widziałem.

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