Stand Up Comedy (new) by Aditya Singh | Trains, Middle Class and Govt. Hospitals

Stand Up Comedy (new) by Aditya Singh | Trains, Middle Class and Govt. Hospitals


So, I was on my way here. Mein train mein aa raha tha. Mein ne earphones lagaye hue thee. Gaane sunn raha tha aur apne naakun chaba raha tha. Because that’s what you do to avoid people. Toh mere saamne ek buddhe uncle baithe thee, unhone tap kiya aur bola beta khudke naakun nahi khate. Toh mein ne aise kar diya… *chuckles* Bola uncle,”Bandra aane aane tak filing bhi kar dena.” *chuckles” Unke daant thode bahar thee toh (nervous smile) Uhh…then I got down. Mein ne ek couple ko dekha, woh andhe aur buddhe dono hi thee. So they were trying to get in a train. Tab tak kisine socha inki help kar dete hai, woh unka haath pakad ke handicapped and cancer patients, woh compartment mein chhadane laga. Tab tak dono ne apni chhadi nikali. Ek ne right se, ek ne left se dono ne milke usko kut diya. Bola, “CHUTIYA YEH DHANDE KA TIME HAI FIRST CLASS MEIN CHHADA.” *train whistles* (train timing is better than mine) Uh…see. Sometimes I talk about myself in third person. so (nervous smile) *waiting for audience to get the joke” Aap logon ne bhi notice kiya hoga agar aap galti se peak hours mein woh galat compartment mein chad jate ho handicapped and cancer patient wale mein aise hi mein bhi chad gaya woh handicapped wale mein tab tak TC mere pass aaya bolta hai, “Kya disability hai?” Mein ne bola baakiyon ko bhi pucho na Bolta hai, “Dikh raha hai kisi ka haath gayab hai, kisi ka pairr gayab hai.” Mein ne bola woh teesra banda Bolta hai, “uska baal gayab hai cancer hoga”. Tab tak woh chillata hai, “Nahi this is just early hair loss”. Mera Dr.Batra ka treatment chalu hai *chuckles* Ab woh mere pass aaya. Now, I had to make something up, toh mein ne yahan, wahan dekha aur phir mujhe baba “RAZA KHAN BENGALI” ke stickers dikhe toh mein ne usse padhna chalu kar diya uhh…mujhe gupt rog hai, shigrpatan hai, meri girlfriend chhod ke chali gayi *laughs* mera wajud nahi hai *chuckles* usne bola, “Tu luggage se jaa tu samajh pe bhoj hai.” *laughs* *still laughing* *laugh intensifies, whooo* (by a lone wolf in the audience) *laugh fading* *fading* So, I am from a middle-class family but, let me give you perspective how middle class I am. Dekho, aap logon ke ghar par “palak paneer” banta hoga mere ghar par “paani paneer” banta hai. Matlab, aap ne suna hoga ki SAI BABA bina tel, bina masale, bina aag ke khana bana lete thee. Kis se sikha? Meri mummy se *chuckles* Matlab, recently my father had an accident so we took him to government hospital, kyu ki MIDDLE CLASS Aapke…government. Matlab, aapke IRCTC mein confirm ticket milne ke jyada chances hai government hospital mein confirm bed se Matlab, mein confirm bed isliye keh raha hun kyuki peak season mein in log RAC bhi de dete hai Singh sahab tumhara kaunsa taang toota hai? Acha, right. Sharma tera kaunsa? Left. Ek kaam kijiye opposite direction mein gaand karke ek hi bed pe ho jayiye *laughs* *laugh intensifies* *still very much at it* *ab bhi has hi rahe hai* *ab tak* *chhodo sab kuch* *tum meri muskaan ki chamkaan dekho* Toh pappa ko leke leke…jaa rahe thee jaise operation ke liye I was just looking for one thing light bulb kyu ki bachpan se mein ne picture mein wohin dekha hai jab tak bulb chalu=papa chalu, bulb band=papa band *chuckles* *laughs* *some more laughs* Aur bahar leke aaye. Jaise logon ko pata chala, papa ka operation hua. Sab log dekhne aane lage with nariyal paani har koi nariyal paani pi raha hai I think so that nariyal paani should be declared as nation wide patients drink. Matlab, ek aisa samay aa chuka tha jab glucose ke baatli mein nariyal paani hai matlab, ek aisa samay aa chuka tha papa sirf dinn bhar nariyal paani pi rahe hai, aur shaamko “Parachute” ka tel mooth rahe hai *chuckles* *laughs* Mein jogging pe gaya aur mein ne notice kiya wahan buddhe kaafi aate hai toh mein 6:30 ko jata hun, aur woh 6:45 ko aate hai Toh 15 minute baad na hawa kaafi dushit ho jati hai. Mujhe lagta hai inke ghar wale bhi isliye inhe jogging pe bhej rahe hai ki yaar, hum chain se sona hai aap bahar jao Dekho… Logon ka insurance hota hai, lekin 60 saal ke umar ke baad PUC ki bhi jarurat hai. *chuckles* Toh mere bagal se ek buddha kaafi tezzi se bhagte hue nikla toh bhagte bhagte uska nakli daant ka jabda gir gaya toh mein ne utha ke awaaz lagayi Sir, sir, tau uhh…Milind Soman? *laughs* *laughs* Usne nahi suna. Mein ne kaha kaise sunta yaar? jabde ke bagal mein kaan ki sun ne wali machine bhi giri hui thii Aise 1 dinn mein brush kar raha tha aur mere nana aaye woh bhi brush karne lage, lekin jabda nikal ke he could see while brushing ki. Kya phasa hua hai? Mein ne bola chicken. Toh aise phek diya. Toh brush kyu kar rahe ho? Uss dinn ke baad se mujhe nana se baat karne mein kaafi darr lagta hai Bolun. Nana, yeh baat khaan kholke sunn na. Haan, beta batao *chuckles* *jabda fan of nana* You guys are fairly decent audience. Matlab, aap logon ko joke acha lagta hai. Aap haste ho, applaud karte ho. Mein hookah parlour mein perform kar raha tha. This is the weirdest form of appreciation that I have ever got ek banda mere saamne baitha tha usse joke acha laga usne teen challe banake, meri taraf bhej diye *laughs* *his way of rating artists probably* *1 aur challa deta audi ho jati meri* Ab mein ghar pe paucha Mummy puch rahi hai beta show kaisa gaya? Mein ne bola, Ek minute

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  1. This guy is brutally sarcastic. His sense of humor ❀.
    Now it's time to switch in hindi
    Aditya Singh ke fans like karo

  2. amazing bro jokes were superb; delivery ,i first felt could be improved but later it felt very unique so if you're trying to improve your delivery then you might reconsider that and discuss it with your comic friends. jokes were 'unexpectedly' funny and made me exhale air through my mouth and nose vigorously.

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