Stephen Colbert: The Newest Zealander Visits PM Jacinda Ardern

Stephen Colbert: The Newest Zealander Visits PM Jacinda Ardern


( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
FOLKS, I AM SO EXCITED BECAUSE I GOT TO GO TO NEW ZEALAND A FEW
WEEKS AGO AND STARTING TONIGHT I GET TO SHARE THAT TRIP WITH YOU
IN OUR SPECIAL WEEK-LONG SERIES,>>Announcer: THE “LATE SHOW”
WITH STEPHEN COLBERT PRESENTS “THE NEWEST ZEALANDER”! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: ALL I COULD THINK OF IS I WISHED EVERYBODY COULD
COME WITH US. SO WE DECIDED TO FILM IT. NEW ZEALAND IS ONE OF THE
GREATEST PLACES ON EARTH. THE PEOPLE ARE INCREDIBLE, THE
LANDSCAPES ARE ABSOLUTELY BREATH-TAKING, IT’S HOME TO BOTH
LORDE AND THE “LORD OF THE RINGS.” ( LAUGHTER )
AND, FUN FACT: THERE ARE NO PREDATORS IN THE WHOLE
COUNTRY, INCLUDING NO SNAKES. WHICH MEANS, DOWN THERE, ADAM
AND EVE WERE TEMPTED BY A SMEAGOL. ( LAUGHTER )
I’M ALSO A HUGE ADMIRER OF NEW ZEALAND PRIME MINSTER AND, I’M
GOING TO SAY, PERSONAL FRIEND JACINDA ARDERN. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO.>>Jon: THAT’S RIGHT, THAT’S
RIGHT.>>Stephen: IN 2017, SHE TOOK
OFFICE AS ONE OF THE WORLD’S YOUNGEST LEADERS AT THE AGE OF
37 AND, SINCE THEN, SHE’S ENACTED A
GROUNDBREAKING FAMILY LEAVE POLICY, BECAME THE FIRST HEAD OF
STATE TO BRING THEIR BABY TO THE FLOOR OF THE U.N., AND AFTER THE
TRAGIC SHOOTING AT A MOSQUE IN CHRISTCHURCH, SHE CALLED FOR
LEGISLATION TO BAN SEMI-AUTOMATIC WEAPONS. AND GOT IT PASSED WITHIN ONE
MONTH. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
NOW, PRIME MINISTER ARDERN, I’M HAPPY TO SAY,
SHE’S COME ON THE SHOW A COUPLE TIMES NOW, AND INVITED ME TO
VISIT NEW ZEALAND BOTH TIMES. THE SECOND TIME, SHE SAID, SHE’D
PICK ME UP AT THE AIRPORT! SO I GOT ON A PLANE TO SEE IF
SHE MEANT IT. AFTER 16 AND A HALF HOURS, I
ARRIVED AT NEW ZEALAND’S AUCKLAND AIRPORT, WHERE I WAITED
FOR PRIME MINISTER JACINDA ARDERN TO FULFILL HER PART OF
THE BARGAIN. HI! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU. ( LAUGHTER )
>>WELCOME.>>Stephen: THANK YOU. SO EXCITED TO BE HERE.>>OH, WE’RE PLEASED TO HAVE
YOU.>>Stephen: I’M SO AMAZED, YOU
KNOW, THAT YOU CAME TO PICK ME UP. THANK YOU SO MUCH.>>NO, IT’S NOT PARTICULARLY
EXTRAORDINARY AT ALL. I STILL DO THE AIRPORT RUN.>>Stephen: I HOPE I’M NOT
CUTTING INTO EXECUTIVE TIME.>>I’M A WOMAN, I MULTI-TASK, SO
DON’T WORRY.>>Stephen: IF YOU NEED TO
TWEET AT ANY MOMENT, I’M HAPPY TO HOLD THE WHEEL OR I CAN TWEET
FOR YOU.>>THANK YOU.>>Stephen: DO YOU HAVE YOUR
PHONE WITH YOU?>>I DO, I DO.>>Stephen: COULD I LOOK? IS THIS IT? IS THIS YOU?>>YEAH, THAT’S MY PHONE. YEAH.>>Stephen: LET’S LOOK AT THE
BABY! I’M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING. I JUST PROMISED YOU.>>YEAH.>>Stephen: COULD YOU UNLOCK
THAT? IS IT FACIAL RECOGNITION?>>IT IS NOT.>>Stephen: IT’S NOT FACIAL
RECOGNITION? IT’S NOT?>>NO.>>Stephen: ONE QUICK RULE, DO
NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT SINGING ALONG WITH THE RADIO, IF A SONG
COMES ON THAT YOU LIKE, BECAUSE THAT IS JAMES CORDEN’S THING,
AND THAT GUY IS MOBBED UP WITH LAWYERS AND HE WILL COME AFTER
US WITH A SHARP STICK.>>NO SING ALONG?>>Stephen: NO SING ALONG. ♪ GALILEO ♪
♪ I’M JUST A POOR BOY, NOBODY LOVES EH ME ♪
♪ HE’S JUST A POOR BOY WITH A POOR FAMILY ♪
♪ SPARE HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY ♪
WHAT’S THE BIRTHDAY?>>TWENTY-FIRST OF JUNE.>>Stephen: THAT’S NOT BAD. NO. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: OKAY, SO, SERIOUSLY, WE’RE SITTING HERE,
DON’T TELL ME, JUST UNLOCK IT. I JUST WANT TO SEE —
>>NO.>>Stephen: I’M NOT GOING TO
CALL ANYBODY. COME ON.>>NO. DEFINITELY NOT.>>Stephen: YOU’RE NO FUN. DO YOU KNOW THEM?>>NO, NO, I DO NOT. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: HOW ARE YOU GUYS? I RECOGNIZE YOU.>>Stephen: HER OR ME? JACINDA.>>Stephen: OH, OKAY. SEE YA. ( APPLAUSE )
IT’S NOT MY CODE. I USED MY CODE, THAT DIDN’T
WORK.>>HOW MANY MORE TRIES HAVE YOU
GOT LEFT THERE?>>Stephen: OH, ( BLEEP )! THAT PHONE IS DISABLED. ( APPLAUSE )
WE PULLED UP TO HER SUBURBAN AUCKLAND HOME AND AS SOON AS WE
SAT DOWN I GOT STRAIGHT TO MY AGENDA. MY FIRST QUESTION IS, CAN I BE A
CITIZEN?>>STRAIGHT OFF THE BAT.>>Stephen: I HAVE ONLY BEEN
HERE FOR ABOUT FOUR HOURS AND I’M ALREADY HAVING SEPARATION
ANXIETY KNOWING I’M GOING TO HAVE TO LEAVE HERE IN A WEEK.>>THAT’S EXACTLY HOW WE LIKE TO
MAKE PEOPLE FEEL.>>Stephen: WHAT’S THE
POPULATION OF NEW ZEALAND?>>WE’RE GETTING CLOSE TO
5 MILLION.>>Stephen: AND 4.6 MILLION
WERE EXTRAS IN “THE LORD OF THE RINGS.” ( LAUGHTER )
IS IT TRUE YOU AUDITIONED TO BE IN “THE LORD OF THE RINGS”?>>YES.>>Stephen: AND YOU DIDN’T GET
CAST?>>I DID NOT GET CAST, YEAH.>>Stephen: DOES PETER JACKSON
KNOW THAT HE DIDN’T CAST THE PRIME MINISTER OF NEW ZEALAND?>>I DON’T KNOW IF I’VE EVER HAD
THAT CONVERSATION WITH HIM.>>Stephen: DO YOU GUYS HAVE
TAX AUDITS HERE?>>WE DO.>>Stephen: COULD YOU SICK THE
TAX AUDITORS ON HIM?>>THAT IS INDEPENDENT.>>Stephen: IT IS IN THE
UNITED STATES, TOO. OH, TOTALLY INDEPENDENT, I GET
IT.>>ACTUALLY.>>Stephen: ACTUALLY. OH, I GET IT. ( LAUGHTER )
TOTALLY GET IT. YOU’RE VERY POLITE.>>YES, POLITE.>>Stephen: WHO’S MORE POLITE,
YOU OR THE CANADIANS?>>THERE ARE PROBABLY
SIMILARITIES.>>Stephen: THAT WAS POLITE. THE CANADIAN WILL GO WE’RE MORE
POLITE WHICH MEANS YOU’RE MORE POLITE.>>I CAN SAY THAT.>>Stephen: I’M AMERICAN, WE
CAN SAY ANYTHING WE WANT. ( LAUGHTER )
IS NEW ZEALAND THE FIRST COUNTRY TO GIVE ALL WOMEN THE VOTE BUT
THE FACT THERE ARE NO SNAKES HERE THAT’S THE BEST THING?>>WE LIKELY UNDERPLAY THE
SNAKES, BUT GIVING WOMEN THE VOTE.>>Stephen: SO REALLY NO
SNAKES?>>WE HAVE FOOD HERE AS WELL.>>Stephen: THERE ARE REALLY
NO SNAKES?>>NO SNAKES.>>Stephen: I’M SORRY, DID YOU
WANT PEANUT BRITTLE?>>I’M FINE, BUT THANK YOU.>>Stephen: LET ME KNOW IF YOU
CHANGE YOUR MIND.>>THANK YOU.>>Stephen: YOU RECENTLY GOT
ENGAGED TO YOUR PARTNER CLARK. ( DING )
WHEN IS THE WEDDING.>>WE HAVEN’T PLANNED ANYTHING.>>Stephen: DO YOU NEED A AN
OFFICIENT BECAUSE I’VE MARRIED PEOPLE BEFORE.>>THAT WOULD BE COOL. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF IT?>>(INAUDIBLE).>>Stephen: LET’S TALK — HE
HATES THE IDEA.>>HONEST TO A FAULT.>>Stephen: YOU’RE RUNNING FOR
REELECTION IN 2020.>>I AM.>>Stephen: DO YOU HAVE AN
ELECTORAL COLLEGE?>>NO.>>Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE
OURS?>>I LIKE OURS.>>Stephen: WHEN IS THE NEXT
ELECTION?>>I HAVEN’T SET IT YET.>>Stephen: YOU GET TO SET THE
ELECTION?>>YEAH.>>Stephen: HOW IS THAT RIGHT? IT’S A LITTLE UNFAIR.>>Stephen: CALL IT NOW. HOW COOL WOULD IT BE IF YOU
CALLED THE ELECTION RIGHT NOW ON TV.>>ARE YOU DOING, LIKE, A TRUTH
OR DARE?>>Stephen: DO IT. JUST DARING ME TO CALL AN
ELECTION?>>Stephen: DO IT. ( CLUCKING LIKE A CHICKEN )
>>I’M YOUNG BUT I’M NOT 12. ( APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: I HAVE A CAMPAIGN SLOGAN FOR YOU. MY FAVORITE, ARDEN 2020,
NEW ZEALAND, SAME PRIME MINISTER. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) THIS IS A WINNER, RIGHT?>>YEAH.>>Stephen: IF YOU’RE PRIME
MINISTER, DOES THAT MEAN YOU’RE ALSO PRESIDENT? IS THAT BUNDLED IN THERE?>>NO.>>Stephen: IS THERE A
PRESIDENT IN NEW ZEALAND?>>NO.>>Stephen: SO YOU COULD FLOAT
MY NAME? ( LAUGHTER )
>>I THINK PROBABLY CITIZENSHIP WOULD BE —
>>Stephen: AND THAT’S WHY I ASKED.>>THAT’S WHY YOU ACCOUNT. YOU HAVE A WHOLE CAREER PATH
HERE.>>Stephen: I’D LIKE TO BE A
CITIZEN BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M GOING TO DO HERE.>>IS THAT A PATHWAY,
TELEVISION.>>Stephen: TO PRESIDENT? YEAH.>>Stephen: RECENTLY IN THE
UNITED STATES IT IS THE PRESIDENT. FIRST HAVE A TELEVISION SHOW AND
THEN STRAIGHT TO PRESIDENT.>>OKAY.>>Stephen: I WANT TO TALK TO
YOU ABOUT THE AFTERMATH OF THE CHRISTCHURCH SHOOTINGS.>>MMM…>>Stephen: YOU MIDDLE EAST
PASSED GUN REFORM BANNING ALL MILITARY-STYLE ASSAULT RIFLES. THAT WAS INSPIRING TO THOSE OF
US WHO LIVE IN THE UNITED STATES WHO DEAL WITH GUN VIOLENCE. HOW DID YOU DO IT? I’M ASKING FOR 350 MILLION
FRIENDS OF MINE.>>WELL, YON, WE’RE PRAGMATISTS
IN NEW ZEALAND AND, SO, WHEN IT WAS DESCRIBED TO ME THE WEAPONS
THAT WE USED AND HOW EASILY THEY WERE OBTAINED, MY IMMEDIATE
REACTION WAS THAT CAN’T STAND, IT HAS TO CHANGE. AND, SO, YOU KNOW, I NEEDED THE
VOTES OF THREE POLITICAL PARTIES TO BE ABLE TO DO IT, BUT I DON’T
THINK I WOULD EVEN NEED TO ASK THEM IF THEY THOUGHT THE SAME
THING. SO I JUST WENT OUT THERE AND
SAID OUR LAWS WILL CHANGE AND, IN THE END, EVERY SINGLE MEMBER
OF PARLIAMENT EXCEPT FOR ONE VOTED FOR THAT CHANGE.>>Stephen: WE’VE GOTTEN TO
THE POINT WHERE, IN AMERICA, WE BASICALLY — WE HAVE A FEELING
THAT THE GUN LAWS CAN’T BE CHANGED.>>YEAH.>>Stephen: WAS THERE NO
RESISTANCE TO IT?>>THERE WERE SOME PEOPLE WHO
WEREN’T HAPPY ABOUT THE CHANGE, DON’T GET ME WRONG. WE TURNED SOMETHING THEY REALLY
PURCHASED INTO SOMETHING ILLEGAL, SO WE GAVE THEM THE
ABILITY TO BRING THEM IN AND PAID FOR THEM. WE HAVE A LEGITIMATE NEED IN
NEW ZEALAND, WE MAY NOT HAVE SNAKES BUT WE HAVE A LOT OF
THINGS THAT KILL OUR WILDLIFE, AND WE IDENTIFIED WHAT GUNS WERE
LEGITIMATELY NEEDED FOR THOSE THINGS. THOSE WERE KICKED OUT, THOSE
REMAINED AND GOT RID OF THE ONES DESIGNED TO TAKE PEOPLE’S LIVES
EN MASSE.>>Stephen: IF YOU FOR
INVITING ME TO YOUR BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY AND GOOD LUCK GETTING
RID OF ME.>>PLEASE STAY FOR FOOD, WE’LL
HAVE A BARBECUE OR SOMETHING. YOU’RE WELCOME.>>Stephen: THANK YOU. LAST CHANCE FOR PEANUT BRITTLE.>>THANK YOU.>>Stephen: I ACCEPTED HER
INSRI CASETATION AND STAYED FOR SAUSAGES AND PRIET BREAD. SO WE HAVE THE PRIME MINISTER,
WE HAVE THE FIRST GRILL MASTER, WE HAVE THE FUTURE POSSIBLY
PRESIDENT OF NEW ZEALAND AND LORDE.>>YEAH.>>Stephen: SO NICE TO MEET
YOU.>>YOU, TOO.>>Stephen: I’M SURPRISED I
NEVER MET YOU BEFORE BECAUSE YOU’RE FAMOUS AND I’M FAMOUS. THERE’S SOMETHING I ALWAYS
WANTED TO ASK YOU. WOULD YOU CARE FOR SOME PEANUT
BRITTLE? WOULD YOU LIKE SOME PEANUT
BRITTLE?>>SURE, THANK YOU. I THINK IT MUST BE A
TRADITION.>>Stephen: THANK YOU VERY
MUCH.>>YEAH. ( SCREAM )
( APPLAUSE )>>Stephen: YOU DON’T HAVE
SNAKES! THE TRIP WAS WORTH IT! ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>>Stephen: THANK YOU, PRIME
MINISTER ARDERN AND THANK YOU LORDE! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ADAM
DRIVER!

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  1. Very chill prime minister, but how she cant be, it is a small wealthy country isolated from all problems in the rest of the world..

  2. New Zealands WORST EVER prime minister with America's CRAPPIEST failed comedian ever…….is there no end to the garbage that enters NZ so often.

  3. Hey they have the plate car of the prime minister blurred. Do I have to understand that this is her actual car? No "official" cars, limousines, scorts???? are you F*** kidding me!!!!???? Damn tat must be another planet……

  4. There's a few things to know about kiwi's. They're not Aussies. Lord of Rings was filmed largely in NZ, though some places were so gorgeous that they became national treasures. They have always been a nation of many firsts including equal progressive rights and sufferage. You want lots of kiwi friends. Make sure your will is current if you behave badly with Maoris they deal with things quickly and well. When the English Empire tried reallk bad ideas, Maoris (using unique iron hard wood weapons that held an edge) stopped fighting each other and forced the Crown to include a Maori treaty in the NZ legal system. Don' t copy their facial totoos becuse every line is culturally major. New Zealand borders the Pacific Ring of fire. If heaven exists it's a cheap knock off of NZ. Kiwis have the best lambs. No self-respecting kiwi marry their sheep which is understandable cos every woman in NZ are far more substantial than their undeniable perfect genes. Aussies keep trying to steal the amazing, uniquely cabable of showing up any national leader. What you see is an inspiration leader who has earned wide respect on her own terms.

    It's very likely that trumputin will steal another term. There are lots to entice any american. Plus who gives a flying truck about labels? Really, life is too short to be afraid about, "Will some nob hurt my child?" That's probably the only point of commonality between all Americans.

  5. Such an amazing Prime minster, woman and an amazing human being and humanitarian! New Zealand is an amazing, beautiful place and a very special part of the world!
    Loved the interview LSSC!!!

  6. Colbert is a centrist multimillionaire corporate talking head, who's played down Medicare for all in the US ……guess he's gone down to socialist NZ to scrub his money compromised reputation clean….close Colbert but no cigar….

  7. She is the bomb. What a lovely, and confident person. It's the best of how government could be. Start by not having an a**hole for President.

  8. Can’t wait till she is not my prime minister, I don’t think the rest of the world realises how her government has messed my country up and made my country a benefit friendly country. Great poster figure for my country but crap Prime minister and does not speak for 70 percent of kiwis. If u want a Government riddled with sexual assaults, shady dealings, etc vote this shadycrew. Her government and the greens $ucked my country up

  9. If anybody is confused about colberts AGENDER watch as he mocks and derides one of the greatest whistleblowers for justice the world has ever known Julian Assange….laughing at his persecution and how the stress of being a political exile has aged him…..it is totally SICK…..I'm sure there were scumbags on tv who once though Nelson Mandela being locked up was hilarious too…..your a fuck face corporate whore sell out Colbert….all your money means nothing when you sell your soul. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UtWteT9Z-_Y

  10. She's just out in public and driving… She is unmarried with a child. She's smart,funny and kind.. .And SHES FRIENDS WITH LORDE.

    She's literally the complete opposite of what Americans want in a "leader".

    New Zealand really makes America look bad as a society.

  11. "I'm surprised I've never met you before. You're famous, I'm famous, and that's generally how people meet." In L.A., 💯 true!

  12. I wonder how she banned the guns, I know cause she forcefully banned them which is very Socialist of her but let's face it, Labor Party hints that they're Socialist

  13. "Did you recognise her or me?"

    Guy's probably like: Did I recognise the Prime Minister of my own country? Yes, mate, I did.

  14. little did Stephen know that the rare American can snake is an invasive species and mere days after he released it New Zealand's native bird species had been decimated and they now have the world's largest can snake problem… thanks Stephen! so much for citizenship!

  15. Miss Horse must just go….This is the worst PM in the history of this country…cant wait for 2020 so that we can get rid of her and the thief Winnie ….She must stop driving around and try to fullfil just ONE of her election promisses

  16. Well…I can think of at least one woman who would not fancy the idea of Stephen becoming New Zealands president: The Queen of New Zealand, Elizabeth II. (who also happens to be Queen of the UK, Canada, Australia and some other places). But maybe if he asked for it politely enough? 🙂

  17. "we banned guns that were designed to kill people on mass" the fuck, are you talking about a SEMI AUTOMATIC a gun that shots ONE bullet from pulling the trigger?? surrrre that's gonna kill a lot of people FAST, the gun that was used in the shooting was a modified gun from Aussie not NZ, NZ doesn't even have Assault Rifles for sale and basically every Semi Automatic are PISTOLS LOL and no one uses pistols in NZ because the self defense law is so fucked up here to a point were you can't fucking defend yourself.

  18. I was SO confused when he said "…as soon as we sat down I got straight to my agenda," and I saw a white shirtless couple making out.
    Turns out it was an ad for some drink.

  19. She's so nice, wanna move there. Got dangerous guns banned in a month. In America we can't even have a civilized conversation about them.

  20. I am an Aussie in Melbourne and I keep saying I would love to retire to New Zealand or Tasmania. Best kept secrets in the world…

  21. Globalist leftist crap thats what.. this guys a shill working with the clowns who control most of the people in this world but im so thankfull to be awake:) new zealand needs a new prime minister but who? We need to stop the jacindagration of of beautiful country:(

  22. ha ha – Liittle do the Yanks know but she will be out on her ass at the next election. Her party's economic policies are ruining the country.

  23. What an amazing woman!!!!! 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

  24. This show makes me puke. Its politics are so one sided. Fox News on one side of the coin, media like this on the other.

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