– That’s where HPV starts,
always with the drummer. – Right? – Drummer’s created HPV, that’s science. – Welcome to Shenks for Smoking, the most whimsical weed
show on the internet. I’m super excited to
introduce today’s guest. You’ll recognize her from
the Sharp Tongue podcast and Weeds Day Live on
Facebook and Instagram Live. Put your hands together for
Jessimae Peluso, everybody. – Yay.
– Yay. – Yay, thank you for coming on. I’m so excited to have you on. – Thank you for having me. – Before I ask you to spin the wheel, I would like to know if you’re interested in maybe consuming a blunt or a joint. – Absolutely. Are you going to spark this up? – I’m going to have you spark it up first cause you are the guest. You know what I mean? – I love your set. I feel like we’re news
anchors on a news show that only talks about mushrooms and weed. – So let’s have you spin
this weed wheel, shall we? – Okay, am I goin towards me? – It’s whatever you feel. Oh towards you. – Like a little Price Is Right. – Yes, come on down. – Oh, look at that. – The volcano. – The volcano, that’s terrifying. – Let me see if I can bring out somebody to help us with this volcano. – Oh dear lord. – Hi, good to see you again. – My gosh. – This is Carl. – Carl.
– How are ya? – I hope you’re high. – Always. Alright, enjoy. – I’ll see you in a little bit. – Bye Carl. Enjoy your swim back to the ocean. – Thank you, I will. – How does he fart in that thing? – I don’t know. We could
ask him when he comes ba. – Look at his little tail. Carl’s best friend is
a tusk fish, for sure. – I don’t even know what a tusk fish is. – Girl, you got to get
high and watch Blue Planet. – Do you do that? – Ab yeah. – What is a tusk fish? – It’s a fish that’s
got teeth it comes out and this thing uses tools
to crack open clam shells. – You do like watching animal shows high? – I do, it’s so fun. – It’s not the first time
I’ve heard you talk about it. (girls laughing) Okay, so here’s the first step. So this is what I know for sure. Isn’t that like a book that Oprah has? – This much I know is true (laughs). – Yeah, this much I know is true. You got to wait for the volcano to heat the fuck up, okay. – Whoa, look at the numbers. – Whoa.
– Oh oh oh. (laughing) – Okay so it seems like it’s ready, great. – Turkey’s done. This looks like my ovary. (laughs) – I wish my ovary looked like this. – Just what happens when you hit your 30s. Everything starts to kick into gear. Whoa. – Okay it’s done. – I got lipstick on. – That’s fine–
– You go first. – We all do sister. – Go head, get in there. – It works.
– How’s it feel on your lungs? – Easy peasy. – Easy peasy? – It’s got nothin on that blunt. – Is this supposed to be
better for your health? – I don’t know. It’s just a different way to consume it. Okay, question for you. – Answer comin your way. – If you were going to have a super power, what super power would you chose and why? – To be able to breathe under water because I want to be down
with the sea creatures. I want to see where Carl lives. – Carl. What is this carl? – Carl your trident is gorgeous. – Thank you very much. – Honey coming through
with all the accessories. – You know what time it
is? It’s sock puppet time. So you’re going to make your
own customized sock puppets. – Okay.
– Okay. – And then there’s a chance later for a little bit of a show,
depending on how good they are. – Oh depending on how good they are. Here comes the momager out of the gate. – Look out Chris Jenner, we got Carl. – I know, jeepers creepers, Carl. – Do you have any questions for Carl before we send him back to the sea? – Can I see where you live
cause my super power is to be able to breathe under water. – Absolutely. – So I can come check out your crib? – Definitely. – Cool, you hang out with like, you know, bottle nose dolphins and
like sharks and stuff? – Sometimes, I mean they
can be kind of stuck up. – Alright. – You know but sometimes I’ll hang out with, like, porpoises,
you know on purpose. – Oh my god, Carl with
the puns, the ocean puns. – Thank you Carl. – Thank you Carl. – This has gone swimmingly. – Alright.
– Frrr. – Did you just do like a fart noise? – Yeah I just imagine that’s
what it would sound like cause his fin is so tight. Have you ever done this?
– No. I’m a big fan of the googilies. – Alright, I might make
this a regal bitch. – Oh shit. Which way is the face? – Which way is the face? (both laughing) I think it’s up to your
artistic interpretation. – Mine’s needs a tongue. – Yeah girl, get it a tongue. – Wow.
– Get you a tongue. Oh yeah. – So far it’s a three
eyed frog like creature. It looks like maybe a frog got involved with some toxic waste.
– Meth, oh. – Right?
– Same. – Like a frog was living
by a nuclear plant and now this is the frog. – So my ex basically? – Yes exactly. You can’t kiss this, won’t turn into a prince. It’ll just let you down. You know the type. – If you kiss it you’re going
to have to go to the doctor. That type. – Yeah, this is an HPV carrying. – HPV toad? – Yeah, he also plays the drums. What I’m saying is I
got HPV from a drummer. This my way of– – That’s where HPV starts,
always with a drummer. Drummers created HPV, that’s science. – That is science. How’s your puppet going? – I think it might be done. I don’t know what more I can do. – (gasps) What is it’s name? It has ears? – His name is Carlsbad
Lucifer Tristan the fourth. – Carlsbad Lucifer Tristan the fourth. – Yes, he’s a wheat farmer. Wheat farmer from Kansas. What’s your’s name? – Wheat farmer from Kansas. Mine is Miles.
– Miles. – He works at Cosco. He got involved with some nuclear waste. – Same, Tuesday. – But he has health insurance at Cosco. Do we want to put on a puppet show now? – Oh my god it’s a full production. – Oh this is serious. – What’s my character’s motivation? – Oh you tell me sister. – Hey what’ up, Miles? – Nothin.
– You looking a little on edge, man. – I’m not on edge. I just got a promotion. – You’re shakin, you’re shakin
out of your britches, man. – Cause I did a little the you know what, the stuff I like to do. It keeps you grounded. – Miles, I think you could really benefit from some chamomile tea. – I’m listening. – And an out patient facility. (both giggle) – You like Kirkland signature? Come with me. – I think you need a hug in bulk. – A hugging bulk? – A hug, like a bulk
a bulk amount of hugs. My tongue fell out. (laughing) – Here I gotcha buddy, hold on. – Oh my god my Jims are falling apart. – Here we go. – Don’t do crack. – The moral of this
story is don’t do meth. – The end.
– Bye. – Carl, we’re hungry. – Is Carl going to bring us snacks? – I don’t know. – I will lose my mind if Carl brings in something I can eat. If it’s cheese. – I got some snack for you, snack time. – You do?
– I do. – Ooh, is it crunchy? – What is it? – These are really crunchy. These are VooDoo Heat
New Orleans kettle chips. – What does that mean, it’s a lot? – When you eat it, somebody
that you hate dies. It’s like a voodoo doll chip. – Jesus Carl. – From New Orleans.
– Wow. – You’ll notice the bottle opener and this is for the peanut
butter and jelly soda. – That sounds terrible. – It’s warm. – Thanks for the warm– I can’t wait to come over to your house under the sea, Carl,
to get some warm sodas. What kind of crack house is this? – Mm, it doesn’t get more understandable. – (laughing) – I’ve had several sips. – People have said that about my comedy. (laughing) – Enjoy. – Are we am I going to pass out? Is this where I die? – You know what? That’s our episode. – That’s it? – Where can our viewers find you? – You can find me all
over the world wide web. I’m at @Queefimae on Twitter and check out Weedsday every Wednesday. We raise awareness for Alzheimer’s through the education of
cannabis and how it can help. – And guys make sure to follow me @princesshenk on Twitter and Instagram. Check out my podcast Shenk S-H-E-N-K And thank you guys for
watching Shenks for Smoking. – Ah, god. (jazz music)