Swiggy, MBA and Startups | stand up comedy by Sanjay Manaktala

Swiggy, MBA and Startups | stand up comedy by Sanjay Manaktala


how old are you bro? oh you finished your masters your smart john
snow what did you get your masters in? MBA. that’s the best joke this evening. i love that. 24. i dont…only in India do people get an MBA
with hardly any work experience before hand. right? like “I just finished college at 21” “what do you wanna do?” “i dont know” “MBA” an MBA is for people who don’t know what they
want to do, but they know they want to do something. where did you get your MBA? Symbiosis? where? they’re laughing already, Pune guy that one was for you. ok nevermind. ok…where did you.. It’ll happen bro, don’t worry. Lovely Professional University? I dunno. Which one gets you!?! Where’d you get your MBA? OH wow (gets a thought) MBA dude…hmm… Do you know the full form of MBA? Do you know what it stands for? You paid for it. You should. What does an MBA stand for? Masters of Business Administration. Can you say that very quickly 5 times for
the whole audience. Come on. Faster. Masters of Business Administration. An MBA also screws yourself. Ahhhh….Okay… Brother man! I also have my MBA. I’ve got about 3 since morning. It’s going well. But we he went to IIM Shillong…fare well. Ok… A few of you dirty Jon Snow’s got the joke. Anybody else have an MBA? One guy in the back. Where did you get your MBA? You know he got it from a better school. Cause that’s why he’s doing this. You know!?! He’s like pleeeasee…ask me! Ok which IIM did you go to bro? Huh? You went to Carnegie Mellon?!? Oh excuse me. My goodness. (Goodness gracious me) You went to carnegie Mellon? Is that your wife? (No clue why a laugh on that) Tha’ts, not your wife? Aww so you cantaloupe. Guys. It’s a melon pun. Not everybody gets it. “Can’t elope.” Come on folks. This is beauty and brains. Pune guy a cantaloupe is also called a melon. You went to Carnegie Mellon!?! Holy ding dude. And what’s the name of your startup? Cause that’s what it is right? what do you do now Carnegie Mellon? I’ve a venture capitalist. Same stuff bro. I went to Carnegie Melon. Now I’m a venture capitalist. What do they do? We spend others peoples money. And we tell them what’s a good business idea. I’m gonna pitch you. Can I pitch you a business idea? Because this is Bangalore, you’re a venture
capitalist MBA, in Bangalore. Telling people who have startups if they have
good ideas or not. Yet you’ve probably never started something
up on your own. That’s the Desi way bro, respect. I love it. This is Bangalore. The startup city. I asked a young kid like 22 or 23 you’ll get
there don’t worry i was like bro what do you do? i have a startup bro what do they do? we write about other startups that are starting
up wow how many employees do you have oh we haven’t started but i have an MBA from Carnegie Mellon. That’s what I do. Round of applause for freaking, Mr. Dale Carnegie
over here. I love that. Dale Carnegie was the How to Win Friends and
Influence people right? And you haven’t won her over yet? I love it. That’s why you got her here? Sir she’s an independent woman she could get
here on her own. I just want you to know that. MBA. That’s nice. Venture Capitalist. That’s a cool business. Because Bangalore everybody has a startup. Can I pitch you guys an idea. Ok cause not every startup has to be from
the ground up. You can innovate existing startups. You guys have heard of swiggy of course. I have a brilliant innovation. feel free to use this. it’s yours you guys take it. ok tell them, give me royalties. when you have your meeting with whoever the
guy or girl is. so often times. ok. you know, it’ll be late. in bangalore. like tonight. and sometimes the riksha rangas…especially
on weekdays. the ubers especially. there is no uber. 19 minutes away, 20 minutes away whatever. you walk outside. and the rickshaws are there like guess who’s back? oh…now you care about me? right? so midnight. that guy. you come up to him. and he wants like 300, 400 bucks extra. do what I do? innovate. order your last item from the bar you’re in. on swiggy. and go home with the driver. ladies and gentlemen. i’m sorry i’m just letting you know. innovation is the name of the game. i have another startup idea. this is a true startup. madam, you’re on your phone, whats going on? you work for swiggy? you do? oh my God you guys. she really does? she is sending an email right now like…”guys
I have a great idea” i better get 5 percent. i did not plan this you guys. oh my (here comes a terrible joke) OK nevermind. Nobody got it damn it. “I GOT it” you got the joke ok. i should have quit while I was ahead. you really work for swiggy? NO? let’s just say yeah they went for it. where do you work?

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  1. Can't-Elope! Wow, just wow! Superb show of your wit and humour, great work Sanjay. Please share more of such great content.

  2. He have just fucked everybody….whom he encountered…πŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜ŽπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

  3. 2019 MBA changed … MBA stands for Master of mastrubation , course duration = No time or year just your mood , Institution = Home or anywhere but not in public.

  4. Yay! That was cool and β€œI huh have a start up” was icing on the cake!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Got the notification after a month πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ
    Looking forward for more πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

  5. Dude you are really great!
    I have watched stand-up comedies, but your videos are hysterical dude!!

  6. On a serious Note… Y most of people go for MBA without any Work Experience… Truly it happens only in India… And there is Another trend… Kids finishing Engineering goes for doing MBA to setup their own Startup… I mean wtf..!!! LoL

  7. I don’t understand why the audience is laughing.. making fun of a random audience member doesn’t sound funny to me

  8. I can't anymore stand u and ur fake American English accent "brather" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ huge dislike for this crap πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž

  9. Dude, ur swiggy joke is all over FB & WhatsApp. When People r claiming that they actually took a ride on Swiggy/Zomato themselves…. M like… Oh ya 😜…. U sure did πŸ‘…. watch Sanjay Manaktala's show on YouTube 🀣🀣🀣

  10. Guess what Sanjay? Someone was inspired by your swiggy idea and used it on zomato.
    https://indianexpress.com/article/trending/trending-in-india/hyderabad-guy-uses-zomato-for-free-ride-as-uber-had-high-surge-charge-5909575/?fbclid=IwAR2cD2AemOhxyPQCfDqtIlpembtaLOFNkkIXvdR_THkfAKmmLDrSIBXfyK4

  11. I have been doing my masters of business administration masters of business administration masters of business administration masters of business administration masters of business administration from my tenth grade, I'm not sure I'll finish it in my life time!

  12. ,,πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„that is why i hate our Indian parents …who are always forced to study engineering and management πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’but i like only BA and MA in Political science and economics ,……thats what i used to hate our Useless indian parents mentality……..as my career suddenly collapsed after failure of my graduation in science and CS.😫😫😫😫😫…. whatever i finally got degree in BA economics and PGDM in Business management πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„try again and again which will get success eventually….

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