The Game Show Where Nobody Knows the Rules

The Game Show Where Nobody Knows the Rules


– [Sam] Get ready for a Game Changer. Tonight’s guests, from the 20th dimension, it’s Brennan Lee Mulligan. – Hey! – [Sam] Having read 20 erotic novels, it’s Jess Ross. And, just in time for
CollegeHumor’s 20th anniversary, it’s Tao Yang. And your host, me. I’ve been here the whole time. Welcome to Game Changer,
the only game show where the game changes every show. I am your host, Sam Reich. I’m joined today by these
three lovely contestants. Now, you all understand
how the game works. – No
– Not a single thing. – It hasn’t been explained. That’s right, our players
have no idea what game it is they’re about to play. The only way to learn is by playing. The only way to win is by learning. And the only way to
begin, is by beginning. So, without further ado, let’s begin. Ash, could you bring out the machine? (Jess laughs)
(beep) (carnival music) Players, are you ready? – I guess. – Brennan, what is your name? – My name is Brennan Lee Mulligan. (machine dings) – That’s one point for
Brennan Lee Mulligan. – That was a soft question. – Jess, what is one plus one? – Two. (machine dings) – Two is correct! – Tao, what year is it? – 2019. (machine dings) – That is correct. Brennan- – I’m being (beep)ed with. (Jess and Tao laughing) You understand? This is an indignity. – This will be illegal. This will be considered
illegal by the courts. – It’s one of those experiments from the ’50s, where they look back at it and they were like,
“This is unconscionable.” Brennan, what is your middle name? – My middle name is Lee. (machine dings) – Jess Ross, what is your middle name? – It is also Leigh. Well, it’s spelled differently. L-E-I-G-H. (machine dings) – Tao, what is your middle name? – I have no middle name. (Jess laughs) (machine dings) – [Sam] That is correct. Brennan- – Yeah? – Do you ever talk in your sleep? – I should (beep) you. I have talked in my sleep. (machine dings) – [Sam] For a bonus point,
Brennan, do you care to elaborate? – I used to be an insomniac. I stayed up for 81 hours in a row in my senior year of college. – Holy (beep)! – Missing nights of sleep regularly will affect your sleep
cycle in some weird ways. (machine dings) – [Sam] Jess, have you
ever talked in your sleep? – I’m starting to crack right now. (contestants laughing) – I’m sorry! Okay, 18. (machine beeps) (Tao gasps)
Okay. – I’m afraid the answer 18 in
this particular context is no. – Thank you for bravely
teaching us something about the machine. – Yes, thank you. – I’m freaking out! (contestants laughing) – Tao, do you ever talk in your sleep? – I, also, am very uncomfortable. I do talk in my sleep, and I know it, because I’ve recorded myself. (machine dings) There’s an app, and you put
it underneath your pillow and it constantly records, but when it hits a
certain noise threshold- – Yeah. – It will actually record
that snippet for you. – Machine? – Machine? (machine dings) – How does the machine
claim to know things that even its creator does not know? – That is a really good question, Brennan. – Do I get any points for both hating and loving the machine? (Jess and Tao laughing) – Do you snore? – I have snored. (machine dings) – Jess, do you snore? – Yeah, so, yes I snore! (Sam laughs) (machine dings) – Tao, do you snore? – Yes, I snore also. (machine dings) – Brennan, do you floss? – Yes, extremely regularly. (machine dings) Two of my teeth are fake,
fully fake, and I (beep)ed up my teeth when I was younger, so I make a point to floss every day, and I also use fluoride mouthwash. (machine dings) – Jess, do you floss? – Yeah. (Brennan and Tao laughing) (machine dings) Yeah, I use the flossy things. I feel bad, ’cause it’s
probably extra plastic. Do I do it all the time? No. Is my dentist gonna watch this? Probably not. (Sam laughs) (machine dings) What do you think, machine? Do I get 20 points? (machine beeps) (Jess gasps) – Whoa! The machine is sassy. – I think this machine hates women. (contestants laughing) (machine beeps) You can’t tell me! – Tao, do you floss? – Yes, I do. (machine beeps) What? I floss… I’ve been on an upswing recently, so I’m gonna say at least twice a week. (machine dings) (Sam laughs) – Twice a week! – You’re not a flosser, Tao. – He thought you meant the
dance, which he does every day. – I do every day, also- (machine beeps) (Jess gasps) – I didn’t know that! I don’t do the floss dance every day! – I didn’t know it! – Brennan, have you ever shoplifted? – Yes, you’re (beep)damn right I did. (machine dings) – Wow! For a bonus point, do
you care to elaborate? – When I was working
at my old summer camp, we had to do a production run to Walmart, and I walked out of the
store drinking a bottle of Coca-Cola that I did not pay for. (machine dings) – That’s it? – Jess, have you ever shoplifted? – Yes, I have shoplifted. (machine dings) (Sam laughs) We were at the Amish market. (contestants laughing)
– Oh, my God! – And they were selling… I don’t know if people
remember Pogs and Slammers. – What? – But, I saw this golden
Slammer in this case, and my Mom said I couldn’t have it, so I took it. (machine dings) – You stole a Pog? – I stole the Slammer from… – From an Amish?
– From the Amish, yes. – Tao, have you ever shoplifted? – Oh, yeah. (machine dings) I’m probably the most recent. I think I regularly
shoplifted until I was 25. (Sam laughs) 26? All the time, all the time. – What sort of things did you shoplift? – Well, I just shoplifted
recently at Whole Foods when there was a thing of basil in my bag that I didn’t take out, and I went, “Eh, whatever,
I’ll just walk out with this.” (machine dings) – Wow! I, honestly, did not anticipate that you would all be as shameless as you clearly are. – Shoplifting from a large
corporation is barely shoplifting in my opinion. (machine beeps) – Oh! (Sam laughs) – Brennan, have you ever
peed in a public pool? – Yes! (machine dings) I peed in the pool because someone said, “It changes colors if you pee-pee in it!” – You wanted to test it out! – It was scientific inquiry! – Jess, have you ever
peed in a public pool? – I think I’ve peed in
every pool I’ve been in. (contestants laughing) (machine dings) Everyone’s peeing in the pool, anyway. (machine beeps) Oh, excuse me? – Tao, have you ever
peed in a public pool? – I urinate in pools. (machine dings) – Brennan, do some movies
and TV shows make you cry? – Yes. (machine dings) Nothing makes me cry more than a character that is putting a brave face
on a terrible situation. (machine dings) – The vulnerability you’ve
shared with us here today… It should just be one extra
point for that elaboration. (Brennan laughs)
I just wanna be clear. Just the one. Jess, do you ever cry
at movies or TV shows? – Oh, commercials, yes. (machine dings) Everything, yes, I’m a big crier. I’m watching some really
crappy British dating show, and the girls went to Casa Amor, and the boys stayed home, and they had the opportunity to couple up with other people, and Molly-Mae came back, and saw that Tommy hadn’t
coupled up with anyone, and she started crying, and I started crying. (machine dings) – [Sam] Tao? – Yes, I cry specifically,
much like Brennan, to a specific thing. When a group of people come
together for a common cause. Like the scene in Spider-Man 2, when the New Yorkers are like,
“If you wanna get to him, you gotta get through us.” to Doc Ock, that makes me cry. (machine dings) (Brennan laughing) – Players, it’s time for a mini-game. You understand the
mechanic of our game, now. It is based on this lie detector. – The contestants have
figured out all of the things to do with the machine. – I’m gonna rephrase
that, ever so slightly. – Sure, yeah. – The contestants have
figured out everything there is to know about the machine. (machine beeps) – Oh! (intermission music) – Always keeping wanting more, machine. – Jess, you are flirting
with this machine. – Machine, do you think
I’m flirting with you? (machine dings) (Jess screeches) You wish! – [Sam] What I would like to ask from each of you is a confession. Something personal about
yourselves that you would like to feed into the machine. Once you do, I will assign it a one through five juiciness rating. – Oh! – Oh, my God. – And, you will receive those
number of points if it’s true. – Okay, the bed that I
lost my virginity in, in a one night stand,
when I was 16 years old, is the same bed I was later cuckholded in, in my longest, at the time, relationship. – [Sam] Holy! (beep)! That’s gotta be worth five… I don’t know what’s worth five points if that’s not worth five points. Machine, can you tell me, is that true? (machine dings) – There is no corner of my
heart I would not turn over to the world for five points. (Sam laughs) – [Sam] Jess. – I’ll just say I’ve
had multiple threesomes. – Oh, yeah, no totally. That’s totally worth five points. – What do you think about that, machine? – [Sam] Machine? (machine dings) Wow!
– There you go. – [Sam] Tao, was there
anything that you would like to confess into the machine? – [Tao] Yeah. One time, walking home from
a friend’s house to my dorm, I fully (beep) myself on the way back, and I was
walking with my friend, too, so I was like, “I’m gonna walk ahead”, and I discarded my pants on the street. – Where on the street? – Three blocks away from the house. – Wait, you discarded your pants? What happened to your underpants? – I also discarded my underpants. I was wearing a fleece- – Full Pooh Bear! Oh, my God! (machine dings) – [Sam] That’s worth
five points, for sure! Brennan, have you ever
eaten food out of the trash? – Yes. (Jess and Tao laughing) (machine dings) – [Sam] Jess, have-
– Yes, yes. (machine dings) – [Sam] Tao. – I have never taken food out
of the trash and eaten it, but I’ve definitely eaten
food that should be trash. (machine dings) Like a bad mango, you know? It’s bad in certain parts, and I just start eating
around the bad parts, and my girlfriend says, “Throw that away.” and I go, “There’s good
parts of the mango.” – [Sam] Were there good
parts of the mango? – There were a couple bites. – All right. That’s fair. (machine beeps) Oh! (Jess laughs) Brennan, how easily are you
able to tell left from right? – Perhaps the best in the world. (machine dings) (Sam laughs) – “Whoa, I’m the best in the world!” – Jess. – I can’t. – [Sam] You can’t? – I have a really hard time
with my left and right. (machine dings) If I do this, they both
look like Ls to me. – [Sam] Sure.
(Brennan laughing) Sure. – When me and my fiancee cater in the car, I can’t have her say
‘make a left or a right’. It has to be a ‘me’ or a ‘you’. (machine dings) (contestants laughing) – [Sam] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! A ‘me’ or a ‘you’ meaning what, exactly? – If it’s a ‘me’, I go
the direction that I am, and if it’s a ‘you’, I go the
direction that Kate’s sitting. – [Sam] That’s- – There is a specific
turn called a U-turn. – We don’t make those! – [Sam] Tao, can you tell your
right from your left easily? – I mean, left, right. Yes, yes. (machine dings) – Brennan, are there any
holes in your underwear? – Yes. The factory that made it
put a hole in the front for my (beep). – No, that’s not what I mean. – Is it false or true, machine? (machine dings) – Take the point away. – No, no, that is incorrect! I’m sorry, I did lie! There’s three more holes! One for my torso and two
more for my legs, (beep)! That’s correct! You are not God, the machine is! – Brennan, I should’ve specified. Are there any holes in
your underwear from- – This game is (beep)ing rigged. from them being worn out? – Oh, sure. Yes. I got a bunch of these
Hanes ones that, weirdly, have developed holes along the waistband. (machine dings) – [Sam] Jess, are there… (Sam laughs) (contestants laughing) Are there holes in your underwear? – There aren’t holes in my underwear, but I do have it where the
elastic is very worn out of a lot of pairs. (machine dings) – Tao, are there holes in your underwear? – Yes. Lots of them. (machine dings) (Sam laughs) – [Jess] Is this a boy thing? – I think so. A compromise that I’ve
made in my relationship is I have to throw away underwear that have a lot of holes in them. – Brennan, have you ever slept through a flight you were supposed to take? – No. What am I, made of money? (machine dings) – [Sam] Jess. – Absolutely not. I am there two hours in advance. (machine dings) – Tao, you are looking a tad
uncomfortable at the moment. Have you ever slept through a flight? – Yes, twice. (machine dings) – [Jess] Oh, my God! – [Tao] I slept through
the same flight twice. – Wait, what? – You mean they rescheduled
it, and you slept… Tao! No (beep)ing way! That’s crazy! – [Tao] Yes, I was supposed to move out of my dorm sophomore year, and I overslept, wasn’t gonna make it, had to move my room out and stuff, so I didn’t make that flight, rescheduled for later in the afternoon. When I got the to
airport, I was so sleepy, and the gate was so full, so I went two gates over, and slept there, and no one woke me up
because why would they? – You slept through the
flight at the airport? – At the gate, yes. – Oh, my God. (machine dings) – Brennan, have you ever
tried to get a nickname? – I’ve never taken active
steps to get a nickname, but I have definitely
been incredibly excited to receive a nickname. When I used to work as a camera PA on Law & Order: Criminal Intent, my nickname on set was Shanty or Sippy. Sippy being acronym
for Shanty Irish Prick. (machine dings) – [Sam] Jess. – I did. I wanted everyone to call me
Ross, which is my last name, and I thought, “Oh, a girl
who’s called Ross, pretty cool.” (machine dings) – [Sam] Tao. – Does it count when, as a
new immigrant to this country, you go into class, and you go, “Everyone,
instead of calling me Tao, you can call me Paulo.”? (machine dings) – I love the idea of you were
like, “Better take it easy on these crackers with Tao, let’s do, I don’t know, what’s the
whitest name I can think of? Paulo!”. (contestants laughing) – Paulo, yes, and I talk
with a Italian chef’s kiss. – [Sam] Brennan. – Yeah. – Do you ever space out
just thinking about swords? – Okay, yeah, correct. All the time. (machine dings) The sword holds a unique place
in the history of weaponry. Unlike a lot of other
weapons, a sword was a symbol of status in almost every culture- – I’m really gonna have to cut
you off at a certain point. – Oh, gotcha. – Jess, where’s your engagement ring? – Oh, my God, I can’t believe
I’m getting called out! I left it on the sink in the bathroom, and I don’t like to get it wet, and now I don’t have it. Is this a part of the show, or
am I just getting called out? (machine dings) I thought I was gonna
get the sword one, too. I was gonna be like, “No.” – Tao, are there any photos of
your bare butt on your phone? – Yes. (Jess gasps) Recently. (machine dings) One of the pieces of
underwear I was wearing had such a big hole in it that
I just comically ripped it in bed, and then me and my girlfriend took photos of my butt out with this underwear. (bell chiming) – Players, it’s time
for the next mini-game. This time, we’re gonna flip the script. For mini-game number one, I want to hear wholesome things about you. Things that present you
in a positive light. Brennan, we will start with you. – This sucks. Because it’s forcing you to brag, right? – Yeah, yeah. – So, I take vacation time off of work, and instead of going to vacation, I go to work more at a
different, other place, which is this summer camp, and the past couple years, I donate my salary to the fund that sends financially needy kids to camp. (machine dings) – I’m gonna give you the full five points. (Brennan shouts) – Jess, can you tell me
anything nice about yourself? – I can. I spent a lot of my life,
especially my younger years in school, not feeling great about myself. I felt like I wasn’t pretty enough, I was too tall, I wasn’t smart enough. And, now that I’m older,
I’m so proud of myself that I have let a lot of that go, that I genuinely like myself, and that I’m allowed to say that out loud. It doesn’t bother me at all. I’m smart, I write good
sketches, I got a great (beep). (machine dings) Yeah, you know it, machine! You know it! – [Sam] I am literally tearing up. Yeah, that’s the full five
points for you, Jess, for sure! – Does the machine seconding
Jess’ great (beep) comment constitute workplace sexual harassment? (Jess and Tao laughing) (machine beeps) No! (contestants talk over one another) That’s not your call! I’m getting HR, wait, it’s
not even human resources! (everyone gasps) – Machine resources. – It’s robot resources! – Yeah, we need IT and HR to team up. – [Sam] Tao. – I like to think of myself as someone who can do nice things
for people without needing it to even be recognized. Lots of small examples. Letting people go ahead in
front of me in a line for a bathroom if they really need to go. Things like that. (machine dings) – Okay, it didn’t make me
wanna burst into tears. – Yes. – So, I will give that a three. – Wow. – Players, the truth is that I’ve been lying to you
about this lie detector. Obviously, this technology
doesn’t exist, per se. It is, in fact, human-powered. We’ve been working with a
team of scientists on this for weeks now, and in order to give them credit, I’d like to introduce you
to those scientists now. Scientists. (game show music) (Jess gasps)
– You liar, oh my God! – Oh, my God! What the (beep) happened? – Your significant others
have been in control of this lie detector the whole time. – I trust my partner implicitly! – And you shouldn’t. – You said you wanted to go to
the gym early in the morning. – Is that so unbelievable, Tao? – That’s how you knew
I didn’t have my ring! – Oh, by the way, yes,
Kate has Jess’ ring. – Oh, are you proposing? – [Alexis] Again? – And, Jess, all this time, you were flirting with a machine. (Jess gasps) – Nice (beep). (contestants and scientists laughing) – This is a profound betrayal. – So, the game dynamic in
round three is going to change. – Oh, my God. – I am going to ask true
or false statement about our players. If they’re about you, you don’t get to play. The other players have
to decide whether or not what I’m saying is true or false. Now, the more your face betrays you, the better your competition stands to do. Jess and Tao, Brennan has had the majority of his belongings since he was a teenager. – I think that’s super true. He’s into all nerd (beep), and you got that when you were 12. – [Tao] It gives a lot of weight
to the items that he owns. – I think it’s true.
– I think it’s also true. – Izzy, is that true? (machine dings) Yes, it is. – He feels bad for the things, so he wants to continue using them, so they feel like they’re important. – [Sam] So, that’s
points for Jess and Tao. Brennan and Tao, more than any other show, Jess
watches The Bachelor. – That doesn’t ring true to me. – I say that Kate would
rather celebrate something about Jess than attempt
to stump me and Tao. I say this is true. – I’ll go false. (machine beeps) (Jess and Tao hollering) – [Sam] That is false. That is a point for Tao. In fact, I understand that Jess
watches a lot of Shark Tank. – Yeah, it’s mostly- – Yeah, I’m always in the tank. (contestants laughing) – Brennan and Jess. (Tao laughs) – Tao. – [Sam] Tao’s sideburns get
sweaty when he eats sriracha. (Jess laughs) – 100% true. – That’s so true. (machine dings) – It is true. – The real problem is after. – Yeah, I didn’t turn
that fact in, but you did. – That explains the hole in the underwear. – Yes. – It’s the blast zone. – [Sam] Jess and Tao- – It’s the blast zone! – Brennan, more than anything
else in the world, wants to be a renowned dungeon master. – I don’t think that’s what he wants more than anything else in the world. – Yeah, I think that is false. (machine beeps) – [Sam] It is false. – Brennan wants, more than
anything in the world, to be a Dad. – Daddy. – [Sam] Brennan and Tao. Jess calls Mario Kart Mario Race Cars. (Jess laughs) – I think this is false. I think Jess calls it May-rio Kart. (Jess and Sam laugh) – We’ll leave pronunciation out
of this particular question. – Then I think this is true. – I also will say that this is true. (machine dings) – [Sam] It is. – [Kate] She probably
does call it May-rio. – May-rio Race Cars. – Kate, what does she
call the Super Nintendo? – She calls it the purple and gray system. Or, the purple and gray Nintendo. – Brennan and Jess. When Tao was young, he actively tried to get his friends’
parents to like him more than their own children. – I think that’s true. – I will also say that it’s true. (machine dings) – I needed their approval. (Sam laughs) – You’re like, “Call me Paulo.” – “Call me Paulo!” – [Sam] Jess and Tao. Brennan cries when old people are voted off The Great
British Baking Show. – That is true. That aligns with what
he said makes him cry, which is people with a brave
face during adverse times. – I’ll also say true. (machine dings) – There you go. – [Sam] It is true! – The old people should
be allowed to stay. – [Sam] Brennan and Tao. Jess’ difficulties with
left and right extend to when she was small, when Dad drove more than Mom, and so left was a ‘Daddy’
and right was a ‘Mommy’. – That is 100% true. – I’ll say true. (machine dings) – [Sam] It is true. We are down to our last question, and we have two players tied. Brennan and Jess. Final question of our game. Tao often tells Alexis he
could get lost in her eyes. (Jess laughs) – Alexis does have very lovely eyes. I’m gonna say he does say it. It’s true. – So, if I say ‘true’, best case scenario is me and Jess tie for first place. If I say ‘false’, one of the two of us wins. I’ll say it’s true, too. (machine beeps) – [Sam] No, Alexis. – In fact, Tao does not
know what color my eyes are. (everyone laughing) Asked me two days ago after I’d already
submitted answers for this, and, also, yesterday asked me
what color his own eyes were. – Brennan and Jess, you
have won Game Changer. You each win dinner for two at my favorite restaurant in Los Angeles. I’m not allowed to say what
it is for legal reasons, but trust me, it is, in fact, my favorite. – Is this for real?
– For real? – Here’s the thing. We’ve embarrassed all
three of you up here today, and because it really doesn’t matter who wins or loses at this game, I’m also gonna extend
that invitation to you. (everyone cheering) I’m Sam Reich reminding you that intimacy is nothing more than future blackmail. Good night! (crowd cheering) (uplifting music) That does it for this
episode of Game Changer. If you liked it, I have great news. There is way more of the series that you can watch right now on DROPOUT. Just go to dropout.tv and
start your free trial today. If you do, I’ll give you ten points
right out of my own pocket. I have that authority. (man squeaking) – That’s me petting them. (man squeaking) One bit me. (man speaking) One just
came out of an egg. (man squeaking) That’s it, just coming out. – It’s not good to touch
newborn chicks with your hands. – That’s right, anyway-

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  1. Get the questions right… if you can figure out what they are. Gamechanger, a new game show from DROPOUT! Sign up today: [ http://bit.ly/2mMexEs ]

  2. I thoroughly enjoyed this entire episode, and it's the final straw in getting me to sign up for Dropout. I love how much you all care about each other and it's not just coworkers day in and day out.

  3. 23:05 – Looks like the score boards are fake?! The camera moves, but the numbers stay still.
    My life is a lie.

    Also, this is a great series guys, keep it up!

  4. Sam, give me back the old gaurd. I don't like change. No more new people. Bring back opera ghost and beef gerwitsch

  5. 13:44 Certain… fluids are acidic. If you're developing a lot of holes wash your damn privates and change your underwear after activities.

  6. this is my favourite video ever, the fact that they’re just backstage confirming or denying and the contestants are just like “i wonder how they know that” is so funny

  7. Seeing them reunite with their s/os at the end made me so happy. They are all so adorable and wholesome. Imagine knowing someone that well and still choosing to live with them, that's real love.

  8. The biggest thing this video did for me was convince me that if I could choose, I'd be most compatible with Brennan.

  9. Oooh I’ve just realised Sam and Adam aren’t the same person and unfortunately because Adam is the most annoying person to ever have existed I think this means I’ve avoided watching a few things purely from thumbnails

  10. Brennan is an international treasure, those exclamations of wonder and indignation he made while somehow making perfect eye contact with me is proof that he's a wizard.

    Never before has anyone looked so expertly into the camera that I felt like they were literally conversing with me.

    So now I'm watching five shows on Dropout.

  11. It was Spider-Man 1 FYI.
    Also the “can say you like yourself” man, I’m far from that. Maybe it’s because I’m correcting something on the internet that doesn’t matter at all

  12. 11:30
    Never do this with foods where the rotten parts can make you I'll. The rest of the food is likely infected too – you just can't see it.

  13. Wow that was really good. i never watch these (jake and amir was too good), but it was sooo entertaining. you got my approval again college humor.

  14. This is the funniest video college humor has ever made I don’t care that you’re supposed to change the rules every time PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MAKE MORE OF THIS

  15. Glad I've never had to answer what my middle name is, even I don't fucking know.
    How do you get a middle when you have 6 of them?
    Do I have two?
    Do I just pick either one?

  16. 8:30 No, that's what they say on the bridge in Spider-Man. They connect with Spidey in Spider-Man 2 when they see his face on the train and they all say that they won't tell anyone

  17. wait this is actually surprisingly wholesome, CollegeHumor what's happening I'm not supposed to be emotionally attached to you.

  18. Brennan: “I spend my summers at a summer camp for needy children and donate all the money I make back to the camp”
    five points

    Jess: “I didn’t used to like myself but now I do, plus I have a nice ass”
    five points

    In conclusion brennan should have won the game, for many reasons

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