Good evening and welcome
to ‘The Kapil Sharma Show.’ So, we’d promised you that today’s episode would also
be with the cast of ‘Simmba.’ And we will keep our promise. Please welcome them
with a loud round of applause. My friend, Ranveer Singh and the dashing handsome
director, Mr. Rohit Shetty. We’d a great time yesterday. It was just us men here. We had a good time. But glamour is a necessity. That’s when things get better. I know you have
a thing for glamour! Why are they singing that song?
I wasn’t here. There is no real reason.
– This song? He is easily getting sentimental
in the new season! Why this song, sir? When they got married..
– Leave it be. It’s history. – Why would I
not say it when you could talk
about Waqar Younis? This one wearing the black
suit.. He was enjoying himself! The one behind you..
Comb your hair first! Friends, the next guest I’m
going to invite to the stage is the lead actress of ‘Simmba.’ She has just started off
in Bollywood but the surprising fact is that she already has an
astonishing number of fans! So, please welcome
the very beautiful and very talented,
Sara Ali Khan. Sara, I welcome
you to the show. Thank you. You’re looking adorable.
– Thank you. Over to the man. New life has been breathed
into the film industry. Bollywood has been rejuvenated
by your presence. Thank you. Wonderful, sir.
– God bless you.. Sir.
– Thank you. As I said, Sara’s first movie ‘Kedarnath’ was released
recently. ‘Simmba’ is her second movie. She is earning a lot
of plaudits for her work. Not just her work,
the media and the audience also praise her for the way
she gives interviews. We’re really glad that
you’ve come to the show. Please take you seat. Where?
– Where should she sit? Where should I sit? You could sit alongside me.
The rest is.. Here? Come here. May I sit here? – Yes, please..
– Is that fine? – Yes.. Your personality is exceptional.
You are the ideal heroine. Please sit. Hey, married man! Sit over
there. – No. It’s fine. Really?
– Why not? I’ve never met someone
from the royal family. Even I haven’t.
– You’re part of one! There is a special glow on
her face. The Lord has really blessed her.
– T-The ‘Nawabs’ are said to be good-mannered.
– Yes.. Actually, she has those
etiquettes. When Ranveer got married.. What has she got to do with it? I got there and when I was
about to get down the car she called me and said that
she’d come to me. Though it was Ranveer’s wedding,
she came to me making me feel like a special guest
and we went inside together. Kapil came there soon after that
and we were with each other. Ranveer told Kapil that
‘I’ve married your crush.’ You could’ve narrated it
differently like Sara’d come to me. Why did you have to
tell everything? I’m a director after all. I should narrate
the whole story! I shouldn’t pay you but
get you beaten up. I know a dictator as well. Pandey, your’e a drummer! Kapil, you’ve met
a lot of actors. – Yes, sir. This is her debut. Are you meeting him for the
first time? No, I’d met him at his
wedding. I’ve to tell him the truth,
right? That would have really hurt! Have you never seen me
on television? Was it at his wedding that you
first met me? But I met you personally..
– Personally. In person.
– The first time I met you in person was at
Deepika’s and his wedding. What did you hear?
– She is doing it exactly like that scene in Amitabh’s
movie, ‘Mard.’ I just compared you
to Amitabh Bachan! Yes, I get it but you also
made me a laughing stock. All right. Let him do it. So, ‘Simmba’s’ star cast
is here with us. Give them a loud
round of applause. As you all know Sara is the daughter
of Mr. Saif Ali Khan and Amrita Singh. Both of them are my favourites. Sara, you’ve become
an actress now. Did you dream of it
when you were a kid? Yes, this has been my dream
since I was almost 5 years old. I see.
– This is always what I wanted. She was a practical child! She was clear and focussed. That wasn’t the case
with Chandan. When he was a kid
in his childhood. Well, everybody is a
kid during their childhood. He used to tell his dad
that he wanted to be a doctor. He realised it’s hard when he
was in the fifth grade. He said he will be a cabbie
when he grows up. When he reached the eighth
grade, he realised that even that is difficult. He acknowledged that fact
that he’d seek alms! Look at his luck. He got married to Deepika
and is dancing with Sara.. And I’m like that singer
in the corner.. Fate is such! Kapil, she is impressed. As soon as your voice
emanated from the mic she said, ‘wow’. I speak quickly
when I’m hosting, you know. But I’ve got a bassy voice. Hey, Sara. You look gorgeous. Thank you. You look gorgeous. Thank you.
– Extremely beautiful. Thank you. I had my intentions
of flirting with you but your dad
is like my brother. That makes you my niece. So, Mr. Rohit. When a director shoots
a movie I mean,
whenever he plans about it.. You want this particular actor
or actress for the script. Sara has just stepped
into the film industry. And her first film
hadn’t released yet. ‘Kedarnath’. What was your perception
about Sara? Please tell. Go on, sir.
It’s such a sweet story. It’s a long story. Please go on,
it’s an hour-long episode. He’s got you cornered. She sent me a message
saying the she wanted to work with me.
– Message? Not just a message. How do I tell everything..
– Go on, say everything. I got around 20 messages.. No, not that much,
just four or five. A bit more.
– Five. More than five.
– Five, it is. More than that.
– Six, okay? It’s going up, gradually.
– Six.. More.
– Six. So, I replied, asking Sara
to come to my office. I thought, she is Saif
and Amrita’s daughter. She must’ve a few bodyguards
to protect her. And a few managers as well. Okay?
– And more.. That’s how it is, nowadays. So, she came to me. I think, it was Sneha,
my chief AD.. I asked her,
who was accompanying Sara? She said that Sara came alone. I couldn’t quite believe it
and I called her in.. I asked, ‘you’re already here’.. And she said,
‘I just walked up till here’. After that.. Now that she has become
a star, I can safely say.. Don’t say so.. She came up to me
and requested for work.. Saif Ali Khan’s daughter. Amrita Singh
and Saif Ali Khan’s daughter walking into my office alone
and requesting for work.. I felt like crying.
– Oh, man! I asked her to act
in my movie. Incredible. And then I thought
that night as to why I offered her
that movie, emotionally.. What if she doesn’t
know acting? It’s such a big movie,
what will happen to me? And it’s the truth
about our film industry. Even if you’re son or daughter
to a big shot actor people won’t accept you
if you don’t have any talent. So, the credit goes
to you, of course. Congratulations to you.
– Thank you. One more thing. Neither Saif
nor Amrita called me. They didn’t call me at all.
– Wow! They didn’t ask me to meet her. Sara’s struggle is totally hers.
– Incredible. Sara, this must be
the greatest complement of your life. Superb.. Thank you. Even I’ve a story for you.
– Sure. That I haven’t told anyone.
– I am scared. I’m scared even more. Do you remember Hyderabad?
– Oh, dear. Are you going to tell everyone?
– I had went to dance at a big wedding. Full-on performances! They were 8 minutes long with
a grand entry and what not.. I was exhausted and I came back to my van,
sweating profusely. I was trying to catch my breath
and someone told me that Sara Ali Khan
is here to meet you. I asked him
to introduce me to her. And I thought, we will meet,
exchange a few pleasantries and maybe, take a photo
and call it a night. She came with her friend. I didn’t even ask her
to sit and they were in.. You did ask us to come in. You did, why are you lying? But I didn’t ask you
to stay there for an hour. I hadn’t even wiped my sweat and she was in the van
with her friend. And they’re having a merry time
in my van. It wasn’t like that! They entertained me so well
for one hour. But I remember this as I
was involved in their talks. She asked me about the movie
that I was working on.. It’s ‘Simmba’.. And she said,
‘let me act with you..’ ‘Which other movie?’ ‘Gully Boy’ and it was
the same thing again.. Well.. Why would you expose it
in front of everyone? You said that she belongs
to a Nawabi lineage. – Yes. Do you know what she did
on the set? Oh, my God! I knew that
this would happen. There is a birthday sequence
in the movie. We were shooting
and it was midnight.. It was almost midnight..
– Yes, right. So, in the sequence,
a cake was about to be cut.. She became emotional
and teary-eyed and told me that it is her birthday
for real. We became emotional
and tried to get a cake.. Then she started laughing
and told us that she was lying. That’s her character. I savoured every bit
of that cake.. We were shooting in Goa.. We had to wake up early..
– Only one is enough.. You are exposing everything. The next day, all of us
were leaving to Mumbai. I asked her as to when
her flight was? She said, it’s at 12 o’clock. I said, really?
She giggled and said that it is the 7 o’clock flight. She is quite weird. These rich kids
and their white lies. It’s my birthday today,
I’m joking! When it comes to poor guys
like me, lies are different. We used to skip classes and feign diarrhoea. ‘Why didn’t you come
to school last day?’ ‘Sir, I..
I was sick..’ Our grandparents have died
so many times.. Don’t even ask. They die a lot of times. ‘Why didn’t you come to school?
Grandpa died, Grandma died..’ ‘Uncle died..’ It happens for real,
nowadays. Do you know about her deeds
on the set? Please, come on! We’re eager to hear it. You’ll be startled
to know about it. What..
– The things that you do.. What did I do? – Sara. Sara.. Shall I go for it? Sara, you’re going
to showcase your talent for us. Act like an imbecile. You’ll get me in a fix. When she did it
for the first time we almost had a heart attack. What are you doing? This is the highlight, sir. We shot an entire movie
with her. So, we know how she is. And he is flattering her
as if she is some Nawab.. God knows what is going
to come out of her. This is why I don’t say a word. We expected a Nawab,
but got a joker, instead. She is practising
to be ‘Thangavalli’ in ‘Chennai Express 2’. Look, he can’t shut up
about Deepika. It’s done intentionally.
Aren’t you noticing it? Everything is somehow
related to her. You are hurt? You guys have rehearsed
beforehand, to taunt me, right? No, sir.. It’s just.. It was Deepika
in ‘Chennai Express’. Oh, I thought,
it was Waheeda Rahman. I’ve seen that film. And Ranveer used to visit her
at the set and we were certain
that they will marry each other. Such romance, such affection.. The playfulness in their eyes.. So what?
– I got such a darling, Kapil! I worked hard.
– Why would.. Ever since 2012,
I’ve visited her at every set that she worked.. Look at him.. Look how proud he is. I know.
Deepika was here once to promote ‘Finding Fanny’. Arjun Kapur and Deepika
were in it. But I saw a guy,
roaming outside.. When I went up close to him I wondered whether he was
in the movie or not. Then I got to know that he is not in the movie
but in her vanity van. He was sitting inside it. Well.. Ranveer, I’m from a family
of astrologers. You’ll be jinxed,
don’t taunt me a lot. Okay.. Sara, you are looking
very beautiful. – Thank you. I have seen Sara’s
childhood photos when she was a kid.
She was very chubby. You are Ranveer’s close friend.
Good friend of mine, too. Arjun Kapoor.
– Yes. He was also very chubby.
– Yes. Sonakshi.. She is like
a sister to me. She was also chubby. Varun was also chubby. Mr. Rohit,
how does this work? Why are all the star kids
and rich kids chubby? What!
– I am a poor man. Ask them. But many heroines.. As you said,
Sonakshi was also chubby. Everyone is in childhood..
– Sara was also very chubby. Deepika was never like that. That is true. Sara, I want
to ask you one thing. Ranveer was not married when you were shooting
for ‘Simmba’. – No. The movie got released.
He is married now. – Yes. Did you find any difference
in Ranveer before marriage and after marriage? No. He always says
that he got married six years ago.
That is how it was. Kapil, I had
accepted her as mine from my body, mind and soul,
six years ago. You could have told me. I would
have looked for some other job. Why did you waste
six years of my life? You were trying
since five and a half years. They had already
made up their minds. He told me
that he will marry her. I had made up my mind
when you were flirting with her. He had made up his mind
when I was trying my luck. Anyway, it’s okay. Sara, I noticed one thing.
You belong to the Nawab family. You can say that I belong
to the family of socks. We..
– Socks family? Our socks are usually torn. The toe will
usually be peeping outside. This happened to us as kids. We didn’t find the need
to spend on socks. We have to wear them
inside the shoes. I don’t spend money on things
that are worn inside. But all children get scolded
by their parents. – Yes. Sara, I have met you
a few times. You are very cute
and very sweet. I don’t think
you would have got scolded. I have been scolded.
I get scolded even today. Really?
– Yes. I was very mischievous
and I am the same today and I may be the same
in future too. – Hey! That is why I get scolded
for every reason. Really?
– Yes. I get beatings too. But that is what she says. Do you know
what actually happens? ‘Sara, what are you doing?
Behave yourself.’ This is how rich people scold. If I tell you
how we get scolded.. Have you seen how
our parents scold? Yes, tell us..
– Poor people’s scolding. They hold us between their
knees and hit us with elbow. Slippers.
– This is the difference. Seriously! You may say, ‘Okay, Mom.
I will not repeat this.’ But we start screaming. I have noticed
one more thing. When the kids of rich people
fall down, people ask ‘Oh, baby. Are you all right?
What happened?’ Nothing would have happened
and they call the doctor. ‘Call the doctor.’ In our houses,
if the child falls down the mom doesn’t bother
that the child has fallen. She hits us even more.
‘Play more pranks!’ ‘Try it again!’ This is what happens to us. This is how it works. – But I
have a compliment for you. India had forgotten to laugh
for one year. They will laugh again today.
– Yes! Love you, Mr. Sidhu.
This is the love of the people. Otherwise, I don’t discuss anything scientific here. We just joke.
And our guests are also lovely. They come here
with a lot of energy. I was discussing it with them. I told them that they come
with such positive energy that things start working
on their own. Thank you so much once again
for coming. Thank you, Mr. Sidhu. Greetings. My Kapil!
How are you? I’m good.
– Hi, team ‘Simmba’. Sit.
– Hello. Hi.
– Hi. Kapil, reproduce me. What! – What do you mean?
It is introduce. Yes, do that. Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome the unwanted, unprofessional,
unplanned child on the earth and the very untalented,
ignored and un-cousin.. Get lost! Does anybody introduce
his sister like this? He has become
very irritating since the time
you and Deepika got married. What you used to make.. Sentimental. – Yes. He had
a jolly nature earlier. He has developed
a sentimental nature now. Kapil. It’s okay. It’s in the past now. Nobody can stop
what has to happen and Ranveer Singh. They do what they want. Don’t worry. I was sitting at home
for one year. None of the relatives
came to meet me. The show began and relatives
have started arriving. How could we
come one year ago? Did you have
any fixed place? You were roaming around. People have read it
in the newspapers. And if you talk
about relationships I am your sister. My sister!
– Your sister. We had the same grandpa. We had the same grandpa. But there is a difference
of 17 grandmas between us. My grandpa got married
56 times. So, you will find around 800
cousins of mine in the market. Kapil, how long will we talk
about ourselves? – Yes. Team ‘Simmba’ is here.
– Yes. Have you come here
to promote your reception? Are you crazy, Sapna? Who promotes
their reception? He is Ranveer Singh.
He can do anything. Mr. Sidhu, people shave
when their moustache grows. He does movies
when his moustache grows. My God!
– Wow! He has a lot of energy,
Mr. Sidhu. Just one person was left
at his reception. – Okay. Even his family
was not worried about him. He danced with that person
for almost four hours. Very nice. Basically, he is the Rajinikanth
of the Sindhis. Rajinikanth of the Sindhis. Sapna, listen to me. Today is the first episode. That is why Mr. Sidhu
is polite so far. – Okay. Otherwise, he would have
transferred you to the other show by now. He cannot do that because I have come here
from somewhere else. Now that I am here,
I’ll talk to Mr. Rohit. Mr. Rohit,
appoint me as your assistant. I’ll do as you say. She is like me. What?
– I had also said the same. Hire me. I’ll do as you say.
– Actually, the thing is.. Listen, Kapil. Gaffur had told me something.
– What? Be on good terms with Shettys
if you want to stay in Mumbai. Mr. Rohit,
I have a problem in life. What? Hey! I had an affair with Mukesh.
– Okay. I broke up with him. Talk to him.
Convince him on my behalf. He doesn’t know Mukesh. Everyone knows him. Mukesh is
from the movie industry. Who?
– Who? – Before your movies get screened in the theatre his ad is shown. Mukesh who appears
in the cigarette ad. – Yes. ‘What happened to this city?
There is smoke everywhere.’ ‘I am Mukesh
and I am 23 years old.’ I had an affair with him,
Mr. Rohit. It’s good that you left him.
He smokes a lot. Okay, that Mukesh. Even I was wondering
which Mukesh liked this woman who looks like a bottle
of tobacco. Listen to me.
My show has started. I’ll give you a job, okay? No, Brother Kapil.
My work is already set. What?
– Look at that. I have started
Sapna Beauty Parlour. I’ve got work. Her parlour is open. I will take them. My special clients are here.
– Are you out of your mind? They have come on my show
and not to your parlour. May I say something,
Brother Kapil? – What? Many celebrities visit
my parlour. Which celebrities
visit your parlour? I’ll show you.
Take a look. Watch it.
See for yourself. Here.
– Where? There. This is my first day.
I have no idea. Mr. Amitabh.
– Mr. Amitabh. Greetings,
ladies and gentlemen. If you want to get
your facial, manicure pedicure or massage done,
these are your options. A. Sapna Beauty Parlour.
B. Sapna Beauty Parlour. C. Sapna Beauty Parlour
or D. Sapna Beauty Parlour. My long eyelashes.. The soft skin of my legs.. I won’t be able to forget
Sapna Beauty Parlour. Sapna Beauty Parlour.
Sapna Beauty Parlour. Mr. Shahrukh. Mr. Shahrukh! Oh, my God! Sapna’s waxing,
Sapna’s threading and Sapna’s massage
should never be suspected. I had told you
not to mimic the artist who is sitting here. I got caught, you idiot! Get lost!
I’ll talk to you later. Sapna, when did I say this? Sorry, I have started
a new business. I made a mistake. Sapna.
– Yes? Do you know
how to run a parlour? Sit here. I know everything. Tell me one thing.
What should we do if we want Deepika Padukone’s
glow on our face? Deepika’s glow?
– Yes. Firstly, you will have
to purchase a flat worth Rs. 50 crores in Juhu. Okay. Then? You will have to do
a minimum of 25 super hit movies.
– Okay. You will have to marry
a handsome Ranveer Singh. I mean, all in all,
you’re hopeless. Sara can do this. Our Sara is very pretty.
– Yes. She has a nice glow. Let’s have a huge round
of applause for Sara. Sara, you are a nice person.
– Thank you. Compare our skin tones.
We have glowing skins. Even our features match
with each other. Take a look. Not at all! She is from royal family
and you were born in stables. Utter nonsense! On that note, Sara
will you please help me? Tell me. – Please ask your
father to employ me as Taimur’s nanny. Do you love kids that much? No, I like being
in the limelight. I like it very much. His nanny’s photo gets
published in every newspaper. Isn’t Taimur so cute!
He is so famous at such a young age. They never
published my photo and I’m so big. Please give me a chance. Do you think you’ll
be able to take care of him? Look at him.
Such small-minded people! They are
from a royal lineage. They have employed people
to cater to his nanny’s needs. You know nothing.. Mr. Rohit,
you have a great body. You have a great
personality as well. You are a great
director as well. Please give me
one crore rupees. Why do you ask for that? Are you mad?
How dare you ask money from the guests? He once gave me
a role in ‘Bol Bachchan’. So, I think he will
give me one crore rupees. Kapil, you’re impossible. Fine.
I know who among them will visit my parlour. Who will that be? Rano.
– Who is that? Deepika and I
call Ranveer ‘Rano’ out of love. Come, Rano.
Rano. – Where? Mustache.. – Sapna, I hope you
know that Ranveer plays the role of a cop
in ‘Simmba’. Indeed.
– He plays a great role. Don’t we need
to dial 100 to call cops? – Yes. He is so energetic
that he will reach your place as soon as you dial 1. You need not dial 100. Hello, Deepika.
I have Ranveer under my custody. Send me Rs. 10 crore
if you want him safe. Otherwise,
your honeymoon will be delayed. Yes.
Okay. Bye. You need not worry.
You are a Sindhi guy. We will divide
the money. Look, this parlour
was an excuse to hug Ranveer. I wanted to be here with
him on the very first episode. Thank you.
Love you, Mr. Rohit.. What, sir.. – Sir, I’d like
to say something about the show. There are no better
actors than the two of them on TV. Great. We started this show
on Sony when I was a judge. They have come together
again on Sony. There’s none better than them. Great..
– There’s none better than them. Thank you, sir. I’ll tell you what. We lacked
something in the show which is now complete
with your arrival. Thank you.. Superb. Even I’d like to say
that what they do here is genius level work.
– Great! They spread laughter
with their talent and hard work. A big round of applause. Thank you.
Thank you. Please welcome
the very fit, very handsome very dashing, very talented,
my buddy, Sonu Sood! You make it a fun place
wherever you go. – Wow! May the Lord
answers all your prayers. Great!
– Wow! He has powerful arms. He can do the impossible
with his hands. Well done! Thank you, sir. That was a great poem. That was really great. Indeed.
Suitable to the occasion. Nobody is as fit
as Mr. Sonu.. I mean, we also have Ranveer..
– I second that. Ranveer. – We build
muscles temporarily and build abs. Throughout the year.. He stays the same. I wonder since when.. If you are
fond of having tea you may take
cookies from him. Sonu, just once.. Sonu.. Sonu.. It’s the truth. You know that we
believe in evidence. Check it. Sir, seems like he spends
at least 8 hours in gym. He’s played a villain’s role
in most of the movies. Sir.. After building
such a great body.. – Yes.. When you are
seen getting beaten up don’t you feel
bad about it? I’ll tell you what.
I’m an intelligent person. Though I get
beaten up a little in the end, I usually
beat up a lot of people in the whole movie. If you ever collaborate
with Mr. Nawaz.. Or with Rajkumar Rao..
– Yes. They are not as
muscular as you. Will you tell the director
to fear the God? That’s great. Your shoes
are very good. I didn’t see him
wearing those when we came here. He has betrayed me. These laces are so big
you can tie up people with them. Sir, you have great shoes. Even the construction workers
don’t wear such shoes. Sara. Yes?
– I know they are mischievous and bully you. Did they support you
in the beginning or bullied you? Though they’ve always
supported me but they’ve also
bullied me a little. When?
– Sir, how can you say that! Sir, Sara is very talented.
She is a national level swimmer. Really? Well, I don’t know
much about swimming.. I float for a while
then I drown. But the swimming..
What is it called? Rep.. – Strokes.
– These strokes.. I will tell you the names.
You’ve to show how it’s done. We don’t have the budget
to get a swimming pool. You can pinch your nose
and pretend you’re swimming. Okay? Freestyle.
You’ve to show how it’s done. Wow! Is she right? Butterfly. No.. Is that right? – Aren’t you
supposed to go forward? This is how it is done.
– Wow! She is doing like this. Which nation’s
national level swimmer are you? That’s what I was saying. I’m
not a national level swimmer. Please live the lie
to save my face. She gave me written instructions
to perform different strokes in swimming. In our villages..
You might know it, Mr. Sonu. In the ponds.. – The ponds..
They know only one style. They use one hand
to pinch their nose and use the other one
to hold the underwear. The don’t want water
to enter into their noses and their underwear
to float away. Trust me. Many even wear torn
underwear. Huge ones. On top of that, they don’t
bathe in swimming pools but lakes. They bathe where buffaloes do. Like Pandey. He swims a lot. That underwear..
If you’ve seen it.. If you jump while
wearing it, it gets filled with air. It get filled with air
and rises up to your chest. Yes. And if you pass gas, people
would wonder what you’re doing inside the swimming pool. It rises up to your chest. Then you press the air out. If you press on this side,
it rises on the other. Once it’s filled with air
and you’ve pressed it out you can’t get out. It’s because if you get
into the swimming pool again, the underwear will.. Sir, I’ve heard that there’s
wink in ‘Simmba’ that they weren’t able to do.
– Yes. The song is about winking
and the lead actress doesn’t know how to wink.
Wonder how we shot it. How tough could it be to wink? Why.. – I don’t know. She couldn’t do it..
– My face itself moves.. We cheated.. If you watch the song,
you’ll find that she hasn’t winked even once. Sir, you’re exposing
so many of my secrets! The audience can see it! Try it here. It might be because you get
nervous while shooting a film. Yes, try it.
– All right. Wink at the
camera.. At Siddhu.. Shall I wink at you?
– Okay. It’ll hurt. I’ll try. She closes both her eyes.. It happens sometimes.. When you wink..
You open your ATM.. I mean.. ATM? – You open your mouth
while winking.. Lots of people, when they wink,
either the shape of their face changes or the other
eye also closes. Does anyone here think
they can wink amazingly? Is there anyone who
is perverted like that? What are you going to do? No! You should wink
without moving your head! And without opening your mouth. He’s still opening his mouth. Your face seems like
you’re spitting out after chewing tobacco. Naughty eyes.. With a different expression..
Winking with an innocent face. This..
– Now a perverted wink. Awesome! That’s great! That.. Variety! A nice pervert. I’ll tell you what?
Rohit likes your talent. Go to his office. Ask the guy at the reception
the address to Karan Johar’s office. Go there and ask the address..
– To Yash Raj’s office. Yes. Roam around like
that and keep winking. Are you here with anyone
or has that beautiful girl sat beside you because
you’re lucky. You’re lucky? This guy seems
like a pervert who winks.. Has he said anything to you? He’s like a brother to me. There you go! That’s what my wife
said about him! I’ve noticed that a man’s deeds
indeed affect his future. I say such things to people,
that’s why this happens to me. Sit down, sir. Thank you. Oh! – Yo! – ‘Bhaji Pau’,
it’s nice to meet you. I’m Baji Rao! Oh! I’m happy to meet you..
Greetings! Never doubt an arrow
knocked in a bow Kheer in rice and
Paneer made from my buffalo! My greetings to you all. My greetings especially
to Ranveer Singh! Hey, Baccha. Don’t shout too much. You
might burp from your backside. Sir, Deepika Padukone has
gone somewhere because he says such things. Kappu Sharma, you should
do that. – What? Move on. Hey.. Rohit.. I’m a huge fan of yours. I mean, he’s the only guy
who doing ‘Golmaal’ openly and earning crores of money. You really expire me. Hey, it’s inspire. Is that so? If you know what it means,
you should also get inspired. Look how fit he is and
look at you. You’ll..
– Look how fit you are! Kappu Sharma,
you’ll soon look like me. I’ll tell you, I can take your
place and do the interviews but you won’t be
able to do my job because you can’t crack jokes! What a feat? It’s difficult
to live as a spineless creature. Ms. Sara.
– Yes. It’s natural here. I’d like to say
– Yes, please. You’re cute.
– Thank you. Make some time to play
the end game with me. What? People look forward to connect
and not to end. Love, I don’t deserve that. But you can play
the end game with me so that I can tell the world,
Sara Ali Khan ditched me. Now, that’s a feat! I’m good with such a feat. Well, Mr. Sonu.
– Sir. What a body? What a body? I must say, to be honest. These days, everybody has abs.
– Okay. To stand out of the crowd,
I’ve accepted this unique shape. Nice. Talking about which,
what a body? What a body? Sir, tell me something. If you take a loan from bank you must repay in principals. Why is that so? Because if he pay the interest.. …won’t the Sonu
of Sonu Sood be left out? Wow! The Interest.. Baccha.
– Kids don’t ‘Sood’ him. Just like that, mate. Baccha, why are you with these
semi naked soldiers? That’s about right. Anyway Kapil Sharma,
I’ve brought them here because, since I came to know,
Mr. Ranveer has married Deepika ma’am. There’s a man,
who’s doing a Julius off lately. Julius.
– Julius. I brought them here for
security purposes. But seeing you in Simmba attire,
I’ve changed my mind. You’ll manage.
– I’ll manage. All right then,
I’ll let them go. Attack! Hold.. That’s not the word. It’s something called.. When the king asks
the soldiers to scoot.. Goodbye. Goodbye.
– Goodbye, it is. Goodbye! You may leave. Ranveer, you invited 40 people
at your wedding. How did you chose them?
Was that by counting out game? Or by lottery. The closest ones were called
for the wedding. On the day of your wedding a lot of people were upset. Kappu Sharma,
I hope you have seen it? What?
– Mirror. Congratulations on getting
married. – Thank you. I wanted to come as well
but a paper was missing. Which one?
– Invitation for the wedding. Or else, I would’ve
tried to come. But that’s all right. Sir, keep it.
– What is it? It’s not a gift. But the bill of cottage cheese
served at your wedding. I see your courage
increasing day by day. He didn’t pay for it?
– Yes. When did you serve
cottage cheese at his wedding? Do you have any proof? What proof does he have
to counter my statement? Why will he give you a proof? He can give five receptions,
so what’s wrong with a proof? Cottage cheese from 18 bulls. I supplied cottage cheese from
18 buffaloes, that too in Italy. Think, how far it is. How did you go there?
– I went there, walking. Do you have any idea
about the distance? How did you go there, walking? Kappu Sharma,
do not talk about Italy. Italy is a place where
big celebrities get married. Anybody can get married
in Punjab. Did you see him in his wedding? He was having pasta
to get the feel of Italy. He is like that. Ranveer, I saw all the photos of your wedding, zooming them. You sister-in-law was nowhere. Which one?
– Bhansali. I do respect him a lot.
He is a senior director. But the joke was on him
so I included his name. At this point
I usually get a phone call. Oh well.
It’s antenna is on your head Yes, kind of. Nick Jonas is calling me. Nick Jonas. Hey, Nick. Nick. Yes, Baccha Yadav here.
I called you for the payment. It’s such.. He disconnected my call. I swear, on his and Priyanka’s
wedding he told me in person. That I’ll put the condensed milk
in the carrot porridge. So I went there and did the job. Now he tells me that the
condensed milk is dark in color. So I told him it’s not dark
but you are fairer. That’s why
it’s looking a bit dark. I’m not kidding, Siddhu I’ve
never seen a white guy like him. So you’ve got
all the weddings this year. I even supplied cottage cheese
at Virat and Anushka’s wedding. Yes, I did. I was there to take the payment. But Virat pulled out a stump
and started running after me. He told me to get out. So I thought, when a cricketer
of his stature is telling me. I must be out. So I went away. But, Baccha, the biggest wedding
of the lot, held in Punjab.. Are you talking
about his marriage? Did you get the payment there? Who gets cottage cheese where
the price is Rs. 24 per plate? No chance. Even the lentils had so much
water in it, nothing to say. But I forgave him
as he is a nice man. How is your cottage cheese
any different? That everyone is ordering
for it. I had a conversation
with the royal family today. Sir. It feels good that you have
interest in my cottage cheese. So it’s such.. That we make cottage cheese
of seven different colors. He makes only one kind of
cottage cheese. – White that is. The color is white in Sunday,
It becomes yellow on Monday. In Tuesdays it becomes darker. On Wednesday due to fungus
it becomes greener. Till Saturday it becomes black. Yuck. To all the people
who were wondering.. Where Kapil Sharma was
all these years. He was observing how my cottage
cheese changes its color. He has so much of idle time. The cottage cheese
is changing its color. Too good. I’ll tell you what, Sara? When I give a lemon
to my buffalo to lick it gives me Paneer
instead of milk. If you do it, it won’t give
you Paneer. – Why is that? It’ll give her ‘Shahi Paneer’!
She’s from a royal family! Wow! – Thank you.
I’ve cracked a royal joke! Well, my dad was also
from a royal family. He had so many
indulgences like a Nawab. He once bathed but didn’t
wipe his back with a towel like people do. We’ve got a buffalo. He picked up a calf
and wiped his back. He gets fun like that. First his father used
to have fun then the calf started having fun. That calf has the right
to half of the property. He’s Baccha Yadav
and that’s Bachda Yadav. Look, Kappu Sharma.
– Yes? When people of same level
like Ranveer and I are talking heartbroken people
like you should not talk. Baccha, how are you
and Ranveer on the same level? We’ve got the same energy level! Those who drink milk
of my buffalo have this level. That’s a truth. Not everyone can digest it. Sir, the other day my uncle
drank my buffalo’s milk. Sir, I got to meet
you guys today.. I can’t tell you how happy I am! It’s okay even if I don’t
get paid for Paneer. I got connected to huge
personalities like you. It feels good when it happens. You have made a film. You break records
with every film. This film will also
break records. But, Ranveer, I’ll see if you
can break a record of mine. Tell me what the record is. I’ve got 11 kids. You need lots of stamina..
– Look, take your time. No rush. – You’re going to get
heartbroken at least 11 times. Baccha. – Yes? – You
haven’t cracked a single joke. Oh, jokes! Sir, I’ll tell you, sir.. Sara.. I’ve got a box of jokes. Everyone says
that I’m very funny. Everyone believes that,
so an ambience gets created.. I’ve got a box of jokes. I’ll tell you a joke. Look.. The sunlight.. It will never fail
an examination. Tell me why that is. It’s because the sunlight
studies everyday.. It does. How would you ask a rose
to go to the moon? Gulab Jamun. That was actually funny. Listen.. One more joke.. A friend of mine opened a mall. He has to tell everyone
to come to his mall and shop there.
How would he say it? – How? He’ll call them up
and tell him “Maula Mere”.. Well done. That’s enough..
I can’t do this anymore. I’m a little.. I’ll say another one
for Kappu Sharma. Okay. Tell me, Kappu Sharma.
– Okay. Smart and intelligent people..
– Okay.. Why do they always
say that they’re busy? I don’t know. – Ask me.
– Why do they say that? I’ll tell you later.
I’m busy right now. We have a tradition. When I come, I bring lollipops for my celebrity friends. It’s a gift. Oh, you love it. I can tell it
from your face, sir. For you. I have more.
Don’t worry. – Thank you. Take it.
– Wow. And this, sir. – Oh.
– Please have. Thank you.
– Please have. Enjoy. Can we eat this? Yes, you can. Go ahead. Go ahead. Have it. Ms. Sara, go ahead.
– His entire lollipop fell.. Just a minute.
That’s it. Enough now. No, look. I run a business. Look there. ‘We sell lollipops
tasted by celebrities’. Sara still has hers. That’s it. Enough. You had enough. Enough.
No, this will go over there now. Thank you very much,
all of you. I put my shop here. Here you go. This belongs to, Sara. This belongs to Mr. Sonu. This..
What have you done, sir? How?
– There it goes. Mr. Yadav.
– Yes? Can I have Deepika’s? Oh, my!
Great. Shall I get a gift for her
from my end? I think it’ll be auctioned
at a high price. He’s right. What he’s said is right. By the way,
thanks, all of you. You improved my business. Thank you very much. I shall take your leave.
Thank you very much. We shall meet again. Bye! Here I go!
All right. A big hand for ‘Simmba’s’ entire star
cast and director Mr. Rohit. Sir, thank you so much
to come to our shows. Keep the applause going on. Thank you so much, Mr. Rohit.
Thank you so much, Sara. Thank you, Mr. Ranveer. Thank you, Mr. Sonu. I hope you enjoyed being here. Last year,
‘Golmaal Again’ was released and it had done really well. In the same way, ‘The
Kapil Sharma Show’ is here again And it shall also do well. Thank you, sir. Love you.
Thank you. Happy new year all of you. And keep smiling even
in the coming year. And may you make many
super hit, blockbuster films. The year will
be spent with laughter as ‘The Kapil Sharma Show’
has begun. May God bless you. The way you spread happiness.. We missed you
the entire year so much. We can’t express it. The entire family..
– Same here. Even we missed it. The family
together watches this show. This creates a bonding. The way you spread happiness
among the people of the nation. May you spread love like that.
– Thank you, sir. Love you, sir. – Mr. Kapil, my
mom is a big fan of years. Please say hello
to her for once because.. What? – Yes. – Ms. Amrita,
hello. How are you? Thank you so much for producing
such a beautiful product. Well, one more thing.
– Yes? As you know I
often visit Gurgaon and Amritsar there in Punjab. I always waited for this
and my friends used to say it. That ask Mr. Kapil
to begin soon as it’s difficult
to spend the evenings. That’s right. – It’ll be spent
well now, friends! It was really nice
to meet all of you. Thank you so much once again. All of you must also
keep laughing and smiling. And keep watching
‘The Kapil Sharma Show’. Only on Sony
Entertainment Television. Good night. Thank you!