The Kapil Sharma Show Season 2 – Ep 61 – Full Episode – 28th July, 2019


Wow! Ms. Archana,
people always say couples are made
in heaven. – Yes. God must be thinking that you did everything.
You followed her. You were roaming around
the girl’s college. Now when you are in trouble.
Why you blame me? When a baby is born.
It’s called a gift from God. Again God must be thinking that both of you did everything. So where’s my fault? Well ladies are experts
in making pairs. You must have seen
in the market. They spend hours to find a matching blouse
for their sari. The husbands go crazy
due to this. You are here
for only one blouse, right? Why are you taking
so much time? The wives gets more angry. If I would have took
this much time by looking at your photo.
Then now I would have been in a happy relationship. When the couples are happy and they go for walk. When they see any beggar
asking for Rs. 2. They give him Rs. 10. And after going through
a scuffle. If the beggar says may God keep you
together. – May God bless you to be together forever.
– Then men starts advising him. Don’t be a beggar.
Go and get some work. You are a healthy person.
Get some work. Get out of here. If the beggar still says,
may God keep you together for eternity.
– Whoa! Then the husband grabs the coins
from the beggar’s bowl and kicks him out of there. The backbenchers in school,
the idiots. They too sit in pairs. They hide from the teachers. Also the teachers sends them out
in pairs. When I was in school Dinesh and Pandey always
used to stand outside the class. Even today they are standing
outside the stage. Mr. Sharma Something’s wrong. What’s the matter,
Chinky and Minky? Just a minute,
Kapil Sharma. Just a minute. Why are you asking them?
Let me tell you. These two sisters robbed me. How can someone rob
a robber like you? Kapil Sharma, these two girls
came to my hotel. – Okay. You should be happy
that someone came to your hotel. Or else, no one comes there
except the rats. This is really fun.
Until now you were being insulted
by only one person. But today it has doubled. That’s great,
Very good. Remember, Kapil Sharma,
someone who pulls other’s underwear. Someday his underwear
also gets pulled. Who told you the procedure
for this underwear joke? You are the man who
wears a handkerchief like an underwear. Anyways, why I am wasting time
on you when two beautiful girls are
standing next to me. Yes, tell me,
Chinky and Minky. Mr. Sharma, Chandu robbed me. Hold a second.
Whom? You or you? It’s me, I don’t know about her. Kapil Sharma, they are lying.
Let me tell you the truth. Okay.
– One of them ordered a dish and ate the food.
And escaped with an excuse of going
to the washroom. Then the other one came
and ordered another dish. But they are paying
only for one dish. Is it true,
Chinky and Minky? There was one dish,
and I am the only person to eat. So I will only pay
for myself, right? That’s right. But he’s saying
both of you ate the same dish.
– Yes. I ate my dish,
I don’t know about her. She is right. Kapil Sharma, tell me you are with me or them? I am with ‘Sony’,
I don’t know about you. Okay, no problem.
Pay for one dish. Give me Rs. 2500.
– Hello Rs. 2500 for one dish. What was there in the dish,
Chinky and Minky? ‘Paneer Masala’, ‘Butter Masala’
‘Chana Masala’ ‘Veg Lucknowi’, ‘Veg Kolhapuri’,
‘Veg Jaipuri’ ‘Alu Puri’, ‘Pani Puri’,
‘Halwa Puri’, ‘Kali Dal’ ‘Peeli Dal’, ‘Maa Ki Dal’,
‘Tawa Roti’, ‘Mishri Roti’ ‘Makki Roti’. That’s enough. You are hardly six inch tall,
how did you eat all these? No, these all were in the menu. The dish was only having
‘Khoya Paneer’. Also there was no ‘Paneer’
in that. She’s right, as the name says,
the ‘Paneer’ is missing? When I asked him
for the Soya sauce. He said it’s sleeping. Also, it took him 3 hours
to serve the food. It slept..
– It’d obviously take time. He doesn’t cook anything.
He makes the customer wait and steals food
from wedding feats! What! Did you make me eat
the food you’d stolen? I don’t want to take any risks
by cooking! That’s why I do this. Why did you charge them
Rs. 2,500 per plate? It was unlimited. – But we were
served only a little. The food is limited,
but the price is unlimited! Pay Rs. 2,500 or I will call
the police. No, Chandu, it’s a trivial
matter. Let’s settle it. Don’t call the police.
I will get you the money. Who ate first? Tell me that
and I’ll get you the money. Wait.. It was her. No.. Wait. It was her.. No..
Come here.. They look exactly the same! Chandu, tell me when you
find out and I’ll pay you! Okay, bye, Mr. Sharma.
– Bye.. – Hello.. Why do I feel they have made
a fool out of me? Since they are beautiful,
just enjoy it. Do you get me? Go..
‘Hot pan?’ A cold pan is of no use, right? Go and continue your work. Who gave you the watch? Do you think I only
have pots there? We wear watches too.
Come on, Sharma! Ms. Archana. you’d have heard
of arranged marriages. – Yes. You’d also have
heard of love marriages. – Yes! But you eloped to get married!
– I did! That’s true. I said that because
our guests today in their upcoming movie,
force people to get married! They are making
‘Jabariya Jodi’. With a loud round of applause,
I’d like to invite the lead star cast
of ‘Jabariya Jodi.’ Please welcome the very handsome
actor, just like me.. – Wow! My friend, Sidharth Malhotra. And the one who still
has a crush on me.. Please welcome Parineeti Chopra! Wow. Pari and Sidharth, I welcome
you to the show! Give a loud round of applause
for this beautiful couple! Pari has already been here, but
it’s Sidharth’s first time here. Yes. – New set.. New houses..
There is a coffee shop too! Yes!
– Big budget.. Our producer
is Salman Khan! Really?
– Yes. Very big budget. – What did
I hear in the backstage? What?
– About someone having a crush. That was true.. Kapil, did you forget that I’d
tied a ‘Rakhi’ on your wrist? You are like her brother now! Was that Pari?
– Where were you last August? I was.. – On the day
of ‘Raksha Bandhan’. I don’t what happened to me
in the last year. I don’t know what people
did to me and so.. Anyway, Pari, it’s just for fun!
– Yes.. We want to let everyone know
the movie’s director is here! Yes!
– Wow! Prashant Singh.
It’s his debut movie. Wow. Congratulations, sir. It seems as if you are tense.
Please relax! You’ve made a very good film.
We saw the trailer. It looks awesome.
– Thank you, sir.. Please relax and order whatever
you want to eat. – Yes! Our show needs you
to make movies! Listen.
– That’s right! We have been doing
promotions for long now and Prashant didn’t come
anywhere but he has come to Kapil’s show!
– Just your show! – Wow. There is a reason.
– Okay. My family is here. – I see.
– Mom, dad, sister, aunt.. Oh, everyone is here.
– Greetings. They’re more excited about
‘Kapil Sharma Show’ than the movie!
– Yes! She didn’t ask
about the premiere. She didn’t ask about
the release. – I see. She asked when are we
going to Kapil’s show! Tell me now.
Do you have a crush? Forget me, she definitely
has a crush. Thank you so much for
your love and coming here. Who else is here, sir?
– My sister.. Is that your dad?
– Director’s father.. ‘Director’s father’.. He seems younger than you. Sir, congratulations.
Your son is a good earner. Nowadays, one out of five
or six children turns out okay. You got it right
with the first one. Congratulations. Pass the mic to him. Former marine.
– Sir. – Wow! I am a marine.
I’ve travelled around the world. Really?
– Yes. You’re a marine, but you’re
talking like a street goon. Thank you, sir..
Love you. Same to you. – ‘Same to you!’
– Thank you, sir. So sweet.
– At least, he said it. Only he is going to say it!
Keep that in mind! Sidharth, how do you
get rid of the side fat? This?
– Yes. What is it called?
– Love handles? Love handles. You are unable
to handle the love. I try so hard. I do yoga
and burn some calories. – I see. I eat two bowls of ice-cream
and it pops out again. Why is it so? What exercise do
you do? – You’re married now.. Right. There’s no need to
impress anyone. There’s no use. Though I get fit,
it won’t make any difference. Exactly. Why are you worried?
– So, I’m just enjoying the ice-creams.
Which ice-cream do you eat that you don’t get bloated?
– Ice-cream? – He doesn’t eat. Absolutely. I don’t eat.
– Isn’t it? You don’t have it. What’s the use of being
a star then? – Well.. You can have
roti and pulses anyway. Sidharth can buy
an ice-cream factory. Right. – That’s the benefit
of being a star. – Right. I follow a simple diet.
– Okay. – See food. – Yes. I only see food.
– You should just see it? You should only see it.
– It’s a see food diet. I always wonder why
these heroes look so spicy? Spicy..
– Every time I meet Parineeti she’s getting sharper.
Pari, don’t reduce further. A little more. It should be like
I’m not seen when I come here the next time. How shall I live then?
– Remember the ‘Rakhi’. Remember the ‘Rakhi’.
– ‘Rakhi’. One of the sisters went
to America. The other one is making me
her brother. My work is affected. My business is ruined. By the way, I know you’re hurt
that I’m married. But you should have come
at least to show the public. Oh, hurt..
– Your wife is more hurt. She’s still
in the state of shock. Mr. Chopra, you look good.
– Mr. Chopra.. Sidharth and Pari, please come.
You’re most welcome. Thank you.
– Have a seat. It’s believed marriages
are made in heaven. But Sidharth is getting people
married forcefully here. First of all, the man
is going to be ruined and not by choice.
Why? Why are you doing this? Sidharth, why are you
doing this? Why are you doing it forcefully?
– The actual reason behind this is because of the dowry
that’s taken. – Okay. There are a few such real cases
in our state. When the groom’s family
demands a huge dowry from the bride’s family..
– Okay. If the wedding date is fixed.
– Okay. And if they fail
to give the dowry then, they ask me
to kidnap them. Actually, you should abduct them
and throw them the ones who demand dowry.
– Seriously You’re great that you’re getting
them married. – Definitely. Definitely.
So, I’m doing a humble deed. Definitely.
– When you watch the movie you’ll get to know
if it’s right or wrong. And then, our entertaining
love story is ‘Jabariya Jodi’ all about.
– Oh! You would have watched it
in the trailer that Pari falls in love
with Sidharth. – Yes.. Didn’t you find any humble guy
in the entire Bihar? You make the humble guys
your brother and you fall for such goons. Why? Why do you fall
for goons? Since I had signed the movie
and that’s what the script read so, I had to do it.
In reality, I like good guys and that’s why, it’s not you. So, friends, let’s talk
about their movie. The couples are always
in discussion in our film industry.
Whether it’s Mr. Dharmendra and Ms. Hema Malini.
Or Mr. Shahrukh and Ms. Kajol. Who do you think make the best
or the hottest couple in the industry?
– I think Deepika and Ranveer. Yeah. – Oh.. Isn’t it? Yes or no..
– Yes.. What ‘yes’.. Are they answering
or teasing us? Whenever Pari comes here,
Pari and I look great together. Give me your wife’s number.
I want to talk to her. I’ll give you..
– Yes, ma’am, please. Let me dial Mr. Sidhu’s number.
– He’s call up Sidhu.. In the movie’s trailer, I heard
one of Sidharth’s dialogue. Okay. – That he wants
to be the MLA this year and his focus is towards
the seat than the beds. – Yes. That’s a nice dialogue.
– You don’t need to be MLA to have a seat.
There are some people who had bad intentions and some ministers
had to give up their chairs. Oh!
– Oh! He even gave up
his ministry now. You never know.. – No..
– He may be sitting somewhere. I love Mr. Sidhu.
I even miss him. It’s not that way.
– What.. Hey! It doesn’t have to do anything
with her. I’m saying it in general.
– Okay. She has cleared she doesn’t have to do
anything with me. – Yes. Everyone were in a confusion
if the Congress party comes into power or the BJP.
BJP’s followers wanted BJP to come into power
and so the Congress.. It was only Ms. Archana
who was like no matter who comes into power
but she wanted Mr. Sidhu to win. So that he wins and he’s busy. So that he leaves this chair
for me. Parineeti’s dialogue
in the movie goes let’s abduct Abhay Singh
and get him married forcefully. Right.
– She’s a daring girl. She’s planning to abduct
the man who’s abducting others and getting them married.
– Right. Pari, if you’re given a chance
to abduct any man in real life who would you abduct?
– Oh. Oh.. I’m in a difficult situation.
If I had a chance.. Like, if I didn’t get a chance
to meet someone and if I had to kidnap him,
it would be Saif Ali Khan. Listen, don’t woo..
– Oh, Lord! What fixing has Saif
Ali Khan done with you? He’s already having
Kareena Kapoor. Even Parineeti Chopra
wants to abduct him. Oh, Lord!
– Take me.. No.. Look, everything is safe. I’ve already told Kareena
that I love Saif a lot. She is okay with it. It’s not like,
I’ll be actually abducting him. I maintain this love
with some distance. Even I am okay
with this kind of love from you. Yes, I mean.. In my next birth,
I want to be Saif Ali Khan. Sidharth, if you get a chance.. Following her lead, there’s
another family member, Taimur. He is very cute. Yes, correct.
– Like this. Just for fun.
He is too cute. Correct.
– I’ll abduct him for a day. Correct.
– Then, I’ll return him. Indeed he is very cute.
– Extremely! I meant, if you have
to abduct a wife for yourself. Can I abduct? – What?
– Can I abduct someone’s wife? I mean, no. A wife for yourself.
– Saif has been abducted. Taimur has been abducted.
Only one person is remaining. Bebo!
– Look, I mean.. If I ever see Bebo..
– See her alone. – Yes. I mean, if I ever get a chance,
then I will.. Saif will thrash you.
– Because.. This is an unsafe conversation. Look, guys.
Sid wants to abduct Bebo. I want to abduct Saif.
Thus, we’re the best pair. God, please abduct us. Nobody wants to abduct us. We just abduct these papayas
after the shoot gets over. We shift watermelons
from here to there. Papayas..
– Pari, since you are here I want to know what this fruit
is called in English. Pear!
– Pear! Pear?
– Pear! What is it called in Hindi? ‘Nashpati!’
– Yes, ‘Nashpati’! Okay!
Doesn’t it look like a penguin? Isn’t it?
The one with a sharp beak. So sweet!
– Isn’t it, Ms. Archana? Draw a pair of eyes
and a pair of legs. Every fruit resembles something. Look at this one.
This looks so rude. It’s a task to peel it off..
– Kapil, what about this one? What about this one?
– This looks like Bachcha Yadav. This one?
– What is it called in English? This? Pom.. Pomegranate! Wow! Wow! How is it spelt? I don’t know how it’s spelt,
but I can prepare its juice. Most of the pairs are formed
due to mutual understanding. I would like to ask
our audience here.. Who all think
that their pair is outstanding? Yes, madam. We would like
to know your views. Hello, Kapil.
– Hello. Hello, Sidharth.
Hello, Parineeti. Hello. – Hi.
– Myself, Sujata. Sujata.
Yes, tell us. According to me, my man and I
form an understanding pair but my family thinks,
it’s a forced one. Oh! Is it a love marriage? I am about to get married.
– You’re about to? Next year.
– Okay. Wow, congratulations! The story goes like this.. I was in a bad relationship. I just wanted
a shoulder to cry on. Something to pass the time.
– Okay. So, there was a guy
who was a friend of mine. I proposed him casually,
just to have his company. Then, what happened? Then, you.. – Very good.
– …started having an affair. No, nothing as such.
He was on his ship and I was here. He was on a ship?
– Yes. Why? Is he in navy?
– He is a sailor. Okay. – And I proposed him
on Imo to pass the time. He sent me nice gifts. Then, I started feeling fresh. Wow, Sujata!
– Wow! Why don’t I get such ideas?
– Someday, you will. After spending a certain
amount of time with him I think, he is the best person
I have in my life. So, I’ve decided to marry him
the next year. Wow.. When are you guys
getting married? Mostly in May.
Parents are still not convinced but I have decided
that by hook or by crook I will marry him. Come what may!
– Yes, come what may! Wow!
Are you planning to elope? No, I won’t elope.
– Okay. I’ll do it openly.
It’s not a sin. Amazing! Wow! Wow!
– Best answer! Amazing! Wow! You girls make such tall claims. Why do you feel shy
while getting married? Just to show respect. We show our true colours
once we get married. Man, you must save yourself. She is too dangerous.
– Too dangerous! No matter what,
he is stuck with me. Thank you.
Thank you, Sujata. Anyone else?
Another deadly couple? Yes, sir. Hi. Who was forced into this?
– Hello, Kapil. Sir, what is your name? Tulsi Sharma.
– Tulsi Sharma! Sidharth is acting
in this movie now but I have already faced this
some 30 years ago. Oh, God! I am from Rajasthan.
– Okay. I had come to Bombay
some 30 years ago with my elder brother. Six months later.. I quit my studies and started learning from him. What? Professional skills. I joined him in his struggle. Okay. – During that time,
my friend was getting married. I went to Rajasthan.
– Okay. All the elders of my family
were present there. Okay.
– I went to my friend’s wedding. In the meantime, they chose
two girls for me. Okay.
– I returned home at 3:00 a.m. At 6 in the morning,
they showed me the girls. And then?
– Oh, wow! Then, what happened? I told them
that I just started working and quit studies recently. I had nothing. My brother bought
four pairs of clothes for me. I had no idea.
– Okay. They said, ‘Get married,
we’ll take care of everything.’ For pairs are more than enough. You just wear one pair at a time and after getting married,
even that is.. After getting married.. Then, what happened?
– I agreed. We were engaged for a year. Then, they made us marry
each other forcefully. They got me married. We are still together. Is she here? – Where is she?
– Is he here? Where is she?
– Where is she? She is the one.
– Oh, she is the one! She is sitting
right next to him. She’s so sweet.
She’s laughing at what you said. Even I find her sweet now,
not back then. He is amazing! Amazing!
– Amazing! This is our true
‘Jabariya Jodi’. Back then, she wasn’t like
Deepika but like the yesteryear actresses.
Even I had my own dreams. Even you aren’t
Nick Jonas either! Sir, tell me something. You’ve been married for 30 years.
– Yes. Have your kids accompanied you?
– I have two girls who haven’t accompanied us.
I wonder.. Well, you got married forcibly.
– Yes. You had kids as per your wish,
right? Yes. She stopped 25 years ago.
She didn’t let me have the third one. You had two kids
in the first five years? In the first 7 years.
– In the first 7 years? – Yes. And in the remaining 23 years?
– We had fun. – Fun. What a guy..
Amazing! He’s awesome..
– Amazing! Let us talk to your wife also. It’s her wish whether
or not she wants to talk. What is this? It’s her wish..
– Greetings, ma’am. How are you doing?
– Greetings. Your husband is very funny.
Does he make you laugh at home? Not at home, he’s laughing
so much here for the first time. Kapil and his show will make
even a serious guy laugh. A serious guy laugh. Actually, he has made us
laugh a lot. Did you like him
at your first meeting? No.
I hadn’t seen him at all. Then how did you agree?
– The family had agreed. You’d seen him after
your marriage? – Yes. After our marriage. When you lifted his veil..
I mean, when he lifted your veil what was your first reaction
when your eyes had met? What did he tell you?
– Nothing, he asked my name. He didn’t know your name!
– He hadn’t asked even that. What did he say next?
He asked your name first, then.. Nothing other than that. You mean, after that.. Kapil! What’s his profession? I’m into textile brokerage, sir. Is it in Mumbai?
– In Kalbadevi Market, Mumbai. Fine.
It was a pleasure meeting you. Thank you.
– Thank you. Any other friend?
Yes, sir. – Extremely sweet! Hello, sir. – Hello.
– Hello, Mr. Kapil. I’ve not been forcibly married,
but my family is going to get me married forcibly. It’s been three months
since I’ve come to Mumbai. They keep calling me every day
saying that they are going to see the girls.
– Where is your native? I am from Jaipur, Rajasthan.
– Why don’t you want to get married? Sir, because the girl I want
to get married to doesn’t want to marry me. It’s a very complicated matter.
– Right. – Where does she stay? In Mumbai?
– She stays in Nasik. Why doesn’t she want
to get married to you? I don’t know. I guess,
she doesn’t like me. What else? Shall we have Pari and Sidharth
request your girl? Right. – It’s possible..
– Shall we tell her? Do you love her?
– Sincerely. Sincerely?
Wow! If you two request,
she might agree. What’s her name? Sir, I don’t want to..
– Don’t mention her name. She must be knowing him. Nice.
He respects the girl. Very good!
– Very good. – Very good. Not respect, he is scared that her brother
might beat him up. What’s your name?
– I’m Faizan Khan. – Faizan.. Yes. – So.. – Mr. Faizan Khan’s
friend.. – Ms. X.. We request you to please talk
to him and give him a chance. He loves you. He’s confessing his love here.
Please.. Whether he respects you
or is scared of you it’s advantageous for you.
– Right. Please go out for lunch
with him. It’s our personal request.
– What would you like to tell her?
Do you wish to give a message? Go ahead. All I wish to say is that if she
loves me even a little let her express it. Otherwise, there’s no problem.
I’ll continue to live like this. Amazing, pal! – So sweet!
– My happiness lies in her happiness. Wow! ‘My happiness lies
in her happiness.’ I mentioned her name in that. I see!
Wow.. Smart! ‘My happiness lies
in her happiness.’ Her husband isn’t going
to be your husband. Go and convince her. If things don’t work out,
then think of it later. But don’t miss the chance now. Do you know why?
People keep grieving later by getting their names tattooed. Faizan, all the best! Good luck!
– Thank you. You are a very good person.
– Thank you, ma’am. Thank you so much. Any other friend?
Yes, ma’am. Hello, Mr. Kapil.
I got married when I was in my ninth grade.
– I see! – My parents told me that the boy is good
and that I get married. Did he turn out to be good? Listen to what happened next. Very good.. Have you got rebuked like this
by any viewer? I’m concerned about her husband. Yes, ma’am.
What happened next? I got married in 1986.
We had a baby in 1987. – Fine. It was a boy.
– Fine. He said he wants a girl. – Fine.
– Then I gave birth to a boy in 1988.
He has accompanied me here. I see. – He said
he wants a girl. – Fine. I gave birth to another boy
the next year. So, we had three boys.
– You didn’t have a girl? We didn’t have a girl.
– Fine. I said, ‘Enough.
Stop it now.’ She is saying, ‘Stop it.
Stop it now.’ Had he really wanted a girl
or just like that.. He really wanted a girl. Well, it’s the act of God.
– It was God’s will. I said, ‘Nothing
is in my hands’. – Exactly. Hasn’t your husband
accompanied you? – He hasn’t. I see. He doesn’t accompany me
anywhere. – She’s amazing! At least he came to the place
where it was necessary. He did come there. Oh, Lord! Haven’t your kids
accompanied you? Yes, one of my sons
has accompanied me. He is my second son. Second! Second.. Oh, God!
– Superb! What’s your name?
– Anil Shah. Anil, your mom is so sweet.
And she speaks very sweetly. So sweet. – It was
a pleasure talking to you. Thank you very much.
– ‘Second son..’ Wow.
– Hello. Hi, Parineeti. How are you?
– Hi. I am fine, drama queen. I thought I’m the drama queen
but it’s you! No, it’s always going to be.
The original drama queen. Hi, Sidharth, how are you?
– Hello, how are you? Very good. Hi, Kapil.
How was my dance? What was that? How could you
call that dance? That’s her step.
– Correct. Why did you do
that awful step? I was entertaining the guests and I was raising the level
of the show, Kapil. – Wow.. Absolutely. – Correct..
– Did you raise the level? We have been making money
for the past 5 years. She has just come.
Let her make some money too. Why are you desperate
to stop the show? Such an awful step! The sage’s..
You invented it. He’d have been
shocked to see it! Kapil, you should consider
yourself lucky that a great actress like me
is working with you. Actress?
– Yes. She is the actress.
– Yes. You could call yourself
a mattress! You could buy four of
them for Rs. 1,200! Oh, my God!
– You’d get pillows for free. Wait. Where can you buy
four of them for Rs. 1,200? The ones people sell after
their kids pee on it! Sidharth, please
take me somewhere because my growth has
stagnated because of him. Your growth stagnated
because of Iodine deficiency. Buy good quality salt. Pari, haven’t you
done an ad, Pari? – Yes. ‘Does your toothpaste
have salt?’ Even the salt she uses
isn’t saline! You’d feel like throwing up
after eating it! Growth isn’t always
about height. It’s about career as well.
That’s what I was talking about. You’d stopped it! Do you think you are
as good as Priyanka Chopra and someone like Nick Jonas
is waiting for you? I swear..
Hey! I don’t want to talk to her.
– Leave her. – Come here. If Nick Jonas had seen
me.. He’d have slapped you!
– …he’d have become my fan. I don’t want to talk to you.
Sidharth, let’s talk. I saw your movie’s trailer
and you help women, right? Yes.
– Am I not right? I need your help. There is
a guy called Chandu here. I see. – He is pestering me.
– I see. Please save me from him. Please! What does he do?
Does he trouble you? – Yes. Hello, Sidharth! Hi, Pari.
– Greetings.. What? Address her as ‘ma’am.’ Ma’am! Address her as
Ms. Parineeti Chopra. You are keen on grooming me! Who told you about grooming? I guess he is learning..
– Ms. Parineeti Chopra. All right. I came to give her
my wedding card. What is it?
– Who is getting married? Who told you about it? You go
to weddings without invitation. I stopped doing it
since you entered the fray. Cover your knees!
Are you really broke? They are broad-minded.
– I think he is broke. Oh, my God! Why did you call her Pari?
– I called her fondly! Are you her relative
to do that! You addressed her as if she
lives in your neighbourhood! Listen to me, Kapil Sharma.
When Nick Jonas is her brother-in-law, she
won’t live in neighbourhoods. Upgrade yourself. Such people live in luxury flats
or bungalows! Where?
– What? Where?
– Bungalows! Bungalows! Where..
– Bungalows. Don’t blame him. He is hungry.
Have the bananas will you? Here you go.
The format is easy. Just peel it and have it. ‘The format is easy.’
– Format.. I have to mention it since
he hadn’t eaten it before. ‘The format is easy.’
– Have it. It’s easy to eat but hard
to get rid of! What do you mean
by neighbourhoods? Neighbourhoods are places where
you’d be a watchman at night and scream ‘Stay awake.’ She has her eyes on me
even at night. Just say yes and let’s together say
‘Stay awake’ all night. Kapil, explain to your friend.
– Friend? He has an eatery. Call him
the guy who runs the eatery! Kapil Sharma.
– Yes. Are you snubbing my friendship? We are considered to be good
friends like Jai and Veeru. Really?
– If they hear you, Mr. Amitabh and Mr. Dharmendra
will slap you! Sunny Deol and
Abhishek will also thrash you! You’d not even know whom
should you apologise to! He deserves a slap! Sidharth, he is the one. I see.
– Please make him understand. He pesters me all the time! Mr. Sidharth, I will explain
everything. – All right. Actually, I love Bhuri.
– Oh! And that too, truly.
– Is it? And she keeps refusing me.
Sir, tell me.. Do heck with such a lover! Just look at his face.
He looks he got a sour burp. You think I’ll love him?
– Did you hear that? You got a reply from her, sir.
– Wow! – Don’t feel bad. Eat your banana.
– Someone who got slapped in a gathering. Just get out. Look, I’m eating
the peeled banana here. Just turn your face.
– Peeled banana. Peeled banana.
– Peeled banana. Sir, listen. It’s not right
to force someone. – Right. Except our movie.
– Yes. So, don’t love her, forcibly.
– He has to do it forcibly. No one would love him by choice. What will you take
to leave this place? Would you like to be threatened
or you want to be abused? Abused! Your menu remains
the same always? – Menu.. Offer something different.
Like being pushed or thrown out. Move.. – Pari.. – Yes.
– Buddy, hang on. Here’s the banana leaf.
Add banana over this. Using whose blouse
you got this jacket made? He’s trying to look like you. Moreover, he’s wearing
dupatta around. You could have worn
salwar’s pant as well. Forget it, buddy.
– Listen. Buddy, listen. Just sit.
– Come, buddy. Come.. I brought my friend back.
– I’m here with some hopes. He’s quite talented.
Sit.. Tell me, what should I do?
Go on.. – Mr. Sidharth. – Yes. Hold on.
My knee can be seen. Ms. Pari and Mr. Sidharth.
– Even your rear can be seen. Kappu!
– Yes. Mr. Sidharth. – Yes.
– Please explain her. You can’t find all
the qualities in the same guy. At least, one should have a few.
He doesn’t have any of them. Why not? I’m the dhaba owner.
I’m handsome like Sidharth. Hey, is he praising me
or insulting me? We’ll turn off the camera.
You may beat him up if you wish to.
– Let me go for it. The water fills till his head
during rainy season. – Okay. Then, I transfer some
to Haryana as well. Think before you speak, buddy.
– You think before you speak. You can’t match up to Sidharth
in anyway. Sidharth made an entry
into Bollywood through Karan Johar whereas, you enter
with the bowl! I’ll definitely enter
with a bowl for someone cheap
like you, right? I’m tired, buddy. I want to hit on your head
with the pineapple. You won’t be able
to pick it up. Shall I try with you?
– Hear me out. Why don’t you both start
a beggar’s association together? What do we do? Is this one related to you?
You both look same. Your body looks
something like this. – Oh! – Oh! It’s good for health.
– It’s good for health. Eat on empty stomach
and you’ll feel full. Bhuri, accept my love
or else, I’ll carry you and take you on the wedding day.
– Parineeti, there are some guys who only carry chairs
at the wedding and nothing else. I didn’t tell you
about their acts. You know what he does?
He attends the weddings and keeps the mare busy
and eats the chickpeas kept for them.
– Oh! – Mare.. Look at his mentality.
Just look at his mentality. That I’ll attend the wedding
and then, talk to the mare. Hi, mare, what’s up?
Oh.. Wow! How’s everyone
in your family? Are they fine? Mare’s family?
– Your snaffle is very nice. Where did you buy it from?
And the mare will go.. And I’ll eat her chickpeas. Wow, Kappu Sharma. The mare will tell.. You!
What was that! Really?
Looking at my acting you should go like.. You.. You’re saying, you..
– Chandu, listen. I did that for what you said
about the chickpeas. For your acting, my reaction
would be yuck! Whether your reaction is you
or yuck if I don’t carry you
and be my forced beloved I’ll get my name changed.
Oh! You..
– Chandu.. Chandu..
– Chandu.. Everyone is so excited.
If I don’t make a heck out of his life,
I won’t remain to be Bhuri. Heck out of his life..
– Bhuri, I’m ready for everything.
Just say, yes. Anyway, Bhuri.
– Oh! Accept yourself as my bride
or else.. Parineeti. – Yes.
– You make your broom run away with you, right?
– Yes. I’ll kill him, today.
– Hey! – Wonderful! Drop it..
Listen. Hey, look at me So, are you one who robs
the truck drivers on highways? Of course, not.
She’s my boss! Who?
– Ms. Archana. – Ah! Ms. Archana you’re the guest
for such a well-known show. I didn’t expect this from you. Hey, Chandu. – Yes.
– You know Kapil? – Yes. I keep when Kapil says something
because it’s his show. If you say something..
– Ah! – Wait and watch! Ms. Archana, listen.
This is not fair. When Kapil cracks some joke,
you laugh very happily. That’s because it’s his show.
– If I do, you act like some goon. Fine, sir. Mr. Sidharth, you didn’t
help me and that’s fine. She doesn’t love you.
I’m helpless. – Okay, ma’am. Did you force her? Get a sanitizer for them.
Help them clean their hands. What do you
mean by force? Excuse me! No means no!
– No! What does it mean when
the girls says no? No! No! And that’s what we do
to make a living. Sidharth appears
to be so decent. But I have got some
information from the grapevine. What? – What?
– He had failed in his 9th grade because of girls. Really? Sidharth, is it true? Yes,
I had failed in my 9th grade. Okay. But that proved to be
advantageous to me in a way.. I was studying in
an all-boys school. Okay.
– When I failed in my 9th grade I’d to change my school to
get admission in the 10th grade. Okay. – And
that was a co-ed school, so.. I was not only given
admission to 10th grade in that school but also had
girls as my class mates instead of only boys. After that I never failed in
my 10th, 11th and 12th grade. He is a very cultured guy! Parineeti had acted in a
movie by the name.. – Yes. ‘…Hasee Toh Phasee.’
– Yes. Pari, you always keep smiling. Have you ever
fallen for any guy? If she had fallen for me Nick Jonas would’ve
been my co-brother now. He is obsessed with
Nick Jonas. – Co-brother! Listen..
– Someone introduce him to Nick. Give his number to him. I love foreigners. Foreigners, you know.. Foreigners. – Foreigners.
– Caucasians! Chilling! Chill.
– What will you say to Nick? Yes, what will you say..
If you meet Nick what will you say to him?
– What will you talk with him? I will say.. After that? I will say that the white
people have looted us again! But, Pari, seriously. Guys are normally
naughty by nature. They misinterpret things. Has it ever happened that
when you gave a sweet smile.. As it is.. – Yes. You are bubbly by nature. She is always happy.
I like her very much. Has anyone ever
misinterpreted your behaviour when
you smiled at them? Has any guy got a wrong
message because of that? No, I don’t think so. Because, I think,
I become friends with everyone. A girl and a boy can
never be friends. With boys.. A boy and a girl..
– A boy and a girl can never be friends. Love.. Love..
Ma’am had asked this question. Yes. – What is love? What is love?
– Love.. – What is love? …is friendship.
– Love.. – Love is friendship. …is friendship. Love is friendship.
– What an absolutely.. It is ma’am’s dialogue.
– What an absolutely beautiful thought!
– Lovely thought! Yes. You are doing it better than me.
– Ma’am. It is ma’am’s dialogue.
– Let’s hear it. It was such a nice scene. Let’s hear it for the
original Mrs. Braganza. Yes! Ms. Braganza.
– That’s right. – Ms. Braganza. She never
gets married. You had teased Mr. Anupam
a lot in that movie. And then you break his heart. Ms. Archana, when you had told
this to Mr. Anupam in the movie his baldpate had started
shining even more. Do you know? Sidharth has a lot of female
fan following. – Yes. Everyone likes him.
But girls like him more. It is natural. He is a handsome hero.
He is popular. He is a super star. You might be getting
a lot of gifts. That’s for sure. Have you ever got
any weird gift from a female fan? Actually, a few years ago,
some fan of mine had sent me a gift
in a small box. Okay.
– A letter was also in it. When I opened
the letter and read it. I came to know that it was
some female fan of mine. Some young girl.
– Okay. She had written that
she had sent her pillow. That she sleeps on it.
– Oh! That she wants
me to use it.- Is it? So that she gets a feeling
that we share the same bed. To prove that she had
written on the pillow yes, this is my..
Yes, this is my pillow.’ A strand
of hair as the proof. Oh, lord! She might have been
suffering from hair fall. She hadn’t sent me her cut hair,
but a fallen hair. Incredible! People think of
such weird ideas. Pari,
you know what I was thinking. Like Pari, there are many
other actresses in our industry. For instance, Deepika, Kareena.
They.. They never..
It seems like they never get pimples, eczema..
– Oh, god! It seems like they
never get them. Only people like us get them. Pari, you..
Seriously, do you people ever suffer from flatulence?
– God! Huh? Listen, we get paid a lot
of money to do acting. So,
we do very good acting. I hope you understood now. I have observed that women
even after getting old still stay prim and proper.
Like a heroine, right? Men after crossing
their 50’s end up passing wind even while
sitting and chatting in public. Isn’t it? My grandpa had a friend. He used to do that. God! – Actually, my grandpa
used to do that. I think, at that age,
they might be thinking that what is the
point in being vain. Are you sure that this
story is of your grandpa? Hey! – Are you sure? Sidharth is from a rich family. Have you
ever got folliculitis? I want to know even
about heroes also. What kind of questions you ask,
Kapil? Yes, I had got eczema folliculitis while
playing sports. What do rich people
call folliculitis as? What do they call it?
– Even I don’t know. We will have
to ask Nick Jonas. Right. Ask Nick.
– Not again! What.. What do they..
– It’s a boil. I think it is a boil. Yes.
– Boil! Yes. – It’s a boil.
Yes. I think.. – Hair rising boil. Even his skin disease sounds
very beautiful. A ‘boil’. Someone check
on the internet, guys. It’s a half-boil. Wow! The skin diseases and itching
are meant for us. For instance, heat rashes
in summer and runny nose in winter. And we develop heat rashes
in a place where our hands won’t reach. One keeps doing this.
Can’t reach fully. I know all this is his story. You are suffering from all this. The story that started
with your grandpa.. A person learns
from his own life. Kapil! We know that Pari is very
fond of electronic gadgets. Right. I’ll give you a task.
I’ll mention the names of a few actors.
– Fine. You have to tell us with which
gadget you’ll compare them. Oh! – Okay?
– Ready. Let’s start with Sidharth. ‘Sidharth Malhotra.’ Sidharth Malhotra is is like the smartphone.
As he’s smart. And good-looking. Very nice answer.
‘Ranbir Kapoor.’ Ranbir is very cool, composed,
and is always calm. Like the AC.
– Oh! AC? AC? Okay.
‘Govinda.’ Govinda.. I’ve even acted in a movie
with Mr. Govinda. He’s always moving around.
He is very energetic. He keeps twisting comedy.
So, the mixer grinder. Mixer grinder.
– Very nice! ‘Varun Dhawan.’
– Varun? Varun is like the battery.
He’s like a battery. He charges the others.
– He charges the others. Like the generator. Very nice.
– He’s like the generator. Full-on energy.
– Right. ‘Ranveer Singh.’ Oh!
He’s like the generator. Ranveer should be,
as per me the popcorn machine. Why?
– He keeps jumping like this like the popcorn.
– Popping. – Correct. Every time, I looked
at Ms. Archana.. Sidharth, there’s a pretty girl
over there. Right. – Your T-shirt has these
words ‘I love you, Sidh’. Yes, I just..
– Oh! Stand up..
Wow! There are more of them.
– What! – Wow! Hi. Kapil..
– So sweet! Life should be like yours.
I’m here to just host the show. They just want to meet you.
– Yes, of course, please come. Come over.. So sweet.
Lovely. How are you? Yes, of course.
How are you? So sweet! Love the T-shirt. What?
Are you okay? Lovely! I hope these are tears of joy. Thank you so much, Kapil.
– They adore you. And they came here
walking like the chicks. That’s so sweet.
All of you are cousins? Lovely! Girls..
– Thank you so much. Girls, you are excited
to meet him, right? You met him on our show.
Pay Rs. 1,000 each. Yes.
Take the mic. You want to say something? – So,
we prefer your show always. So sweet.
Thank you. So sweet.
Thank you, girls. Bye. Thank you.. Don’t cry.
Be happy. – Yes. I am so happy
that we finally met. Okay? Thank you. Thank you. – Thank you.
Thank you. Please come, Sidharth.
Please come, Pari. Kapil, I want you to get
a T-shirt designed with these words..
– ‘Pari is my sister.’ ‘Is my sister.’
– Pari. Pal, five of them just met you and there are
crores of them outside. I am trying to woo one girl.
And you want me to consider her as my sister? You are married.
– How does that matter? Oh, God!
How does that matter! You also find mobiles
with dual SIM cards. Naughty! – I never met a girl
who had my name written on her T-shirt. I meet fat women who ask me,
‘You come on TV, right?’ I am like that.
So are my fans. But thank you for your love. We see rumours being published
about movie stars in film magazines
and newspapers. We wish to confirm
certain things from you about the rumours heard about
you, Sidharth and you, Pari. Sidharth, it says that
‘When you are hungry’ ‘you rush to have something.
You can’t bear hunger.’ Is it true? I think it’s partly true
because when I feel hungry my mood tends to change. I am a Punjabi foodie. So.. Even he is a foodie.
He has no paunch. My paunch is visible. Parineeti, about you,
we’ve heard that.. I see!
It’s a good rumour. ‘You were so good at your
academics that you’ve got’ ‘the President’s Award.’ Right. – What!
– Have you? – I see! Yes, I’d broken the class record
in Economics that year. Amazing! – Wow!
– I’d scored 97 percent. 97 percent! Wow, Pari!
I am so proud of you. 97 percent!
– Yes, 97 percent. Mine and my brother’s combined
score wasn’t so much. He’s over there. We scored
33 each, that is, a total of 66. Even if we add our dad’s score,
we won’t get 97. That’s wonderful! Sidharth. – Yes?
– There are rumours that you like to play
with guns and revolvers. Actually, when I was young,
my dad had gifted me.. Have you watched the movie,
‘Home Alone’? Yes.. Did you watch how he scares
those two robbers, in part one.. Scares them..
– Exactly. …with a pellet gun.
– Yes. My dad got a similar gun
for me. – Okay. And I was
very attached to it. But one day, when..
I think, after 6 to 7 years my elder brother
gifted it to the girl’s brother with whom he was in
love with. – Oh, he gifted it. I thought,
he did something else. – No.. We had a bitter fight
as he didn’t inform me about it. But I
was crazy about gun being a hero,
and fighting right from the beginning.
– Okay. Good that you were able
to fulfil your dreams. Congratulations! Parineeti, there are rumours that you judge people
based on their nails. How did you get to know
about it? – Is it true? I’ve checked your nails
long ago. Basically, it’s a strange thing that I got it from my dad.
– Okay. Whenever I meet someone
for the first time.. – Okay …I always take a look
at their nails. So, my dad used to tell me that if nails
are maintained well and neat it means that the person
is good. But you shouldn’t trust a person
if the nails are broken. They won’t be even hygienic.
– What does that mean.. That means, some people
have very short nails. Those people
who bite their nails.. – Oh! I never bite my nails.
– Not because of biting. Let me see..
– My nails were long I trimmed them just yesterday. Good..
You’ve passed. Approved. Pass?
– It’s a very strange thing. My close ones and my friends ask me the results
of the nail test. Is that so?
– I keep telling them that they failed
the test.. – Nail test! So, I get to know
that a particular person isn’t worthy
of being my friend. You judge people so much.
The nails of people who sell Pani Puri are so long. And you eat Pani Puris
from them! What about your judgment then? Sidharth, there are rumours
against you.. – Okay. …that you shave
your chest hair with women’s razor. What kind of rumour is this? I don’t know. It’s a rumour so I thought I’ll
confirm it from you. No.. I use
an electronic trimmer, pal. Okay.. What are you..
– Kapil has once again spoken something about him.
– Is that so? I hope, you’re not talking about your friend
or your brother’s friend. Yes, he’s the one who does that.
– My brother’s friend.. I wonder as to
what it means by girl’s razor! Exactly!
– It’s pink in colour.. Does it come
with a lipstick on? It’s comes in pink colour. That’s the only difference,
right? How do you know
about girl’s razor? Okay, actually
there are several rumours. They say that Parineeti doesn’t
turn on the ceiling fan at home as she’s scared
that it might fall on her. Is this true? – What!
– Really? – Yes, it’s true. Has it ever happened to you?
– No.. It never happened to me. But I’m scared of ceiling fans. Because I feel that
it will rotate and fall on me. Give a big hand.
– That’s wonderful! Wow! – That’s fantastic!
– How do you do? Wow! – You look fantastic!
That’s wonderful! – Thank you.. There’s bouquet, garden and many more things
on your head. Then, come to the garden
sometime. Parineeti, you’re amazing!
– Okay. You acted in
‘Namastey England’.. – Yes. The England won the world cup.
– Yes! I wish you had acted
in Namaste India. At least, we would’ve
reached finals. – Exactly! Please come, have a seat..
– Please come.. Please give a big hand. Their next movie
is a super hit. Give a big round of applause.
The promos are amazing! – Wow! What’s this?
– I’m going to call Karan Johar to complain about you.
– What for? You’ll get to know in a bit. That’s the ringtone
of his phone. – Okay. Hello, Karan! Speak loudly, I can’t hear you. Speak loudly.. – The
actor of ‘Student of the year’ has come to our show
as a goon. What do you want me..
Okay, sir. Thank you.. Mr. Karan looks very polite but he uses foul language. You got scolded from him! Sir, I watched the movie
‘Student of the year’. You were a good student
in that movie. – Yes. Then why didn’t you look
for a job after that? He is acting in big movies. He will act in movies
throughout his life. But he has to marry and settle in life as well,
right? – Yes. – Correct. The girl’s dad would ask as to what the boy
does for a living. – Yes. Then can he say
that he runs behind girls? I’m telling you the
truth. Why don’t you look for a government job
in railways? Why?
– So that you’ll find an awesome girl like me.
– See.. – Is that so? Railways..
You just.. Please look for one today.
– Yes. But why only in railways? I mean.. – You can
work for a longer period. He can work for a long period.
– I got it! That’s what I meant.
– That’s what you meant. Parineeti is sitting
next to him. – Yes. How many coaches
are there? Don’t you think it’s too much..
– Who will pay heed to you? Let me tell you this.
I’m more loyal than them. – How? Now, she’s acting in a movie
with Sidharth Malhotra. Next, she’ll act in a movie
with Pawan Malhotra. Last time,
she came with Akshay Kumar for promotions.
– Yes. And Akshay Kumar came with
Sonakshi Sinha for promotions. Where is
the loyalty here? Come on, tell me?
– You’re right. – Exactly! That’s wonderful! Am I right?
– Correct. Yes, you’re right..
– I’m more loyal than them. I come on this show only with
him on Saturday and Sundays. You both make an amazing pair! That’s wonderful! By the way, shall I tell you
something from the heart. I have acted with many peoples,
but I didn’t achieve anything. You got it right!
– Am I right, Ms. Archana? We’re on the same boat. I’m a huge fan of Pari’s.
– Okay. I watched ‘Ishaqzaade’.
I loved it. – Thank you. Remember the train sequence? Their vehicle
was right on track. I.. I can see that you love trains.
– To be honest I whistled at it.
– Oh, dear! I have my bestie there.
Mukesh. Bestie..
– I live in Nala Sopara. – Okay. Even my friend keeps looking
for such a compartment. – Okay. But he doesn’t really find it. Why do you drag Mukesh
into all your conversations? Even you drag your friends
into your conversations. What about that?
– True.. Oh.. Burn..
– Pari. I’m telling the truth.
– Okay.. – Here.. Here we have Chandu’s eatery. One of his friends
is holding the guitar. Okay.. – There..
That’s Mr. Ashok. His brother-in-law
is standing behind him. Everyone has surrounded him. Yes.. Can I be honest? He keeps
his entire family here. – Okay.. But he didn’t call my uncle,
who’s a superstar, even once. Chi Chi..
– Mr. Chi Chi. Kapil.. – Ms. Archana,
don’t clap too much. – Yes.. Can I be honest?
– Why? You need to be careful
of Sidharth. – Why? Didn’t you watch the trailer?
– Okay.. He said this line in the movie..
– Okay.. ‘I tend to focus more
on the chair than on the bed.’ Am I right? I wasn’t talking
about her chair. – Okay.. That one.. – Everyone knows
that it’s not her chair. It’s someone else’s. Smashing.. – Oh, man!
– My bestie, Mukesh.. He’s a big fan of yours.
– Is that so? You inspired him
to go to the gym. He does? – Yes. He went
there the day before yesterday. He lifted two dumbbells.
– Okay.. Then four people
carried him home. If you soak some Bengal gram
overnight.. – Yes.. The lentils seem more swollen
than him. He’s very tiny. More than him.. Hey, Sapna!
Are you done? No, it’s only been 4.5 minutes.
I still have one more minute. You see, if I don’t finish
my shift, the people at Sony tend to deduct money
from my salary. – Deduct money.. Want to know a little secret?
– Yes. People who work in TV channels
can’t be trusted. – Okay.. Our show lasts for an hour
and a half, right? – Yes. Then they air the show
called ‘Crime Patrol’. Wow.. Whose idea..
– And when ‘Crime Patrol’ ends they air the show called
‘Superstar Singer’. – Yes. Poor Shilpa Shetty.. She worked
really hard on ‘Super Dancer’. She fetched great TRPs.
– Yes.. – They ended the show. Why.. – You see,
if they find a few good dancers they kick the singers out.. True.. – And if they find
a few good singers they kick the dancers out..
– The dancers.. Out.. This is how they are. But whatever it is..
– Yes? …they can never kick us out.
– Why? – Wow! Ask me why. – Why?
– Our show provides variety. Okay. – Okay.
– We have singers on our show. Okay.
– We have actors on our show. Okay. – Okay.
– We have dancers on our show. Okay. What are you?
You.. No..
I.. Our show is going to stay on-air
for quite some time. Yes.
– Had she gone to school she’d have uttered
some sensible stuff. – Yes.. Don’t talk about school.
– So what? I can do reading
and writing. Got it? What do you mean?
– Reading, writing.. That means, I’m literate.
You don’t know? Don’t ask me. Do you know?
I have a favourite book. Okay. – Which one?
– Okay.. I’ve brought it with me. Okay. – Oh, my..
– Have you read about it? Please tell us..
– A cheque book. Cheque.. What..
– Please sign it. Hey.. What the.. Oh..
– It says Rs. 1 crore on it. Rs. 1 crore. – I’m bound
to cheat people for that. Would anyone ever give me
that kind of money? His show is a hit.
It’s been running for years. Ask him. – You sign it, Kapil.
– Yes, he’s Mr. Banker. In our names.. – Okay..
– Rs. 1 crore as prize money. He’ll tear the cheque
before giving it to me. You know.. Instead,
I should’ve asked people for it. I’d have got Rs. 1 crore. I have a request for you.
– Yes? When Priyanka and Nick
have a cute baby.. – Yes.. …do let me know. I’ll go
to them to bless their baby. You see, even if Nick Jonas
throws pocket change at me it will be worth 1 crore
in American currency. – Yes.. Here’s what you can do.
Go rest for a few days. Go home.
– Of course I can go home but there are
many problems here. There’s a lot of confusion
on our set. – What is it? After pack up, when I sat
in the car the other day the driver took me
to Madh Island. He said, ‘Ms. Archana,
we’ve reached your house’. Ms. Archana.. I.. I explained him at length
that I wasn’t Archana. – Okay.. I told him that I wasn’t..
The problem is when we remove our make-up,
we tend to look alike. Well, that’s the problem. Yesterday, the driver
again took me to Madh Island. That’s where you live,
Ms. Archana. – Yes.. To heck with the driver.
– Okay.. Parmeet held me by the hand
and took me inside. Parmeet took me inside.
I told him I wasn’t Archana. He said that’s why
he brought me inside. That’s what he said. Yes.. I’ll be needing you
in Nala Sopara for two days.
– She’ll be needing him.. She’ll be needing him..
– What! You’ll be needing me? Yes.
– And why is that? You know what..
– Yes? The monsoons are here.
– Yes. So? I don’t even have an umbrella. Oh, dear..
– So, what can I do about it? Yes.. – They make
delicious Pakoras there. They’re quite costly.
– Costly! So..
– Please get my drift. ‘Please get my drift..’
– Then I’ll send you an umbrella and a cheque.
– Come, let’s go there and get a little busy.
– Hey.. Hey! Leave him be!
– Look.. We’ve been paired together.
– Yes. Okay.
Then I’ll give you a massage. What! – Yes..
– Why? I have my parlour here.
– Okay.. – Okay.. We offer different types
of massages here. – Okay. – Yes? We’ll offer you
a special massage called Kapoor and Son. What’s special about it? – Okay.
– What kind of massage is it? In this, the customer disrobes and we apply ‘karpoor’
or camphor on him, not oil. And where does the son
come into the picture? I’m coming to that.. Okay.. – Then the customer
gets angry and yells at us. Okay..
– Then I slap him really hard and the sound it makes
is ‘sunn’. ‘Karpoor’ and ‘Sunn’.. Pari, we offer one more
kind of massage. – Okay. ‘Aloo Paratha Massage.’
– Oh.. Okay.. – What’s that? ‘Aloo..’
– I’ll explain it to you. You need to understand it.
– Okay. – Okay. It’s very Punjabi in nature.
– Okay. – Okay. In Punjabi, ‘pra’ means friend.
– Yes. – Yes. Okay?
And ‘loo’ means toilet. Yes. – Yes..
– Correct? Then we keep the ‘pra’ ready.
We smear oil on him. Then we say.. ‘Aa loo mein, pra’
or ‘Come to the loo, friend’. And then we give him
‘tha-t’ massage. ‘Aa-loo-pra-tha..’ Very good. Superb.
– True.. ‘Aa-loo-pra-tha..’
– For your sister.. – Yes? For your sister, Priyanka..
I’m a fan of hers. – Okay. I can offer her
the Hollywood Massage. – Okay. Hollywood.. – What does it mean?
– What’s it like? In this, the customer disrobes,
we smear oil on him.. – Okay. …and then we make him lie down
on some wood. – Okay. Then we massage him
‘houle-houle’ or slowly, gently. This massage sounds great. We also offer
Bollywood Massage. – Okay. I bet you make the customer
lie on wood in this as well. What else could it be?
– You know everything. Why don’t you come there
to give people a massage? In this, we do make customers
lie on wood.. – Okay.. …but the twist is..
– Yes? Then we place that wood
on the road. Then we place a ‘boli’
or bet on it. Rs. 500.. ‘Boli-wood!’
– Oh, my.. Then the highest bidder ends up giving a massage
to that person. – Okay. Very good.. – Okay..
He gives that person a massage. Yes, that’s what it is.
So, I have to go now. I have to go clean Deepak’s
‘tijori’ or safe. – Oh.. Superb! A big hand for Pari
and Sidharth once! Please come.
– Superb. Now, it is time to
take a beautiful picture with our guests. Ms. Archana will be
clicking the picture. Wow! Such a nice picture. Thank you so much, Sidharth.
Thank you so much, Pari. Every time they
come on our show the show becomes so lively. I enjoyed talking
to you guys today. You had set such
a nice mood. Before leaving
let me tell you this. Pari is a good singer.
– Yes. So..

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