The Kapil Sharma Show – Season 2 – Ep 84 – Full Episode – 20th October, 2019
Yeah, bro! Welcome all of you.
Archana, it’s a festive season. Festivals are arriving
back to back. Had you got educated
and got a government job.. So? – You would be getting paid
for sitting at home. – I see! You’re still earning
while sitting even here. Everyone plays Garba
during ‘Navaratri’. At the venue where it’s hosted
the mosquitoes are confused. If you notice, mosquitoes never
bite you at Garba venues. They’re scared of being squashed
between two clapping hands. In such a situation.. Old grandma mosquitoes are
telling the younger ones.. ‘Do you know Archana?’ ‘Her hand is bigger
than Dharmendra’s hand.’ Beware of her hand.
She kills 25 mosquitoes at once. But those who play Garba
with Ms. Archana always watch out for their foot,
for she might trample them. The next day they may have to
play Garba like this.. Some boys are very clever.
When everyone’s playing fast.. And spin around.. These boys slow down on purpose. They wait to get paired
with the right girl. Then their wives elbow them
on the back when caught. Then they walk out of the venue
like this.. Sometimes, people are dancing
so good, in a rhythm. That’s when some men try
to sneak in from outside. People of all ages are crazy
about Garba. Young people dance in a group
with six girls. Even the old ones are there
with their crutches. They make gestures to
the first old lady in sight. People wear ethic dresses
during festivals. – Yes. They’re a must on festivals now.
They wore normal clothes before. Now their ethnic wear lies
in the closet all year. They take it out on festivals.
Specially Ganesh festival. When they wear it,
it’d be stinking of naphthalene. We often hear news like
a youngster fainted after playing Garba
for three years. It’s for a reason. First
is the stink of naphthalene and the sweat after dancing
gets mixed and smells like a Mongolian Pasta of sorts. That’s what makes them faint. Some women fast on ‘Navaratri’.
So, they do nothing all day. ‘I feel weak.’ They feign illness all day
with a scarf tied on their head. But in the evening
when it’s time for Garba they turn into Farah Khan.
Then they start off.. God knows where
they get their energy from. Farah Khan!
– Whereas daughters-in-law take advantage of the crowd to
get revenge on mothers-in-law. When playing Dandiya they notice
the mother-in-law’s new dress. They go dancing and whack
the mother-in-law’s rear. Then, they dance
like nothing happened. Oh, God! When the mother-in-law
comes home by evening the daughter-in-law
who has hit her says.. ‘What happened, Mother-in-law?’ ‘God knows which wretch hit me!’ The poor mother-in-law
starts swearing. ‘May her husband run away
with some other woman.’ The daughter-in-law replies.
– Okay. Can’t she break her husband’s
head if she can hit you? You shouldn’t abuse
anybody like this. Some people go to Garba
events to show their dress. Yes, you are right.
– To their friends. When the music is playing, they
forget the rhythm and do this. There will be a lot
of embroidery on the lehenga and the work cannot be seen
when it folds. So, they roam like this
on the ground intentionally. Guddu. Guddu. She will be roaming
for three hours. And she would have hidden
Guddu somewhere. Oh, God! – Trains are crowded
during the festive season. There’s no place
to step inside. Pandey, our drummer..
– Yes. He was travelling
by train once. He climbed,
but he couldn’t get out. When he got out,
his bag got stuck. And when he pulled the bag an old man’s dhoti
also came with it. And he.. He was asking the crowd
whose dhoti it is. Please collect it. The old man didn’t
come out. He was hiding. The ‘Dussehra’ fairs
are crowded. People take care
of their purses. Men cover their pants
while walking. – Yes. They become alert when
somebody walks close by. – Yes. These are the people who don’t
have anything in their pockets. They don’t have anything. – An old comb and their
late dad’s photo. Our Dinesh..
– Yes. He went to a ‘Dussehra’
fair with his mom. – Okay. He went to see
the well of death. He asked for two tickets. One full ticket for his mom
and a half ticket for himself. The man said,
why a half ticket for you when you have
a proper moustache? He then asked a full ticket for himself and a half
ticket for his mom because his mom
doesn’t have a moustache. You got to shoot in a fair.
Rs. 10 for three aims. – Yes. People opt for it.
He misses the first two. He knows that the third aim
won’t be successful either. He passes his time then. He’ll
click a photo with the gun. Hey, click a photo. He misses the third aim too. His wife will then taunt him
saying his aim is bad. He gets angry then. I got married to you
because my aim was bad. Otherwise, the girl standing
next to you was much prettier. Wives fast on the occasion
of ‘Karwa Chauth’. They expect a gift in return. Dinesh’s wife asked him
for a ring. – Okay. He went outside and kept ringing her
from his phone the whole day. When he came back home his wife hit him
with the rolling pin and made his forehead swell. But when Ms. Archana
asks for a ring her husband always
gives it to her. – Really? Because he knows
that she will ask for food if he doesn’t give the ring. And food her..
– It will cost him a lot. She eats starters
worth Rs. 2 lakhs. Some wives demand expensive gifts during
‘Karwa Chauth’. – Yes. Diamond ring
and other things. I think many husbands
have started fasting due to this reason
on ‘Karwa Chauth’ because they say
that both of us are fasting and the scores are equal.
– The scores are equal. Many wives apply henna
on ‘Karwa Chauth’ and write their husbands’
name on their palms. Roshanlal
or anything else. They don’t do any work
the entire day. They ask their husbands
to change the baby’s diaper. Your name is written
on my palm. It will get washed
if I wash my hands. The man thinks that she’s been
torturing him all these years. Festivals bring happiness. But some festivals
cause problems for some people. I don’t like ‘Holi’. You guys also
may enjoy festivals. But there may be
some problems too. So, I would like to know
what problems you face and what is the reason. You can tell me
your opinion. Yes, Ms. Ekta.
– Hello, Mr. Kapil. My name is Ekta. I have
come from Navi Mumbai. – Hello. Welcome, Ms. Ekta. I don’t like ‘Holi’.
– Why is that? I control my husband
the entire year. – Okay. But he becomes
out of control on ‘Holi’. He manages to drink
somehow. He stands in front of me
with colours in his hands. But he applies colour on
everyone else apart from me. To all my friends. Is he your husband?
– Yes. Greetings, sir.
How are you? Can’t a man get freedom
even for one day? You only mentioned that
you control him the entire year. What else does he do
after drinking? Kapil. He can see everyone else
apart from me. Why do you do this, sir?
What is the reason behind this? Mr. Kapil, when the rest
of the girls are dancing I become conscious
when I watch them. – Why? Because I feel shy.
– Okay. But I don’t feel shy
after I drink. I become normal.
– You become shameless. It’s not his fault.
He is innocent. You worry for no reason. – You shouldn’t be worried.
– Keep applying colours. Just don’t get caught
red-handed. Thank you very much
for coming on our show. Thank you, Mr. Kapil. – Thank
you so much. – Thank you. Does anybody else want to
state their opinion? – Yes. Hello, Kapil.
– Greetings, Ms. Mamta. Hello, Archana.
– Greetings. My name is Mamta. And I have come from
Himachal Pradesh which is the land of
the Lord. – Welcome to the show. You have come
from a beautiful place. I feel very proud
when you praise Himachal Pradesh in most of your episodes. Yes, I love that place.
– It is our Himachal Pradesh. Himachal Pradesh
is very beautiful. I am a retired teacher.
– Okay. And I met your mom
during the interval. – Okay. Your mom is a sober
and noble lady. That is why
you are intelligent and you are sober
and down to earth. Thank you.
Thank you so much. My mom is just like me. Let me tell you
something now. The rest of the festivals
are okay. – Okay. But I am very scared
of Diwali. – Why? Actually, my husband
is an advocate. – Okay. He loves money more
than his wife and kids. Oh, God! On the occasion of Diwali my husband kept his money
in front of the Goddess at the time
of the veneration. – I see. And there was a lamp too as we light a lamp
in front of the Goddess on the occasion of Diwali.
– Yes. He himself lit the lamp and went outside
to burst crackers. – I see. The sound of the crackers
created vibration and the lamp fell down.
– What about the money? Those caught fire.
By the time.. What happened next? Half of the currency notes
got burned completely by the time he came inside.
– I see. And he vented his anger on me. – Oh! I get really terrified
during Diwali since then. God knows what will
make him angry and he will vent his anger
on me. It happened once. Ma’am, it’s really nice
talking to you. Thank you very much
for coming here. Okay.
Thank you, sir. Thank you.
Any other friend.. Yes, ma’am. Hello, Mr. Kapil.
– Hello. Hello, Ms. Archana.
– Hello. My name is Meera.
I like all the festivals. But I don’t like ‘Karwa Chauth’. I have problem with that.
– Why? Sir, I observe fast
throughout the day. I don’t take food and water.
– Yes. I have been married
for 25 years. But my husband doesn’t
give any gift. He gave me only two gifts
in 25 years. That’s it!
What did he present you? He gifted me a ring.
– Just one ring! Yes.
– That’s it! What about the other gift?
– It was a small gift. I see.
Is he present here with you? Yes, he is here.
– Greetings. I.. – Sir, I want him to
observe fast for me at least. Sir..
– It depends on an individual. I observe fast
for his long life. What will happen to me? You observe fast
for him every year. So that he becomes immortal. Everyone else will die. But he will roam
in this world alone. No, sir.
No way! No, sir.
– Yes? No, I want to be with him. You want to be with him?
– Yes. You won’t let him live his life.
– No. How many kids do you have?
– Two. You have two kids.
– Yes. Your wife is right.
You gave her only two gifts. Yes, sir.
I gave her only two gifts. I got only two chances. What do you mean?
– We have two kids. Sir, he can observe
fast for me, right? He can express
his love for me, right? You answer your wife.
What would I say? Why don’t you observe fast
for your wife? Observe fast with your wife. Yes, sir.
I can observe fast. But I get so hungry.
I can’t bear hunger. Even she gets hungry. Sir, she stays at home. God knows whether
she observes fast or eats something.. No, sir. I don’t even drink water. He is doubting your
love for him.. I don’t even drink water.
He is lying. Do one thing.
Both of you, go to a corner. Tear his clothes. Thank you, ma’am. You are an adorable couple. Thank you. Any other friend.. Yes, sir. Hi, Mr. Kapil.
– Hello. Hello, ma’am.
– Hello. I like all the festivals.
– I see. Especially..
As ma’am said ‘Karva Chauth’.. I have a little problem
with this festival. What problem do you have? Why?
Are you married? Yes, by mistake. Is your wife present here?
– No. That’s why I am able
to say this. Wow! Why do you have problem?
She observes fast for you. Yes, that’s my problem. What do you want? Do you want her to observe
fast for someone else? No, sir.
– Yes? She observes fast for me, okay?
– Yes. She expects that I will be her
husband for next seven lives. I see.
– Okay? – Yes. It’s her decision.
– Yes. – What about my decision? How many years
have you been married? Ten years have passed
just like that. How many kids do you have?
– One. Just like that. It didn’t happen
just like that. Anyway,
many congratulations to you. You are very funny.
– Thank you. If you chat with your wife,
she will.. But it’s difficult for us
to make our wives laugh. Who else will make your
wife laugh better than you? You make entire India laugh. So Ginni laughs as well. Only on TV.
Only for 1.5 hours. Not after that. You will take it for granted
if she gives you more attention. Husbands are like that.
That’s why she doesn’t laugh. People like her create
problems in others’ families. Anyway, thank you very much. Any other friend.. Yes, ma’am.
– Hello. Hello, Mr. Kapil.
– Hello. I am a big fan of yours.
– Thank you. Where have you come from?
– I am from Tripura. You are from Tripura!
– Yes. I never been there.
But I have heard about Tripura. My name is Chitra Devi.
Ever since I’ve seen you I have become such a big
fan of you that I have written a song
for you. – How sweet! Thank you. So I want to sing for you.
– Please. Sing, please. “Come close..
Come close to me.” “Stay in my heart.” “Come close..
Come close to me.” “Stay in my heart.” Wow!
– Wow! “No matter where you are,
no matter how you are” “I am yours.” Amazing! Wow! You’ve such a good voice,
Ms. Chitra Devi. Did you write this song?
– Yes. Wow, very nice!
Very beautiful composition. The whole Tripura is your fan.
– Thank you. I watch all your shows.
– Thank you. Whenever I’m upset,
I watch your show. Seeing you makes me happy.
– Thank you. I get so happy.
– Who upsets you? Leave the one who upsets you. Yes. Just focus on me. Thank you..
Thank you, Ms. Chitra Devi for coming to the show.
– Thank you. Anyone else?
Yes, sir? Greetings, Mr. Kapil.
– Greetings. Both of us have come from Delhi.
– Welcome. Festivals are very good.
But we want to tell the people who watch your show
about a new tradition. Okay.
– We want to show you and give you a few things.
– Sure, sir, come. Greetings, sir. This is a nest
which we make with jute. Okay..
– We’ve made more than one lakh nests and have taught
more than 2.5 lakh kids. Wow!
– Its name is there in Limca Book.
– Amazing! And internationally..
It has received award in London. And it is also mentioned a lot
in education course books. Oh, wow.
– And this.. The rag-picker kids..
They collect tetra-packs for us.
– Okay. With those packets we make this. This is 100 per cent recycled.
– Beautiful, sir! Very good. A kid from Chandigarh
has sent this painting especially for you.
– It’s very beautiful. From this stage,
we want you to announce that people should save water.
We work towards saving water. We hope that after having
come on your show we’ll be able to approach
at least 20 lakh kids. You’re doing such
beautiful work, sir. Put this nest in your house,
you’ll quickly be rid of life’s negativity.
– Wonderful. What would putting this nest
in my house do? It’ll automatically adopt it.
– Okay. And then make a house inside it.
And if stays well it’ll lay eggs inside it at
least two or three times a year. Oh, that’s so sweet!
– Wow. You’re doing such beautiful
and kind work, sir. Thank you so much. The three people who
started this huge project are Monika, Ranika and Anivesh.
Give them a thumbs up. Monika, Ranika.. And?
– Anivesh. Anivesh.. Thank you very much.
You’re doing such beautiful work.
And may God give you strength to keep doing such
beautiful work. Do save water, sir.
– Yes. Mr. Deepak Jain has found
a very effective solution. Okay.
– The faucet you use in wash basins.. They normally
have a free flow of water. Okay. – Which wastes
97 per cent water. – Right. There are nozzles
which only do sprinkling. Yes, I have had it installed.
I ordered these online. They save 97 per cent water.
– Yes. So if we save water like this,
we can save millions of litres of water.
– Amazing, sir! Thank you. – Sir,
thank you so much for coming. You taught us such wonderful
things and you’re doing such wonderful work.
I’m sure many people will get inspired by you
to save water. And they’ll follow you
in this beautiful work you’re doing for birds.
I’ll start with my house, sir. God bless you.
– Thank you, sir, thank you.. Ms. Archana, have you received
any invitation for Garba? Socialise a little.
– Why? People will invite you then.
I’ve been invited. I’m leaving.
You find your own thing. Thank you, guys. Yes! Ms. Archana, you know
how big the star cast of ‘Housefull 4’ is.
I mean, you can’t fit them in a single episode.
I think if this cast went to a theatre,
it’d become houseful. Yesterday we had a lot of fun
with all the male stars of ‘Housefull 4’. We’ll have a fun time
with them today as well but first I’ll invite the person
without whom this movie wouldn’t have been possible. Because the movie doesn’t start
until they don’t sign a cheque. I’m talking about ‘Housefull’
series’ producer. Amidst a big round of applause,
please welcome writer, director
and one of the biggest producer of Bollywood,
Mr. Sajid Nadiadwala! Welcome, Mr. Sajid.
– Thank you. The film ‘Houseful 4’
is releasing this Diwali. And I’m sure it’s going
to be a super hit. Mr. Sajid, did you notice, we
are houseful today? Yes, I know.
– Look at the huge audience. Sir, a number of actors
have debuted on your films how do you feel making a debut
on our show? Well, you may know this but there’s a story
between me and Archana. When I became a producer..
– Right. She debuted in the very first
movie that I produced. Right.
– My first directorial, ‘Kick’.. I was in the cast.
– She was part of the cast. And now, in my stage debut,
she’s a part of this as well. Wow! Do you see, Kapil? I learn more and more
every time. How many movies have you
acted in, Ms. Archana? Sir, from the past
three generations we’ve been hearing the name
Nadiadwala. I believe, since 1955..
– Yes, around 1958. Your family has been
associated with Bollywood. As old as independent India.
– Wow. That’s how far back
the Nadiadwala family began contributing
to our film industry. Sir, can you tell us the number
of films your family has made? My family and I have made
more than 100 movies. Oh, that’s amazing.
– Wow! How many have you made, sir?
– Around 35 films. Yes, maybe 35 or 34 films. I think so.
– So, 34 to 35. Mr. Sajid’s ratio
is similar to Virat Kohli. 34 out of 35 films
are hits and the one remaining,
he thinks it’s an average film but actually, it’s still better
than most films. That’s a huge achievement, sir. Now, coming to the point when a person has acquired
so much wealth does he get up on his
own time or even he is woken up
by Akshay Kumar? It’s unfortunate that we live
in the same building. Oh, in the same apartment?
– Yes. The thing is, I don’t have a
problem in getting up at 4 a.m. the problem is, once the day
ends at 8 p.m.. Yes, I guess he leave
for the other shift. Yes, but then my other hero Salman, keeps me up
till 5 a.m. Oh! Actually, tell us about the time
you got Salman and Akshay to share
the screen for the first time. Well,
those films were a big hit.. Right.
– But when we were shooting Salman used to keep me up
till 4.30 a.m. and then Akshay would take me for jogging
at 5.30 a.m. So, how did you manage?
When did you sleep? In the 15 minutes, between
4.30 and 4.45 a.m. Wow, it’s hard work
being a producer. Oh, you’re still up? Yes, I was listening
to him talk about me and I thought I’d
join in. We were just talking.
– Yes. I was telling Mr. Sajid that
we should visit Bhutan sometime. Now, Mr. Sajid’s movies
are always grand and high budget ones. Very grandeur. He displays poverty
in a grandiose way too. I agree.
– Yes. A poor man in his film
would step out of a car, going No film of his cost below
Rs. 200 to Rs. 250 crores. They have such huge budgets that no small time writer
would approach him. Why?
– Why? They think you’d never make
a Rs. 10-15 crore movie. No, I have..
– You see our writer here? He went to his office
and just looking at it he rolled his script
and shoved it in to his pocket saying, ‘he’ll never make it’. Mr. Sajid, have you ever made
a Rs. 10 crore film? Yes, the movie ‘Highway’. Was it made with Rs. 10 crore?
– Rs. 9 crore. Oh, with Rs. 9 crore?
Wow! Do you know we studied
in the same school? I didn’t know that either.
I mean I thought..
– We were school buddies. I thought you were
together with Salman? No.
We were in the same school and we read the same books..
– Right. But his 4 a.m. routine.. He couldn’t read that.
– No, I couldn’t. He comes up
at 4 or 5 in the morning after jogging and knocks on
my door and then runs. – Oh. So, this habit is.. But Akshay really
loved school. Right.
– I never wanted to leave. He was a year my junior.
– Right. When I completed high school, he
was three years my junior. Then I attended college,
I graduated and he was still in school. He simply loves school. I bet he studied real hard
at first. But then thought ‘what’s there to achieve
if I pass early’. What’s your qualification? I have done PG diploma
in commercial arts. What? What diplomat
are you talking about? No, it’s no ‘diplomat’,
it’s.. Don’t talk none-sense.
You’re talking rubbish. – Okay. So, anything thoughts
on my English? My English is as good as you. Mr. Sajid is also known as
the ‘king maker’ in Bollywood. He has launched
many new actors in Bollywood. Now, the ‘Houseful’ cast is also an amazing one,
who you’ve seen. And you also
met them yesterday. Now, we haven’t had the chance
to meet the female cast.. All right.
Should I leave now? What?
– Call the female stars. I’ll leave.
– No. Seems like you’re only
interested in talking to them. No, it’s not that.
– Am I below your status? No, it’s nothing like that. You’re free to go
by the way. Well, I’m about to. No, buddy, I’m kidding. I could leave
if you say so. You’re the one who keeps
the show running. When we approach a channel
for the contract the first thing
they want to know is how many times Akshay Kumar
will come on the show. And I tell them, ‘he’ll show up
on the show more than me’. You see, our livelihood
is very much dependent on you. You’re not going anywhere.
It’s now time to introduce the three
glamorous heroines of the film. So, with a huge applause,
please welcome the beautiful
and talented actresses Kriti Sanon, Pooja Hegde
and Kriti Kharbanda. A hardy welcome to you three. Thank you.
You’re looking lovely. Thank you.
– Thank you. When you’re standing next
to such beautiful girls a man is happy
even during recession. Your film also had
three heroines. Yes.
And they never came again. Why?
– He married after that. Kriti, Pooja and Kriti! You’re working
with Mr. Akshay Kumar. Sajid Nadiadwala
is the producer. It’s such a big movie. You’ve been shooting
at royal locations. How do you feel
after meeting me? I feel very rich. Your set is great.
– You’re feeling rich after meeting me.
– Have you seen the set? This belongs to the channel
and not us. Then let it be, I’m not happy
to meet you. Because on the set.. We used to come to set
off the movie ‘Housefull’. Today, we are here for you.
So you think of it. Oh, my God!
This was a great line. Very good! – Think of it.
– He’s very happy. Kapil is happy. – Add
some extra shots for Pooja. I welcome you! Look at our
new couch. – Wow! All three of you can sit
on the smaller couch too. Together..
– That’s how small you are. Mr. Sajid,
we heard that this movie was supposed to be
made in 90 days. Yes! – Mr. Akshay always
finishes things fast. He will make us finish two
episodes by 12 o’clock. They say the movie finished
in 65 days. Yes!
– What did you do with the money that was left
for the remaining days? Did you put it back
in your pocket or did you give
it to Mr. Akshay? No, he’s a good accountant.
Nothing’s left for the producer. He works very hard to make sure
the producer gets no money. Okay! – He’s very sincere
at his job. Sir, the money that’s left
for 25 days.. – Yes! People like us can make
three movies. So shall I send my writer to you
tomorrow? Mr. Sajid, we also heard
that you and Mr. Salman Khan had promised not to get married. But you got married
and Mr. Salman didn’t. Why so? Both of us promised
to be single. – Yes! This happened in 1999.
– Is this true? Yes.. He got an attack
in 1999. He wanted to get married.
– Okay! He got an attack.
– Yes, he got an attack. He had a woman. I had to find one.
– Okay! I went and told my mother
and my grandma to find a woman because I want to get married. His father Mr. Salim got married
on 18th of November. So we decided to get married
on the same date. Okay!
– Were you there? So we decided to get married. We distributed the cards.
There were around 25 people. Okay! – Five days
or six days before the wedding he said he’s not in mood
to get married. Oh! Mr. Salman said this. He changed his mind.
– Yes! He came for the wedding and
when I was standing on the stage he told me that
the car’s parked behind.. He told you to run away.
– He told me to run away. But you couldn’t escape. We have a picture.
We’ll show you. Your wife’s standing
right next to you. When I was on the
stage he told me that the car is parked outside and I should just jump out. He turned and congratulated
my wife. Kapil, if someone would tell you
would you leave? I got married with
great difficulty so why would I run away. This is just the beginning.
We’ll see what you have to say after 15 years. Mr. Sajid is a producer. His films are all
up for release. He has so many places to visit. Thank you so much
for coming here, Mr. Sajid. It’s my pleasure.
– I felt great to meet you. I’ll send my writer to you.
They are not expensive movies. I’ll take your leave.
Goodbye! Come on! You’re going to drop him. It’s good that Mr. Akshay
has left. Please sit down. Oh! – Okay!
– What would you like to have? Mr. Akshay left and you have
started your new accent. He’s just jealous of me. That’s why he left.
– So don’t speak much English in front of him.
– Yes! He’s checking behind..
– He’s only looking behind. He’s a good man.
But he’s jealous. Okay! I actually had a desire..
– What is it? The way I had three actresses
in my movie I wanted to make a film where
I am a king.. – Okay! I should have three queens.
– Yes! Someone should feed me grapes,
someone will fan me. That’s what I thought.
– Would you like to eat grapes? Please tell me. – Ask us
with love, we’ll do it for you. Today, we’ll give you.. Please keep a check.
– Okay, I’ll do that. I hope he doesn’t come. Yes, sit like that.
Spread-out hands.. Come on, let us begin. Would you like to have apples? The fan is here.
– Yes! Thank you! Your Majesty, please sit
on your throne. Come on, your majesty.
Are you ready? My queens..
– You.. My queen, you should have
washed the grapes. You.. My Queen, you’re acting as if
you’re playing with a puppy. What is she doing?
She’s not having any feeling. You should be with.. – You need
to be romantic with us but you’re ordering us. It was his idea that..
– I actually feel like a slave. I don’t feel like a queen.
– Yes.. We’re not slaves.
We are queens. They’ve arrived. Sorry.. Hey..
– Hey.. He didn’t purposefully.. ‘Mamma Mia!’
– ‘Mamma Mia!’ Look at him.
– My entry.. What are you doing there?
– He is stuck there. How do I come down? Use the stairs.
– We’ll catch you.. – Jump.. We’ll catch you.
Jump.. – Jump.. One, two, three. I’ll come down. This is cheating..
Not fair. They made me stand on top.
Akshay.. Why only you entered
from top, Mr. Chunky? Akshay sent me there.
– What did he say? He said that all of them
are going to enter from top. So, I went on top. Mamma Mia.. By the way, what are you all
doing over here? He wanted
to become a prince. And he wanted
three princesses to take care of him.
– Why did you make them do that? She is lying.
I asked them whether they’ll have coffee or tea. She was telling me
that she has never fed grapes to a handsome guy.
– No.. tell me one thing. He is the same
Akshay who you said is jealous of you, right?
– Yes. He is the same Akshay, right?
– He was speaking ill about you. You think I would
say such a thing? He said some Akshay
is jealous of him. Jealous? – Yes.. – Yes.
– I am jealous of him? The moment you left.. You really think I
would say such a thing? He was talking in English. No.. No..
– Where is your English? Where is your English..
– Yes.. – Where is the accent? What are you
talking about? I mean, Mr. Akshay.. – English is English.
– It’s been fourteen years since I have spoken English. Okay. I haven’t done anything,
sir. They are just
making up things. Oh really? Ms. Archana,
you know him since a long time. You have worked
on many shows with him. What’s the matter? He wasn’t
like this before. Kapil has changed. Has he really changed? – Yes,
he wasn’t like this before. He wasn’t like this before?
– Back then, he was a sweet and innocent boy
who had come from Punjab. Mumbai has spoiled him. So what if I’m Punjab, I can’t
fall in love with anyone? With so many people at once? So what?
I’m doing a good thing. With so many girls..
– I’m just sharing love. I’m spreading love.
I’m not spreading hate, right? Wow, what a dialogue! You only told
me that sometimes healthy flirting is good. When did I say that? You told me.. When did I
tell you.. – When? Two years ago,
Huma Qureshi was also there. You told me to flirt. I became serious. I didn’t know that was
only till the episode got over. After that she said
I’ll talk to you later and left. In front of you she doesn’t say
anything and then later refuses. You agreed
this thing that Akshay said. He says get up
at 4 am and exercise all that you
want agree, right? When is the release date
of the move ‘Houseful 4’? Let’s change the topic. All right,
I’ll ask you a question. You have worked
with all four of them. All of them are married You have even worked
with actors who are yet married. So, when there
is a romantic scene. Do bachelor guys
do the scene better or married guys
do the scene better? The ones who have a good
breath, they do it better. What?
– What did she say? The person who has.. I mean..
– She means to say breath. Breath..
– Okay. Oh.. The guys
whose breath doesn’t smell. So you mean to
say, a guy doesn’t have to do anything extra. He just has
to brush on time. In the movie ‘Houseful 4’. There are lot of talks
about reincarnation. Sir, what do you think
you were in your last life? Me in my previous life.. I think.. – I think you
must’ve been a horse. Horse..
– It could be possible. Always energetic,
he never gets tired. You know that
a horse always stands. It never sits down.
– In this age. In this life.. I eat a lot of chickpeas. Yes. You know, I think the amount
of discipline he has. That is very difficult to attain in one life time.
We all try so.. I think he was Akshay Kumar
in his last life too. It is not easy. What were you? I don’t think
I had a previous life. This is your first time. By giving me life
this time, God must be thinking I haven’t
made anything great. We’ll deal with it.
Mr. Riteish, who do you think you were in
your previous life? I didn’t have
a previous life. This is the previous life
of my next life. What? You have calculated properly
and then gave me an answer. This means,
you’re good at math. But the main thing
is what would you like to be
in your next life? Yes..
– Yes.. If you get an opportunity what would you like to be
in your next life? Akshay Kumar. I don’t want to become
Akshay Kumar. Mr. Akshay,
if given a chance what would you like
to be in your next life? I would love
to be in armed forces. Superb..
– Amazing. That would be amazing. Mr. Bobby,
if given a chance what would you like to be
in your next life? I would like
to be Bobby Deol. You tell us as to what
would you like to be In your next life?
– Me? You want me to be honest? Yes.
– My life is going good. I would like to be this
in my next life too. He is very modest. I just have work 2 days
in a week, the rest is amazing. Yes. – Four days..
Yet I can’t wake up at 4 am. I would like to know
from the audience. Do you ever.. It is because when
a person has free time. It is obvious that
we don’t work the entire day. So sometimes a person
tends to think as to what they were in
their previous life. So, what do you think
you were in your previous life and why do you feel so? Yes, ma’am. Hello, everyone. Hello. My name is Karuna Jain
and I live in Delhi. I’m a huge fan
of the whole team. I used to feel that I
lived in a beautiful palace in my previous life.
I was a beautiful queen. It is because even
we are three sisters. And looking at the three
of you, I feel that it is true. So, basically we are playing
the role of your character. Yes.- Indeed.
– It is your movie.. But you’re beautiful
in this life too. Thank you so much,
thank you. And I can connect
more to Mr. Akshay because every time
I went to a palace. I used to feel that
everything there belongs to me. And there is a prince
or a king who.. When I saw him for
the first time on the screen. I was like he has
that same face. He might be my prince
or king in my previous life. And.. Togetherness
for many births. Look at the coincidence. I am married to a
man named Rajeev. – Oh, my God! And he resembled you a lot
back then. I fell in love with him the moment I received
his proposal. Has Mr. Rajeev
come with you? Yes.
– Where is he? Yes, they look alike.
– They look alike. Yes, he looks like Akshay. He looks exactly
like Akshay. Looks like you. So, my choice
was not wrong. He was good looking too. By God’s grace, he tolerates
my tantrums too. His smile is just like Akshay’s.
– I still feel like a princess. That’s great. But that’s great. So, you have
too many demands. You make Mr. Rajeev
spend a lot. That is why he earns. Well said.
– Wow! That was honest.
– Nice. What will you do
with the bank balance if the ladies don’t spend
and dress well? Exactly! – It will
only keep increasing. And that is why we spend. What will the gents
do? They wear some clothes. We wear jewellery so
that.. – No, not some clothes. We’ll dress completely. We won’t wear half clothes. That’s not necessary. They
can spend on other ladies too. I mean.. Don’t give them any chance
to go to other ladies. Wow! Empty all the money
before that. Mr. Rajeev, what do you
have to say about this? Mr. Kapil, I have
only my wife and two daughters
in my life. – Okay. I work for the government
during the day. So, I am busy 24×7. I work for the government and
serve the people during the day. After that, I serve
my wife and kids. That’s all. Well said.
– Amazing. Mr. Rajeev, you said
such amazing things. I want to see
your Aadhaar Card. Where do you stay? I want to verify whether
such people exist too. You work for the government
during the day and take care of your wife
and kids at night. Well done, Mr. Rajeev.
– Thank you. Thank you. I would break a coconut
at your feet if you wouldn’t be
sitting there. Thank you very much
for coming on our show. Anybody else? Yes, Ms. Anshika. Hello, everyone. – Hello.
– My name is Anshika Maru. Anshika?
– Hi. – Maru. – Whom? No.
My surname is Maru. Okay.
– I study in 11th standard. Okay. – And I’m second
Dan black belt in marital arts. Wow! Didn’t you go
to school today? I didn’t go to school
when I got to know that Mr. Akshay is
coming here today. – So cute. That is why we shouldn’t
shoot in the morning. She had to go to school. Amazing!
– Well done. What would you like to say? What
were you in your previous birth? I must have been a bull
in my previous birth because my anger
is like a bull’s anger. Okay. – When I get
angry, my parents tell me bull, keep quiet. Bull?
– Yes. They call me a bull. Why have you worn
a red shirt? To control your anger? I have been an
international player in karate. I went to Bangkok in 2012
for an international tournament. Wow! – My dad’s financial condition was not
good back then. But I won a gold medal
internationally with mom and his support. So proud of you. Congratulations.
– Thank you. My parents
are sitting there. Where are they?
– There. Hello, sir.
Congratulations. You have a sweet
and talented daughter. Congratulations. All of you
have worn red. Are red clothes available
at a cheaper price for you? We choose the colour
red today. Okay, who decides this? You or your mom?
– Mom decides it. That is why I didn’t mention
about your dad. What would you like
to become in your next birth? Martial art trainer. You are a trainer
in this birth too. – Yes. You can become that
in this birth too. I want to do a confectionary
course in this birth. And you want to make
biscuits in your next birth. No.
– Yes. I want to become a martial
art trainer in my next birth. What will happen
to the confectionary course that you will do
in this birth? It will be completed
in this birth itself and I will become
a martial art trainer in my next birth.
– Okay. There are seven karate
black belts there. Oh, wow!
– Behind.. Have all of you
come together? – Oh, wow! No. – I welcome
all of you to the show. One, two, three, four,
five, six, six and a half. There’s a small girl. Where have you come from? I am
Rachna Chaurasia Rajendra. I am a seventh degree
black belt in taekwondo. And I am the first female
of the South Asian country. That’s amazing.
– Wow! Congratulations, Ms. Rachna. And I request you that I want to perform
something for a minute. Please come.
Nobody will stop you. Thank you.
Let’s go. Mr. Akshay,
how was our performance? It was great!
Your performance was great! Both of you did it so well.
Are your knees all right? Yes, sir. What about you, ma’am? Today, I was
looking only at you. Yes.. – Thank you. – Superb! Good..
– Today, for the first time Kapil rose from his seat
and went there to watch you. Yes.. Too much gorgeousness..
– And I was looking at you, sir. Thank you, sir.
– It is Mr. Akshay’s greatness. But do you know
what he was telling me? He wanted to beat you up. How dare you dance to his song
in front of him! Should I have danced
to Madonna’s song for him? What are you even saying?
He is Akshay Kumar. He doesn’t care
about promoting a film. He is a big star.
He comes here to see us dance. Why did you have to wake
them up early in the morning? They have lost their senses.
– So what? He looks like a drenched frog.
Are you here to see him dance? A drenched frog! It seems
like someone is jealous. Such faces.. I can’t bear
to see them in the evening. You have called them here
early in the morning. Wait a minute. It’s possible
that you can’t bear your friend. Sir.. – Yes?
– Boys stand in a queue early in the morning
to see me. That queue isn’t to see you.
She is the receptionist at the public toilet.
– What! What? – Do you work
at a public toilet? Look at who is saying this!
He fills water in the same toilet.
As if you are.. Mr. Riteish and Mr. Bobby..
Please tell me the truth. After seeing my performance,
didn’t you think that you should have done
one song with me in the film? As if you are a great dancer
that they would dance with you! Why would they?
– I thought I should act in a film with her.
– Oh.. – Oh, wow! When your scene comes on screen,
a disclaimer is displayed by the channel
saying that tobacco and this girl,
both are injurious to health. Is this how you speak?
– Wait a minute. My beauty is so intoxicating
that it inebriates anyone who sees me.
What can I do about it? I agree. Do you ignore it
or you do not feel the insult? I have realised
that I made a mistake by entering here
as your dance partner. I mean.. Along with you,
even I am being insulted. Are you being
insulted with me? – Yes. So, am I going
to be rewarded later? I don’t think
you deserve any reward. Hey, insignificant being. Did you see yourself dance? It seemed
as if a wind-up toy was dancing. Hey!
Were you dancing like a pro? You were dancing
like a snake! I did it because your face
reminded me of a snake charmer’s flute. If I had danced alone, I would
have set the water on fire. Really?
Will you set the water on fire just because you look
like a lighter? What does my face seem
that everyone changes it as they wish? Heck with that! You couldn’t even do
a couple of steps! I was in water!
That’s all I could do. Just a second. Learn from Bobby. He worked for a film ‘Barsaat’
and you couldn’t even dance! Bobby.. Don’t worry, you two. We didn’t think it was a dance. It seemed like a plumber
repairing a leaking pipe. Kappu Sharma, I’ll accept
the insult of a plumber. Don’t you dare say anything
to my future wife. Hey! Don’t you dare! I’d rather be a faucet
than be your wife. But seriously,
Pooja, Kriti, Kriti.. You’re so fortunate
that you got guys like Riteish, Akshay and Bobby. And I’m so darned unlucky. As if I got
a beauty to work with! Buri, compare them to you. You’ll 15
of you to make one Kriti. Why are you miscalculating? If you want one Kriti,
such a girl shouldn’t even be in the equation! So many.. – Just a second! All right, I’ll admit
15 of me will make one Kriti Sanon. But even 20 of him will make
only half of Chunky. Half of Chunky. You can insult me but I won’t
stand you insulting Chunky. Oh, you seem to like him a lot. It’s not like that,
he gave me Rs. 150.. He asked me to say
nice things about him. He gave you money?
Let me have a look. He gave me two
bills of Rs. 75. Give that back to me.
– He fooled you! Denomination
for Rs. 75 doesn’t exist! Rs. 75.. You cheated me, Chunky. I was joking! I don’t want to work
in this industry. Bobby, please make a request
to your father and get me a job in his farm house. All right..
– Why’d he hire you? They’ve got horses, good horses. Kappu, tell the skies
to get higher to witness my flight. Akshay, can you arrange
a bed and blanket for him? Think big, Kappu..
– All right, a double bed then. Just a second! Why are you talking
about middle class stuff? Keep quiet.
Chunky, tell me, how’s Ananya? Is she all right?
She’s new to the industry. I have some.. If you’d like, I could
give her some guidance. Of course.
– How can you guide her, Buri? Think about it. If you get such lines,
you should know something bad will happen
to you in the next line. Guide Ananya.. She debuted
with ‘Student of the Year 2’ and you clean ears
of students for Rs. 10. There’s no connection. Clean ear..
– You seem to know a lot. She debuted with Tiger Shroff. And you with this guy. Is it compulsory
for me to get insulted when she does? Buri, listen to me. I’m your Tiger
and everything else. See how cute I am. Kriti, don’t I seem cute? No. Kriti, please dance
with me and shut him up. Come on, now, get out. Behave respectfully! What would my friend
circle think of me! Friend circle.. These guys? Yes, they’re my friends. Just a second.. Akshay is from Punjab. Bobby’s from Punjab. I’m also from Punjab. He makes friends
with anyone from Punjab with just Rs. 10 on them. You should be
ashamed of yourself! No, it’s not like that.
Riteish is my Marathi brother. He’s my friend too. Chunky too. Do you know Marathi? Yes.. – Say a Marathi line. Only for women.. Akshay, we don’t have
any other girl in the show so I have to propose
her again and again. Please try to understand
the problem. Riteish Deshmukh, Akshay Kumar,
Bobby Deol, Chunky Pandey. They’re here but I still
have to talk to you. Think how bad is that for me? You two, take your problems
and get lost. We’ll leave. Just let me say something
important. – What? Akshay, there are three male
and three female protagonists in ‘Houseful 4’. Please talk to Sajid
and arrange four male and female protagonists
in ‘Houseful 5’. It was fine to ask
baksheesh for Diwali. Now you guys
are asking for roles! Don’t try to be too frank
with the guests. Every time I come
with him, I lose my value. As if gain lots of it! Shut up! I’ll never come up
on the stage with you again. I’ll work by myself, normally. Before I really freeze
to death, congratulations for ‘Houseful 4’.
– Thank you.. I’ll meet you guys
outside later. You’ll only meet their
aides outside, not them. Shut up! Listen to me..
– Shut up! She’s mad at me.
I’ll try to pacify her. Please.. Congratulations.. Don’t fall..
– Buri.. Put your hands together! This show got an award! I’ll inform you, we got
all the television awards. We got an award
and our house is houseful. Give a big hand
to all the superstars! I’d like to thank my parents. Teacher.. And.. To heck with English. What was I.. This award.. I’d like
to share it with Akshay. Akshay..
– Why? It’s because he’s
been on the show for 25 out of 80 episodes. No other actor can deliver
the content Akshay does on TV. Give him a big hand. It used to more fun
when Akshay came before.. It’s still fun
but to wake up at 4 a.m… We have a lot of problem here.. You wake up
but we couldn’t sleep.. I have more problems, you know. It takes me two hours
to transform into a woman from a man
after coming to the set. Forget about me, she takes
four hours to transform into a woman from a woman! Kappu, have you noticed
something? – What? It’s ‘Houseful 4. – Yes. Seven have come here.
– So what? What if two more had come?
– What of it? They’d have been nine.
Can’t you count? It seems so nice. It doesn’t look like
they’re here for promotion. It looks like a marriage
procession, right? Chunky Pandey is like an in-law. Her an in-law too. Please come with me. – No..
– Don’t you want to come? Where to?
– Just come with me. You mean, you are going
to make an entry with him? No.
I’ll drop him outside. What’s he going to do here
among them? No, honestly.. I’m being honest about him.
Artistes like me.. – Yes. I want to tell you all.
In order to get work in movies artistes like me will have
to plead.. Have to beg people. Will have to look down when
we stand in front of people. He’s the first artiste who
showed ‘Aankhen’ and got work in movies. I wish to say this from
the bottom of my heart, sir. Give Mr. Chunky Pandey
a big feast. Feast? It’s not feast, it’s ‘big hand’. He wants a feast,
not a big hand. I’m hungry. – It’s
not like that. We keep having fun. I am being honest.
To work for so many years in the film industry.. To survive here..
To be in the news without any controversies.. And to stay as a star
like the pillar.. It’s not a small thing. A big hand for Mr. Akshay Kumar
please. Sir, why are you standing?
Please be seated. You’ve been standing
since a long time. Sapna..
– I am getting tense. Don’t you have sense? Mr.
Chunky is very senior to you. Yes, he is..
Really, sir, I.. I.. I’ve been watching him
since my childhood days. Mr. Akshay, when his ‘Aankhen’
had got released I’d got my teeth. Amazing!
Let me speak to the heroines. Hi.
– Hi. Tell me.
– Pooja Hegde. Are you Pooja Hegde
from ‘Mohenjo Daro’? – Yes. I am Sapna from
the mountains of Nalasopara. Hi, Kriti. – Kriti..
– Kriti, how are you? I am fine.
– Let me ask you. How are you? I am fine.
– You are fine? Let me ask you.
You are fine, right? – Yes. Is everything fine?
– Everything’s fine. Let me ask you. It’s
very confusing. Both are Kritis. I suggest that you take
my ‘hello’ and share it. Fine.
We’ll share it equally. You are Kriti Kharbanda, right?
– Right. This is something strange! A guy is dressed
as a girl here and this girl has
such an imposing surname. Wow! We’ve introduced this kind
of word play in the market from our show. It’s not very humorous.
But the hard work is nil because.. Because our show
is doing very well. So we’ve become a little lazy. Mr. Bobby, how are you?
– I am fine. Mr. Bobby is an amazing guy! Give him a big hand please.
– Amazing.. Normally, the clouds appear
first followed by the rain. His case is reverse. His movie ‘Barsaat’ was followed
by his movie ‘Badal’. ‘Barsaat’. His brother is Mr. Sunny
and his father, Mr. Dharam. So, the weather will
naturally get scared of him. Even the weather
is scared of him. Well, sir, the producer must
be paying you on time, right? Yes, they do. They pay in time. Why is that? – Don’t you know?
He’s a nice guy. His behaviour is good. Did you think that I am going
to say that he gets paid on time because Mr. Sunny Deol
is his brother and Mr. Dharam his father?
– Yes, you said that before. I don’t say expected things,
Kappu Sharma. I go by the name Sapna. ‘Kappu Sharma.’
– Right. I want to ask you this..
The teachers wouldn’t have scolded you in your
school days, right? – Right. As his behaviour would’ve
been good. – No. That’s because Mr. Sunny is his
brother and Mr. Dharam his father. His behaviour may not be good
always. Well, all three of you..
I stay in Nalasopara. I’ll require you over there.
– Why will you require them? Require.. – What do you mean
by that? – Our posters.. It’s their movie promotion.
So, I’ll require them. Did you think I’ll call them
for my job? You always do that. Mr. Akshay, I’ll require
you guys at Nalasopara. ‘Require?’
– For movie promotion? No.
For my promotion. If I think only about them,
how will I make a living? Sir, if you come there.. I’ve a massage parlour here. This is Sapna Beauty Parlour. I’ve different types
of massages. So, I’ll give massage
to you guys. We’ve ‘Housefull 4’ massage. What do you have in that?
– In that, the customer comes. Right. – Then we say,
‘It’s ‘Housefull’ today’. Get out of here.’ Then he comes back. We say, ‘It’s ‘Housefull
3 today. Leave.’ He comes back.
We say, ‘It’s ‘Housefull 4’. ‘Leave.’ Then he comes back.
We say, ‘The movie ‘Housefull 5’ ‘hasn’t been made yet. Get lost
from here.’ This is how it is. It was more of a promotion
and less of massage. You’ll come back here
even for ‘Housefull 5’. Give them a big hand please. Then we’ve ‘De Dana Dan’
massage, Mr. Akshay. What does it have?
– In this, the customer takes his clothes off.
We apply oil on the stick and not on his body. Then we massage him
by hitting him left and right. That’s how it is.
The torturous massage. ‘Torturous..’ – Then, Mr. Bobby,
there’s ‘Gupt’ massage’. What does it have? What does it have? – Do you want
to know even about that? It’s secret. Then we have ‘Mission Mangal’
massage. – What does it have? In this, there’s a superstar. He acts in a movie. Then he comes on a show
for its promotion. After that, he leaves
and the movie makes around Rs. 250 crore or so. But not once does he feel
like offering Rs. 1 crore to me. That is only your dream. Can’t you offer me
even Rs. 1 crore? You took so much
from me for ‘Entertainment’. Did I object? Aren’t you ashamed of
asking money from everyone? Okay.
I won’t ask money. If Akshay dances with me that’ll
be worth a lot. Isn’t it? Wow.
– Correct. Let’s have a big
round of applause for the entire star cast. Thank you so much Kirti.
Thank you so much Akshay. I thank all the stars here.
Please applause for them.