The Kapil Sharma Show – Season 2 – Ep 86 – Full Episode – 27th October, 2019

The Kapil Sharma Show – Season 2 – Ep 86 – Full Episode – 27th October, 2019

To all our audience sitting here
and to all our viewers who are watching
our program on TV wish you all a very
happy Diwali.. Happy Diwali! Earlier, people used to meet
personally and wish for Diwali. Nowadays, it’s all gone.
Actually, mobile phones did. I know.
– No one meets anyone. Everyone is sending wishes
through SMS. The people who never used to
offer anything more than Gujia are sending heap of Kaju Katli
through WhatsApp these days. Dinesh receives a lot
of messages with Kaju Katli. He’s so fool that he put his
phone in the fridge. He says that these many sweets
may get spoiled. Everyone wants the God
to bless him. Someone who spent all his life
eating Besan Ke Laddoos.. Even he goes and offers
Ras Malai to God. – Oh.. When the sweets are so costly,
even the God starts doubting. Since he’s offering
so costly sweets he may take the bracelets
out of God’s wrists. Sometimes even the God
becomes conscious and folds His hands and opens
it back once the guy is gone. Some people store three types
of sweets in the house. Gajak for the neighbours.
The one with jaggery. Dry Pethas of Agra
for the relatives. And if their boss or some
senior person arrives then Kaju Katli for them. They offer the same thing
to the neighbours. Rabri, Gajak.. Many neighbours are very clever. They intentionally come
at the same time when the neighbour’s boss
has come. They come along. Even the person observes them
the way they enter. What can he do now? That’s the scenario, when
the neighbour conducts a surgical strike on Kaju Katli. Yes.. – Because he has
to offer this to his boss. The boss comes and asks him
to serve them as well. The man feels so angry. He asks the boss to take
and tells him that the doctor asked
the neighbour not to eat this. He tells that the neighbour
regularly comes here and even one of his sons
was born in his house. Many neighbours are so insolent
that they ask for more. Such people exist
who start from here but they spread the fingers
after reaching the plate. Then even that person resists
and tells that his wife has warned
and asks them to put it back. He makes him to put it back
at any cost. It’s very easy to find out
how many people are there in a sweet vendor’s family.
When it’s Diwali you’ll see the whole family
in the shop. The elder uncle
with his huge tummy.. He fries the Samosas and all
in the oil. Nephew is decorating
the sweets. Younger sister is weighing. Mother is sitting
somewhere around. The entire family smells
like sweets. So, they can just smell
and find out who was assigned Ladoos
and who was assigned Jalebis. You must have seen
that the sweet shops are too widely spread
during Diwali. At that time, they only listen
to the bulk orders. If you ask for five kilograms
of Kaju Katlis he will immediately listen. If someone asks for
half kilograms of Ladoos he doesn’t listen.
– Yes. Yes. Mr. Das is very clever. He intentionally asks for five
kilograms of Kaju Katlis first. As soon as he turns here
and asks again he asks for half kilograms
of Ladoos. When the shopkeeper says that he
asked for Kaju Katli then he asks him to give
the Ladoos first and keeps Kaju Katli on hold. Ms. Archana goes
to very big shops. She went to a very big shop
yesterday. She tasted 100 to 150 sweets. The shopkeeper asked her
what she wanted to buy. She told him that all the sweets
tasted stale as if they were old. She said that all of them
tasted stale and asked him to show her
fresh sweets. He told her that she had been
tasting them since previous day he didn’t even go home and she didn’t let him
close the shop. He asked her which one
she wanted to buy. She told that she stays away
from sweets and walked out. Generally in Diwali some people
use to store left over Gulab Jamun
and give to their relatives. Relatives are also clever and
the same sweet come back to you. The only difference is that
the colour changes. – Oh, God! It starts stinking.
Then they feed to the dogs. First,
the dogs notice it carefully then they look at the one
who feeds them. They abuse them in their mind. You stupid! Whenever Dinesh visits
somebody’s house he eats a lot of sweets. Even he is full
he still eats. – Okay. Though his stomach is full
his neck is empty. He can stuff himself. Even if his stomach is upset nobody will get to know
because of the noise in outside. He gets caught
when someone bursts a cracker. He fires his canon loudly. During Diwali, those girls
are most worried who make rangoli in their homes.
People usually welcome guests but girls don’t look at
the faces of guests they just look at their feet they ask them to stay away
from rangoli. They only welcome them
when they come inside the house. ‘Hello, Sir.
Happy Diwali.’ ‘Please come inside.’ If somehow male relatives
step on the rangoli then they offer them
unhygienic snacks. Unhygienic snacks!
– They don’t serve them properly because they ruined
the rangoli. Then they make rangoli
inside the commode. Oh, God! Nowadays, we can’t repeat
diwali clothes but facebook reminds us.
– Yes. Pandey is wearing
kurta pajama today. He’s wearing new kurta
but his pajama is last years’. Facebook reminds us that
we care for your memories. He goes mad at facebook. Care for my kids,
not my pajamas. He was frowning. Archana,
nowadays the photos of heroines are printed on wrappers. Alia Bhatt’s photo can be seen in small crackers.
– Oh, so sweet! When it is light up
it makes an unusual sound. Your photo is also printed. The fountain cracker
when light up it explodes like this. Some people are afraid
of crackers. When an brother burst crackers
the female members of the family asks him to be careful. They gets scared
when it is light up. One female member of the family
pretends as if she’s not scared and pretends to be brave
in front of everyone. She comes closer to the
cracker.. She runs really fast.. As she runs.. She returns back again. It’s even more troublesome
in small streets. One man passes by
and crackers explodes and he saves himself
and somebody burst again. The cracker then explodes
on his lungi. Then he blurts out angrily. By listening to his voice
one can make out his loss. During diwali people
clean their houses. Apart from cleaning,
dusting is another kind which I have come across. We used only brooms
to clean our homes. I have heard this word
while living here. During festivals,
people clean their house and each and every thing
in the house. The photos of elderly people
who have passed away are hanged up in frames
this way. The newly wed bride have
no emotion for those people since they are no longer here. Because Manoharlal and Monalisa
are same for them. So.. Manoharlal.. The new brides then wipe which they use to mop the floor on the photo of grandfather. Poor old guy changes his
expression in the photo itself after being
mopped with phenyl. She mops with such force that
it breaks grandpa’s glasses. How cute! During diwali, the tailors
becomes busy in small towns
because people stitch new clothes.
– Yes. They undertake many orders
for stitching and continue working whole day
until they lose their mind. They tie
their pants at this height. When they sit, it comes
down but they don’t realise it. The tailors get used to it. They stitch many clothes
during festivals then they continue doing so
while sleeping at night. Today is diwali and on this auspicious day
we have gifts for the audience. Wow!
– We are fans of superstars but the guests
who are coming today are fans of superstars such as Shah Rukh Khan,
Hrithik Roshan and legendary singer
Asha. They have made
our country proud by appearing in Cannes
and many international festivals with their performances. Wherever they go,
they shower their blessings and love. I am talking about India’s
first transgender band which is sponsored by
the curator and co-founder of Six Pack band. So,
please welcome music director of national award winning films like Page 3, Corporate
and Traffic Signal Mr. Shamir Tandon
and the extremely talented 6 Pack Band! That was amazing!
It was fun. It was a different energy
altogether. Give a big hand.. – Superb!
– …to all the performers. I welcome all of you
on our show. Mr. Shamir, thank you
very much.. – Welcome. …for bringing such
talented people to our show. First of all, I congratulate
you.. – Thank you very much. for forming 6 Pack Band. Secondly, we want to know
as to how you got the idea to form the band. and why it was named
as 6 Pack Band. Kapil, this is not just a band but a mission
that we’d started around five years ago. Because,
this is a community whose needs, desires
and thoughts go unheard. This is the most ignored
community in our country. Yes.
– It’s very sad. One of my friend
and I thought that we’ll come up
with a musical band through which.. Like how you convey serious
matter through humour, at times. So, we thought we’ll convey some
messages to people through music that we’re all gift of God.
And that we’re His children. Absolutely. – And that we should
be given equal opportunity. If we do not discriminate
on the grounds of gender.. Right.
– …the world will be a much more beautiful
place to live in. There’s a beautiful thought
behind your words, sir. It was a delight
to see your performance. Thank you very
much, sir.. – You all are famous by the name 6 Pack Band. I request all of
you to introduce yourself to our audience. I’m Chandni
from 6 Pack Band. Hello! Hi! Greetings!
My name is Komal. I’m a member
of 6 Pack Band. I wholeheartedly thank
everyone present here for supporting
and cheering all of us. We got rid of the nervousness
that we had from within. My name is Fida Khan. Thank you very much. Greetings!
I’m Raveena from 6 Pack. The 6 Pack Band have performed
live in well-known places. Like, they’ve performed
in Cannes Festival. And they’ve performed
in other well-known places too. How do you feel
after performing in such a famous show today?
I.. – Of course. Not only me, we promote
so many shows and movies but no one promotes our show. So, whenever I get a chance.
I do it. This time..
I’ve come to promote your show. I want to thank
your mom the most. How sweet! Thank you.
– Thank you so much for giving this world Kapil!
– Wonderful! You’ve blessed everyone’s family
with laughter, ma’am. I mean, there’s no
famous standup comedian or a comedian like him
in the entire country, till now. That’s my opinion. – Thank you.
– I feel so. I’ve always been
his fan. So, I feel fortunate
for sharing the stage with him. Love you!
Thank you. How was this promotion?
– What! That was superb! Do you know, even our show
is inspired by you. There are several
artists on our show who drape saris
and come to our show. Yes, I’ve seen it several times. It feels good to see people getting inspired by us
to do such things. Okay, the 6 Pack Band
is so popular now. – Yes. I’m sure,
everyone welcomes you. Do you think
the behaviour of the people have changed after
the formation of the band? Yes.
– Absolutely. We definitely feel
that the society is changing. Because Mahatma Gandhi
has said that ‘Be the change
you want to see in this world’. Wow!
– So.. So, until we bring a change
from within we can’t see the world changing. So here the change
is a revolution. What Yash Raj did for us what Ashish Patil did for us everyone has a contribution in
our lives to bring us here. To take us to Cannes. And as well as India’s biggest
show The Kapil Sharma Show. I’m so obliged and thankful. I’m so obliged for real. I want to say this. Thank you so much
for all your love. You speak so well and
your English is so good. How qualified are you? Actually I’m not much educated. But the community where I
belong and my grandma belongs. She is the Judge panel member
of the Maharashtra board. Wow. – Wow. – She is a judge. She is the first
transgender of our community. So I can say that
this in my genes. This is what I’m carrying
form generations. Just as I said it’s
because of your love which brought us here to speak. Or else no one ever had the
mindset to listen to us. You can speak quite well
but at the same time we need people to listen to us. Fantastic. Were you about to say something? Yes.
– Go on. I was saying that we are
proud to be a transgender. We don’t regret about it.
– Great. Our people does good things. We celebrate occasions like
marriage and birth of new child with the people and render love. We give them blessings. And that is why the
Almighty has created us so that we can take care
of people and bless them. Thank you, Archana. When you go to Cannes people tend to wear quite
a different attires. A cut here with swag..
– Indeed.. When you were in Cannes
did you wear such dresses or you were wearing saris.
– No, I took a risk. I.. I was wearing a small dress
thinking that I might turn heads but they
weren’t interested at all. Then what I did is I went in and thought to myself
that people aren’t interested because they are habituated
with such dresses. – Yes. Then I went ahead and
changed my attire into a sari. And they were
applauding everywhere. When you perform
in different venues – Yes. Just as you said that you go to
places to congratulate and bless for an upcoming happy festival you might’ve gone through
a lot of funny incidents. At times people wonder how do
we know before it happened. There’s a common saying that their network is so strong they get the idea of pregnancy
even before the doctor. This has been the
case since ages. Okay.
– Nice. When Lord Krishna took birth the transgender went there
to congratulate them. When we can anticipate
the birth of an Almighty the others are mare humans. And whenever we are
being asked about it we simply say that the
baby was yours in the womb but after birth
the baby is ours. I want to come close to Kapil.
– Okay. – Sure. Shall I have a bit of fun? But not much. I know that I’m going to
break a lot of women’s heart all over in India. But I’ll not take the
chance of missing out on Kapil. Kapil.
– Yes. You are doomed for the day. I want to say something.
– Sure. It was kind of a desire. I used to hear every
heroine coming here and calling Kapil with love. So I thought of doing
the same when I meet him. So, Kapil. I’ve a question for you.
– Sure. You are married now, aren’t you?
– Yes.. You’ve invited a lot of people.
– Yes. He organised a
reception in Punjab as well as in Mumbai. But you didn’t invite us. But there’s one thing.
– What? But Deepika came to his wedding. Yes, right..
– I’ve heard about it. Deepika came to his wedding.
– Yes, she did.. I’ve been your fan since
the very childhood. You are the most
beautiful actress ever. Thank you. Thank you so much. But the question is.. Where is Mr. Sidhu? How was that? So I’m here with a smiley. It means she is happy for real. So you didn’t invite
us at your wedding. Then we thought we don’t need
invitation to go anywhere. And we are here to
congratulate Kapil. And listen to one more thing.
– Okay. You’ll be a father very soon. I need your blessings. Congratulations.
– Thank you. You know? You created
the atmosphere today itself. I am feeling as if the function
is going on at my home. I forgot that shooting
is going on. But you are so sweet and you
said so many nice things. You’ve inspired
everyone greatly. Give a big hand
for our artistes please. Wherever they go, they spread
love and happiness. They give their blessings. When your heart is heavy
or you feel sad remember the lines
of ‘6 Pack Band’. Be happy, sing and dance. And clap.
– Clap. From us, the members of ‘6
Pack Band’, here’s wishing all our viewers a Happy Diwali..
– A Happy Diwali. Once again, I wish to thank
you very much. Thank you very much. It was a great pleasure meeting
you and talking to you. Same here.
– Thank you so much. We’ll plan an event again
so that you can visit us again. Because I feel we should
have had more conversation. More conversation.
Even I feel that I am not fulfilled yet. I want a promise from you.
– Yes. You didn’t invite us
for your wedding. – Yes. When you’ve a baby, I’ll surely
come to see it. – Cent percent. Please come home.
Sure. I’ll give my blessings
to your baby. Sure. It’s our blessing that.. – Sure.
– It becomes successful like you. Thank you so much.
Thank you.. Thank you so much for having us.
– Thank you. Thank you so much, Mr. Shameer.
Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Kapil,
for having us. – Thanks a lot. Thank you so much.
– Ms. Archana, I’ll see my guests off.
I’ll be right back. A big round of applause
for all our guests please. This way please, sir. Ms. Archana. In our country we have
a fix for a lot of things. Some of our leaders
get ministries by such fixes and not by the votes. Often they take ministry
and then they contest elections. And some have such a fix they can easily take out
good ministers. Mine. Even we use a fix
to run things. We cannot afford
good looking girls. Why yes! Then we have
our guys turn into girls! People do employ such a fix
while travelling in trains. They have a teen kid
with moustaches and they try to pass him
as a child for avoiding ticket.. Teen!
– And the kids are honest! Telling about their true age! And then the parents
feel ridiculed. Out comes the awkward laugh. They grow up so fast. He was not so old
on a station before. The TC ends being
smarter. ‘Such is thing about
kids and inflation.’ ‘The station you boarded
would fine you Rs. 2,000’ ‘and now you’ll pay
Rs. 3,000.’ ‘You have a prison cell
waiting ahead.’ ‘What do you have to say?’ People here have
such a fix. They sit in an Indian style
on a western toilet. God! They have such a balance
and they do not fall. The balance is tested
as train passes over a bridge. They are then
worried pale. Clinging t0o make sure
they do not fall. What! People are resourceful. A kid lost his belt and the dad gave his own
pajamas string to the kid. And then the dad tucked
his pajamas in the shorts. Then you have to keep
the belly inflated to make sure you
got the right grip on. But a sneeze
is unpredictable. And out goes the sneeze
pushing all efforts to vain. I speak of such fixes as there is a movie
on this issue. One named ‘Made in China’. And we have the star cast
for the movie here. Please welcome Mouni Roy
and Mr. Rajkumar Rao. Always remember!
On every joyous occasion! Rajkumar Rao
and Mouni Roy! We welcome you both. Thank you. He is having it good.
He meets VVIP folk. Is that so?
– He gets to meet the PM then he gets
to meet Kapil. Whenever he does films,
they are the best. The nation is using
‘Make in India’ and this man here goes
for ‘Made in China’. Tell me, what is this movie
about? This movie is a fix
by Indians. As you spoke of fixes
a while ago. And we all here make
such fixes and get work done. Every day in our lives. To get a seat
in the bus that has been reserved
for women. And seeing no women around
they do grab the seat. Once a lady arrives,
they make such a face. So our movie is a tale
of a middle class family from Ahmedabad, we play
a husband and wife. And the man dreams
of becoming a businessman. An entrepreneur. He did all in life. He has sold emu eggs
in five star hotels. What eggs?
– Emu. A huge bird, emu.
– Emu! The bird with
the long neck. Yes, that’s the one! He has sold emu eggs,
bread makers. He has sold melon
shaped as a square. Nothing worked out. So he goes to China
and gets a secret recipe and he comes back. This recipe is useful
for our men. Some people need it
and many do not speak of it. But we all want it.
To get stronger, last longer. What a line! So we start this business to get
things moving and grooving. Wow! Mouni, ‘Made in China’? Yes.
– And you are made in heaven. Thank you, Kapil. That is why I love
coming here. What are you playing
in the movie? I am playing ‘Rukmini’. She is Raghu’s wife. She is an independent woman
and she supports Raghu in life. And there a few more things. People will know
once they see this movie. Mouni, I checked your Instagram
and you said you are a foodie. Yes. For you celebs,
does sniffing count as eating? I do eat a lot. Hard to believe. I am a Bengali.
I love rice. I want something sweet
after a meal. Yet you have such
sharp features? Yoga? Yoga. On my mother’s side
of the family we have four women
and eight chins given each of them
has a double chin. So they wanted me to ask
Mouni about it so Yoga does the trick?
– It sure does. So a lot of effort
is required. Hard work, everyone. Mouni, speaking of food.. Do you know, onions
have become quite expensive. Yes.
– You would not eat any. A beauty like you
would hardly ever eat any. I have not eaten for now
but I do eat a lot. I like onions. Ms. Archana told me
that they no longer serve onion. She said she had to argue
and hit the waiter to get some free onions. And then.. And when the bill comes due with all the onions loaded she goes and asks
the cashier, in the face. Her breath does scare
the guy. And tricking the cashier,
she grabs the mouth freshener. And by sheer force
she can bend a bowl. I was telling you. Such a talent I have. We can have a lot of fun. Come on guys, please
be seated. No matter the movie
done by Rajkumar he does get a lot
of praise. All of his movies,
as we see. People are praising. So Rajkumar, how do you
pick a movie? Is a psychic
or a parrot? I have a parrot
pick up a chit for me. In China, they have
the same thing to ask for water
and for washroom. Did you face any trouble
back there? No. Do you understand Mandarin?
– No. So how did you manage? I had someone
to help me. To translate. One who knew both languages. And when it comes
to us Indians. I only know basic greetings. ‘Nihao’.
What does that mean? It means ‘hello’. And Xie Xie
is ‘Thank you’. Thank for answering
this question. Okay. So you have shot a lot
in China, Rajkumar? Yes. things must be chap
in China and being an Indian,
we love to bargain. Did you bargain over there? I did bargain.
– Then? I asked how much it’d cost. And then obviously
I hit a pretty low price. That language
is pretty tough. I know like four words
in Chinese. Sure about that? Four, I guess. So you all know that
this movie released on Diwali and people bring crackers
on Diwali. He got soup. He thought crackers
add in pollution but his soup can bring a rise
in population. We are huge in numbers
without the soup. It is not like we are
holding back anyway. Indeed. By the way in a hour
we’d produce more kids. In an hour India
produces 70,000 kids. Mouni, do you know
of our population? Billions, right? – Yes, 1.3..
– Okay, it is 1.3 billion. You were saying that
I am handsome, right? I ask asking.. Do I not? You always seem handsome.
– Thanks, Babes. He wanted to hear that. Do not hit at me
I am married now. Okay. We will speak a lot
with Mouni and Rajkumar. Now it is time to invite another actor
from the movie. No matter what role he plays
he makes is memorable. Amongst a round of applause I will to invite the versatile,
our favourite, Mr. Boman Irani. We have worked together
in Love story 2050. We went to Australia
together. I loved that scene
with you. So nice! So nice!
– Tell us. It was fun.
We shot a scene. We got the money.
We enjoyed Australia. We came home. Money comes first
for her. Even for the taxi fare. Conveyance. They were having a car. She asks for conveyance.
– Conveyance. Tell us about your character. Every role you do
is legendary. I am very happy.
Thank you. Thank you, sir. I am a doctor
in this movie. A doctor who helps the man and wife.
– Yes. Problems amidst
a man and wife. Be it psychological or physical.
– Right. But we.. Indians do not usually
go to the doctors like me. They’re scared.
– Yes. They feel shy. This is my argument that if
someone gets a heart attack or a heart problem, then they
go to the cardiologist. – Right. Right? If you have diabetes,
you’ll go to diabetologist. If you have problems
in your relationship then you should come
to the people like me. You shouldn’t be scared.
– Right. There’s a trend in our society
that people don’t talk openly and take it otherwise. If the children sometimes
ask their parents how they came,
the parents tell them that a fairy left them here. But nowadays, the children
have become so smart because of the internet
that they ask their parents not to depend on the fairies
and give them younger sibling. So.. Boman, he’s going to become
a father. Hey!
– Congratulations! Sir, thank you! Thank you, sir. No, I..
– It’s visible. Congratulations!
– Thank you! What are you thinking about?
You’re thinking too much. Don’t think, the baby is coming. Do you need any advice?
– No, sir. No.. Sir, I read the news that you
recently had a slipped disc. Yes. – But you were still
shooting for the film. – Yes. Did you like the script so much,
or your wife asked you not to stay in the house? No, I don’t like staying
in the house myself. Very good, sir.
– And.. One more thing is that if you
gave commitment then you should complete
the film at any cost. It’s a little painful, but you
should enjoy it. Love you, sir.
– Yes. Chinese make everything
and Indians improvise. The way I told that we
definitely arrange something at some point of time. Sir, I want to ask this
to all three of you. Have you ever arranged something
in your life? Yes, I think we all keep
arranging things in daily life. When the TV remote doesn’t work,
then we turn it around and beat it up.
Beat it up properly. The slaps work.
– It works immediately. Mouni, have you ever done
anything like that? Yes, a lot. I used to collect
my mom’s small jewellery boxes and used to store cardamom.
I still do that. That’s a habit. By mistake, you.. We often think
of doing exercise at home so people often buy a treadmill.
– Yes. But they usually dry their
clothes on that. Same here.
– And they sleep on it. So, yes.. – The way people
do this in India. They brush their teeth. When they buy new toothbrush,
it’s strong like a soldier. Eventually, the brush
spreads like this. Later, they use it
to dye their hairs. And when the toothbrush has no brush left on it they use it as a stick. Even after that, they keep
doing something out of it. That’s arrangement. I would like to ask
all the guests sitting here if they did anything like that,
they can share their stories. Yes, ma’am. Hello, sir.
– Hello. How are you?
– Good. Good..
– Good.. Once, I and my husband went
on a ten days trip. I packed four to five
underwear. But it was winter season,
so they were not dried. Only one was left and I saw
that there was a hole in it. I got scared
as to what to do. If my husband had found this,
he would scold me a lot. Why were you scared? No one else
except him was going to see it. But he doesn’t allow that
even in the room. That means.. Oh.
– After that.. After that I improvised so that he doesn’t find out.
So the red thread I took.. I made a heart shape with it. On the hole. Heart shape? I worked in a film, ‘Kis Kisko
Pyaar Karoon’, right? In that, my wife makes a star
on my underwear. The character keeps three wives
in the same building, right? Your intentions. – His underwear
falls from the upper floor. He tells that it’s nothing,
because many people wear such underwear. But she tells that she made
this ‘R’. But this art
is wonderful, ma’am. Only ladies can think
creative like this. Thank you and he still doesn’t
know that this happened. Has your husband come with you?
– Yes, sir. Hello, sir.
How are you? Wonderful, sir. The colour
of your dress is awesome. It’s very bright. Thank you, sir. Sir, what have you learnt
from this? That you should pack your bags
by yourself. Yes, we should. But I don’t know why I found it
very romantic that day. It was quite different.
– You felt good? – Yes. Wow! It was nice
meeting you both. Thank you.
– Thank you. Anyone else?
Yes, ma’am. Hello, Kapil.
– Hello. Hi, ma’am.
– Hi. Hello, everyone.
– Hello. My name is Priya.
I am from Thane. Yes, Priya.
– Once, I did this. I and two of my friends
went out once. We were travelling
in the local train and we didn’t buy tickets.
– Okay. And unfortunately,
we were caught by the TC in the station
and took us to the main office. And he was very rude. He asked us
to call our parents.. Then a young TC entered
and I was happy. We went to him
and started flirting that he looked like a gentlemen
and he was very handsome. We asked him to spare us
this time and told that we won’t repeat. Did he spare?
– Finally.. Yes, he let us go for free. He exchanged the numbers though. He asked us not to repeat
and exchanged numbers. Later, he called. But we were done, so.. Okay, this was done by you
that the TC caught and you flirted. Do you have any such solution
for men as well? They have to pay the fine. What if we act like this?
‘Oh, TC..’ Won’t it work? No? It might work,
if the TC is female. And in your case,
it’ll definitely work. But do not travel
without ticket. Always book tickets.
– Right. Thank you, Priya, for coming to
our show. – Thank you so much. And I’m your greatest fan. I
want this show to go on forever. May our future generations
also watch it. May you host this show even
when you grow old and use a walking stick.
– Thank you so much.. Thank you.
– Thank you. Does anyone else want
to share their views? Yes, sir!
– Hello, everybody! Hello, sir!
– Hi, how are you? – Hello! Yeah, baby! ‘French connection’?
– Yes, sir. And you are sporting
a French beard. – Yes, sir. What’s the French connection?
– Is his underwear French too? No, that’s not French.
– Oh.. He asked that but you
are looking at him. – No.. He’s looking at me. – The one
who asked. In fact, everybody. All..
– Everybody, sir. – Yes, okay. Well, sir, this is about
underwear. It’s a Punjabi tale. I see. – My neighbours
have an air conditioner. Sometimes, when our clothes
don’t dry.. – Okay. So, we hang them behind
the air conditioner from where hot air comes out. Do they dry out?
– There was a disaster once. We hung the underwear behind it
but they got burnt. And we swore never to use
such shortcut techniques again. Mr. Kapil.- Yes?
– I don’t get one thing. Our country has a hot climate.
Yet the underwear of our audience never dry out.
What is the problem after all? An internal matter.
– Internal matter. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Mr. Rajkumar, Rao..
– Hello.. Ms. Mouni, Roy..
– Hello.. Mr. Boman, Irani.. Ms. Archana, Siddhu.. Sapna! What are you doing?
– You be quiet! Just shut up!
I’m here. Our favourite stars are here.
Give them a big hand. What have you done to yourself?
– I see! They can produce a film ‘Made in China’ but I can’t
make my parlour look Chinese! I see! What will you gain
by a Chinese beauty parlour? Do you want to know?
Your loafer friends.. When they saw the hoarding
‘Chinese Beauty Parlour’ they came and started
smoking outside my parlour. ‘Shall we go in for a massage?’
All of them! And this one..
The one who gave the beats.. What’s this fatso’s name? He is not Mr. Pandey
but a Chinese panda. Kapu, he comes to me and says
that he wants a noodle massage. I said, ‘Rascal,
if you talk nonsense’ ‘I’ll beat the ‘Hakka’
out of you!’ Tell me something.
Isn’t our show number one? Yes! No one can beat it.
But they are officially beating the drums! You have produced
‘Made in China’ and he has brought
‘Made in Punjab’. Ms. Archana, I think,
60 percent Punjab is.. – Yes? ..running on ‘Kapu currency’.
– ‘Kapu currency’! Sapna, such wonderful guests
are sitting here. Why don’t you talk about them?
– You know they are good, right? Yes. – Why do you invite
such people on the show? You have done a good job. Thank you.
– I’m a huge fan of your work. Give me that, I’m itchy.
– What? Nothing. I just took it
for a while. I’m itchy. I’m going to treat you.
Wait. Thank you, Ms. Sapna.
– I have.. Nothing, you carry on! So.. What was I saying, sir? I love only two things in life.
– What? In food, ‘Vada Pav’
and in films.. Rajkumar Rao.
– No, interval. You didn’t enjoy it.
You found it absurd, right? No, it was funny. – Ms. Archana
told me to say that. She said, she’d laugh at
this punch line. Now laugh. Laugh! She interferes with
the creative team, you know. A lot of interference.
– Oh. So, Mr. Rajkumar,
I don’t like one thing.- What? All the heroines that work
with you betray you. What do you mean?
– Right, look.. In ‘Queen’, it was
Kangana Ranaut. – Yes. She went alone
for her honeymoon. The one he loved in ‘Stree’
turned out to be a witch. Yes. – Now he is working
with a pretty and sly lady. He has lost his trust in women. If any woman greets him, he
says.. ‘O Stree, come tomorrow.’ I needed a favour from you.
I wanted to buy jewellery. So, what’s the rate of silver
in the market? How would she know about silver?
– She worked in ‘Gold’ so she’d obviously
know about silver. That too, raw silver.
– Mr. Boman. – Yes? You didn’t enjoy it. You
found it boring. – No at all. Wonderful joke!
– Ms. Archana, we won’t let you work in the creative team again! Lame punches. Mr. Boman. You are Parsi.
– Yes. Last name is Irani.
– Yes. You live in India.
– Yes. You shoot a movie in China. So? Give me a sum
of ten million. You must not sit there. They are asking
for ten million. No more. Sir, I.. One more thing
I want to know. Yes, please. And the Chinese currency.. Look at Mouni.. What do you want to know?
Tell me! Go on.
Ask. I want to know. The Chinese currency.. Are the bill same?
Like 1000 rupee bill we got? No! Are you done? Do not do that. If you poke my eye.. Let me ask something. Well, go on. You made a good soup
in the movie. I know. A tiger soup.
– Right. I have a boyfriend Mukesh. Can I get some soup
for him? For whom? For Mukesh.
– What is wrong with Mukesh? He is in trouble. He is in the washroom
all day long. Something wrong with him. What? An upset stomach. That is not the case. He is
troubled about something else. A problem that has risen
from the front. He keeps urinating
all day long. He has grown weak. He is trouble. He is so weak. Do not dare to play
that somber music. On and on
with that music. Sir, he has grown so weak That he soils his pants
even with a sneeze. Oh, God! So may I get some soup? Actually.. You need a stapler
not a soup. Stapler.
You heard that? You want to close
the way. That is not wrong. If you give me the soup then I have different types
of massages for you. I run a parlour. Very nice. I have a massage for you.
A special for you. Elaborate. A customer comes in
and the masseuse puts some oil and pressure
making the customer scream. What? You wrote that?
– No! I have another one. Ching Pong Ong massage. What about that? I think it is same
as before. Something wrong
with you? Stop with this nonsense. What is all this nonsense? What is wrong with you? You have a problem?
Tell me. We will hear you out. The massage is way more
elaborate. Pray tell. What is this gibberish? Well, it is in Chinese,
so you have to go to China. There could be an issue
with that so let me help you out
with a Ragini MMS massage. It so happens that
the customer gets down and he is oiled.
Then comes Ragini. Then? Ragini gets the work done. What did you think
was going to happen? Hey.. We have a hit show.
We will never stoop low. Another one for you.
The serpent. Elaborate. We rake off the clothes
of the customer and oil him up. Followed by a massage. Then again the same process. Then we leave a serpent
over them. Then? The customer then goes home. What about
the serpent? She is now working
in the movies. She is a star now. I have to go. You have to go?
– Yes. I have a problem. I had put some flour
on a customer and set him up to steam. Why? The Momo massage. I am going now. Bye. Sir, we have some rumours. You all know. A lot about stars. We do not believe. We ask. If they are true or not. There is a break in the show
for next season as you need a refill
for the poison as a serpent. I had a lot of poison
and I need no refuelling. Is it love
or venom? This is a lie. A lie. Mr. Boman, you liked
superheroes a lot and your name is derived
from Batman? A good one.
You wrote this? I like it. – Sir,
what does your name mean? We never asked. It means a great mind. It is true. Rajkumar. You were scared
of ghosts as a kid and hence you woke up
your family if you had to pee
in the night. I did not take everyone
but I was scared of them. Okay.
– I used to take my mom. Okay. – We had a huge house
in a joint family. So the toilet
was in a corner. Okay.
– Outside the courtyard. So I took my mom
with me. And I told her to keep
talking to me. So sweet. To make sure
that she is out there. We were all scared
when we were kids. Mr. Boman, Shahrukh
calls you a ‘Sex bomb’. Really?
– True? Yes. Why? A joke.
He doesn’t mean it. Oh, a joke?
– Yes.. So it’s a rumour. Rajkumar. You went as
a girl to meet your girlfriend and you were so pretty
that her brother fell for you. Where did you get this? Is it a rumour
or will you reveal it? It’s wrong.
It’s a rumour. It’s a rumour. Okay. Mr. Boman. You like crying. When your wife cried
at your wedding, even you cried. I did cry before
the wedding. But as you grow old you do cry.
I feel that. Now I cry during
a comedy film. I am a grandpa
now. – Congrats. Tears of joy! I have
a grandson and a granddaughter. Wow. – I get emotional
when I see them. I can still cry.
It is so special. God bless you. Rajkumar, there’s
another rumour about you. People think of you
as a south Indian so at clothing store, you are
shown southern dresses. They may think that
due to my last name. Oh.
– I was raised in Gurgaon. But no on shows me
a southern dress. Oh, they don’t show it?
Okay. Sir, a last one. You started photography as you wanted to shoot
pictures of Bikini models. Not at all. I started shooting
at sports events. Okay. – And later I started
advertising. I was a decent photographer.
I was pretty fine. One more thing. Your kids have saved
your name on their phones as ‘Where are you?’ Is it true?
– Yes. Why? – No matter
how old your kids get. Okay.
– Be it 30, 35 or 50 years old. You always care
for them. We are in the age
of cell phone. Having people
immersed all day. Yes. – But at night,
if they get late on their way home
at night I asked them where they are
and if they are fine? Drive safely.
This is important. Our viewers would like
to talk to you. We are giving them
this opportunity. Feel free to talk.
Anybody? Yes, this gentleman
has raised his hand. Hello, sir. Hello, ma’am.
– Hello. – Hello, everyone. Hello. – Ms. Mouni, I know
that you are a very good singer. So.. – I?
– Yes. So I want you to impress me
by singing something. She needs to impress you?
– Why should she? Sir, it’s a kind of trick. I’ll make my wife hear that and she will also try
to impress me. Is your wife here with you?
– Yes. He wants other girls
to impress him. Control him. What are you doing, sir? Your jacket makes you look
quite decent but look at what you
are demanding! The Bengalis
are naturally talented. And they are amazing singers.
Wow! Thank you, sir. Because of you
even we got to hear her sing. Anyone else? Yes, ma’am. Hello, Mr. Kapil.
– Hello. Hello, ma’am.
– Hello. Rajkummar Rao and Mouni Roy we would like to perform
‘Garba’ with you guys. Why not? We will feel honoured.
– Come on. Please come. Ms. Archana,
did you recognise her? On TikTok her video
has gone viral. Oh!
– Wow! Welcome.. Do you know people share
your video with a caption? ‘Knee pain! What is that?’ Thank you, ma’am.
Thank you so much. Thanks a lot.
– Thank you.. Lovely meeting you.
– Thank you, ma’am. You dance so well. You dance so amazingly! Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
– I am your fan. Thank you, girls. Thank you.
– Thank you so much. – Come. Very lovely!
Very nice! Hey!
– Hello! Sir, how are you? Well, thank you. You like that?
– Yes, I do.. You like that?
– I love it. You are killing it, man.
You are killing it. Hello. – How are you?
– How are you? I am good.
How are you? Even I am good. – Hello..
– How are you? I am good.
Did you pay triple the tax? Yes, I did.
– Okay, you did. I always do.
Please have a seat. Shall I? – I am not used to
such an honour. Sir. – Yes.
– I’m your biggest fan. Are you playing a doctor’s role
in this movie too? Yes.
– Even in ‘Munna Bhai M.B.B.S.’ you were a doctor.
– Yes. You are being a good doctor
in the industry. Hey, what is going on? Didn’t you see the trailer?
– Yes, I did. Then why don’t you get
your eyes treated? All this is a part
of the trailer. I took inspiration
from the trailer and came up with this act. I’ll get inspired
by this conversation and create that. What? – The movie,
‘Made In China’. Kapil Sharma.
– Yes. Today refrain yourself
from giving me useless advises. If at all you have
to give me something then give me Mouni Roy. Ms. Mouni,
don’t look at me like that. If you bite me, I will be dead. But I am aware that at one point of time you were
a shape-shifting serpent. Yes.
– May be you don’t know but earlier this man used to be
a shape-shifting chameleon. Yes, chameleons change
their colours, right? Even he changed his colour
and joined the Sony TV. Nice one! Ms. Mouni, you went to China
and all for this movie, right? Now you should
come to London with me. I will give you
a tour of London. Aren’t you ashamed
to trouble our guest? I am not troubling her. So?
– I was just.. What is it called? What does a dog do? Woof-Woof! I am trying to woo her. You’re being so frank with her. Shouldn’t you be
introducing yourself first? Why should I? You know everything about me.
Why don’t you do that for me? Do you have that in your mouth? That.. What it is called? What do you eat Parathas with? Daler Mehndi. Who eats Parathas
with Daler Mehndi? He doesn’t make any sense. I’ll tell you
why he is saying all that. This man is too cunning. Cunning!
– Yes, he is. He invited Daler Mehndi
to his wedding and he made him sing a lot
without paying him anything. Then, he told him that he would promote him
on the show. Look, how he is promoting him! This didn’t even make any sense. Who eats Parathas
with Daler Mehndi? It’s eaten
with that white thing. – Curd.. White..
– Butter. Butter, curd.. – Just because
you have earned some money you think you can eat butter! He is right.
He is doing it purposely. He knows the word but just to ruin my joke..
– Ruin! He is not saying it purposely. I was trying to ask if there’s
curd stuffed in your mouth. He need not introduce me.
I’ll introduce myself, sir. I am Accha Yadav.
I am from London. I am a Brijwasi from London. You are a Brijwasi from London! It’s like that..
You know London Bridge, right? I live under it. Sir, you had acted in the movie,
‘Newton’, right? – Yes.. So, what would you like to have? Green tea or gravity? Sir, I watched your movie,
‘Stree’. I was extremely shocked. His work was so magnanimous,
Ms. Archana. It wasn’t magnanimous,
it was magnificent. There’s not much difference. Clearly in your dictionary
they mean the same. Otherwise
they are quite different. All right.. Yes, so.. Ms. Archana and you were
magnificent in that movie. Ms. Archana wasn’t a part
of ‘Stree’. – Ms. Archana? The first man that got abducted
was Ms. Archana. Later in the movie
the witch seeks her advise on how to scare people. She trains ghosts.
Aren’t you aware of that? What all I am capable of?
– Oh my.. By the way, Mr. Rajkummar,
I want to ask you something. What is it called?
When a person is extremely happy how does he feel? Ecstatic!
– Yes, ecstatic.. I wanted to ask you a question.
– A question? – Yes, question. Earlier you worked
in a movie called ‘Aligarh’. Then you did,
‘Bareilly Ki Barfi’. Your current project is
‘Made In China’. Why China?
Is it because it’s cheap? China! You know, our channel Sony TV has hired this Chinese Sidhu. She charges less
and laughs too much. Just like Chinese stuff even she doesn’t have
any guarantee or warranty. She can leave anytime. Mr. Rajkummar, don’t let
my statements shock you. Why? – In that case we’ll have
to call him Rajkumar Hirani. That was my made in China joke and I didn’t know if it would
be successful or not. But, it’s being appreciated. Our movie, ‘Made In China’
will surely be appreciated. Of course, sir. It’s amazing.
I have seen the trailer. I was shocked. By the way, Mr. Boman.. – Yes.
– …I really like you. Give him a huge round
of applause. You’ve come up with an amazing
trick in the movie. Kapil Sharma, do you know a lot of money was spent
on making ‘Baahubali’? – Okay. But he can do that with his soup
costing Rs. 10. And I absolutely love
that song of yours. Which one?
– That one.. “O Bomaniya..” “Ah Bomaniya..” “O Bomaniya..” “Ah Bomaniya..” It’s not ‘Bomaniya’,
it’s ‘Womaniya’. And that’s not his song. My bad! Your bad! – My bad!
I didn’t know that. But I like the other song too. “The winds blow..
Boman-Boman!” “The winds blow..
Boman-Boman!” – Hey! The word is ‘Sanan-Sanan’! No one can control the wind. May be your wind blows
‘Sanan-Sanan’ but mine blows ‘Boman-Boman’. Yes, man! Yes, man!
Bro! Yes, man! – Yes! Are you done?
– No, I am not. I am not done yet. And I will never be done. You are always in a hurry
to make me leave from here. I just arrived. Yes, you just arrived..
– I just arrived. Sorry. – Yes. Sir, I am getting a call.
Sorry. Can I answer the call? Yes, please.
– Let me attend this call. Oh! I am so rich, you know! Jackie Chan is calling me up. Tell me, Jackie Chan. Can’t you be at peace
without talking to me? What’s the problem? Your pants’ zip
isn’t functioning properly? Make sure you function properly. Don’t call me
for such small things. I am hanging up. I am sorry, sir.
People disturb me a lot. But I am very rich. So, such things don’t matter. I would like
to take your leave now. I am busy.
I need to reach London. Thank you very much. Thank you, sir.
Thank you. Thank you very much. All right! Bye! Bye.. – See you later.
Till then take care. Thank you. Yes, bro! Give Mr. Boman, Mouni
and Rajkummar a big hand. Please come, sir. Kapil, I want to say something.
– Yes, sir. I have appeared on your show
many times. Even today, I had a lot of fun.
– Thank.. – Thank you very much. You said something
during the show. You said that you want your kids and grandkids to watch this show and I even I wish for the same.
– Yes. Because I think
it’s so important.. To make people laugh
is a big achievement. And.. You know what’s the real test
of this show? When I watch your shooting
from the backstage.. – Yes. …your crew that comes here
everyday.. – Yes. …your musicians, your writers
and all the others enjoy as if they are watching it
for the first time. That’s the real.. I love my team, sir. God bless you.
– Thank you. Thank you, sir. Rajkummar, would you like
to say something? He said something very nice when he said that to make
others laugh is a noble thing. Our movie, ‘Made In China’
that released recently will make you laugh a lot. It will entertain you a lot. And it will narrate
a very lovely story. Thank you, Rajkummar.
Thank you, Mouni. Thank you, Mr. Boman. Thank you so much.
– Thank you so much for coming. It was fun. It’s time to click
a beautiful selfie. Rajkummar will click it because if you click a selfie
your face looks bigger. My face is already big. Come, Mouni. Come, Mr. Boman. Wait. You should stand
in front of me. Thank you.. Thank you, sir.
Love you, sir. Thank you.

Only registered users can comment.

  1. Rajkumar Rao I have seen movie but sad to see movie like housefull 4 become hit and made in China which is super film but flopped

  2. Without shunil grobar kapil Sharma show nothing 1 year aftar i see in kapil sharma but no enjoymant plss bring back shunil grovar

  3. थैंक यू सो मच सर फुल एपिसोड अपलोड करने के लिए

  4. I request sony tv. plzzz plzzz 🙏🙏🙏🙏 uploaded every episode. Plzzzz🙏🙏🙏🙏 I am from kuwet sir.

  5. i have never wtched kapil show again after SUNIL LEFT , this abhishk does not fit in comedy even he vry over not funny at all

  6. Last few shows se Acha Yadav jocks Kyun Nahi Sunna rha hai Yaar
    Really missed so much his jocks.
    Aisy Acha Yadav ki comedy Bahut hi pheeki pheeki Lagti Hai
    Kindly Acha Yadav ke jocks continue Karyn unke bina Kapil ka show kuch adhora adhora sa hai
    Please asked them where’s the Acha Yadav’s jocks guys

  7. Feel soooooo happy for these transgenders 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
    May Allah bless them more. !!!!! ❤️💚💙🧡💛💜

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *