– Kapil.. Kapil..
– Kapil.. Oh, no!
What are you doing? Just a moment! Beautiful girls?
In front of my back? In front of my back..
– How are you, girls? Don’t answer,
I have paid you money. Don’t answer. That guy paid you money? Is it true? Talk to me in English. Thank you, girls!
Thank you very much! Thank you for coming!
Thank you! You can leave.
Thank you very much! Thank you!
Thank you, girls! Thank you!
– Thank you! Bye! Oh, hello!
A huge round of applause! Just a minute.
What is this, man? This is wrong, Ms. Archana.
– What? Guests come on this show.
Does Kapil ever talk to anyone the way
he’s talking to me? – Yes. Which guests?
– Guests, the celebrities. Yes! Haven’t you read
in the newspaper? – No. I’ve become a producer!
I am producing my own movie! A huge round of applause! And, friends, I myself have come
to Kapil Sharma’s show as a guest for the promotion
of that movie. Thank you! Krushna.
– Yes. Guests are those people
whom we invite not those who
are self-proclaimed guests. What’s this? And do you know what happens
when an actor becomes producer? What happens?
– Learn from me. I learnt from you, sir. That’s why I invested
Rs. 3 crore in the movie not Rs. 35 crore. Okay, tell me the name
of the movie. My movie’s name?
– Yes. It’s..
– ‘Let Me Die, Friends.’ ‘Let Me Die, Friends.’
– Let me die, friends? ‘Let Me Die, Friends.’
– Who’s stopping you? Go and die. Oh, no.
Kapil, he’s promoting my movie. It’s the name of my movie,
Ms. Archana. ‘Let Me Die, Friends.’
– ‘Let Me Die, Friends.’ Thank you.
– Go and polish other people. I am not promoting
any movie here. I really want to die.
– Oh, why.. The new guys have started
making movies and I am still working
as a cook. Kapil, listen to me.
– Yes. You become the producer,
sign me as a hero and shut his mouth. And I can even help you in that.
– What? You can give me Rs. 2 crore
less than my current rate in the market.
– Rs. 2 crore.. Rs. 2 crore less
than your market rate? – Yes. That means you’ll give me Rs. 1,99,70,000.
Your rate is Rs. 30,000. I don’t want to get into
all these calculations. That’s why you just talk
to my BA. It’s CA, not BA. I couldn’t afford CA,
so I hired a BA. Kapil, I agree, man. Even after having a friend
like him this show has 4.1 TRP.
Strange. Just a minute! This show got 4.1 TRP,
because I took my shirt off for the first time
on a national TV. A huge round of applause for me!
– Wow! Wow! Have we got 4.1 TRP
because you took off the shirt? Yes. Let’s do one thing, Kapil. Let’s get 10 TRP
in this episode. Come on, let’s rip
his pants apart. Give.
Come on. Hey..
– Come on. Kapil.
– Hey! Hey! Listen to me.
Look at him. Krishna is so new.
He somehow worked hard and he has become
a film producer today. I have to work hard. Because neither I’ve come
from Amritsar nor my friend runs a show
with 4.1 TRP. Understood? Sometimes we need
to stick to friends because not everyone’s uncle
is Govinda. Wow! Chandu, by the way,
I have to say something. Yes.
– Even your uncle is a star. Yes, he is.
– In the circus. You know, his uncle
is very talented. You know, he’d put petrol
in his mouth and blow the fire. He swallowed the petrol
by mistake once. Then..
– Then.. What else?
He was a professional man. He blew the fire.
– He blew it.. It’s a different thing
that the medium was different. For the first time, people saw
a rocket moving on the ground. Kapu Sharma. – Yes.
– The fire you’ve blown.. – Yes. Will be extinguished only when
I’ll come here as a celebrity and you’ll take my interview.
I’m going. I’m going.
Congratulations, buddy. Thank you.
Oh! Thank you so much
for coming, Krushna. Thank you, buddy..
– There’s your exit. Hey, no question of exit.. I..
– Hey! Won’t you take my interview?
– Oh! You want to give an interview?
– Yes, buddy. I don’t want to take it. Krushna is a producing a film. Give him a huge round
of applause. Who’s the director of the movie?
– What do you think? Who will I hire as the director
if I’m the producer? I got you. He’s a cunning man. He thought
his wife troubles him, a lot. So, he thought he’ll spend
some money and keep her busy. Right. – His wife turned out
to be more cunning. She casted him in return so that he’s right
in front of her. So, friends, let’s invite
the writer, the director of the film,
‘Marne Bhi Do Yaaron’ Kashmira Shah
and the film’s lead actor the newcomer,
Mr. Rishabh Chauhan! Come, Kashmira, Rishabh,
you’re most welcome. Krushna, even you take
a seat somewhere there. Come. By the way, Kashmira,
I want to ask you you’re an actress.
So, how did you decide of becoming a director?
– Well, you made him Sapna. There can’t be two heroines
living in the same house, right? Very nice.
What a punch! Ms. Archana, it’s ten years
since we’re married. – Okay. She’d always be like,
‘Hey, go there! Sit down!’ ‘Go and stand there.
Go for the shooting.’ ‘Go that way.’ So, her direction
has always been good. So, one thing is clear.
That at home Kashmira guides directions
to Krushna at home. So, what was that lacking
that you casted him in the movie as well? Let’s sit and discuss. Actually, we were making
a nice and sweet film. – Okay. First, it was only Rishabh
in the movie. Then, at home.. I’m quite fond of acting
and writing. So, I’d think of the role
while going home. ‘Krushna, I have
a very good role.’ – Okay. I was wondering to cast
that actor. And he’d say,
‘Forget it. I’ll do it.’ – Okay. So, saying this, he has grabbed
almost seven roles. Great! Wow!
– No.. Don’t applaud for him.
– Why? Ms. Archana, that’s not to show
his creativity or talent. To save money..
– He did that to save money. Rishabh, I heard when Krushna
offered you this movie.. Yes, sir.
– He gave you two options. Either you can take money or you can join
him to ‘The Kapil Sharma Show’ for the promotion. How do you feel? Sir, the movies come and go.
– Yes. ‘The Kapil Sharma Show’
is at number one and it will remain. So, sir, it’s a big day
in my life. Thank you so much. Wow, Krushna, did you hear that?
He, himself is saying the movies come and go. I asked you to praise Kapil
and not to insult me over here. But I like your confidence,
Rishabh. Very good. Thank you. – Don’t be scared
of the producer. Wow! What are you cheering him for? He’s insulting. He’s saying,
the films come and go. Don’t mind.
But I wonder why I feel they both are happy to be
on the show than the movie. Krushna, is it true
Rishabh is your cousin? Yes, buddy. The one who accuses me
of Punjab nepotism his wife is a writer, director.
He’s a producer, himself. The hero is his cousin. I still bring everyone
from Punjab here. He didn’t think beyond
his family. That’s right.
– Kashmira. – Yes. Krushna is your husband
and also your producer. What is he better as?
As a producer or as a husband? Well.. Do you have any other question? What was that.. No.. He’s very good
as a husband. – Okay. He’s a bit less good
as a producer. – Oh! But he’s very good as a husband.
I.. If he was not a good husband..
– Right. He’d never give me
an opportunity to direct. You know, he’d never produce. Because he really believes
in me. So, I.. – So sweet. Love you, buddy.
That’s wonderful. But Kashmira.. – And I..
– ..Would you have fights at the time of production?
– Yes. Means I just don’t believe in fights.
Like.. The biggest.. – Punch!
– Biggest.. – The biggest punch. Rishabh, you worked with them
for so long. Tell me honestly. How much
is Krushna scared of Kashmira? Sir, if I tell you honestly,
he’ll ask me why are you saying so?
– I got you. Wow! Krushna, the interview is done. Hey, buddy,
you didn’t do that part. You ask about the rumours.
– Yes. You tell the stars that there
are rumours about them. That’s for the film stars.
In your case, it’s a lie. Buddy, ask me.
I even wrote some rumours about me and brought them..
– So sweet! Buddy, please ask me. So, sit like a producer.
– Okay. – All right? Oh..
– Buddy, like a producer. You’re not
a deputy commissioner. Fine.
So, here are some rumours. Krushna, the first rumour is that you’re so used
to wear the women’s clothes that you wear Kashmira’s maxi
while going to bed. That’s nonsense that I wear them
while going to bed. I wear them
even during the day. Kashmira, it’s heard
when you told your name to Krushna for the time
that you’re Kashmira he went to Kashmir to meet you because he felt you’re
calling him to Kashmir. Oh!
– Is it true? – Oh! – Wow! Who wouldn’t hire
an auto rickshaw to go from Andheri to Bandra worrying about the money
that’ll be spent would he go to Kashmir? Wow! Is this the promotion
or the demotion going on? Just a second.
Okay. The security guys
are calling up. – For what? It seems the 12 Russian girls
are fighting outside. Did you not pay them
for their act in the movie? Hold on a minute. We have only eight
for the movie. Why are there 12 now? It has to be eight.
How can it be 12 of them? The Russians are bad
at counting. I checked and I paid them.
There were eight of them. Where did the four extra
come from? I need to check.
I have to. Go take a look.
Something is off. He is hitting the road. I’ll go take a look. Kashmira, now that
he is gone. I have something
to tell you. He flirts a lot with others
over here and with guests. Is that so? Splendid. Don’t you get mad? As long as he is getting paid
for that, I am fine with it. The day he flirts for free,
I’ll break his head. Hi! Sapna! Hi! Hold on! Krishna’s movie is being
released in November. A big hand for him! Listen up! You have to watch
the movie! Why?
– Why? I hold your mother
as captive. I do not have a mother. No mother? I am holding your father
as a captive. I am an orphan. What are you laughing for? You got no parents?
How did you arrive? East or West!
– Our movie is the best! Krishna is producer!
– Movie is a hit! Keep chanting this
all the way to the outskirts! Movie will be a hit!
– Movie will be a hit! Movie will be a hit!
– Movie will be a hit! Movie will be a hit!
– Movie will be a hit! How are you, Brother? Hi, how are you? Enough with the show.
Sit down. It feels great. I saw the promo.
It was great. A big hand for them. Thank you. Do you know? It does not feel that
we are talking to guests. It feels like I am talking
to my sister-in-law. Am I right? Sapna, she is the director
and he is the main lead. Look at that. Krishna used
his own money for the movie but he did not take
the lead role. Do you know why? Why is that? – Since the lead in
the movie tries to kill himself. And she saves him. And had Krishna been
the lead his life would be
depending on her mood! Correct. That is why..
– Stop lying, Sapna. I know them both.
They love each other. Is that so? Come and take
a look at their bedroom. They have a huge bed. That is a good thing. But she hogs it all. Poor Krishna..
– Where does he sleep? On the carpet
on the floor. And she stomps him over
on her way to washroom. Listen to me. And that is not the worst
of it. She sleeps with her
high heels on. Is that how you speak
to her? She is your sister-in-law. She should act like it. Why? Here I am all grown up and she is.. All grown up and yet she did not cast her
with this dude. So you want to be
in the movie? I was speaking of Archana. Are you done, Sapna? Leave now. Not so easily.
I have to speak. We have
a beauty parlour. Oh God. We have various
massages. We have a massage,
‘Let me die’! What is that? We get four people
from the family. They go to the theatre
enjoy the movie and have a great time. What about the massage? I am here to promote
my movie. And we have one more. Kashmira massage. What is that? We call two customers. We get them naked. We put some oil on them
and make them sit in a corner. And we give a massage
to the other. The other guy
is jealous. Superb. Who is it? Hello? You cannot find Krishna? Those Russian girls
are causing a scene now. What? – The ones
that are not paid yet. They won’t find Krishna
as long as I am here. Let us go and see
what is going on. Yes, let us go. It is the promotion
of your movie so let us go and handle it. Guys, we will be right back.
Stay tuned. Bye! Be back soon! Kapil!
– Kapil! Thank you. Ms. Archana, our guests
for today. You would be most pleased.
– Why is that? He is known
in the entire world. But he is from Punjab. He is a Sardar. He is a cricketer. He also gives
commentary. Before you get a stroke,
let me tell you it is not Mr. Sidhu. We are having
the one we hold dear.. The second specialist
of cricket! Turbanator Harbhajan Singh And his wife, the beautiful
actress Geeta Basra. Welcome, sir!
Welcome! Welcome! A big hand for Bhajji
and Geeta! Bhajji! Ms. Geeta!
We welcome you! You look so sweet! Thank you.
– Thank you. Congratulations.
Mr. Bhajji. It has been four years
of your marriage. – Yes. When he came here
for the first time he was single.
– Yes. The next time he came,
he was married. He came here
with his wife. And now they both
have a lovely daughter. So what about
the next episode? We’ll figure
something out. Make an announcement today..
– What? Should I announce
the release date? Geeta, I am serious. I told the manager
that Harbhajan was single when he came here
for the first time. During his second appearance,
he was married and he was accompanies by you.
Now, he is a father. What has changed
in Mr. Harbhajan? I think, both of us
have changed a lot. We have changed
after we had a baby. So, I think both of us
are quite patient and.. It’s fun.
She’s here today. She’s very lovely..
– She’s there.. Welcome, Hinaya! Hi, Hinaya! Congratulations, guys.
– Thank you. Bhajji, welcome.
Come on, ma’am. Thank you.. Everyone from my team
are fans of cricket. We have a question for you.
– Yes.. He asked me to ask you, whether
it is harder to understand the Duckworth-Lewis method..
– Yes.. …or to understand
what upsets your wife. Ms. Geeta, it was his question.
I just conveyed it. It is easier to understand
Duckworth-Lewis method and it’s harder to understand
my wife. – Nice. Actually, I do not understand
Duckworth-Lewis method but I haven’t understood her
over the past four years. We were dating for eight years
before we got married. If he still doesn’t
understand me, then who will? Sir, Ms. Archana has a question.
– Yes. She said, two prime ministers
attended your wedding. – Yes. The ex prime minister,
Manmohan Singh and our current prime minister,
Narendra Modi. She wanted to know
what they gifted you during your wedding. Ask him yourself. Why do you want me to ask him?
– Mischief-maker! It is said, daughters are closer
to their fathers. – Yes. Whom is Hinaya closer to? Whenever I am home,
Hinaya is always with me. Whenever she wakes up.
she wakes me up first. – Okay. She doesn’t care about
when I returned home. – Okay. She wakes me up first. She spends more time with me
when I am home. He travels so much,
she hardly sees him. So, when he’s there,
she wants to spend time with her father.
– Very good. Hinaya is very lovely. Hinaya!
Hello! Do you want to say something? What is it? She’s so confident.
– I love you, Dad. Oh, my dear! Thank you! So sweet! Ma’am, she just said that
to her father. She didn’t say anything to you.
– What about me? What?
– I love you, Mom.. I love you, Mom.
– I love you, dear. That’s so sweet. Dear, say ‘I love you, Uncle’.
Do not humiliate me over the television. I love you, sir. I love you, dear! Dear, the old lady..
Ms. Archana.. Sorry!
Ma’am.. I didn’t mean to say it.
I am sorry. She can address me as ma’am. She can say, ‘I
love you, ma’am’. What happened? She refused to say it. Sir, this is a question
from our team. – Yes. You were born in Punjab
and Geeta was born in England. Yes.
– When you play against England do the players of England
address you as Bhajju or brother-in-law? If the match is played
in Southampton which is closer to her hometown.
– Yes.. Some of the crowd addresses
me as ‘brother-in-law’. – Okay. But.. – They must be members
of your family. – Yes. They get tickets for free,
so they attend the matches. If the match is played
elsewhere.. – Yes.. People address me as Bhajji.
– Okay. Wow! You had told me earlier
about the free tickets. When I met her,
I wanted to meet her again so I invited her to the IPL
match. I sent few passes to her and invited her to the match. She gave those passes
to her driver. He was sitting comfortably
on the pavilion and he was watching the match.
– He wasn’t my driver. I gave the passes to my friend. The driver had accompanied us
for dinner. Her driver accompanied us
for dinner. The viewers have few questions.
They have made me the representative. Here’s a question. Is it difficult to handle Hinaya
or Harbhajan? You said, it’s difficult
to understand me. – Yes. I would like to say,
it’s equally difficult to understand my husband.
– Yes! You mean, regardless of
whether a person is a superstar at the end of the day,
he’s a husband. – Helpless lad. Yes. Who is the pacifier when you have a row
with your wife? Don’t you know? It hasn’t been a year
since I got married. When does the quarrelling start,
sir? It depends on a person’s
tolerance. I will surely get rebuked today.
– Yes.. I might get rebuked..
– She’ll reprimand you here. Sir, who’s more stubborn
among Geeta and Hinaya? My daughter listens to me. It’s difficult to convince
my wife. Who apologises first
when you have a row? You’re such a liar.
Don’t even lie. He has never said sorry
till date. I always apologise. All right. I agree. Who gets more anxious when
relatives and guests come over? It’s me.. Your relatives who are watching
this show they must be thinking, you
don’t like to have them over. What is the best quality in Bhajji, according to you? Bhajji’s very funny and he makes me laugh. If a man
can make a woman laugh that’s the best quality
in a man. Wow!
– So.. Also, he appears so strong but he’s very.. – Tender.. He’s very softhearted.
Yes. You said, the greatest quality
in a man would be his ability
to humour his wife. You’re saying this because your husband
is a cricketer. He humours you,
that’s a complimentary trait. The women
who have funny husbands they feel differently. I mean.. That’s what I have heard. You’re experienced. What according to you
is a bad quality in Bhajji? He is very stubborn.
– Obviously, he is. He was adamant
about being successful. It is a good trait,
in a good way. Sir, what is the best trait
in Geeta, according to you? The best trait in her
is her opinions about me are always different
from the rest. She perceives me differently. I come across many people
in my life who have known me only as
a cricketer and a friend. She tells me her opinions regardless of whether I like it. She gives me her honest opinions
when I do something wrong. You’re lucky to have her
as your partner. That’s amazing. Sir, what would you like
to change about Geeta? She’s always late. She’s consumes a lot of time
to get ready.. – What! I am the most.. I get ready and.. Who got ready first, today?
– What? Who got ready first?
– It was me. Please come to a conclusion.
You can fight over this. Geeta, we have often seen the wives of cricketers praying
as they play. Have you ever done when he is bowling?
– A lot! A lot! Often it so happened that when he scored
a wicket and I was in a particular
position and if I was
passing through a door and gets a wicket
then I stay still. A bit superstitious about this.
– Yes. I used to think if this
could be lucky for him? So you remained still
in your current position if Bhajji scored well?
– Yes. Wow.
– No, I.. I was very superstitious. I used to be on the edge
when he used to play. I heard from someone that there was
a great match. One that changed my life. One where I scored
a hat trick. Rahul Dravid and VVS Laxman
had a partnership. We lost no wickets
on day one and they kept batting.
– Yes. And the next day
Saurav Ganguly was out. And he sat there
in a towel. Sitting out there. We all sat there
for the day. The next day match begins and he removes
his shirt and sits in a towel. And we all sit there
to keep the wickets. Oh, wow.
– And even teams do that. And many people do that. We thank them all. For all those who pray
for us. There are so many cameras
on the ground and there is no chance to cheat. And you cannot lie be it losing a catch
or a misfield. Yes. – Or be it a six hit
on your ball. And the cameraman shows
your face. So how do you control
your emotions? You do vent out
some words. It is very difficult
to control. And then I bow down
and vent it out. Those words do come out. Virat does it better. And..
– Is that so? Ben Stokes, a player
from England. It is always said that
he sees Virat as his fan. When asked why, he said that Virat calls out his name no matter who scores. Geeta, has it ever happened that you watch a match,
Bhajji is bowling. And then a six is hit
on his bowl. So do people look at you? No, never.
– Like, what’s going on? Come on now. I started praying.
– We often see this. If one brother makes a mistake
the other gets an earful. So same goes
for you, I guess? Put a hand on her
– Okay. and swear
that you will tell the truth. I swear. Apart from her, who is
your favourite actress? You married her. So you mean acting skills
or looks? So that is how you see them? I like some by their looks and some by their skill.
– Some by their work. I like the beauty
of Ms. Katrina Kaif. – Okay. And when it comes
to acting Priyanka Chopra is best. Geeta, I ask you the same. Who is the best cricketer
apart from Bhajji? Jaspreet Bumrah,
the best bowler. Okay. Virat and Rohit
are best batsmen. Superb. Ms. Geeta, you started following
cricket after meeting Harbhajan. You weren’t following the sport
before that. – No, I wasn’t. So.. – I didn’t even know
who he was. Oh! That’s not possible.
Do you believe it? Wow..
– I swear.. I-I didn’t know
how good he was. I didn’t know what he
did in the sport. I didn’t know whether
he was a bowler or a batsman because my family..
My father and my brother weren’t sports enthusiasts. Harbhajan, my dad
was a huge cricket fan. I had a classmate and I think
I had told you about him. Harvinder Singh.
– Yes.. When he got selected, I was told
the principal was throwing a party for him. I was famous in college
as I used to do plays. I wondered who could
be more famous than me. I went to him and asked him. I was told he got selected
to the Indian team. I asked him if he was going
to play with Sachin Tendulkar. I ended up taking
a picture with him. You.. Harvinder Singh..
He is from Shayata. Yes, Shayata.. He came from there and his
English was poor just like mine. We were sitting together. Once, while we were
with our lawyer a soldier came in. He saw us, the two
cricketers and he said, ‘Hello, guys.
I am Lieutenant Rajinder Singh.’ He was like, ‘I am right-handed
Harvinder Singh.’ Oh, God! Our writer, Anukalp Goswami..
– Yes. He is a hardcore cricket fan. He was telling me that
Sehwag and you would be scared, even after playing
well, whether you’d be picked as man of the match
or man of the series for you’d have to speak
in English! – That’s true.. T-That’s when things got
tough for us. I always used to say that
playing the game was easier. Speaking English was tough.
Once.. – He has improved a lot. Did you practise at home
or it happened with time? No.. Let me reveal it now. Accidentally, I dated
a Sri Lankan woman. Don’t say anything. Please. Let him speak. He is honest. Continue. My English was weak,
so.. I used to learn English
by listening to her. My roommate
was Ajit Agarkar. – Okay. I always listened carefully
to what he was ordering. He’d be like..
‘Can you please send me this?’ Next time..
‘Could you please send me this?’ He uses ‘can’ and ‘could’
and that confused me. I didn’t know both meant
the same. – Yes. – Yes. I..
– I got to know about it now. I..
– I see. I-I decided to place an order in English when he isn’t the room. Okay. – I picked up
the phone and called room service. I said, ‘C-Can you
could you please..’ I could hear, ‘Yes, sir’ from the other end. I kept on saying it as I didn’t know what to order. I was under so much pressure. Once, while I was in an elevator
in South Africa.. We were on
the under-19 tour. I didn’t know what
to do then. When I was asked something,
I’d start to eat! We will talk..
– That’s a nice idea. Yes. When I was asked
something in English I’d delay the answer.
– It gave you time to think. Yes. An elderly woman entered the elevator. She looked at us and I was
different from the other boys as I had a turban.
– Okay. She touched my head and asked
me, ‘What is this?’ Oh. I didn’t understand and I kept on saying, ‘Religion..’ Religion. – I ran out
of the elevator when it stopped. If she had asked me,
‘What religion?’ You’d have been in trouble.
– Yes. This is about a former cricketer
and I won’t reveal his name. He went to Australia
for the first time. – Okay. Kids surrounded him
for his autograph and they asked him
certain things. He said, ‘Kapil, even
the kids are speaking English!’ So sweet! Harbhajan, you didn’t tell everything
about the Sri Lankan woman. No.. I dated her but I have no idea what impressed her. She started talking to me and there were times when she
would speak nonstop for 2 hours and I would just listen to her.
– I see. Time would just flow by. She made me learn English.
I began to try. I started saying,
‘How are you?’ and so on. I started to learn. By the time you met Geeta,
your English was improved. It had become better
but not a lot. Last year, I commentated
in English for Sky Sports. In English? – Wow!
– Wow! He speaks very well now. You are fluent now. Harbhajan, hats off. Your
journey is really inspiring. Thank you. Your aunt is here! Kappu.. Greetings. Look who is here!
Bhajji and Geeta! No.. Come, dear,
touch my feet. How are you? Why didn’t you tell me? You could have told me
on the phone. Is it necessary to tell you who comes here, Aunt?
You come here for no reason! It’s my aunt from Delhi. My aunt lives in Delhi.
Her name is Kammo as well. Oh, God! I am an aunt
to both of you! How is Ms. Avatar? She doesn’t answer
the phone. Every time I make a call,
I am asked, ‘Who is this?’ Is she fine?
– Yes. Please sit. Aunt, how do you know
his mother? I used to live in Jalandhar
before moving to Delhi. – I see. Ms. Archana, he used
to play in our courtyard and that’s how he became
a great cricketer. Wait. Didn’t he come?
– Who? Lavi Shastri. It’s Ravi Shastri
and not Lavi Shastri. You may call him Ravi. But he had a lot
of love for me. Hold on.
Bhajji is here. I forgot about this. Here you go. What is this? What is this bill for? The bill is of the window glass
he has broken in his childhood. I am very smart.
I have kept it safely. He was very young. I was against
hitting kids. Anyway,
we shouldn’t hit children. It’s wrong. I have never beaten
a child up. I used to bite them
on the back. Dear, do you still have
the mark or you got it removed? No.
It would be here. Really?
– Yes. She must have suspected you
because of that mark. I had bitten him. The winter season
will arrive in Punjab soon. I have brought
– Wow. Bhajji, hold this. Keep talking to him
and help me make the ball. Make the ball. I will knit a sweater
for you. Bhajji is a great cricketer and he will wear the sweater
knitted by you. Should I make Sachin
knit a sweater for him? Bhajji!
– Yes. Geeta, do this.
Spread your arms. She will make the ball. By the way, Geeta wouldn’t
remember. But, Bhajji
would remember this. I had come for your marriage. I had given Rs. 101
as a token money. I did not get your envelope.
Where was it? You didn’t get my envelope and I didn’t get
‘Paneer’ in the curry. You are saying
that you had given Rs. 101 as the token money. You didn’t give
even that to me. In fact, she danced
with the guests who come to give blessings and told them to take
50 percent. Very bad. So what? Even you take our 80 percent
by talking to us. Let me tell you that my
grandson is a DSP in Punjab. When a DSP removes
his helmet then why don’t you
give a fine to him? What do you mean? I have seen in cricket. He gets tired
while bowling and the batsman
takes his helmet off. You should fine him. Okay. When the spinners bowl,
then the batsman take off their helmet. I don’t know all that. He is the DSP. When you see
the constable in Mumbai they wear a helmet
while riding a bicycle. Do you know anything
about cricket? You have been
talking rubbish. Won’t I know? I hail from Delhi
and I wouldn’t know? When he knew nothing
about cricket then I was a coach. A cricket coach? No.
‘Gilli-Danda’. How is this game
related to cricket? It has many similarities. I have stolen so many sticks.
I used to give it to him. Then he used them
as a wicket and practice his bowling. Bhajji..
– Yes. I have seen
girls wearing short dresses. They are fair
and dance with the pom pom. When you bowl.
– Yes. They dance. Is there anyone
you dance for? Yes. What!
– Absolutely. I dance for her. This is out of fear. That’s true. What were you saying? Shame on you. His wife is sitting here
an you are saying this. So what? I am creating differences. No. No one can come
in between them. Because his bowling style
is ‘Doosra’. Please go from here. We are chatting.
An interview is going on. What is this interview for? He is already a DSP. You won’t make him
the commissioner. Dear, I want
to ask you something. When you play a match then two
serious looking men stand there and wear a hat. What is their problem? The boys run after the ball. What’s with them? Why do they look upset? They are the umpires. They have to give
the decision. Who are they
to give the decision? That’s right. He is the DSP of Punjab. Why don’t you take
your own decision? They are no one
to take the decision. I had seen it.
– Okay. You were in
Priety Zinta’s team, right? No. I had seen you. Earlier, you were
in Priety Zinta’s team. Then you joined
Ambani’s team. Tell me truth. Did you go there
on your own or because of the fear
of the Ambani’s? They had blocked
your SIM, right? They will unblock the SIM
only if you join their team. Aunt.. I forgot to tell you
one thing. Get out.
Enough of all this. I want to tell you
one thing. What?
– Sit down. Oh, God! What happened? Are you getting bored? Yes.
You are troubling them. All right.
I’ll get going. But you must bring
that player next time. The one who plays
from the lady’s quota. Who?
– Who? Mahela Jayawardene. Mahela Jayawardene. Gosh! She couldn’t make the ball.
She spoilt it. Thank you, dear.
Thank you. It will take six years
to knit a sweater. Mahela Jayawardene. Convey my regards to him. Ask him if his wife is fine. I will get going. Geeta..
– Bye. – Bye. Hello, Heer.
How are you? She was too young. I couldn’t make it
that day. Otherwise, I would have
performed the ritual. We feed honey
when the baby is born. I would have
performed the ritual. I will perform the ritual
for you. All right. I shall be back. She was so funny. Sir, when a person
is popular.. You know it better
about the film industry and the cricketers. There are a few rumours
in the market. There are a few rumours
about both of you. Geeta, there’s a rumour that
you people met a religious night because your name is Geeta
and his name is Harbhajan. Is it true
or it’s a rumour? It’s a rumour. Where did you people meet? We met in Mumbai. We met over a coffee. Okay.
– Yes. Since when did Punjabi’s
start drinking coffee? Absolutely. There’s a rumour
that even though you are the DSP but you salute
your wife at home. This is a rumour. Is this true? Geeta, there’s a rumour
about you that when you go shopping then you take Harbhajan along and make the shopkeeper
click selfie with him and ask for a discount. They see him
and give the discount. Right.. Sir, there’s a rumour
about you. You are scared of elevators. That’s why, you use
the stairs. Yes.
It has happened many times. You are seriously scared? Yes. If I am alone
then I prefer the stairs. It stopped working
a few times and I got really
scared. And I get breathless. You are claustrophobic. Yes. If I don’t have
a company.. Then I prefer stairs. You don’t care about
the floors. Yes.
No problem at all. It’s good for health. Absolutely. He is already fit. You should start using stairs. Sorry, I forgot. You own a bungalow. Geeta, there is
a rumour about you.. What? – ‘You’ve bought
a telescope from Germany ‘to keep a watch on Harbhajan.’ What kind of a rumour is that?
– Wherever he goes, he runs into a friend of mine.
So, I don’t need to keep any such thing. You’ve spread out
your entire network. Everywhere. – Sir, we’ve heard
Geeta saying that she loves your bowling action.
Is it true? Yes.
– Okay. How many of you out here feel
that you can copy Harbhajan’s exact bowling style? They can do it and Ms. Geeta
will finalise it. Please come over. Call all of them. So, first and foremost,
introduce yourselves. I am Akash..
Akash Pathak from Nerul. Okay.
How about you? My name is Rohit.
– ‘Rohit.’ Okay. What is my name?
– Hi. – What? Okay. Rohit, where are you from?
– Sir, I’m from UP. Do you feel that you can copy
Harbhajan’s exact bowling style? Yes. – Then why don’t
you get selected in the team? You can’t? Okay, how about you, ma’am?
– My name is Sheetal. I am from Pune.
– Welcome, Sheetal. A warm welcome to you.
– Thank you, sir. How about you, sir?
– My name is Gaurav Gambhir. Gaurav Gambhir!
– Gaurav Gambhir! – Yes. How are you related
to Gautam Gambhir? I am his fan. – I see! His fan?
I thought you are his relative. No, sir.
– I mean.. First and foremost, post World
Cup 2011, I’ve been his biggest fan because the greatest visual
was his emotional moment when our team had won.
– Fine. So, I love you, sir.
– Thank you. Let’s start with the lady first. Will you do the bowling first? This is your ball, and Ms. Geeta
will decide if you’ve.. Use one ball at a time. Come on, bowl. Hold on. You mixed styles
of two to three people. I didn’t see Harbhajan’s
style anywhere. I could see Dara Singh’s style. This was exactly his attitude. ‘How dare you copy
my bowling style!’ But it was funny.
Thank you. Please come, sir. – Thank you.
Thank you so much. Thank you. Akash, please
come. It’s your turn now. What was that?
– What was that, sir? He’s feeling very cold. Guys.. By the way, it’s nice.
You do stretching also. Akash, thank you.
Today, even he got to know that he does even this.
Please come. Rohit, who shaped
your eyebrows using the sword? Sir, it’s a design. – What’s
the use of having such a cut? Sir, I like it. – I see.
It’s looking very nice. Please come. I felt that you tried catching
the rooster before bowling. I feel this is not a style
of any cricketer of any country. Please come, Mr. Gambhir.
It’s your turn now. I feel that you’ll copy
his exact style. Which one? That’s fine then. Well done!
– Superb! Amazing! Wow! It was superb! Yours was the closest – Yes. If anyone can defeat you.. My wife will do my action.
– Ask her to bowl. Oh, really!
– Come on, ma’am. Bring it.
– Come on, Geeta! – Oh, God! Geeta..
Come on, Geeta! Sir, please come and bat. Give him the bat. Geeta Basra is bowling now.
And before bowling, she scared him with her eyes. How’s that! Thank you. Sir, what would you like to say? There was no cheating in this.
There was no trick. Her ball hit the stump directly. What would you like to say?
– Nothing as such. I was focusing on her action
and not on the ball. Had I focussed on the ball,
I wouldn’t have got bowled. Geeta had you clean bowled
years ago. Even today, she had you
clean bowled.. – Clean bowled.. Thank you, guys.
Thank you.. Thank you.
Thank you, Rohit. Thank you, Sheetal.
Thank you. Sir, your fans would like
to speak to you and they want to ask you some questions. You can express your wish. Yes, sir.
– I am Vikas from Pune. Mr. Harbhajan, we’ve heard that
you are entering movies soon. Really!
– Yes. Even I’ve heard
about a Tamil movie. Tamil movie!
– He’ll tell us about it. How will Tamil sound
in Punjabi accent? Sir, Punjabis speak Hindi
with great difficulty. Are you going to speak
in Tamil, sir? – Of course, yes. Tell us something about it. There’s a Tamil movie in which
I’ve been asked to work for the last 5 or 10 minutes.
– I see. That was
a challenge for me so tough that
it felt not 5-10 minutes not 5-10 hours
but 5-10 months since language was so
tough to speak – Actually. but I can speak a few
things like, ‘Vanakkam, sir’ ‘Enna solre ma’. But we want to hear
a legendary Hindi movie dialogue which was spoken by
Sunny Deol from movie ‘Gaddar’. The dialogue is ‘Be a father and send
you daughter in marriage.’ ‘It will be good
for everyone.’ ‘otherwise if this Jat
becomes angry, may will die.’ And you have to say
in Sunny Deol’s style. Let’s say I am Amrish Puri she is Ameesha Patel
and you are Sunny Deol. ‘Hey, will you
take my daughter?’ Well done.
– Wow.. You are not supposed
to praise me, but fight me. Okay. Be a father and
send you daughter in marriage otherwise if
this Jat becomes angry I will break
everyone’s bones. Kill everyone. You did a great job. I have one dialogue
for Geeta madam. How dare you? Go ahead.
– If you please permit me. Go ahead. Yes.. Geeta.. If I open my eyes, it is Geeta If I close my eyes,
it is Geeta. If I play cricket, it’s
Geeta. I don’t play, it’s Geeta. Oh.
– Wow. My eyes want
to see only Geeta. I love you Geeta. So sweet. Wow..
– Sorry, Harbhajan Sir. Thank you for
such a good request. Because of you, we could
hear Harbhajan say dialogues. Thank you Vikas.
– So sweet. Thank you so much.
– So sweet. Please be seated. Is there anyone else?
Yes, madam. I am Vishaka
from Mumbai. Hello Vishaka. I have a request for
Mr. Harbhajan. – Yes. I have heard your
voice. You sing very well. Me?
– Yes, Sir. On the social media.. Please sing a romantic
song for your wife. That’s my request too.
Well said. By the way, have you
ever sung for your wife? I do keep humming
and my voice isn’t so good. but I don’t know
when you.. – He has two albums. Yes, definitely.
– Oh. Come on. Let’s do it. Madam,
come here please. Anyone else
wants to ask questions? Yes, sir. Hello, Mr. Harbhajan. Hello.
– Hello, Mr. Kapil. Hello. – Myself
Bharat Salunke from Pune. Actually, sir,
I am a big fan of yours. I have a wish. That you do
the Titanic movie pose with Ms. Geeta for me. I don’t know whether
Mr. Harbhajan knows to do it or not. But I had seen one
of his pictures in which he was
standing like this. He and Suresh Raina.
– Yes. Do we have that
picture with us? Yes. – Show it. See here. No, don’t
show such pictures. People might get
all the wrong ideas. It was raining during a match. This picture was taken
in Galle stadium in Sri Lanka. It was raining,
we were sitting idle. We were getting bored,
so we made this Titanic pose. But the fate the Titanic
met with, often.. Actually.. Actually, sir, even
my wife has come with me here. Is it? – If you teach us,
we, too, will do it.. You both do it. …and get our pictures clicked,
sir. Please, sir. Come on. Who has to do it?
Me and.. – Play the music. Play the music. This is the most
weird request. What? First of all,
hi to everyone from Haryana. Hello. I welcome you on behalf
of entire Maharashtra. Thank you, sir. Sir,
I don’t have any questions. But, sir, I have come here
only to take your blessings. Okay. Why?
– She is asking why? Ma’am, I will be climbing
Mount Everest next year again. I have already climbed it once. Ma’am, next time,
I will be staying 24 hours on Mount Everest. Wow.
– Wow! You’ve already climbed it once,
is it? – He is doing it again. Yes, ma’am. Come to the stage.
Come up here please. That’s amazing! Superb! That’s amazing. Hearty welcome to you. Thank you, sir. So, when had you climbed
Mount Everest for the first time? Sir, I had summited it in May,
2016. And you are going
there again next year. Yes, sir. Had you forgotten any belonging
of yours there or what? No, sir.. No, sir. It is really a great thing
to summit Mount Everest once. You have done it
once and are doing it again. In the field of
Mountaineering everyone is giving their
best in their fields. Yes. – I want to do something
different in this field. Okay. – That’s why, I want to
represent India’s flag by staying there for 24 hours.
– Wow! Wonderful! Superb. Thank you, sir. See, everyone is
appreciating you so much. They are applauding.
– Thank you. And take best wishes
from Mr. Bhajji. He is our star. Thank you, sir. When will you be going
to summit it this time? I will be going there to
summit it in April 2020. Okay, our best wishes
are with you. And we pray
that you be safe. Thank you..
– Thank you. Thank you
so much for coming. Sir, during my childhood
I used to watch your shows. And I have seen sir
playing cricket.. What do you
mean by childhood? You think
I was born in 1950? Do you talk like this
on national television? Mr. Kapil, I was
talking about him. I praised you so much. He was telling about me.
– What.. You’re taking
the credit, sir. That was
Bishan Singh Bedi. Thank you so much.
– Thank you, sir. Thank you.. Take this. You want his photograph?
Sir, sign here. Thank you, dear.
Thank you so much. First and foremost,
when a person holds the national flag. It is a very proud
moment for that person. For sure.. And no matter
which field you are into. You should
always remember that the entire nations
prayers are with you. No matter how much
hardship you face never let go
of the national flag. The national flag
will never let you down. Hoist the flag and it will
lift you up. – Amazing. And promise us that when
you’ll break the world record and set a new record,
you will come on our show. Please do come.
– Thank you so much, dear. Thank you.
– Thank you. Take care buddy.
Take care. Give the mic to me. Hey.. Hey.. Oh, man..
Come.. Greetings, sir. Greetings, Ms. Archana. Mr. Harbhajan Singh. Greetings, Ms. Geeta. Mr. Kapil, buddy.
– Pal! They are kids
from my locality and they wanted
to see you, sir. Look at Mr. Harbhajan.
Greet him. Hello, sir.
– Hello, sir. They greeted him. I feel very happy
to see you. Sir, I wanted
to ask you something. Did you propose to Ms. Geeta
or did you appeal? How about marrying me? Mister,
you started talking rubbish as soon as you arrived? Who will listen when
I talk rubbish while leaving? But, Ms. Archana.
– Yes. Did you see
the Punjabi nepotism? What?
– I said something about Mr. Harbhajan and this
guy has a problem with it. Something is going on here. I forgot for what
I have come here. It’s finished,
I have come here to scratch. I’m joking,
it’s just a joke. No,
the thing is that I got to know that you both are coming
on the show today. They both kids
from my locality. I have got them here
along with me. We have something that
we would like to show you. Can we show it to you? Sure..
– Yes. – If you don’t mind? Ready?
– Yes, sir. We want bat and ball. B for ball, c for cat..
– B for ball, c for cat. Have we come to a school? School is going
on over here? What did I teach you guys? You both have to say
‘How’s that’.. Okay. How’s that..
– How’s that.. Guys! First, let me
say something. I’ll say something first,
after that you both say that.. You are going to start
talking before I do? Come on, guys! We want bat and ball. Why didn’t you
both say that line now? You didn’t
say anything. First, say something. Something? Something.. How’s that..
– How’s that.. Shut up.. My bad, sir. I can’t trust you both.
Forget it. I’ll say the first
and the last line. I’ll do everything, all right? Sir, sorry. We want bat and ball,
how’s that.. It was a very
small poem, sir.. Very small poem..
– Indeed. Very small poem. You guys couldn’t memorise
such a small poem? And you guys want
to become cricketers. I’ll ask an easy question
– Yes. and let’s lighten
up the mood. I think that they
are nervous after seeing you. And are not able to talk. I will make it easy,
tell him who is your favourite
cricketer? Virat Kohli..
– Virat Kohli. Shut up! Come here.. There is a basic
rule of flattery. The person who is sitting in front of you
is your favourite. Learn something
from Ms. Archana. All right. For the next
fifteen minutes they both are your
favourites, all right? Let’s not talk
about cricket, sir. Let’s talk about
something else. Who is your
favourite actor? Harbhajan Singh..
– Harbhajan Singh. You guys are going
to ruin everything. He is a cricketer. You are going too far. Stop buttering,
he is not an actor. You guys are useless.
Get out. There is no get out
in cricket, there is only out. All right, master.
Out! You didn’t raise your
hand to say that it’s out. Out!
– That’s says it is a six. Out!
– He is out! We’ve got the wicket!
– Darn you.. Sorry.. Let us talk.
No, who do I talk to first? Ms. Geeta or Mr. Harbhajan?
Wait a minute. Let me toss. Toss. If it’s heads,
I’ll talk to you, sir. And if it’s tails,
I’ll talk to ma’am. Heads! I shall talk to ma’am
now. – Hey! You said you’d talk to Mr. Harbhajan
if it’s heads. – Yes. He changed it.
– Heads and tails don’t matter. The woman is the head
of the family. So, with due respect,
ladies first. Ms. Geeta, I must say,
in the field of choreography you are accomplished!
– What do you mean? Well, yes..
– I mean, skilled. What do you mean?
– Accomplished. Hey, I told you to explain. Well, I mean to say
what I had said earlier! This man troubles me a lot! All I’m saying is, you are
an amazing choreographer. You have taught
thousands of people to dance. Please teach me
some steps as well. She is Ms. Geeta Basra and
the one who teaches dance is Geeta ‘Ma’.
– Right. Well she is also
the mother of a kid. So, technically,
she is also Geeta Ma. But, Mr. Harbhajan.. – Yes?
– I wanted to ask you something. You practise in a net. So, can you tell me how many
gigabits your net provides? Hey, it’s a netting,
not the internet! No, netting is used
to catch fishes. You can’t play cricket in that.
He talks rubbish. Gosh! Both are different nets! Of course, you would know
about nets and traps. After all you have trapped Sony. Kapu Sharma,
I know all your secrets. And I’m going to
divulge it someday. I’m stuffed with secrets.
– I can see that. You do look stuffed. If you don’t even know
anything about cricket why are you wasting our time?
– Really? I know nothing? Yes.
– Do you know it all? All right, answer this.
How is Duckworth Lewis related to Terrence Lewis? Tell me. If you know everything,
answer it. Everyone says, ‘Brian Lara’.
So, what is he bringing? And when? Tell me!
If you know this, tell me. Yes, that’s right. Tell me, why Mahela Jayawardene
uses the gents’ washroom though his name is Mahela,
which means woman in Hindi? Speak up!
– He has a point. If you can, answer it. He knows
nothing. – He has a point. I do have a point, right, sir?
– Yes. Kapu Sharma, if you can’t
answer these, you should quit. And if you can’t even do that,
you can break wind. But, sir, since you are here,
we will play a two day match with you.
– I told you that there is no such thing as a two day match.
We have a one day match test match and Twenty20.
– God! This man! What did I say?
– What? I said, I’ll play match
with you today. Not tomorrow but today.
– Oh, today! ‘Today’! Kapu Sharma, where are you lost?
What’s going on? What’s going on? – Kapu Sharma,
during your show’s repeat telecast, you should
attend English classes. Learn to stitch English!
– ‘Stitch’! – ‘Stitch’! Anyway, you are here, sir.
– Yes. It’s our job to entertain you.
The thing is I have a treasure box of jokes.
– Yes. Jokes! So, let me present you
the second joke. What about the first one?
– He loves the second one. He told you! Shobha, you see.. Shobha abuses only boys
and not girls. Tell me why.
– Why? Because it doesn’t suit
girls to abuse others. Yo-ho! I will tell one more..
– Sure. Once, a woman says to her
husband that she is going out for ten minutes and asks him
if he needs anything. The husband replies, ‘No,
that will be enough for me.’ Sir, that’s all I had for today.
I shall go now. Wonderful!
– It was fun to meet you. Thank you. Ms. Geeta, thank you. I’ll go. All right, bye!
– Please come.. Please give a big hand for
Ms. Geeta and Mr. Harbhajan. It’s time
for a beautiful selfie. Ms. Archana, please come. Sir, please come forward.
Yes. Thank you. Kapil.
– Yes, sir? Which brand shoes
are you wearing? Sir, I wear any brand
which they give me. I don’t have a fixed choice.
– Well, I’ve launched my brand.. Wow! – …of shoes,
leather jackets and all leather products.
– Wow! So, I have brought you a gift.
– Sure.. I love gifts. Kapil is thrilled
to receive a gift. Thank you, sir. Oh, wow! Nice! Superb, sir!
I love this! Please give a big hand to
Mr. Harbhajan and Ms. Geeta. Thank you so much for coming,
sir. – Thank you. Ma’am, thank you so much.
– Thank you! It was fun. It is always
a pleasure to meet you. And you all too stay happy
and keep smiling always. Keep your surroundings clean
and keep watching ‘The Kapil Sharma Show’.
Goodnight. Be blessed. Thank you, love you all!