Computer, how do I put the Joker in Arkham Asylum? Quickest route. No freeways. Computer, do you hear me? *dramatic music* Hello, Master Bruce. I have just taken away your computer privileges. Gasp! Sir, it’s time for you to stop this unhealthy behavior. You can’t spend the rest of your life alone, dressed in black, and staying up all night. Goodnight, Alfred. Sir, it’s morning. Hiss! Arrgh! You need to take responsibility for your life, and it starts by raising your son. I’m sorry. I… literally have no idea what you’re talking about. The young orphan you adopted at the gala. Wheeeee! Ooo! *thump* I thought I was being sarcastic! Hello, secret camera! What? It’s the Bat Cave! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, oh my gweeaaauughhh *smack* *gasp* Batman! Whoa! You’re darn right “whoa”! Wait. Does Batman live in Bruce Wayne’s basement? No. Bruce Wayne lives in Batman’s attic. Wow, do I get a costume? Don’t touch that. Woohoo! Computer voice: “The Mariachi” Batman: That one is culturally insensitive. Computer Voice: Night Terror. Robin: What do we think of this? Computer voice: Glam Bat. Robin: This one. Batman: Absolutely not. Wait, what’s that one there? I love it! My only trouble is these pants are just a little tight. I got an idea. RIIIIIP! That’s better! Now I’m free! Now I’m moving. Come on, Batman! Let’s get groovin’! I can only look you in the eyes right now. Are you ready to follow Batman? And maybe learn a few life lessons along the way? I sure am! But first… Where’s the seatbelt? The first lesson is… LIFE DOESN’T GIVE YOU SEATBELTS. ♫ Black and Yellow ♫ *crash* Oof! Alfred! I have incredible reflexes! *Joker laughs* Woohoo! UGH! Oh, oh my goodness! I am SO sorry! As soon as I get back to the Bat Cave, I will make sure that Alfred puts seatbelts on there. But for the time being, I’m just gonna put my arm right here. And we’re just gonna gently ease outta here. Real gentle-like.