This is why you should have a girlfriend – Stand Up Comedy By Joteen Patro

This is why you should have a girlfriend – Stand Up Comedy By Joteen Patro


I was supposed to start the show.. Its great I didnt Because I dont care if you judge me I just dont want to be the first one being judged Like you can judge me but later You can look at me and say you are bad But I will prefer if you look at me and say “You are… ..also bad” All of my jokes are like that..dont have any expectations Agar show k baad apko mera performance pasand aaya I’ll take your autograph You’ll be like “Hey Joteen..mast tha” I’ll be like “Can you give me that in writing” I have to show it to other people Next time show kharab ja rha hoga I’ll be like “Idhar kya likha hai” You know what the fun part is Last year I quit my job to do this Well nice reaction Some people are looking at me like Ohhh do you need any donations But there are too many positive people out there They are like “oh my god” “You are following your passion” “You have guts” I am like “No..I had guts” “Now I have regrets” And no money Mera bank balance ek baar zero touch ho gaya My bank started teasing me They are like your current balance is 0 Tere paas paisa nahi They were actually rubbing it in my face Your current balance is 0.00 Tere paas ek paisa b nahi hai Tabhi dusre bank se msg aaya Get your zero balance account instantly I am like “I already have one” Ek dusra negative mein hai..usko zero balance kar de They are not even taking me seriously This is the message I got..very brutal Dear Joteen Not Hi Dear..because they think I deserve empathy Dear Joteen, your account has been secured No hacker can hack into your account And transfer all the money you have Your money is safe with us I am like I’ll deposit something Roz roz mat bhejo yaar They are not even taking me seriously Maine apna aadhar card bank se link kiya They are like “Zarurat nahi hai” Humne msg kiya kya Nahin naa Hero kyun ban rahe ho It is mandatory for others, not for you Your account is like a pseudo account We use it for training purposes But I have a back up plan My girlfriend has a job I am definitely marrying her I added marriage to my bucket list and ticked it Main break up nahi kr sakta She can Ek baar maine bhi break up karne ka socha tha But then she got a promotion She needs me now Who will spend all the money Great thing is I am totally depended on her She is not at all depended on me..amazing I want her to think that she is dependent on me So that she doesnt break up right If she ever wins an award she can atleast be like I would like to thank Joteen for being there I dont know what he was doing But he was always there Even when I was not looking for him He was still there The only contribution I have in my relationship is my bike So whenever she is going to office I am like I will drop you She is like “No I can get an auto” I am like “I am your auto Give me 50 rupees I will drop you Give me 100 I will pick you up also We recently got engaged Thank you..thank you..thank you guys Only 2 ladies are excited about this I told my friends. They were like congratulations dude “Are you nervous for the wedding” I am like “No its the same girl” If on the day of the wedding the girl changes I’ll be excited If on the day of the wedding she calls me Hey I cannot come, I am sending my friend I will be like “Nice ..which one?” Itne time se date kar raha hun I wont be nervous Because its like ordering a pizza And getting a pizza Yahi hona tha..yahi hua hai..badi baat kya hai If I get a burger, I’ll be like This is strange But I like burgers too Arrange marriages are different for men and women For men its like someone else orders a burger for you And you are like “really” And the burger company will give me money Can I have 2? Abdul got 4. He doesnt even share Ok I will adjust with one With women its like someone else orders a burger for you And you are like “I dont even like burgers” They are fat and brown I like sandwiches They are slim, white and healthy My whole college life I had sandwiches Now you want me to have a burger No I am used to sandwiches Plural More than one at a time I can take 3 right now One of my friend was getting married And she was so angry about her arrange marriage All she wanted to have was a fling With me I am like why!! I look like a burger Your father got a sandwich Why do you want to have a burger She is like “Today is my cheat day”

Only registered users can comment.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *