Trump Thinks He Bought America | The Daily Show

Trump Thinks He Bought America | The Daily Show

Donald J. Trump has shaken
Washington to its core by refusing to recognize
the power of Congress to impeach him,
which is amazing. ‘Cause they were like,
“We’re subpoenaing.” And he was like,
“No, I don’t care.” Donald Trump has the confidence of a white woman pulled over
by the cops. Yeah. Just like, “Ma’am,
I need to see your license.” She’s like, “Well, I need
to see you get out of my face. And give me your badge number,
Mister!” The question is,
why does the president think he can get away with this? Well, for more perspective,
we turn to a man who gets away with things
all the time. -Neal Brennan, everybody.
-(cheers and applause) Neal, everyone is perplexed. Why doesn’t Trump seem to respect any
of America’s institutions? I’ll tell you why, buddy. Because Trump doesn’t think
he got elected. Trump thinks he bought America, and now our whole country
is just some business he owns. It’s why he doesn’t understand
all these investigations. Imagine if you bought a Quiznos. Then a week later,
you find out you’re being impeached by the
guy who spreads the mayonnaise. (laughter) Oh, come on. Neal, Neal,
I know Trump is extreme, but there’s no way he thinks
you can buy a country. Dude, he tried to buy Greenland
eight weeks ago. (laughter) And it wasn’t even for sale. (applause) He’s just so out of his mind
that he looks at the globe the way the rest of us look
at Zillow. I’m telling you, Trump doesn’t
think he works for America. He thinks he owns it. Listen to how he talks. My generals and my military… My economy is phenomenal. And I told my guys at NASA… All I know is I want
to put my miners back to work. My farmers.
I love my farmers. Oh, look at my African-American
over here. Look at him. (audience groaning) -MAN: Damn!
-Wow. The last president to say “Look at my African-American”
was Thomas Jefferson on a date. -Wow. Wow. Neal.
-(audience groaning) Okay, so, so, so,
Trump thinks he bought America, and that explains all
of his behavior? Now you’re getting it,
my African-American. I’m-I’m just African. But, yeah. Trevor, Trump thinks everyone
in the country works for him. It’s why he’s sending
his attorney general around the world to focus
on his personal vendettas. Trump thinks the attorney general
is generally his attorney. (laughter) I bet when Trump met the
secretary of transportation, he was like, “Great. So you’re
the guy who call my Ubers?” Yeah. Yeah. Okay,
but that doesn’t explain why Trump ignores
the Pentagon’s advice on, like, Turkey and Syria. It completely explains it. From Trump’s point of view,
it’s like, “Why is my military in Syria? “I’m not in Syria. I’m in America.” And that’s where
he wants the military. In America doing two things–
having big, beautiful parades and blocking Mexicans
at the border like a camouflaged Hodor. So this is how
Trump sees everything? Yeah, man! It’s why
he hates the press so much. He’s like, “Why is the White
House press corps talking shit about the White House?” To him, it’s a betrayal. It would be like if you hired
a deejay for your wedding, and when you and your wife
came in, he was like, “Chris and Jennifer,
probably not gonna make it. 18 months tops!” (imitates party horn blowing) (laughter) All right. All right, Neal, so, so, if Trump thinks
he bought America, then is there anything
that people can do? Yes. But we’ll have to turn to America’s most reliable
institution– Kickstarter. (laughter) We pool our money and buy
America back from Donald Trump. Dude, that is gonna cost…
It’s gonna cost… -(applause and cheering)
-Like, that is so much money. I don’t… How-how do people afford that? Here’s the good news, buddy. If America truly is
a Trump property, eventually,
it’s gonna plummet in value, and we can buy it back
for pennies on the dollar. Bad news is,
there’s gonna be KFC buckets and spray tan juice everywhere. Neal Brennan, everyone!

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  1. Idk I am terrified of cops. Maybe though not in the same sense of black people though I guess. I don't fear being shot, just having to pay a ticket.

  2. Americans who is your DADDY? Trump is our daddy, like it on no like it. Sort of speak America.
    So Papa Trump bought our country in 2016. In 2020 we the people must buy the country back and return it to the American People where it belongs.
    Register to vote and let us put President Yang in the White House. UBI'$ will liberate Americans and unite the Country. Back to you America from Palau.

  3. This is actually extremely accurate. He's a lot like the 2 year-old I work with whom I have to insistently tell every day that not every toy in my room is her personal property. His state of mind and maturity is like age 15, max.

  4. it's exactly like you trevor…you are a south african citizen who works in the US and now you thinks that you are an american and have the rights to interfere in american elections and her leadership…

  5. Thereโ€™s nothing wrong with the US president saying NASA and the military works for him, he is actually completely correct as he is the head of the US govt.

    Also to act as though the press is some holy entity fighting trump is just wrong

  6. Trevor the terror, is just putting words in people's mouths again. Just starting more trouble. Another propaganda media.

    The Pussy Grabber, Children Cager, Pathological LIAR

  8. No, Traitor Trump works for Putain. That is what we need to understand. Everything Traitor Trump does is to the benefit of his ruler Putain.

  9. spot on. it's plain as day… Trump cannot separate himself personally from the office of president or the country. he cannot even begin to process that he isn't the country like a king or devine ruler. he has the political understanding of a 3 year old.

  10. "Look at my African American" ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ
    Didn't realize slavery was a thing again

  11. Trump doesn't think he owns America! He knows Israel owns America! And American military should be in America, and not committing murder around the globe!

  12. Does Neil have to constantly look directly into camera 2. Jesus I havent gotten that much direct eye contact since my priest tried to take my pants off.

  13. I think the quote was something like: โ€œThe Senat will decide your fate!โ€ โ€œI am the Senat!โ€

  14. Doesn't the word "bought" means you have to pay for it? Can'r remember him paying for anything, going bankrupt 6 times.
    Remember those invoices for his ralleys? Still open.

  15. The trouble with that is that he didnโ€™t send the troops home, he sent them to Saudi Arabia! He said that the Saudi will pay him! In other words, he is making our soldiers into his mercenaries!

  16. It was the only choice left on the Election between him and Hilary Clinton. People had to choose him imagine the war monger Hilary in Power…๐Ÿคฏ

  17. There is only one reason that Trump does not warry, he didn't do anything wrong…

    Simple, just you bunch off gay lefties try to make something out of nothing…

  18. everyone must understand and the media won't tell you this but trump comes from a whole different type of world a world we heard of and maybe seen but never really lived it yet since a baby he had everything handed to him all yes men surrounded him can you really picture him in a low income neighborhood talking to a single father/mother about WIC programs etc NOOOOOO he doesn't know the world of hardships he has lawyers and spokesman etc so for them to attack his spoiled bratty behavior is like attacking a mental person for crying out loud lol THINK

  19. Trump owns America ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
    Look at my African American???
    I died๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

  20. He did totally sound like a slave owner when he said "look at my African Americans". I don't understand how any black people support him.

  21. โ€œChris and Jennifer..probably wonโ€™t make it..18months top..โ€ i dont know how to make that shooting sound sorry guys

  22. This is very funny and also completely true. At his current state of dementia it makes perfect sense, since buying and selling real estate is all Trump has ever known. Apparently Russia is the highest bidder.

  23. Donald Trump was looking to completely discredit Biden as a candidate so that he would
    Not even have bother with the work required to face Biden one on one.

  24. Trump is a Landlord and treats America like one of his properties. We the people are the Landlords of America , heโ€™s got to go!!!

  25. The US military should be marching in parades and guarding the border. We can now add going to Saudi Arabia to operate as mercenaries.

  26. Great analysis! And I love the end! Buy it back. Just one doubt: is Trump red/orange because spray tan? Omg, why does he want not to be white? It seems he likes that color of skin ๐Ÿ˜‚

  27. exactly right, this is not a joke…it is absolutely true that stupid tRump thinks not only America but also the whole world is his property….he is %100 crazy

  28. FACTS ๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

  29. ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘ USA is for sale? Increรญble!!!,,,,๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ‘ป

  30. One antidote to Trump's delusion might be for reporters to preface every question they ask Trump with "as a public servant….".

  31. You know Brennan is right about everything. It all sounds funny and cozy but there is more truth than we'd like to admit .

    I guess we'll get America back during the next recession. Yay us…

  32. Trump doesnโ€™t think he bought America. He thinks he won it in a game show. โ€œI got the most ratings than anybody, everybody says so…..!โ€

  33. We started a kick-starter to buy America back.
    If has raised over $25.3 million from over a million individual contributors.
    It is called Bernie Sanders Campaign

  34. Bill Maher just saying the same thing on his show… Seth Meyer Jimmy Fallon all saying the same jokes and same talking points.. man Trump is dulling people's creativity

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