Trump’s Ukraine Call Released | The Daily Show

Trump’s Ukraine Call Released | The Daily Show

When we left off last night, the Democratic announcement
of an impeachment inquiry had Trump up against the ropes,
and so in response, Trump said that he would release
a transcript of the phone call he had
with Ukraine’s president, and Trump claimed
this transcript would prove that he is “so innocent,
the most innocent person.” But now we’ve all seen
the transcript, and I’m starting to wonder
if Trump even read it. A just-released transcript
of a phone call shows President Trump asking
Ukrainian president Zelensky to investigate
his political rival, former vice president Joe Biden. And in this call, the president
repeatedly stresses how much the U.S. does
for Ukraine, and then he says… (reading): NEWSWOMAN: On the call,
the president said… (reading): He’s using
the Justice Department to forward his political aims,
and you’re right. Bill Barr is stuck
in the middle of this. This is the, again,
the definition, if we look up in the dictionary,
of abuse of power. This is abuse of power. Yes, the transcript
of the call is out. And not only
did Trump definitely ask the president of Ukraine to work with his
personal lawyer/vampire henchman to investigate Joe Biden, he also tried to rope in the
United States attorney general. And if that happened,
that’s a big deal, because a president
can’t go around using the Justice Department
as his personal TaskRabbit. That’s not allowed, right? It’s the same way
an employee at Domino’s would get into trouble
for drying his laundry in the pizza oven, okay? You can do it,
but don’t be shocked when Domino’s
impeaches your ass. And you might be wondering, “If this phone call
is so damning, “why did Trump even release
the transcript? Only an idiot would do that.” -Exactly. And, also…
-(laughter) -And, also…
-(cheering and applause) this is what Trump does. He does this all the time. Like, Trump is the only person who’ll do something so bad
right out in the open that it makes you question
whether it’s actually bad. Right? It’s just, like,
a powerful thing that… It’s the same way that Kanye can
walk around basically in rags, but because he does it
so confidently, we’re just like,
“I guess that’s a style now? “I wish I looked like
I was attacked by hungry badgers?” (laughter) And if you’re thinking,
“Wait, how do we even know exactly what Trump said on
that call to a foreign leader,” well, apparently,
all calls in the White House are recorded
for quality assurance purposes. Now, we should note
that at the bottom of this log, there is a disclaimer
that this is not a “verbatim transcript
of a discussion.” A senior White House official says that there is
voice recognition software that puts the transcript out–
what it calls a transcript– and then those who would listen
to the phone call look over that to make sure
that it is an accurate reading. Yes, the software that monitors
the president’s calls writes it down,
and then someone checks it. And can I just say I feel so bad for whatever
voice recognition software has to try and make sense
of what Donald Trump is saying. ‘Cause, you realize,
that computer is programmed to recognize
normal human speech patterns, not the Donald. He’s just out there like,
“And, so, I say, I say, “they were so big. Not as big.
Electoral college. “China. The wall. Big time. “Bigly and all. That’s me.” (laughter) Yeah, honestly,
the computer probably listens for ten seconds to Trump, and then it just throws itself
into a bathtub like, “Kill me.” (laughter and applause) So, look, the transcript is bad. But as bad as this seems
for Trump, this transcript has turned into
a political Rorschach test. Right?
Democrats see a smoking gun that proves
Donald Trump abused his power and deserves to lose his job. Republicans see a man
who’s innocent and is just passionate
about cracking down on corruption in Ukraine. And I see my dad
forgetting my birthday, even though we were born
on the same day. So, if you’re on Team Trump, this transcript wasn’t
a disaster– it was a total win. This call did not– this is my opinion– did not contain a smoking gun, did not contain anything
that could be used to impeach the president
of the United States. Now that we’ve seen the tram–
transcript, there is no there there. From my point of view, to impeach any president
over a phone call like this would be insane. The bottom line here is that,
in this transcript, there’s no quid pro quo,
there’s no improper leverage and the overall tone
of this transcript is that it is
mutually laudatory. You take a look at that call.
It was perfect. I didn’t do it.
There was no quid pro quo. “That’s right, folks.
There’s no quid pro quo. Because I would never speak
Latin on my calls.” So, in a nutshell, that was day two
on the road to impeachment. The White House released
the transcript, Congress has officially received
the full whistleblower’s report and we’ll have to wait
to find out what happens next. And it could be anything. We could find out
that Mike Pence also pressured Ukraine on a call or we could find out the secret
identity of the whistleblower. Spoiler alert,
I think it’s Tekashi69. Guy’s snitching on everybody. -(applause)
-Until then, until then, we don’t know anything. What we do know is that Trump’s defenders
have already decided on their big talking point
and that is that this whole thing
is a nothingburger because there was
no explicit quid pro quo. In other words,
President Trump may have asked the Ukrainian leader
for a favor, but he didn’t say, “Do the favor
or no military support.” But let’s-let’s be honest. Like, you don’t need to be
explicit to set up a shady deal. I mean, if you’ve ever watched
any Mafia anythings, you’ll know that explicit is the
exact opposite of what they do. I mean, it’s just like
this scene from The Sopranos. Listen, Danny, we just want you
to know how glad we are a guy like you is on that jury. That mob thing,
that Junior Soprano trial. (register dings) I got that. CASHIER:
$14.20. Hey, hey, what are you doing? It’s a privilege. Hard-working guy. Wife and two kids. Performing a civic duty
we should all take part in. We know
you’ll do the right thing. Now, this may shock you, but that man
was not actually being friendly to that other man. But I guess it’s too subtle
for Trump and his defenders. I guess if they wrote
for The Sopranos, that scene would have gone
a lot more like this. Hey, Danny, I need you
to find my boss not guilty or we’ll murder your family. Oh, I see. Like a quid pro quo. Exactly. This is a quid pro quo. (laughter, applause) You figure it out for yourself.

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  1. Oh I get it THE VICE PRESIDENT under OBUMMER it is ok to say we will withhold 1 billion dollars if Bidens son was not cleared and the prosecutor fired is FINE! This is a total collusion and corruption of the Vice President of the United States. This is soooo wrong. Mr. Trump said to look into the interference of the 2016 election but Biden can threaten to withhold money and that is OK. We know who the criminal is now.

  2. Now Trump is an idiot beyond belief. However if the dem was in charge would you pursue the same story? Noah from South Africa? Be at least neutral at some point, you do good pieces on things often but the bias hence the ratings and viewers tell you get on a band wagon. What about Shady nuclear deal Clinton's had with Russians? Why never talked about that? The donation in exchange for favour? Why not talk about that? Can you at least present both sides of the people? Oh of course not, it would sink the show. Bro, if you do any journalism you need to present a story from both sides and let people decide. Why do Snowden then? Why didn't you ask him some DMC questions? Too hard isn't it? What it seems all if allowed on one side and nothing on the other. Have a balance.

  3. Hey Trevor Noah how about you get your head out your ass and tell the people that in January of 2017 Hilary Clinton and the Democrats called the Ukrainian president asking for dirt on Trump which politico reported on, and are now trying to cover up after Guiliana found out about it in his investigation. Quit being biased and tell the whole truth.

  4. Live in New York State and want to change party affiliation in order to help Andrew Yang get nominated? New York democratic primary is open to registered dems only.
    CHANGE OF ENROLLMENT (N.Y. Election Law Section 5-304(3))
    An application to change one’s party enrollment for 2020 must be received by the board of elections no later than October 11, 2019.

  5. Live in New York State and want to change party affiliation in order to help Andrew Yang get nominated? New York democratic primary is open to registered dems only.
    CHANGE OF ENROLLMENT (N.Y. Election Law Section 5-304(3))
    An application to change one’s party enrollment for 2020 must be received by the board of elections no later than October 11, 2019.

  6. Sure would love to hear exactly how any part of it was illegal……you have to be a complete dumbass to think any part of that is illegal or something every president doesn't do

  7. Isn't Ukraine an ally? If this call was so bad why is it that Adam Schiff had to change the dialogue of the conversation when reading it to congress? All while Biden literally did quid quo pro on camara???

  8. Doesn't MATTER whether there was a quid pro quo. Just the fact that he asked a foreign country to help him find dirt on a political opponent is enough.

  9. Man this clowns say anything to put trump down and stupid people believe it he fights against corruption and he wants America to be great

  10. Obama and Clinton spied on Trump using foreign gathered intel, which failed. This is and has been an attack against the VOICE of the American PEOPLE.

  11. I wish people would stop ignoring one side or the other and look at the facts. Almost all of us don't hate Trump because he's Republican, we hate him because he's an idiot, a spoiled brat and a monster.

    Look at the facts! What good has he done for the country? Especially that outweighs everything terrible he stands for, everything bad that he's done, and everything he wants to do. I'll wait for an answer that I can't prove wrong.

  12. Think I might kill myself if Trump wins again. Not even kidding. We need to do something about climate change and his dumbass just wants to go backwards.

  13. How is trump still in office?!
    Seriously Nixon got kicked out for a light amount of bullshit compared to this

  14. I really can't find what is wrong with that call, a crooked Biden got paid for business of his office and he wants to know that,what's wrong with that?

  15. You dumbass idiots over there at The daily show don't even realize that that's Trump's job to investigate. and he is all within his power to ask a foreign country to investigate a crime that may have been committed.

  16. But why are y'all so up in arms about Trump wanting an investigation on bidin. Didn't the Democrats do the same thing to Trump, Oh I see it's a crime when Trump doesn't but when Obama and Hillary does it it's okay. 😂🤣

  17. Why dont you Democrats just stfu about him already. He hasn't been able to do ANYTHING because you've been so but hurt about Hillary losing the election. You've been so far up his ass bitching and complaining about everything he hasn't been able to breath give the man a fuckin break

  18. utter garbage, you democrats dont even want to investigate the truth, just believe a lie. The president never even mentioned money to the ukrainian president and there is absolutely nothing illegal about the president asking an ally to investigate crimes commited by an american in another country, thats totally legal!

  19. Wow! It's been a good week for Trump.
    Federal Court rules Trump doesn't have to release his taxes for 2020 election.
    Biden tanks due to his admitted corruption. And Sanders drops out from heart attack!

  20. You all do realize that president Trump hasn't committed any crime right? Donald Trump is smarter than you all think. That is what is hilarious about this whole situation.

  21. 3 questions- 1) Is there a chance that Ukraine was involved in the "Russiangate" fiasco? 2) Did Hunter Biden get a highly paid job that he wasn't qualified for with help from his dad? 3) Where in the transcript did Trump say that he would or wouldn't do something for the Ukrainian help on looking into the corruption that the prior government was involved in?

  22. No matter what Trump is better for America than anything the left has presented the country and this is the funniest Trevor Noah can do. Sad on both points. Spew hate speech below👇👇👇.

  23. Speaking of evil. How's that demon Ilhan Omar doing. Love the media silence about her campaign taxes and divorce. Above all, she is the absolute worst. I bet she's incapable of complimenting a human being without sounding condescending. She makes my skin crawl.

  24. But biden did the same thing in the Ukraine under obama.demanded that the prosecutor be fired or a billion dollar in aid wouldnt be sent.

  25. Trump not impeached for drone murdering & invasions etc because they are ALL impeachable for those satanic CULT crap..

  26. Lol,Biden abused power by stoping prosecution, not Trump for trying to get justice even his main goal is nit justice))

  27. didn't clean get his dick sucked and then lie to the Congress in front of his wife and said no like any man nine times out of 10 would do and still get a peach for just lying to Congress

  28. Before Trump started his bad decision to be president people new him as a rich guy who sleeps with supermodels and has unique style of a hair piece

    I really feel bad for his family
    (HES JUST LIKE HIS DAD) because they have to sit with him and have to just smile and go with his nonsense but the look of shame they all have can't be hidden

  29. Fucking dumb asses. Biden , Obama and Hillsry will be the ones in trouble. Seriously anyone who beleives Schiff should just commit suicide. Libtarded morons.

  30. It seems the fagtards on the left got the story all mixed.
    It's Biden and his son who are the criminals in this case. This Trevor needs someone to bash him a good one upside the head.

  31. I didn't vote for Trump and I don't care to much for Glenn beck. I would say there is some evidence about Biden and documents beck pulled together. If this shit had Trumps name on it the dems would be crying. My issue both parties is you are to dam perfect to ever recognize your problems. Just look at the document he put together and make a decision.

  32. Best friends, co-workers, business leaders and leaders of countries routinely do favors for one another. It's called working together. Attorneys may call it quid pro quo. And requesting an investigation of political wrongdoing is not inappropriate as long as Tump did not ask the Ukrainian President to lie, to make up stories or to cover up facts. It is funny how everyone quickly forgets that if Joe Biden's son is using his dad's position of power for personal gain, that is wrong! And for Trump to ask that it be investigated, is not stepping out of bounds… as long as Tump is not asking for a predetermined outcome, or doing it to create a bogus smear campaign. The truth should always be accessible to Americans so they can make better decisions when it comes time to vote. Both Democrats and Republicans have their dirty secrets and various types of quid pro quo deals and for the Democrats to call Trump out on this is the joke. Neither party has the moral high ground. Trevor, thank you for bringing humor to our embarrassing political process. With your wit we can at least find some humor in it… If the Democrats can find a better candidate for president, please do so. If the Republicans can find a better candidate for President please do so. Better yet, change change the presidential voting process so that an Independent candidate can actually win! In the mean time, we are fortunate because Trevor Noah will continue to have a daily supply of new material to work with to keep us laughing.

  33. THE Swedish Elite soldier/ Nazi has not answerd to the challenge instead he sits by His radio/ Telecom Network and microwaves our ears.

  34. "Hey, Danny, I need you to find my boss not guilty, or we'll murder your family."
    "Oh, I see. Like a quid pro quo."
    "Exactly. THIS IS A QUID PRO QUO."

  35. So tired of this bullshit……. and we all know how democratic the daily show is… Trevor is a fuk'n moron libtard..

  36. HEY TREVOR… why don't you tell everyone and make fun of the ONLY 2 Presidents in the history of the USA that were Impeached, They were BOTH DEMOC-RATS!!!

  37. And hey why your at it… tell everyone how Biden forced out Ukraine's top prosecutor in order to benefit his son. . who just so happen to be under investigation at the time … fuk'n pieces of shit….

  38. Always considered myself independent but I seriously couldn't ever vote republican again even if they had a guy like Obama. Just ridiculous

  39. I love how he basically says he can be convicted, even though Trump didn't say the thing that would be illegal (at all), but being that it could be implied, he should be impeached. I don't think that is how the legal system works… but who knows…

  40. DIMASH Phenomenon!Top songs the best !!!the best singer in the world🌍 incredibly talented cosmic voice!Many talented different languages ​​from around the world!🌍❤🔥 DIMASH 6 Octaves man C2 to D8!!!

  41. Isn't it just awesome how someone immigrates to America then supports politicians that want to completely change the country? Shit all over the constitution and wreck the country with socialism… great idea. Why come here if you join the party that hates America? If America is so racist why would he come here?

    These socialist regressive democrats are a joke.

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