Uganda – Even Worse at Elections Than America: The Daily Show

Uganda – Even Worse at Elections Than America: The Daily Show

You know,
this presidential campaign has been the craziest one
in memory. But here’s the thing. Yes, Americans are losing it, because Americans are going,
“This election is insane!” But trust me, trust me on this. It could be worse. And it is worse. (laughter) -In Uganda.
-(audience groaning) In fact,
that’s their national motto. (laughter) You see, you see, last week, Uganda held
its presidential election. And the incumbent president,
Yoweri Museveni, was reelected
to his fifth term in office. Now, to break it down, this guy
has been in power since 1986. Yeah, just think about that. He’s been in office
for 30 years. Like, in the Ugandan version
of Back to the Future, whenever Doc Brown asks Marty
“Who’s the president?,” Marty goes, “It’s the same guy.” -(laughter) -“It’s the same…
Don’t ask the question. He’s a dictator.
It is the same guy.” Now even though he won, this was the toughest challenge
Museveni has ever faced. And here’s the crazy thing,
number one, about this election. His main opponent. WOMAN (on TV):
Museveni is currently facing a serious challenge
to his presidency, where his main challenger is his former personal doctor
Kizza Besigye. (laughter) I can’t think of anything
crazier than… You… -(laughter)
-Just take a second. I can’t think of anyone that
would be worse to run against than your own personal doctor. -(laughter)
-He knows everything about you. It’s gonna be
the worst attack ad ever. (with accent):
“The president is corrupt. “He abuses his power. “And just between you and me, “he has a rash on his scrotum that we can’t seem
to get rid of.” (laughter) “We have tried many ointments, but the rash
does not disappear.” (laughter) Now, uh,
speaking of Donald Trump… (laughter) He has done so well despite
putting in so little effort. But in Uganda, presidential
candidates put even less effort. Check out Kizza Besigye. He’s campaigning
while sitting on top of a couch on top of a car. You know when you’re on
the couch, and you’re at home, and you’re like,
“Hmm, I’m hungry. But I don’t want to get up
and go to the kitchen.” That’s what this guy did
while running for president. -(laughter) -He’s sitting on top
of a couch on top of a car. Honestly, like, for Uganda, that’s the most American thing
I’ve ever seen in my life. Yeah, the only thing
that would make it even more American
is if he was going through the drive-thru at Wendy’s
at the same time. That’s the only thing. Now, the Ugandan elections
were littered with fraud. The president shut down
social media because it was benefitting
the other candidates. And, uh, remember
the president’s main opponent, his personal doctor? Well, he was arrested four times
during election week. And on election day itself,
it just so happened that his stronghold
didn’t receive ballots until it was too late. NEWSWOMAN: Some voters waited
more than five hours because ballots
had not been delivered. We came as early
as 6:00 in the morning, okay? And we’ve been here–
they are six hours late. Six hours late. Even Time Warner Cable
is like, “Damn…!” (laughter) I mean, America has its problems
when it comes to ballots, but at least Americans
get their ballots. Ugandans would kill
for hanging chads. Hell, they’d take
some dude named Chad as long as he had
some ballots with him. Anyway, the point is, obviously, President Museveni
was easily reelected, and with Donald Trump
also winning over the weekend, we thought, you know what,
given the choice between the two
power-hungry maniacs, who would voters prefer? So we actually asked
some of our friends in Uganda to talk to their people
in the street and ask, who would they choose,
Trump… or dictator Museveni? Donald Trump or Museveni? Whom would I vote for? On pure entertainment value,
Donald Trump. Donald Trump is a…
is a serious radical. I don’t think Ugandans would
really put up with Donald Trump and his terrible hair. I have an uncle
like Donald Trump. He’s a man
who is a loose cannon. One thing I know,
he talks a lot. Damn, he took on the pope.
Respect. And usually what we do
at family gatherings is just give him
a bit of alcohol, and he’ll say all this nonsense
that will excite us. I say give him a chance. That would be…
like asking a Muslim if they would have bacon or ham. To-to make it simple, give me a
rope, I think I’ll hang myself. Wow.

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  1. Cambodia has been being under the same leader for 30 years. Whether the Priminister of Cambodia is dictator or not, I have no idea.

  2. Trevor, how are you a genius at European language accents, but your African accents are either Nigerian or South African? 🙁

    Oh! so, impressed with the Ugandans responses. Awesomeness! Yes, I agree 100% with "Bacon or Ham"

  3. Of course
    That is your culture
    That is what you are
    That is your culture
    You just leach on another culture
    Make laugh to genocide
    Make laugh to accent from african people who speak English

  4. We all thought that, that's his last term bcoz he's now 75 years old guess what he removed the age remit 😭 😭 😭

  5. Dear Museveni, if the problem is chair kindly go with it and leave us alone we will buy a new one for our new president .
    #Mission2021 Robert Kyagulanyi (Bobi wine) for president

  6. it's funny how americans call every president who rules longer a "dictator", but in the same time they have presidents puppets of the deep state, so what's the difference? lol

  7. Hey Noah you fucking Congoloid. You have the balls to compare Uganda with the US ? Why don't you go back to the African toilet bowl you came from? What is it….South Africa?

  8. I just learnt something new. Any president as a matter of fact anyone working longer than 10 years in one place or serving more than two terms is literally a dictator.

  9. Uganda is so crazy… I hear so much about Uganda. I never hear about stuff from Tanzania! Or Siera Leone! Or Burkino Faso! Most people haven't even heared of Burkino Faso!

  10. Have black people ever invented anything to do with glass or the telescope or Communications or the radio or the photograph, if by themselves could Africa ever invented a walk in space? People need to Google which burning in Kenya, and see how relevant this guy even is

  11. Love from uganda
    Atleast better than those interviewers from America when Kim kardashian came to uganda. U pronounced his name well

  12. Museveni is actually a good president though, he brought peace and stability to Uganda, people will believe anything they watch

  13. Wow this is so racist, why would you imitate an accent like that. Only because they are black doesnt mean they cant speak english

  14. trevor noah was funny, but he's a lot funnier now! you can see obvious changes in the delivery of his jokes between videos from 2016 and recent daily show's

  15. USA has no dictators president, but all USA president are murderer killing innocent woman and child in arab countries, USA president are imural, supporting Saudi Arabia for killing, raping,tourturing, abusing overseas workers, American people always looking others, but they can't see what there country did,

  16. Uganda is also the biggest recipient of foreign aid. It, therefore, pays to be a president of Uganda. link here:

  17. I'm Ugandan, the rich are very rich, and the poor are very poor. And this "Museveni" plans on standing for presidency in 2021… I hate it. no Dev't.

  18. This dude is radically biast against trump. I use to watch his crap show.. But I stopped when I saw all the good things trump has done for USA .

  19. "So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark—that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back." Hunter Thompson

  20. This is an invaluably didactic contribution. He is tackling two issues at the same time: entertaining and educating people about international news and another continent. Great job, Noah.

  21. wow this guy is genuinely funny.

    really love that he has the guts (these days) to make fun of the many many governments in africa who are a joke in and of themselves.

  22. Uganda became worldwide phenomena because of this video- outrages Gay campaign activist that brought huge amount of tourists worldwide to see this beautiful country
    full version of this piece of art 17 min )))

  23. Yeah… who the fuck wants trump as president right? Oh… those fucking dying from hunger Africans that don't have jobs? Well… yes they do NEED trump but my question was who WANTS trump not NEEDS.
    Fucking stupid Americans….

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