watching movies with your mom


Hey, let’s watch a movie. I’m playing videos games mom. Oh, boohoo you do that everynight, come on lets watch a movie. I’m in the middle of- We’re gonna watch a movie now. Scoot over! What do you wanna watch? Mom! Let me just finish this game. M-Mom! Well maybe if you put down the dumb game boy once in a while and start talking to girls of your own age. I talk to girls- Do you tal- Are you gay? N-No what? What? No! If you’re gay you can tell me. M-Mom I’m not- You know we’d love and accept you I know but I’m not gay though He’s gay. Well, what do you want to watch? I don’t know just pick a category. W-Well, this was your idea so. This was not my idea! This was your idea. W-Well people were talking so fast who knows who’s idea – You were talking- Oh, Legally Blonde Two! I haven’t even seen the first one. Me neither, lets watch it! Why would we start on the second one? Well, we’ll figure it out as we go, we know she’s blonde ahuh Okay Alright, comfy? I was comfy before you even came here. A- Okay, shhh you’re missing the movie This is not the movie, this is the FBI warning. It’s, Well. How am i supposed to know if you’re talking over it. It says F- What? It says FBI. Okay, well FBI I don’t care. Let’s watch the film and- It says on the screen FBI- shhhh (continued shhing). This is previews something that- STOP IT. Who is he? This is the first minute of the movie mom. Well who is he? What is his name? I know just as much as you know right now. Okay, I’ll look it up.. We”l figure it out. Oh he dies. MOM! Why? Well I don’t wanna watch if it’s gonna be all doom and gloom. Why did you ruin it? Okay, I’m watching, I’m watching. Okay then put the iPad down. I’ll forget his name, I’ll forget his- I’ll put this over here then. Okay, then now lets watch the movie I just need to look at something. No, God. I’m turning off the notifications oh my god Lynn cool it with the baby photos. Mom you’re still on your iPad. I’m almost done. I’m watching you opening a new app right now. I know what’s going on.. …He.. They’re at the store. I’m watching this now, go ahead. Okay then. STO- AH Do you know what’s happening? I know what’s happening. Okay, tell me what’s happening. They’re outside. tHeY’re oUtSide. Okay, that’s what’s happening right now… in the park, if you let me finish. You’re just seeing what’s going on from one scene to the next. Well I’m having a hard time seeing with so much speaking. tHAt’S nOt- Mom.. OH MOM! Just I.. Feel attacked. Put this away from two minutes. Okay. And you’ll know what’s going on. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. You’re an angry gay. ahahah I don’t know who any of these people are I know- Mom that’s the main character Well, which one? The one that that’s been on screen for most of the film. The blonde one? Do you want some popcorn? I’ll get you some popcorn you want something to drink? You didn’t finish this one? I’m not gonna pick up half-full cans from you all day long. I think that was you who put that there. You think I’d do this? Does this look like me? Stop shaking it on the iPad. This is wasteful. You’re wasting it right now. You can drink this. No you can drink that. I’m not gonna drink your spit. Mom you didn’t even pause the movie. I’m not drinking- well I don’t know who’s going on. He’s gonna die. Yes because you were on your iPad. Okay you’re watching the- What??? Ah way to go it’s on the screen. You’re the one who threw it. Mom, fix your plumbers crack. Jesus. Well don’t look ya weirdo. No it’s right in front of me, how am I supposed to not look. Well I thought you were supposed to be gay. No Ah, It’s your butt I’m just your mom Yeah that’s why I don’t want to touch your butt. Well you came out my butt so. What am I looking at? Oh is she the one from the show? Which show? The uh the TV show, the television show. There are multiple TV shows that we watch. Well you know what I’m talking about. I don’t know, I definitely do not know what you’re- Mom I know you’re sleeping. I’m not sleeping, I’m watching. Okay lets see it. I’m- Mom. Mom! What do you need a fucking magnifying glass. OK, OK. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I thought that a nice night with you and me, just a month before you’re supposed to leave for college would be nice. But apparently it was too much to ask so I clearly learned a lesson here. I- Mom. I just thought we should have a special time like we used to. I’m- I’m sorry mom okay, lets just finish watching the movie, I’m sorry. Well if you’re so obsessed with your gay boy b-pfft

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