When you’re not super fit | Drew Barth |  Dry Bar Comedy

When you’re not super fit | Drew Barth | Dry Bar Comedy


I like our apartment. I like our bathrooms. I have ONE gripe with our bathroom, though, and it’s the way that it’s set up, it’s configured in such a way where, when you’re standing in the shower and you pull back on the shower curtain, that main mirror is right there. And I’m not usually ready for that. Like, it’s normally if you’re gonna be naked in front of a mirror, you kind of psych yourself up a little bit, right? You’re just—you’re like, “Alright, here comes the mirror, alright…” And you just flex the whole time, here, in front—”Hey, you look pretty good today! Alright, just brush your teeth— “There we go, put in my contact lens, alright. Alright, you deserve a pizza, good for you. Alright.” Somehow, I forget every morning: I get done with my shower and turn off the water, put my shampoo back, pull back the shower curtain… I’d rather see a Puma in my bathroom than my naked disappointed foggy self looking back at me. Also, whoever was that designed the mirror to go down to here? We need to talk, because… I’ve also discovered that kind of my personal self-confidence in my body is directly correlated to wherever I wrap the towel around myself. Like, some dudes wrap it around here: stop it. Uh…I like to go, like, right aro—if I could wrap it around my neck, that’d be… Make like a cape-poncho kind of thing. That’s… That’s the look I’d like. My wife and I, we did try and get into good shape for, uh, for our wedding. I’ve never really—never really had, kind of, a—a physical fitness goal to get towards. Uh, my wife does like to watch a lot of soccer, and… And if you’ve ever watched soccer with a girl, it is—because those players are ridiculously good-looking, uh, and in tremendous shape, and it’s actually kind of like a level of physical fitness that I feel like anybody can attain, which I think is why it’s kind of even harder to watch, like, I don’t want to just see a whole bunch of me if I actually applied myself, like… I think that’s part of the reason why soccer’s had trouble catching on in the U.S. the way it has with the rest of the world, is that we like our athletes to just be genetic freaks. So that we’ll be watching, we’re like, “Well, I’ll never be that big or that muscular, so I don’t even have to try, awesome. Where’s that cheese blizzard I was working on again?” And you can actually even watch other sporting events with a girl and feel okay about yourself: you can watch the NFL. It’d be like, “Sweetheart, would you like it if I was, you know, 6’6″, 250 pounds, would you even want that?” “No, that’s too big! That’s not what I…that’s too many muscles, we couldn’t fit on the couch when we… watch Grey’s Anatomy. You’d scare the cat. [giggle]” You watch the NBA with a girl: “Sweetheart, would you like it if I was, you know, 6-foot 8″ like that guy, would you want that?” “No, that’s too tall, it’s too tall! [giggle] Cos we like to spoon, and that’d just be like… “I mean, like a spoon and a…and a ladle, just…” But if you try watching soccer with a girl, and you’re like, “Sweetheart, would you like it if I was, you know, “6% body fat?…had a fauxhawk?…spoke Italian?… “Sweetie?” “Yeah, I really would, actually! “I’m just saying, you could do it, you guys are the same height! He’s—he’s like six years older than you, he… “He looks great. No, finish your burrito, I’m glad you like burritos, I’m just… “Just—just saying he probably doesn’t get winded when we make out, so…” It’s a fair point. That’s a good point. Subscribe to Dry Bar Comedy for even more of the world’s largest collection of clean comedy.

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  1. The trick to the shower mirror thing is to stay in long enough to make the mirror so fogged up that you can’t see anything in it

  2. He reMinds me of my brother's gay partner Russ. When we all go out, people place Russ and I together, we're always hugging and joking with each other, haha thank you love your stuff, super relatable

  3. So nice to hear a male comedian who doesn't force a lisp into his female voice impersonation.
    Also, this clip was hilarious. 🤣

  4. Funny that he's talking about soccer players because I get a lot of a "Xabi Alonso younger and better looking brother" vibe from him.

  5. For whatever reason my new apartment has a mirror above the tiolet🤤
    So,when I go pee,im confused & flustered because if I dont look I feel someone is staring at me,if I do it feels awkward like im watching myself. So….I pee with the light off,& my head down & try not to think about the creepy man staring at me😊

  6. Oooh I hate him, he is already so handsome talking about getting in shape , while I'm sitting here like freaking panda.

  7. I read that Drew Barth has a terrible accident in Feb. 2018 by an uninsured driver.   Friends set up a GoFundMe page for him to help cover medical expenses.   If you can donate anything, please go to:  @t     Thank you!

  8. My boyfriend is a 6 foot 3, over 200 pound rugby player…and he scares everyone 😂 but he's the sweetest person ever ❤

  9. Because the add about a lung cancer diagnosis before a joke clip helps with the laughter so much.

  10. Idk whether to feel sad for or comforted when truly attractive people say they have appearance/confidence issues. It's like, you wish they could just see how good looking they are but at the same time it's nice to know that people aren't so different after all and that no one's perfect.

  11. This guy makes me proud of working out with this and some other videos of him but I don't think he doesn't work out actually

  12. Another sport you don't watch with a girl: ice hockey. You could only get away with watching football if you're not watching JJ Watt.

  13. I hope this guy doesn't get simply pigeonholed as a "clean comic". He's really quite talented and funny in his style. He's not groundbreaking or the next Richard Prior/Louis CK/Norm MacDonald/George Carlin kind of genius funny but he probably doesn't have their issues either. He's basically a classic sitcom comedy style comedian. Like I can imagine him having a show where he plays a young, early 30something newly married IT guy living out in the suburbs of Denver or something with a young pretty wife and his first new house. A bit of a throwback but I'd like to see him thrown in the mix and doing some sets on Jimmy Fallon or Conan.

  14. I love mirrors. I love walking around in public and get talked too every 5min. Too bad compliments don't 'feel' the same after a lot of them.

  15. He calls it “clean” comedy yet he’s happy to call a homosexual scene in a movie “weird” . Grow up, it isn’t the 1950s anymore. What more weird is you and your outdated heteronormative thinking.

  16. He's really funny, one of my favourite comedians ever. The only single thing is that self-body shaming comedy is a tiny little bit dull in my books if you're so good looking as him.

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