I could cook before
but now I can cook a lot more. Okay. And… Through this process of self-discovery. I found a very fundamental element of life. Which teaches us that the most amazing things
in the world are simple. and not complex. Obviously, I’m talking about the ‘dosa’. How many of you guys like the ‘dosa’? Yeah! Hell, yeah! There’s nobody who doesn’t like a ‘dosa’. If you find someone who doesn’t like a ‘dosa’, please kill them. They might be a future dictator. Okay? ‘Dosas’ are amazing. It’s a peace loving food. It is beautiful. It is pristine. Like, if you see a ‘dosa’ counter, like a free ‘dosa’ counter in a wedding. It’s just like the lowest form
of humanity there. Okay? Like sorry. The lowest form of humanity
is the free ‘chaat’ counter. ‘Coz you don’t even want ‘chaat’
but you’re like, “It’s free!” One ‘paani puri’ and one ‘sev purr’. Just put it in my mouth. You know. But, the ‘dosa’ counter,
you just see everybody patiently waiting. That’s my ‘dosa’. Oh, this is not my ‘dosa’.
Oh, this is your ‘dosa’. Okay, you have your ‘dosa’. I’ll have mine hot. I’ll have mine hot. It’s just peace… it’s peaceful. Have you ever seen a bunch of rowdies
fighting with ‘dosas’ in their hands? No. No. A bunch of rowdies will fight, ‘Hey…’ You suddenly throw ‘dosas’ at them, they’ll be like, ‘Hey, this is nice and crispy.’ Give me the red chutney, bro. I love red chutney. That white one I don’t like so much. It’s a peace… It’s… That’s why it’s… It’s what brought about peace
in south India. It’s the south Indian weed. It is. Yes. I will prove it. All you north Indian guys, you go on a trip somewhere in the north
with your friends. Your one south Indian friend, in four days is going to crack. And one day will be like,
I need to have some ‘dosa’ right now. It’s been four days. Give me ‘dosa’! Scary withdrawal symptoms. Yeah. And a ‘dosa’ is so amazingly simple. It’s so nice. And there’s a food that gets too much credit. Which is the biryani! Okay? How many people like the biryani? Yeah. It’s nice. It’s nice. It’s not a crime to like biryani. But, it’s not that great also. Okay. Oh. Nobody has completed reading
a full recipe of biryani. Yeah. No one. You start at number 1. It’s like… okay, you take the rice
and soak it in water. Hey, I can do this. Step 5. Face the pot to the sun’s galaxy and
Saturn gamma rays will come and cook it. Hey, what is this? Andre biryani.
Please, one family pack. Yeah. No one finishes that recipe. Nobody. Yeah. ‘Dosa’ is so simple. It has two ingredients. ‘Urad dal’ (split black gram) and love. Yeah. You take an ‘urad dal’ packet
and stare at it. With love. It turns into ‘dosa’ batter. How many of you guys can’t cook? Give me a cheer. Yeah. If I give you ‘dosa’ batter
and you dropped it by mistake on a stove, that’s ‘dosa’, bro. That’s ‘dosa’. The universe… puts it’s atmospheric pressure
and makes it flat. The design of the ‘dosa’ is so pristine, that I could put a ‘dosa’
in an Apple commercial and you won’t know the difference. The brand new plain ‘dosa’. Comes in 16GB ‘dosa’, masala ‘dosa’, Mysore ‘dosa’. Something for everybody. I want to eat a ‘dosa’ right now. The ‘dosa’ is the only thing… Like… ‘dosa’s are ironically also made
by the dirtiest people. No offense. No offense. But, if you go outside to a restaurant it’s almost like they’re playing a game. Like the owner of the restaurant… Okay, who hasn’t taken a bath
since two weeks? Okay, you come. No. No.
You don’t need to wear a shirt. It’s fine. There’s this guy in every ‘dosa’ shop
not wearing a shirt, just a ‘mundu’ cloth and he’s like… He puts water. He takes the freaking broom and he wipes the stove. You’re still like,
“I don’t care. I want the ‘dosa’.” That’s my ‘dosa’. Give it to me… in my mouth… I want it! ‘Dosa’ is the only food that you could put the word
‘plain’ in front of it and it’s still appetizing. ‘Plain’ biryani?
No, thank you. Plain ‘dosa’?